I had one mom text me today to let me know she would be a half an hour late. She is a teacher, and so I figured she had a meeting. No problem. When she gets here, I discover she is late because she has been out running. I'm not happy, but whatever...

Here is the circumstance about which I am not sure how I feel. DCB was out yesterday because he had vomited Sunday night. Dad brought the sister anyway - fine. Today, DCB is back, but falls asleep at the lunch table. I went ahead and laid him on his nap mat and he sleeps for 2 1/2 hours. When he wakes up, he is burning up with a fever. I call and text both parents and finally get a reply. First of all, mom asks if he can just take Tylenol. I tell her no, he needs to go home. She comes to pick him up at 3:30 - AND LEAVES HIS SISTER HERE? She then comes back 2 hours later to pick her dd up. She didn't leave to take him to the doctor, she simply takes him home then gets him back out two hours later to come get sis.

I get that she is paying for care, and if this had happened at 10 am I may feel differently. I am just not sure what to think. So how would you feel? Obviously, I am just going to have to get over it at this point.

Reply

I don't think I'd be able to hide the shock on my face! I can't imagine a parent picking up one child and leaving the other for another 2 hours! How old are these kids? Did the sibling that stayed WANT to stay? Did the child ask to stay or protest mom's leaving without her? Did mom think that the remaining sibling was having fun and didn't want her to miss out on the rest of the day???

That is crazy to me!

Reply

First off....going running on someone else's time??? NO! You need to nip that in the bud right now or she'll assume it's OK to be late for whatever she feels like. Do you charge late fees?

The taking boy and not girl, is irritating, but unless you have a policy that states she must take both if one is sick...then you have to suck that one up as she is paying for the time the girl is there.

This mom sounds very selfish. Be careful or you could be regretting a lot, real soon.

Reply

wow not sure what to say at all but would tell her next time she needs to take both kids if one is sent home

Reply

I haven't ever run into this happening (maybe because I charge hourly?) but if one is out, all siblings are out.

I wouldn't let a parent leave a sibling behind if a child was going home ill.

Reply

She shouldn't "let you know" anything. She is not in charge of your schedule. At the very least, she should be calling and ASKING if she can be late. And it's OK to say NO! To text and just state she WAS going to be late is ruder than rude. She must assume you have no life whatsoever.

Personally.....I'd be having a very stern talk or even terming.

Reply

Happened to me a couple of Weeks ago. Mom came and picked dcg up because she had a fever and left her sister here for the rest of the day. I was dumb founded.

Reply

The dd didn't know the mom had come - she was playing in the playroom and didn't hear her come in. I had already gotten her shoes on and had her ready to go. I was going to call her when I noticed dcm pick up the kids coats, then hang the dd's back on the hook. Honestly, I was thinking that she must have made a doctor appt. for the ds and was leaving the dd here while she took him and that the dad would be by to pick her up. Nope. When she came back to pick up dd later, she told me that she had made an appt. for tomorrow morning for him. She had taken him home and given him Tylenol. When she came back, she told me that he wasn't really that bad! The poor kid could barely keep his eyes open until she got there and was burning up!

Reply

This kind of thing is common here. Makes me but I have had to learn that I parent very differently from most of my families.... and that is hard. I had to add a policy to my handbook that if one child goes home sick, they all go, and that it is STRONGLY suggested that if one child stays home sick, they all stay home as they are all likely exposed.

Some of the things we have to write in our policies... - also, most of my parents go to the grocery store, running, home napping, whatever they want, as I don't do contracted hours and they feel like I'm open, so they can use me. Nobody around here (small town) does contracted hours, so I haven't found the courage to start it.

Reply

Weird, just weird!

Reply

I have a family that does this, if they leave work to get sick kid, they only pick up the one usually even if theres just a couple of hours left, I know why my one family does it, because they go home get their kid settled and continue working from home the last couple hours, and their other half picks the other kid up, I understand for my family its easier to finish their working day with just the one kid versus both, and it doesn't bother me, but yeah I would personally never do that.

Reply

I would say NO, it's not ok for me for you to be late.

In regards to the sibling thing, I have found that most parents can't handle more than one child at a time, especially if there are circumstances like illness or an outing. It's maddening. I had a dcm pick up sick dcb at 9am and leave dcg -crying- until 6pm. After all day of her being sad she couldn't just go home, I told Mom that will NEVER happen again as her dd was devastated. In another instance, the dcd picked up just the dcg and left dcb-again, crying- to take her out to lunch! Poor kids!

Reply

I probably would have done the same, but then I am with my children ALL THE TIME and run screaming when I get the chance to be alone! I would be annoyed, but would let them do it. I just dont understand why they would want to go back out to get the other unless the other half was picking up. If it was my only kid, that would bother me, but is one less kid going to do anything for me? If ones here, they might as well all be here!

Reply

Oddly I find myself not shocked about this at all. I've had parents go to the spa or home to start dinner, the come get their kids...sometimes arriving late. I've also had parents leave one child and take the other, only to come back a bit later for the one they left. None of it makes sense, to us, but to them I suppose it does. These are the parents that can't handle their children in a store or other public settings and the ones who spend little time with their children between picking them up and bedtime. It just doesn't seem to bother them for some reason.

I like you try not to let it bother me, but it does. I find I slip into negative thikning about the parents when this happens, but there isnt much I/you can do about it either since they aren't breaking any rules!

Reply

I have it in my policies for sibling groups that if 1 is sick, both stay home. If 1 arrives late, they both arrive late. If 1 leaves early they both leave early.

I do 1 arrival and 1 departure per family, per day.

If I had to tend to multiple arrivals and departures, I would be having to open and close the door 24 times a day. I don't have an hour to entertain that many arrivals and departures.

I would simply tell dcm that you keep your prices low and you do it by doing 1 arrival and 1 departure per day. In the future if dcb is out, dcg needs to be kept home as well.

Reply

I have had parents do this here. I do not understand it, and would never do it. And the running thing....leading to a LATE pickup....would make me lose it.

Reply

Out the 5 families I have currently, one does this ALL of the time. It drives me crazy! The last time dcb was sick and needed to be picked up. I told the dad that dcg wasn't her normal self either and she should go home also. He hem and hawed and when they (boy and dad) got ready to leave he said what do you want me to do about girl? I said TAKE her. He was not happy. Then I have one family that is soooo good about this. Infact her older son (kindy) is home sick today and she kept her 1 year old home with them. I wouldn't say one set parents is better than than the other just different.

Reply