On the door in my dining room, I have a schedule taped to my door titled "Crazy Schedule", and it has the times/days that I have kids coming and going for school/school pickups/leaving for preschool and dropping back off/ etc. Today, a mom stood at the gate while I went into my kitchen to make her formula to take shopping with her, and when I came back, she says "Yep, you do have a crazy schedule, I would have to write it down too". I wanted to say OMG, you are awful nosey to stand at my gate and stretch your neck far enough to see what is written on my paper. It really pissed me off, it was none of her business, and simply quite rude to stand there and read it, let alone to mention that she in fact read it and commented on it.

What is wrong with people. It is sad that nothing in my home is "ours" anymore. People can be so rude and inconsiderate, and nosy, just pisses me off. How would they like me to come into their home and read their mail, they wouldn't. Because I have something taped to my door for my use does not give a parent the right to stand there and read it. If it was posted inside the front door is one thing, but it wasn't she had to stand at the gate and stretch her neck to read it.

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I know what you mean. I have one that glances at anything sitting on my table. If it's a receipt for another parent, a check from another parent, a bill statement laying open, our tax info getting ready to be done... she'll look at it. I have to keep that in mind when she comes, and make sure I either put something over it, or put it away. She doesn't pick it up or anything, but I watch her looking at it. Even upside down. Like she's trying to see the bottom line of what we owe Chase bank, or what my husband made this year, or how much the other family pays, etc. I'd love to say something but I wouldn't dare. lol

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OMG!!! What is wrong with these parents now a days!! I think the same thing, with parents walking with their shoes on past my tiled foyer area!! I once had a parent put their daughter's yogurt in my fridge, yes actually put it in there!! I couldn't believe it!! I allowed her 2 days to do it, to see if she would the 2nd day and she did. I finally said, I can put the yogurt in my own fridge, thank you- she even went to do it a 3rd day, and I stopped her, and said to her again, in a not so nice voice- Excuse me, I said I would place it in my own fridge!!! I have a Dad walk across my living room carpet, to place money onto my kitchen counter or island- hello, I am standing right here- what are you doing walking across my floor, etc... Then I have caught him looking around what is in my kitchen, my appt. book, etc..I finally had to tell him- you can just hand it to me. What is wrong with everyone??? This is my personal home, I would never had done anything like this, when I was taking our children to daycare!!!

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i would leave a paper out that said "HA!! caught you being nosy!"

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That's too funny! Thanks for the laugh (and good idea)

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Not trying to hijack the thread. Just had a suggestion about the Dad who walks across the floor to bring his check to the counter instead of handing it to you. Could you get a little box (like those recipe card boxes or index card boxes and label it "payments", placing it next to the sign-in sheet? Then they wouldn't have any need to walk further than the sign-in table. Not that he had a "need" to before, either, since he could just hand it to you. But with a specific place for it, you could just tell them all to leave payments in that box, so even if you're busy with another child, they wouldn't have any excuse to walk in any further.

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I actually thought of this same thing, but you know he only does it about once a month, if he has diapers, wipes, or anything else. I have a table right beside the foyer area, so now I am right there, and if he has something I hold my hands out for it!!

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Ha ha ha, these kind of parents are the reason why I stopped leaving notes etc out on the table. I buy those colored folders that have pockets on the inside and brads for three hole punches for all of my papers and reminders. Each month has it's own folder and I keep track of attendance, payments, reasons that a child was absent, conversations I had with parents, phone calls, notes, reminders & incidents etc. Whenever I left these papers out I always had a parent peeking so now I keep them in the folder to hide them from prying eyes.

My sign-in/out sheet has a spot for me to mark whether they have a note home or not and I slip the note in the child's cubby. It's amazing the lenghts we have to go through just to have some privacy in our own homes

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Sorry, but in my opinion, if you have it on your door, i don't see a problem with someone reading it. If you don't want people to see something, put it away. If it's out, expect it will be looked at. You open your home to people, if you are that guarded maybe you shouldnt run a business from your home.

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Maybe the parent thought this was a notice that she was supposed to read. Unless she's a horse wearing blinders, I think it would be human nature to read a sign while one is "waiting at a gate". I would not have taken offense or considered her nosy... her comment to you doesn't come off that way at all. If anything, she agreed with you.

Honestly, if the person who I paid & entrusted to care for my baby had a sign on her wall titled "crazy schedule" - you bet I'll be craning my neck to read it. I might even step over that gate to do it too. I'd want to be 100% positive that my child was being properly cared for & watched every second of the day.

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Not to start a debate here but I don't get invited to a friends house and read their mail that is left on the table next to me when we're having dinner or go to their fridge and read their bills posted on it while we chat. I was invited to come over and it might be right in front of my face but I find it rude. JMHO.

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I agree, I don't open somebody else's fridge, walk across their carpet with my shoes on, go into their kitchen and read notes, or look into what she has out- Are you kidding me????

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I can see both sides here. Personally, I prefer my parents come in, walk about, check out the playroom and see what their kids are doing. They don't knock, they just come in and they walk from the entry, through the playroom, and sometimes on the other side through the dining/kitchen area to the back yard, depending on where the children are when the parent arrives. They go in and check their child's cubby, get their jackets from their hooks at the back door, see any new projects we are working on, etc. I'm far to busy to greet every family at the door, and prefer to not be interrupted having to answer the door just because they are here for the day or here to pick up. I don't leave anything out that I wouldn't want read or seen by my parents. While I understand not wanting a parent to walk with muddy shoes on in your house, or to see what's hanging on the fridge, I can also see the parents perspective in that they want to be able to see the environment - all of it- where their children have regular access. And, if my provider had a gate that barred me from entering the space in which my child spends a significant portion of her day, and I didn't feel "welcome" to enter, I'd probably leave and not come back.

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I have to agree to some extent. We are opening our homes to people and if you don't want them to see something, don't put it where they can read it. if a parent has a sippy of milk for their child and offers to put it in the fridge, I gladly let them, as I usually have several children hanging around and don't always have time for something like that. I appreciate it.

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The point is, parents being nosy, making an effort to read a note I had for my benefit on my door, then being bold enough to comment on it. It was simply none of their business. And, just because I have a business in my home, does not give parents the right to tromp thru my home at their own whim. They can see all my rooms I use for daycare without crossing the gate, which isn't even the issue here, being nosy is. This is my home, I have a right to have things out I don't want parents to stop and read, that is just simply rude on their part. I could only imagine what my floors would look like if all my parents walked thru my home, especially in the winter or during lots of rain. My carpets would be ruined. I have a hard enough time with one dad and his greasy shoes on the entrance rug. If I had parents that constantly abused my home and being nosy in this way, they would be gone.

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asking you is one thing, but to just place it in your fridge, is totally a different story!!!!

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I don't really have a complaint about this dad because they have been one of the BEST parents anyone could ask for but he never writes his check out to me at home, he does it when he gets here so he always walks into my kitchen to look at the calendar which is in the total opposite direction of the daycare room, which kind of annoys me because it's my "messy" counter the one people cant' see unless they walk in there and he use to and I don't know why he stopped but he would always take her "lunch" bucket and put it in the fridge or go get it, yup just opens my fridge, kind of bothered me but I think he thought he was being helpful, I don't know what changed but he doesn't do that anymore and she's been coming here for 4 1/2 yrs, she brings a lunch bucket because they live a long ways from me so it's for her to munch on on the way home, but I never quite understood why people dont make their checks out before they come, I always did the night before and stuck it in the diaper bag, but I have a few parents that do it when they get here.

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I wouldn't totally mind that. Obviously we each have our own comfort level with what parents should do in our home, so we should make sure that we communicate that to the parents, otherwise they won't know and it would lead to some unhappy providers.

I didn't mean for that to come out snarky...hopefully it didn't

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I want to add....that parents stepping over the gate is a liability issue for me. The last parent that did was a dad they had picked up for the first time since his girls came here, flew in the front door, I didn't even know he had walked in and when I looked up he was stepping over the gate and caught his foot. I don't want to be paying for a broken foot because a parent was disrepectful in my home, and they is what I consider it, when you walk in and get off the entry way rug with your shoes and fly on it.......

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I make sure that anything in my living room, dining room, kitchen and daycare area of basemant is ok for parents at any time. Most of them feel that my home is a "home-away-from-home" for their children, and by some extention of that they feel pretty at home at my house too. Most of them have eaten dinner at our house more than once and anything that's out in the open is ok for them to see. I wouldn't mind them going in my -had a mom put her frozen milk in the freezer when she dropped off each day, one less thing for me to do!
I guess it all depends on the relationship you have with your families. If it is strictly business, then absolutely they have NO business at all reading your things and going through your house. If it's more of a partnership/extention of family type thing then it's most likely not a problem.
Either way, they should respect your things and not ruin them!

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[quote=mac60;50531]The point is, parents being nosy, making an effort to read a note I had for my benefit on my door, then being bold enough to comment on it. QUOTE]

And from what I understood this was a door that was not to be accesible by the parent correct? As in it was behind a barrier that was meant to keep certain people on a certain side of it.

I don't mind that parents come in and such but I have a designated space called the parent's board that has all of the information that I want them to have. The kiddos don't use my dining table much anymore they have their own table and so I would leave some paperwork and notes on it so that I could work on them and I had parents coming in and reading or shuffling through them even if it wasn't meant for them . I once had a reminder slip for a doctors appointment on the counter by my bills near my back door because I had gotten a UTI and was supposed to go back to make sure that it was gone and a parent walked all of the way back there while my fiance was cooking and picked it up and read it and then asked me about it . I think that's personal and that she shouldn't have done that. Yes, it was out but it was not out so that she could read it. It was out so that I wouldn't forget the appointment. If you have a space that is designated for them and a space that is not they should respect that.

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Seriously it is NONE of her business.....Who is to say that it had anything to do with daycare....It could of been my daughters college and work schedule, my husbands appointments, my volunteer work at the nursing home, it could of been anyone's schedule that lives in this house. This IS my home to which I make a house payment and pay taxes, my family does live here, to say that any parent has the right to come into my home and start reading my personal stuff is simply wrong...if the parents need to see something, it is always inside the front door, been that way for 11 years.

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Wow, quite the statement here. It wasn't on the front door that the parents use. It was on another door in another room. It was for my use, not theirs, and I have every right to put whatever up to help me stay organized whether it is daycare related or not, doesn't make it ok for nosy parents to stand and read my personal stuff. If I am guarded I shouldn't run a business....wow, this is my familys home. Even my own friends and family don't come in and get nosy like that. What ever happened to respect for people and the homes....obviously the younger generations of parents/people lost that some where along the way.

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i agree. the parents were always welcome in my home (other than my bedroom). they'd come into the kitchen if i was cooking or feeding the kids. they'd go into my kid's bedrooms if that's where the kids were playing. they could use my restroom if they needed to. i always had/have bills and appointments posted on my fridge and i really wouldn't care if anyone saw them. some of the parents would ask to use my computer and sit at my desk where i had all kinds of junk. when you're running a business from your home where people are coming in and out (especially daycare) - you have to be careful about what you have out for people to see. i might wash the dishes when i really didn't feel like it or clean the bathroom when i wanted to put it off because parents judge your environment as they should. it was none of the parent's business if my husband or i drank beer in the evening - but i still made sure to take the trash out so they wouldn't see it. i guess i could've told a parent who went to throw something out, "no, you can't use my trashcan. this is my home!" but i'd feel pretty silly - and it was much easier to just put things out of sight i didn't want to be seen.

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i agree with you. parents got in my fridge all the time and if i was making breakfast when they dropped off, i had one mom especially who would help set her child up - grab a fork from the drawer for him, etc. i didn't mind it - i appreciated it. it's a benefit of having a home daycare IMO - it's less formal and the kids and the parents should feel comfortable, but yeah, everyone has their own comfort zones.

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This is what you feel comfortable with which is great. For me however, I choose to keep my daycare stuff seperated from my personal stuff, in the example like yours about the fork I have to agree that I appreciate it that some parents choose to do this themselves. I just don't like people (not even some of my family) going through my stuff. I keep open shelves in the kitchen with all of our DC dishes, utencils, bottles etc. DC toys are kept out and personal toys are kept upstairs and put away. Notices for parents are kept on the communication board in the front room and my personal stuff is kept in my kitchen on the counter near the door leading into the garage.

Yes I run a business here and so I can excpect a limited amount of privacy but I do appreciate having what little I do have to myself respected. I don't go into Lowe's to speak to an associate and go through their desk cabinets to read hand written notes and climb up the ladder and go through the top stock while I'm "waiting".

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I personally feel that if you choose to operate a business out of your home, your making the choice to not have as much privacy. If a parent went snopping in your private office or bedroom that's one thing, but stuff out in the open is another. Personally, if I was a parent I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my children somewhere that I am made to stay behind a gate and not come any closer. That seems odd to me, but that's the joy of running our own business I guess, you can make those choices. I agree with pp, if it's out, you should expect it to be looked at. Yes, it is your home, but you are making the choice to open it up to people. Everyone runs their business there own way for sure.

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This bothers me. That parent was totally overstepping. I've never had overly intrusive parents, but if I did, I'd be letting them know exactly what the boundaries are. I do occasionally have my payment book laying open on the counter -- if a parent decided to snoop, they could end up snooping not just in my business, but in all the other families' business too. It's just not right, even if I am watching their child.

As a comparison, if a parent were to go looking around the office or rifling through the papers on the manager's desk at a daycare center, they'd be asked VERY quickly to leave, and no one would have trouble understanding why. I see my daycare as a business. There are contracts, policies, receipts, and payment schedules set up to that end. I just don't think parents have a right to go looking for information about someone's personal life (unrelated to the care of their child) just because their child spends time at their home. It comes down to the whole trust issue again -- if you're wary about leaving your kid there, don't!

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Dbug....ITA that parents shouldn't be "going through stuff" For instance, if a parent came in and opened my desk drawers and questioned me about something, I'd have no issue telling them that that is my personal business, that they are overstepping boundaries and to please not do that again. BUT, what is REALLY being talked about here is the parent seeing something that is out in plain view (not referring to MarinaVaneessa's stuff, it wasn't in an area parents should be) Stuff on the fridge IS going to be easily seen AND read, by most parents, not just one. It just happens that only one commented on it.....but it's likely others had seen it too.

The whole point I'd like to make, is, if you don't want a parent to see something, put it behind closed doors. YES, this IS your home, but it's also place of business. No, I don't go into Lowe's and get into drawers, but I do notice stuff hanging on Bulletin Boards and sitting ON TOP of desks and, yes, I am nosey and sometimes read those things. ESPECIALLY if I am being made to wait while someone gets something for me.

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I had a tough time with a using a baby gate too. Parents always tried to step over or the babies climbed it. But I am lucky enough to have a great husband who is fairly handy so he made me a 1/2 door gate that separates my entryway from the main part of the house. The kids' cubbies and coathooks are all in the entry way. The 1/2 door is a great way to keep all the cold air in winter from coming in and getting little ones who are on the floor playing and it also keeps all the messy dirt and stuff in the entryway. However, there is also a big sign on the gate that says "Everyone welcome...just remove your shoes first." Most parents prefer to stay on the other side, but ALL know they are welcome to come in whenever they like. I also have a bell on the entry door so I can hear when someone enters or exits and I tell everyone not to knock...I don't have time to always stop and answer the door. ALL parents are welcome to enter whenever they want and I can always hear the bell.
In regards to items being out, I guess in my opinion if I don't want it viewed by others I put it on the inside of a cupboard or I keep things inside file folders. I can't avoid posting schedules and notes on my wipe-off calendar board where everyone can read. If others see when everyone else is coming or going, I can't help it. No one has ever made comments about someone else's schedule so that is weird, but if I want to keep it private, I guess I think it is my job to put it out of sight.
Like Crystal said, if I am waiting somewhere, I read everything posted.....can't help it. In the grocery store the other day I had to wait for a price check and while I was waiting I could totally read the list of everyone who was not suppose to write checks to the store anymore. Sorry..I read it, I couldn't help it but I didn't comment on it....(at least not outloud!)

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I've been following this thread for quite awhile now, and I must say, it is the PERFECT example of the varying opinions on this forum. This is why I come here all the time.

On the topic, my 2 cents-
I'm in the "If it's out, and it's within eyeball shot, it's fair game" crowd. I mindlessly read everything I see when I'm waiting...it's what I do. I'll read advertisements, posters, leaflets, old newspapers and magazines that have NOTHING of value to me, and I don't think I can help it- if I can see it, it's going to be looked at. To be clear- I would never open a book, file, drawer, cupboard, etc... without permission. In that parent's case, they were probably at a comfort level with Mac60 that they felt they knew you well enough to be friendly about your life, since you know a lot about them, I'm sure.

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Actually, I don't know a lot about my parents....other than where they work, and an occassional family member that may pick up. I keep a fine line between business/friendship, and if this mom thinks she is at such a comfort level to read my schedule, then she is pretty bold....well actually she is at times., As for my parents, other than for dc, I do not associate with them ever. Do I consider some of my dc moms my friends, yes, but it a business friendship, not a friend friendship.....we don't hang, we don't go out to eat, I simply care for their children.

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Just curious.....why would your clients NOT know your schedule during the day? I mean, if you are transporting children and either all of the children are tagging along for the transport OR you are leaving them with another caregiver while you transport, your families SHOULD know and have every right to know. If it's not you transporting, I would think families still have the right to know who is coming and goin from your program throughout the day. And, if you don't want your clients reading it, WHY would it be on a door where they CAN read it. It's not like this is PERSONAL stuff, the schedule you are referring to has everything to do with your business. It just makes no sense to me.

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I do not transport kids ever. It is no parents business when M and C get picked up on MWF and dropped back off. It is no parents business when H gets picked up on M/T and gets dropped back off. The schedule....purely for my use, purely for me to know when to expect parents coming and goings, was not in an area that is is readily viewed by parents, it was not at the entryway, it was in a different room of my home, where I have access to it to walk by and glance at it to make sure I don't forget that someone is leaving or returning. If the schedule was taped to/by the front door, it would be one thing, but it wasn't. Bottom line, the mom was rude and nosy to stand and read it, and even more so to comment on it. Like I said before, it could of easily been a schedule for my daughters work/school or my volunteer schedule, doesn't matter. Wasn't her business. It's all about respect, which I swear half the population doesn't know what that word means. And seriously, just why is the varying families schedules anyone else's business. It is not family 1 business to know family 2 schedule. I don't get that. It is personal stuff. My personal stuff that a nosy mom thought she had a right to read. Whether it is personl or business stuff, doesn't make it her business.....My business paperwork is not her business either....

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you can tell the ones who would cover up their tests with their arm in high school and then flip it over when they were finished......and who would slide theirs to edge for everyone to see and lean over for the person behind them.

that's what it reminds me off. MY PEEEERSONAL stuff! good lord, it's not results from an aids test or preperation h.

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HUH? Makes no sense.

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She's saying that some of us are the type, that when we don't want someone to see something, we guard it closely and put it out of sight, leaving no possibility of prying eyes seeing it.

And, some of us are the type who will leave stuff out where people with prying eyes can see it, then whine about it when they do see it.

At least that's what I think she means.

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Oh, that's nice.

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close, crystal, but not exactly. it does make sense what you said though.

what i really meant was some people are uptight and some people aren't.

for example, i always made good grades in high school so i never needed to cheat, but i wasn't one of those people that would cover their paper up incase someone was trying to. a lot of the smart kids would do that. if they wanted to risk getting in trouble - whatever - i was still getting an A. i was pretty laid back. i never got in trouble, but i did have a teacher one time pass my paper back, then pass the guy behind me his - and look at me and say, "don't do that again."

there was the rare case when i'd forget about a homework assignment and when i'd ask someone to help me out, they'd be like NOO! those would be the uptight people - the ones that cover their papers like it's a life or death situation if someone sees it - when in reality, it's not that big of a deal.

it just reminds me of that for some reason - i dunno why.

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This may get confusing but here are my opinions :

I see many different sides. I see on one hand from the providers side that yes it is your home with your belongings. On the parents side, their "belonging" is at this home all day. They want to know their surroundings etc. Does it give them a right to be rude and snoop? Of course not. However if I read something like "Crazy Schedule" and MY child was there, regardless of what I was told from the provider, I, too, would look since my "belongings" are in this environment as well.

Now if the provider was licensed then that might be a different case. A parent has access to ALL rooms that licensing permits. If a parent was in a room that WAS NOT then as a provider I would most definitely say something. However if it was, sorry, a parent has a right to be there. And if that parent has a right to be there, if you dont want something looked at, touched, tasted, whatever...then it shouldn't be there. Regardless of the providers stance "well this is my home first". In the eyes of licensing, the child (parent) comes first.

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Wow, I really am surprised at most of the responses here. I would have predicted the general response would be the complete opposite! For all of our collective venting about parents not respecting policies, closing times, etc., most of us (it seems) aren't terribly worried about parents respecting our personal schedules/papers/documents? To me, it's exactly the same thing. I expect parents to respect the procedures I've put in place and I expect them not to go reading everything I've got in my personal space.

For those that do read everything they see, when you realize you're reading something you probably shouldn't, do you stop yourself? If you were at a doctor's office, and the doctor left his personal daybook open on the desk, would you read it while you waited? After all, he's about to examine you or your child -- you'd want to make sure everything was on the up and up, wouldn't you? That just seems to cross the line, in my mind. I think in Mac60's case, this mom should have clued in that if she had to lean over a gate to read the thing, then what she was reading was not meant for her eyes. I would be annoyed too!

I don't know, it's just with trying to run our daycares like a business, but then allowing parents access to every part of our lives -- it just seems contradictory. And at the same time, I'm worried that so many people feel so free to look in other people's business. Just my opinion, but I think I'd be as ticked off as Mac in this case ...

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ITA with you!!!

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I think there's the difference- "when you realize it, do you stop reading?" If I were at a doc's office and my eyes wandered to his daybook, yes, I would stop. A paper hanging at my dd's daycare might be a note, art project, activity, etc... I would look. If it were in the kitchen, I might assume it's a recipe, or craft. I would assume it involved my child. Even if it said "Crazy Schedule" because guess what-as a parent I hope there is a schedule of some type there, crazy or not. It might even take me a few lines to realize that it didn't involve my child. And at that point I might look up at you sheepishly (noticing the look on your face) and make a quick comment to try to save face.

But I'm only human.

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