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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Give Me Strength To Terminate! Please!
nanglgrl 01:17 PM 07-25-2012
I have a 2 year old little boy that I've been watching since he was 7 months old. He is an absolute sweetheart and the only problem I've ever had with mom is when I have to take time off, she always acts like its my problem that she doesn't have back up care but somehow we always figure it out. That is really the only problem, I get paid on time, she shows up when she is supposed to, etc. but...he is 2nd shift. This wouldn't be a problem if I actually provided 2nd shift care but I don't so it is.

A few years ago daycare was slow for a while because we were remodeling so I did not accept new kids (the space was a mess)and a lot of my kids went off to school. Around here the majority of calls looking for daycare come around the end of summer and during winter break and I missed both of these deadlines with the remodel so I was desperate. The mom called almost in tears looking for childcare. There are very few providers that do 2nd shift in this area and of the few that do I am the only one that I know of that has a quality environment.

At the time she called I no longer did 2nd shift, no matter how nice your program is enough people don't need it around here to ever fill up. I explained that I didn't do 2nd anymore but I agreed to meet with her and her mother (child's grandma) and liked them immediately. It also helped that my son was the same age so I thought they would be good playmates. I said that I could watch the child but that I do not provide 2nd shift care any more and that it would be temporary. She assured me that was fine as she was wanting to change to 1st shift. Fast forward about a year and a half and I'm still watching him. How do I tell this mom that I can't do it anymore?

I was going to tell her that I need time to work out at night and to do things with my family and give her until September 1st to find care for her son. I plan on telling her in person, a note will not do but I need an outline. Truthfully, I'm sick of seeing my family go out for ice cream etc. and I have to stay home with him, I'm becoming overweight (maybe I don't need the ice cream) and want to go work out but I can't put her child in the gyms daycare, I would like to go on bike rides with my family but the bike trailer only holds 2 and I have 2 little ones of my own. Ack! Not only all of those things but where will she go? I know its not my problem but I don't want him to go to someone who doesn't take good care of him. HELP!
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crazydaycarelady 01:32 PM 07-25-2012
Maybe if you give her an ultimatum she'll finally switch to first shift? Otherwise, you have to do what is best for your family. I know it's hard but she'd leave you the first chance she got if it was better for her!
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Blackcat31 02:10 PM 07-25-2012
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
I said that I could watch the child but that I do not provide 2nd shift care any more and that it would be temporary. She assured me that was fine as she was wanting to change to 1st shift. Fast forward about a year and a half and I'm still watching him. How do I tell this mom that I can't do it anymore?

I was going to tell her that I need time to work out at night and to do things with my family and give her until September 1st to find care for her son. I plan on telling her in person, a note will not do but I need an outline. Truthfully, I'm sick of seeing my family go out for ice cream etc. and I have to stay home with him, I'm becoming overweight (maybe I don't need the ice cream) and want to go work out but I can't put her child in the gyms daycare, I would like to go on bike rides with my family but the bike trailer only holds 2 and I have 2 little ones of my own. Ack! Not only all of those things but where will she go? I know its not my problem but I don't want him to go to someone who doesn't take good care of him. HELP!
Don't tell her you are having to do anything in your private life. Just as her private life issues/schedules are not your problem, we should never use our personal obligations or needs as an excuse to them....kwim?

I would say:

Dear Daycare Mom,

As you know, when I agreed to provide care for your child it was a temporary situation and would not be permanent as I do not normally provide second shift care. Please accept this letter as written notice that I will no longer be able to provide care for your child. The last day I will provide services will be July XX, 2012.

Sincerely,
Daycare Provider


Regardless of her actions/words, do NOT provide reasons. Just simply say you can no longer do second shift. Sorry. No ifs, ands or buts.

I say not to provide reasons because in my experience, that is only giving them a chance to argue, persuade and/or negotiate and if you are simply not willing to do second shift....don't. You don't have to have a valid reason as it is completely your choice. If you give a reason and she sees you doing up town and not at the gym working out, she will think you lied or you are now going to be available again....kwim?
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cheerfuldom 02:13 PM 07-25-2012
do not give so many particulars about your workout needs and such. Let her know that you have decided to know longer provide 2nd shift care and the last day you can do it is X date. leave it at that. Keep repeating "I'm sorry, I have decided to no longer provide 2nd shift care". Dont let her bait you into sharing every reason why because then you will get into an argument and be trying to validate your reasons. Just do it and move on with your life.
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Heidi 03:19 PM 07-25-2012
If you like the family, I would amend Blackcat's letter to say that as of xx date, you will no longer provide 2nd shift care. However, you would be very happy to include dcb in your daytime group. You are available from xx to xx M-F.
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Tags:2nd shift, termination
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