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Josiegirl 02:49 PM 08-19-2018

I met with a very nice family today. Close friends of my sister who gave them my name. I sent them both copies of my policies over 2 weeks ago.
Red flags
1) they hadn't even looked at the policies; they didn't have enough time but assumed they're all pretty standard.
2) their son is turning 2 yo in October and that's when he'd start. They've decided to hold off on giving him his MMR shots until he's 3, because she's read up on it's ties to increased chances of autism.
3) when their ds fights with others over toys, his way of responding is biting.
4) Since I wouldn't be able to take him until his birthday late Oct. they'd probably go with another dc(they have another interview this week) for the 5 weeks then switch him here.

Those were the 4 main issues that stood out for me. Other than those things, he seemed really sweet, mellow, happy, lays down for naptime really easily. Typical normal little 2 yo behavior, gets into everything, loves animals.
I am so torn on this. He's never been in care before but is very comfortable in all situations they said and doubt he'll have any issues with separation.
One thing I think may be a problem is if I ever had to call for pick up, dad would have a hard time leaving to pick him up due to the type of work he has and I'm thinking she would too.
I'll be emailing them this week, with more questions. I was really kind of upset they were too busy to even glance at my handbook. I was expecting lots of questions.

So what say you?? Bet I already know.
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LysesKids 03:46 PM 08-19-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:

I met with a very nice family today. Close friends of my sister who gave them my name. I sent them both copies of my policies over 2 weeks ago.
Red flags
1) they hadn't even looked at the policies; they didn't have enough time but assumed they're all pretty standard.
2) their son is turning 2 yo in October and that's when he'd start. They've decided to hold off on giving him his MMR shots until he's 3, because she's read up on it's ties to increased chances of autism.
3) when their ds fights with others over toys, his way of responding is biting.
4) Since I wouldn't be able to take him until his birthday late Oct. they'd probably go with another dc(they have another interview this week) for the 5 weeks then switch him here.

Those were the 4 main issues that stood out for me. Other than those things, he seemed really sweet, mellow, happy, lays down for naptime really easily. Typical normal little 2 yo behavior, gets into everything, loves animals.
I am so torn on this. He's never been in care before but is very comfortable in all situations they said and doubt he'll have any issues with separation.
One thing I think may be a problem is if I ever had to call for pick up, dad would have a hard time leaving to pick him up due to the type of work he has and I'm thinking she would too.
I'll be emailing them this week, with more questions. I was really kind of upset they were too busy to even glance at my handbook. I was expecting lots of questions.

So what say you?? Bet I already know.
Nope... no way; one for just switching after 5 weeks in another daycare

I have also had a few families swear they read my policies (on my website for free), then questions about everything that was covered online or stating they didn't agree with certain things - specifically states on my contact page, if you haven't read or agree with everything including illness pick up & no fragrance, don't send me your info to set up an interview.

And like a few others, I have turned away at the door for the fragrance issue alone. Not being able to leave work... sorry, unless you are a judge or in the middle of surgery, you best have someone that can get that child within an hour, especially in an emergency situation. I would not do a meet & greet with this family
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Leigh 03:49 PM 08-19-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:

I met with a very nice family today. Close friends of my sister who gave them my name. I sent them both copies of my policies over 2 weeks ago.
Red flags
1) they hadn't even looked at the policies; they didn't have enough time but assumed they're all pretty standard.
2) their son is turning 2 yo in October and that's when he'd start. They've decided to hold off on giving him his MMR shots until he's 3, because she's read up on it's ties to increased chances of autism.
3) when their ds fights with others over toys, his way of responding is biting.
4) Since I wouldn't be able to take him until his birthday late Oct. they'd probably go with another dc(they have another interview this week) for the 5 weeks then switch him here.

Those were the 4 main issues that stood out for me. Other than those things, he seemed really sweet, mellow, happy, lays down for naptime really easily. Typical normal little 2 yo behavior, gets into everything, loves animals.
I am so torn on this. He's never been in care before but is very comfortable in all situations they said and doubt he'll have any issues with separation.
One thing I think may be a problem is if I ever had to call for pick up, dad would have a hard time leaving to pick him up due to the type of work he has and I'm thinking she would too.
I'll be emailing them this week, with more questions. I was really kind of upset they were too busy to even glance at my handbook. I was expecting lots of questions.

So what say you?? Bet I already know.
#1: I'm betting that at least half of parents are like this.

#2: That's a big nope at my daycare

#3: I'd NEVER take a child who I know has a biting issue

#4: I wouldn't have an issue with this if the other daycare knew what was going on. I wouldn't want to be party to doing this to someone behind their back.
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Josiegirl 04:19 PM 08-19-2018
Thanks I didn't feel going to a different dc for 5 weeks then switching was good either but she offered(I didn't mention it)she would be upfront with the other dc.
I'll have to check our state regs. on immunizations but that is legal, isn't it, to refuse some/all, even if it's only based on personal opinions and not religion exempt? I've never run into the issue before.
Yeh, I'm really leery about heading into a known biting issue. She just kinda shrugged her shoulders and says we teach gentle touches/it happens. It does happen but so much easier to say when your child isn't the one going home with bite marks.

I've got to stop thinking about the money I'd be bringing in and be realistic(and SMART).
So when I email them back, thanking them for meeting with me today, how do I turn them down nicely and use for a reason? I did tell them I had a couple issues I need to think through and one was getting 4 young ones and 2 dogs safely to the backyard. The other was where I was going to place them for naps. Being so young I'd like to keep them separated and when the 2 older dcks are here when school's closed, they need to rest too. That isn't going to work.
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storybookending 04:52 PM 08-19-2018
The biting does it for me. Nope! Hardest habit to curb IMO you have to be “on” at all times.

Also where is he biting if he has never been in care before. I’m more concerned that biting is happening already in what I assume are just play dates or times spent with cousins. Imagine it happening in full day care.
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LysesKids 05:27 PM 08-19-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Thanks I didn't feel going to a different dc for 5 weeks then switching was good either but she offered(I didn't mention it)she would be upfront with the other dc.
I'll have to check our state regs. on immunizations but that is legal, isn't it, to refuse some/all, even if it's only based on personal opinions and not religion exempt? I've never run into the issue before.
Yeh, I'm really leery about heading into a known biting issue. She just kinda shrugged her shoulders and says we teach gentle touches/it happens. It does happen but so much easier to say when your child isn't the one going home with bite marks.

I've got to stop thinking about the money I'd be bringing in and be realistic(and SMART).
So when I email them back, thanking them for meeting with me today, how do I turn them down nicely and use for a reason? I did tell them I had a couple issues I need to think through and one was getting 4 young ones and 2 dogs safely to the backyard. The other was where I was going to place them for naps. Being so young I'd like to keep them separated and when the 2 older dcks are here when school's closed, they need to rest too. That isn't going to work.
The immunization thing is a state thing... if you are one of 3 states, CA, Mississippi or WV, then it's a definant NO Way for religious/philosophical, but it's also your business; you don't have to accept them if you take only immunized kids - unless they are subsidized, then it might get iffy. Why would school age need to have a rest... quiet time I can see, but not a "rest time"
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Pandaluver21 08:14 PM 08-19-2018
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
Why would school age need to have a rest... quiet time I can see, but not a "rest time"
Any of my school agers here during nap time, rest. A good chunk of them actually fall asleep, but those that don't either lay down with audio books or a quiet movie. Nothing wrong with a rest for them and break for us
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LysesKids 11:15 PM 08-19-2018
Originally Posted by Pandaluver21:
Any of my school agers here during nap time, rest. A good chunk of them actually fall asleep, but those that don't either lay down with audio books or a quiet movie. Nothing wrong with a rest for them and break for us
I'm thinking many of the ones that fall asleep don't get proper rest at night. School age need quiet time, naps no... and if you need that much of a break daytime instead of keeping school age kids entertained on holidays, maybe you aren't in the right kind of work. I homeschooled my own and never expected a break once they were elementary age - just my opinion
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Josiegirl 01:57 AM 08-20-2018
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
I'm thinking many of the ones that fall asleep don't get proper rest at night. School age need quiet time, naps no... and if you need that much of a break daytime instead of keeping school age kids entertained on holidays, maybe you aren't in the right kind of work. I homeschooled my own and never expected a break once they were elementary age - just my opinion
My 2 dcks that will be in school ft are in prek and k. And yes, believe me, these particular 2 dcks still need a rest. The k dcg becomes extremely challenging and all she wants to do is lay on the floor after quiet/rest time is over. It doesn't appear to affect her sleep at night because she's usually asleep by 7:30-8 at the latest. I never call it nap time but either call it quiet time or rest time. And yes, some of us DO need to rest our bodies during the day, gives us a good recharge for the afternoon. And like Pandaluver, I offer them books or quiet activities if they don't fall asleep within 30 minutes. It'd be the only way to assure the little ones will sleep.
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LysesKids 04:46 AM 08-20-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
My 2 dcks that will be in school ft are in prek and k. And yes, believe me, these particular 2 dcks still need a rest. The k dcg becomes extremely challenging and all she wants to do is lay on the floor after quiet/rest time is over. It doesn't appear to affect her sleep at night because she's usually asleep by 7:30-8 at the latest. I never call it nap time but either call it quiet time or rest time. And yes, some of us DO need to rest our bodies during the day, gives us a good recharge for the afternoon. And like Pandaluver, I offer them books or quiet activities if they don't fall asleep within 30 minutes. It'd be the only way to assure the little ones will sleep.
When you said school age, I thought you meant 6 or older . That does make a difference because some kids don't start Kindy until almost age 6 based on the states cut off age... I don't consider school age pre school 4-5 yr olds, but then my own dd's didn't start until first grade
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Blackcat31 06:22 AM 08-20-2018
1) they hadn't even looked at the policies; they didn't have enough time but assumed they're all pretty standard.
"I would actually mention this as an issue when responding in e-mail or via a separate e-mail if you've already replied back once. I would simply say something like " I am sorry I didn't mention this earlier but was somewhat taken aback when you admittedly said you didn't have time to read through my program policies and just assumed that my policies were just standard practice.

I understand that parents are pressed for time but the policies I've created for my child care program are THE foundation of my philosophies and practices within my program. It's imperative that parents take the time to read and familiarize themselves with these policies so that our working relationship can be a positive one.

Several of my policies are dictated by the state but many are a direct reflection of myself and my program and I feel strongly that this information should be red and understood by all my clients before enrolling. If you could take some time to read my handbook and policies prior to interview time it would create an opportunity for us to talk openly about expectations. Thank you and I look forward to meeting with you and your family."


2) their son is turning 2 yo in October and that's when he'd start. They've decided to hold off on giving him his MMR shots until he's 3, because she's read up on it's ties to increased chances of autism.

Personally I wouldn't allow the delayed vaccinations however if that isn't an issue for you, I would make sure you have all the correct information on file your state requires other than just a parent belief statement. I think we used to have a statement from the child's doctor stating the parent and doctor discussed all the info necessary and the parent is choosing not to get the MMR but the doctor is aware of it etc etc..

3) when their ds fights with others over toys, his way of responding is biting.

The biting issue wouldn't freak me out. I have a 2 week trial period and would feel comfortable making my own decision about that. I firmly believe that 75% of biting issues are rooted in environment. I am not the same environment for everyone so ....

I've taken 2 kids (both boys around 13-18 months old) that were termed for biting at daycare (one a center/the other a home daycare) and neither child was a biter for me. So the biting would be what I would be looking at during my trial period but it wouldn't automatically scare me off from giving the child a chance.


4) Since I wouldn't be able to take him until his birthday late Oct. they'd probably go with another dc(they have another interview this week) for the 5 weeks then switch him here.

What parents do for care services before I have an opening isn't my concern. If I don't have space until X day, they gotta do what they gotta do until that space is available. Even if it means a temp care until then.

Bottom line for me.....the trial period will tell you everything you'll need to know.


Oh! and the pick up issue, I'd mention that one during the interview too and stress heavily that if dad is unable to pick up within X number of minutes that they will HAVE to list someone on their pick up list that can. If you stress this during the interview most parents get it. Plus it's one of those things that IF it were an issue you can address later.
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Josiegirl 09:58 AM 08-20-2018
I met with them yesterday and they really loved everything about the place, inside and out, and I suppose because they think of my sister as a grandma to their kids, they assumed I'm just like her. But this is a business for me, I have policies they need to abide by.
And we didn't touch on much information; I did ask them questions about their ds, we talked about naps, meals, his behavior(that's where they told me about his biting which has happened in playing with his relatives).
But the more I've thought about things, I really don't feel comfortable enough about getting a double stroller, and 2 young walkers out back safely, plus my dogs. I think I need to be realistic about my limits.
Thanks everybody, for your help!!
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Unregistered 10:30 AM 08-20-2018
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
Nope... no way; one for just switching after 5 weeks in another daycare

I have also had a few families swear they read my policies (on my website for free), then questions about everything that was covered online or stating they didn't agree with certain things - specifically states on my contact page, if you haven't read or agree with everything including illness pick up & no fragrance, don't send me your info to set up an interview.

And like a few others, I have turned away at the door for the fragrance issue alone. Not being able to leave work... sorry, unless you are a judge or in the middle of surgery, you best have someone that can get that child within an hour, especially in an emergency situation. I would not do a meet & greet with this family
What do you mean by fragrance issue?
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LysesKids 11:56 AM 08-20-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What do you mean by fragrance issue?
One, I'm an Eco Healthy childcare, two, I'M allergic to fragrances/chemicals including washing machine detergent and most perfumes - causes my asthma to flare & I get migraines; I have a no fragrance policy because I do nothing but infants & many of them can be sensitive to the chemicals also. I require parents not wear cologne/perfume & they use no fragrance washing liquid/no dryer sheets or I send them on their way ( I will turn away at an interview if I can smell something)... the chemicals on dryer sheets can be worse than the fragrance sometimes. I'm not the only one on this site that does this either
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Ariana 02:05 PM 08-21-2018
I have had parents not admit they did not read my policies but it became painfully clear that they did not within the first week. When they start asking questions simply say “that is in my policy book so I highly suggest you read it because it will answer a lot of questions for you” and then they will most likely read it.

Nothing else is really alarming to me. Some parents don’t really get that this is a business until you show them over and over again that it is a business!
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Unregistered 01:32 PM 08-25-2018
I'm an Eco Healthy Child Care too, but it doesn't have anything in their checklist about fragrances. I guess that's just your personal thing. I'm similar so I can relate, but I don't have a policy on that. I won't take children from smoking families, though.
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Josiegirl 03:18 PM 08-25-2018
sigh
I am such a $ucker. I have been in touch with them and am working things out, I hope. They do seem really nice. I did tell them it's imperative we're on the same page(read my policies!)to ensure a successful dc experience.
One of my dcds told me he could install an exit out of my playroom, directly into my backyard so that would take care of a major worry of mine. I think everything else could work out. In my email I reiterated a 2 week trial period and rates are based on enrollment not attendance.
Wish me luck one way or another.
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LysesKids 04:16 PM 08-25-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm an Eco Healthy Child Care too, but it doesn't have anything in their checklist about fragrances. I guess that's just your personal thing. I'm similar so I can relate, but I don't have a policy on that. I won't take children from smoking families, though.
I know the fragrance thing when it comes to perfume & such is my personal, but it does make a lot of families happy...
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MarinaVanessa 10:47 AM 08-27-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm an Eco Healthy Child Care too, but it doesn't have anything in their checklist about fragrances. I guess that's just your personal thing. I'm similar so I can relate, but I don't have a policy on that. I won't take children from smoking families, though.
I did the Eco Healthy Child Care program and had the endorsement through them for a couple of years and I know theirs lists fragrances as one thing to avoid. You don't have to do everything on their lists. It works like a point system so as long as you have under a certain number of points checked off you can still be considered eco-friendly because you are limiting a lot of other things.

https://cehn.org/our-work/eco-healthy-child-care/

On theirs it's on ther checklist under Air Quality
https://cehn.org/wp-content/uploads/...e-Printing.pdf
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LysesKids 11:19 AM 08-27-2018
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I did the Eco Healthy Child Care program and had the endorsement through them for a couple of years and I know theirs lists fragrances as one thing to avoid. You don't have to do everything on their lists. It works like a point system so as long as you have under a certain number of points checked off you can still be considered eco-friendly because you are limiting a lot of other things.

https://cehn.org/our-work/eco-healthy-child-care/

On theirs it's on ther checklist under Air Quality
https://cehn.org/wp-content/uploads/...e-Printing.pdf
I have never gotten anything under 28 of the 30 & that one year I had that happen I was renting & had no control over the the duplex parking lot lol... and yes I specifically have it in my policies about no plug ins, candles etc, not just fragrance in the detergent and perfume. Sometimes families think I take things to extremes, but I have been with the program since Hester started it going National in 2010 (it was originally started in OR) - heck in 2011 I talked to her personally; they only stated charging to get the certification after Washington DC took over. The first few years it was free to get the certification. In fact I was the only one in AR for 3 years
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MarinaVanessa 02:16 PM 08-27-2018
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
I have never gotten anything under 28 of the 30 & that one year I had that happen I was renting & had no control over the the duplex parking lot lol... and yes I specifically have it in my policies about no plug ins, candles etc, not just fragrance in the detergent and perfume. Sometimes families think I take things to extremes, but I have been with the program since Hester started it going National in 2010 (it was originally started in OR) - heck in 2011 I talked to her personally; they only stated charging to get the certification after Washington DC took over. The first few years it was free to get the certification. In fact I was the only one in AR for 3 years
Yep that's when I was in it too. I was the 3rd in CA to sign up. After they started to charge I stopped doing it officially but still follow a lot of the things on the checklist, just don't have the endorsement.

They have also changed the way they work their point system and have changed their requirements to make it more difficult so I would not longer qualify
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Blackcat31 04:47 PM 08-27-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
sigh
I am such a $ucker. I have been in touch with them and am working things out, I hope. They do seem really nice. I did tell them it's imperative we're on the same page(read my policies!)to ensure a successful dc experience.
One of my dcds told me he could install an exit out of my playroom, directly into my backyard so that would take care of a major worry of mine. I think everything else could work out. In my email I reiterated a 2 week trial period and rates are based on enrollment not attendance.
Wish me luck one way or another.
Crossing my fingers you are lucky! 🍀
But that’s what a trial period is for....

I have been pleasantly surprised before so I’d rather try and know than never know; ya know?
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Josiegirl 04:07 AM 08-28-2018
Welp, evidently this family didn't like my most recent email. Lol Dad left a message yesterday saying they found a place that takes toddlers and thanks for my time. At least that's what I think it said. It's my landline and it's difficult to clearly hear messages so I emailed them this a.m. to clarify.

I'm not unhappy about the outcome if that's the case so why am I feeling this little bit of ego letdown?
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Annalee 04:19 AM 08-28-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Welp, evidently this family didn't like my most recent email. Lol Dad left a message yesterday saying they found a place that takes toddlers and thanks for my time. At least that's what I think it said. It's my landline and it's difficult to clearly hear messages so I emailed them this a.m. to clarify.

I'm not unhappy about the outcome if that's the case so why am I feeling this little bit of ego letdown?
Providers experience "ego letdown" because most FCC providers I know, including myself, put so much passion into their programs. I am finding that passion dwindling at times with a "whatever will be will be" due to the over-stress of trying to "please" clients. There's a good chance you dodged a bullet with this client so maybe something better will come along.
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rosieteddy 08:03 AM 08-28-2018
Josie take it and run.You had feelings of doubt at least in your first email.I think gut instinct is what you should go by.Yes the money would be great but you do not have the door yet.Putting it in might take longer than you think and you originally wanted to start cutting down.Everything seems doable when the weather is nice.Then winter hits and hes biting ….I think you dodged a bullet.I know we hate when they do not "pick"us but sometimes things work out for the best.They didn't read your policies,they were sending him somewhere else for 5 weeks.
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trix23 11:03 AM 08-28-2018
Yeah, any parent that bops their child around with providers isn't really looking for their child's best interest... as a provider I now see how that's detrimental although I was guilty of that as a new mom years ago.

Sometimes when they go somewhere else, it's a good thing. I recently had a tour for a 2.5y girl where they were asking if i had a stepstool in the kitchen for handwashing and i said no because my babies and toddlers were climbing on it and getting hurt so i took it away. They also wanted a formal curriculum with like hours of preschool instruction and etc whereas I'm play-based and focus more on educating the whole child and learning life skills, although i do some preschool time in the morning if i have a child older than 3. with 6-8 kids under age 3 it's just too hard to get in ANY preschool time, especially with the fussy baby i have... i'm lucky to even do an art activity these days with my current crew.

sounds like be greatful is the thing
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Tags:biting, red flags
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