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Old 10-12-2018, 07:53 AM
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Default Biting Advice for DCM & I?

I have a 2 year old dcb who is biting.... this is a new behavior, he has only successfully bitten once but I can see that it has become his go to attempt to get his way when frustrated. (He also will push / hit mostly when someone tries to play with the person he is playing with or the toy his wants in the moment, etc.)

DCM & I want to partner to give him consistent tools at home and school to handle his frustrations in a non-physical way (i.e. use his words, tell and adult, etc.) Any suggestions on advice I can give to mom? Any suggestions for me?

I cannot term him (he is my highest paying / most reliable client and I love the boy and family) plus dcm is not okay with the behavior and willing to partner with me to help it so I need solutions other than terming. I will only term this dcb as an absolute worst case.

Background:
The biting is new and stemmed only after another dcb bite this one last week when that dcb's mom was away for 10 days (the difference was that dcb oddly bit just because he was bored and did not break skin and has not attempted it again after we spoke about it, this one however is attempting to bit or hit/push in frustration several times a day now)
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Old 10-12-2018, 08:43 AM
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He is a new two or an older two? How is his language development?

I have/had a biter.. fingers crossed it has been a few months but he was a new two at the time. I set up a pack n play on both levels of my house and if I could not be directly next to him close enough to intervene if I saw signs that he was getting frustrated/aggressive to be able to step in, in the bed he went. If I had to feed a bottle or make lunch where I didn’t have my arms free he went into the pack n play. The kids called it his “bitey bed”. We also read the book “no biting” about a million times.

This kid has a oral fixation to the extreme and everything is in his mouth. We are getting better. Someone on here suggested a “bitey box” of toys that it was okay for him to chew on. They suggested something hard like a wooden block, something cloth like, something rubber (we used a toy dinosaur) and something silicone, they had suggested an infant tooth brush. He ended up taking a liking to a lovie that had harder “hands” and a silicone top. He hasn’t attempted to bite a friend in months but any time he’s chewing on any of the toys I redirect him to his “bitey toy” and he’ll go in the basket it’s in and sit and gnaw on it for a good while.

Is he biting at home too? If not there really isn’t much for mom to do if it is strictly a daycare issue.
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Old 10-12-2018, 09:10 AM
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I had a 3 year old DCG randomly start biting once. She did it 1 time, thankfully didn't break skin. We talked and I figured it was isolated. Didn't even talk to the parents because it was so odd for her. Did it the next day again to the same DCG! I told her that since I couldn't trust her to behave like a big girl when I was busy, she would need to sit on a rug with a book during those times. Talked to her Mom that night, found out she was also doing it at home and they thought it was because Dad moved into his new house (her parents are separated).

I did the rug technique for a week, reminded her each time that she was going to the rug and sitting while her friends played because I couldn't trust her to be a nice friend while I was busy, etc. The next week, I gave her a chance on Monday, after a good talking to about her previous behavior, watched her very carefully as much as possible and she was good. But, she was one who wanted to please so that matters. If it's a stubborn child who doesn't care, or they're not old enough to understand, then you're looking at using a playpen or separating them longer. Good luck!
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Old 10-12-2018, 09:15 AM
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Also, advice for Mom is only necessary if the child is doing it at home. Finding the cause and addressing it makes the long term response different. With my case, she was acting out for unrelated issues that couldn't be changed. So, with her age and all that was the response. If the child is doing it for other reasons (can't express themselves), then teaching them a word to use, for example, is better (but they still need to be separated when you have to be out of sight in order to keep your other DCKs safe.
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Old 10-12-2018, 02:58 PM
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DCB is an older two, he will be 3 next month and all of my dcks are 2-5 so we don't even own a playpen and he would easily climb out. He is very verbal and speaks clearer than several of my older three year olds.

He is biting when he does not get his way.... mostly related to possessions - being possessive of a friend he does not want to play with anyone else, possessive of a toy. The challenge is if he friend he is possessive with initiates play with someone else he hits the other child (who did not even seek out playing with the friend), if anyone touches a toy he loves even if he is not playing with it he reacts. He does have a new baby brother and his mom started back to work outside the home..... so I see he is more clingy then when he initially started but I am not sure.

He is not (yet) biting at home mom says but he is showing signs of frustration and will hit / push at home - even to his infant brother and parents. The biting I think it just the newest action when he is frustrated/angry...
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