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  #1  
Old 05-28-2018, 04:46 PM
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hgonzalez hgonzalez is offline
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Default Family Termed/Feel Used

I have had a family for about 7 months. Their previous provider closed her daycare before their infant was born and left the family in a bind to find care.

The oldest child was set to enroll in Kindergarten and continue coming to my house for daycare. I have been bringing this up for months and have gotten very vague responses. When I asked if they were going to the open house a couple of weeks ago, I also did not get a response.

I found out the previous provider has moved, to a house close to them, and is re-opening her daycare. I just got a two week notice that they are leaving my daycare and going back to her daycare. I am in shock, but now realize this was all figured out before, thus the vague responses about kindergarten enrollment.

I don't think they had any intention of staying here long term, and were waiting for her location to change to re enroll their kids there. I believe things happen for a reason, but feel betrayed. Yuck, I adore the kids and this is hard!
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  #2  
Old 05-28-2018, 05:27 PM
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ColorfulSunburst ColorfulSunburst is offline
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don't take it so personally. Do they give to you a two-week notice as you ask in your contract? Yes.
Must they inform you about their family plans? Not.
What would you do, if you are them? I'm pretty sure you would do the same as they do.
I think there aren't any reasons to be upset or feel used.
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  #3  
Old 05-28-2018, 08:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hgonzalez View Post
I have had a family for about 7 months. Their previous provider closed her daycare before their infant was born and left the family in a bind to find care.

The oldest child was set to enroll in Kindergarten and continue coming to my house for daycare. I have been bringing this up for months and have gotten very vague responses. When I asked if they were going to the open house a couple of weeks ago, I also did not get a response.

I found out the previous provider has moved, to a house close to them, and is re-opening her daycare. I just got a two week notice that they are leaving my daycare and going back to her daycare. I am in shock, but now realize this was all figured out before, thus the vague responses about kindergarten enrollment.

I don't think they had any intention of staying here long term, and were waiting for her location to change to re enroll their kids there. I believe things happen for a reason, but feel betrayed. Yuck, I adore the kids and this is hard!
Oh, that stinks! I understand why you feel the way you do. It's especially tough when you grow attached to the kids and expect to have a long term relationship with them. I'm sorry the parents weren't more up front with you about their plans. Unfortunately, this kind of thing seems to be part of the child care business. It'll sting for a little while but then, hopefully, another family, with a couple of wonderful kids, will come along soon to take the sting away.
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Old 05-29-2018, 03:29 AM
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Originally Posted by e.j. View Post
Oh, that stinks! I understand why you feel the way you do. It's especially tough when you grow attached to the kids and expect to have a long term relationship with them. I'm sorry the parents weren't more up front with you about their plans. Unfortunately, this kind of thing seems to be part of the child care business. It'll sting for a little while but then, hopefully, another family, with a couple of wonderful kids, will come along soon to take the sting away.
I agree with this. It does hurt and sting. I don't care what people say; I know this is a business and we have to stay detached but darn, with children it's awfully darn hard sometimes. And it's darn hard to not take it personally, even though we really shouldn't. Having been left in a bind by this provider before, you'd think they'd know better? But it's nothing you've done or haven't done. People always do what's best for them.
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Old 05-29-2018, 06:24 AM
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One of the hardest lessons in this business is that it is a business. I run my program to suit my family's needs because I expect DCFs to act in their best interests. That's not a bad thing. But yeah- the reminders of that suck.
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Old 05-29-2018, 08:27 AM
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I look at things like this his way. If I unexpectedly had to close for an extended period of time and then was able to reopen I would for sure be reaching out to the families that I had enrolled to see if they wanted spaces. I wouldnít fault a family for going back to someone that they potentially used for years. Does it suck a little? Yes. But itís part of the job.
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Old 05-29-2018, 12:29 PM
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Well that suck . I think when we expect a family to stick around and they donít it is hard not to take it personally, especially when you think they were likely comparing you the whole time.

I think this is why it is so imporant to keep your distance emotionally from families and always do what is best for you.
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Old 05-29-2018, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
Having been left in a bind by this provider before, you'd think they'd know better?
I am willing to bet they weren't left in a bind at all and knew perfectly well what they were doing.

They knew previous provider was going to have a lapse in her ability to provide services due to the move etc and the time it takes to get her license renewed and then up and running again so the family fabricated a story so OP would feel bad for them and take them in.

Old provider is now open for business so family is returning.


OP ~ Word of advice; the next time a family comes to you "in a bind" take that as code for "temporary care needed"

I'm sorry things worked out this way and this family left you feeling used.
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  #9  
Old 05-31-2018, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by DaveA View Post
One of the hardest lessons in this business is that it is a business. I run my program to suit my family's needs because I expect DCFs to act in their best interests. That's not a bad thing. But yeah- the reminders of that suck.
Yes this is a hard lesson which I have had to learn. All families will do what is in their own best interest.
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  #10  
Old 05-31-2018, 03:25 PM
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sharlan sharlan is online now
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Yep, BTDT.

Other provider got shut down due to over capacity. It took two months to up her license. As soon as she got her license straightened out, they were gone.

Many compliments on my program, how the kids were really progressing, how much I did with them, etc. I charged $30 a week more.
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  #11  
Old 06-01-2018, 10:42 AM
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ONE family of mine did this to a daycare provider. They enrolled for summer with no mention of it being short term, even after they knew they were re-enrolling. It made ME think less of them, in all honesty.

The other parents who followed me TOLD their providers they were leaving as soon as they were aware. One was booted early (not so professional) and the other was asked to stay with a tuition decrease (they declined).

All in all, everyone looks out for themselves first. It isn't personal, I'm sure you run a great program!
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  #12  
Old 06-01-2018, 11:08 AM
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Happened to me too! Family, in a bind, needed before and after school care for their son because current provider was over ratio and was letting older kids go. When chatting with me the family told me the daughter was at the old provider but they would eventually move her over to me (which was the ONLY reason I agreed to take the son as the daughter was the same age as my daughter so could be a playmate). 4 months later they moved son back to the old provider. My guess is they were just waiting for old provider to have the space.

Always do what works for you because families will and most of us have learned that lesson.
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  #13  
Old 06-02-2018, 04:59 AM
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knoxmomof2 knoxmomof2 is offline
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I've been in this for 5.5 years, with a lot of long term clients. Through people's daily actions, and this board, I've learned that people will always do what is in THEIR best interest, regardless of what it cost you. So, don't give more than you're prepared to lose, essentially. Set policies that protect you (like requiring notice) and move forward.

Just because we sacrifice and put our hearts into this does not mean that they do. As my Husband (who has a long history in customer service) told me once- "they're the consumer, they owe us nothing but our pay". It hurts, we think this is more personal, but it's not unfortunately. It's business.
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  #14  
Old 06-02-2018, 05:02 AM
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... And to build on other comments : "in a bind" can also mean that they messed up somehow - like they got booted from another provider for not paying, not following policies, etc. Every family I took on with little notice ended up being unstable or short term.
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