Dcg is turning 2 in a couple weeks. Mom wants to bring cupcakes, and come to sing happy birthday. I sadi ok, after nap at snack time.

Then she wants to bring her husband too, ok sure

NOW she wants to bring her mother and mother in law too!

Really? We're just singing happy birthday and that's all. I want to say no is that wrong?

Not just for me feeling uncomfortable, but I don't think licensing would allow that

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Sounds like she wants to have a full blown party for the dcg at your house instead of her's. lol

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I'd allow her to bring treats.

If she shows up. she MUST take DCG with her. ONE drop off and ONE pick up per day per family.


If she is that concerned about her child's birthday, she can keep her home and spend the day with her.

If grandparents are available to come sing too, then they are available ot care for her on her birthday too.

I would say no.

If they really really really need to sing, have them call and you can put them on speaker phone.

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No freakin way.

DCM probably wants the family to see all dcg's "friends", make it like a "real" party.

Just say no.

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Sure, they can do it right at pick up time. When all the kids can go HOME sugared up and they can take DCG with them.

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Heck no! Seriously? There is no way I would do that...

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No. Then the other kids feel shorted when their birthdays come around. Sounds like 'jealous mom' behavior.

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Oh, God, NO! I don't understand why they would even ask for such a thing! Even if they did take DCG with them, you'd be left with all the other kids jealous that she got picked up, hyped up from having all the visitors in the daycare, and I just envision a total disaster for the rest of your day. I would tell them that they can send treats, period. If they MUST all show up to have a party at your house, I'd schedule it for 20 minutes before closing time.

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I wouldn't allow it. It amazes me how many times I hear about parents wanting to do this. In the 12 years I have been a provider I have never had a parent ask to do this.

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Is this a replacement for the child's family birthday party? Geeze!

I'd say yes on treats and I'll take photos that she can share but NO to having a three ring circus and all those people to disrupt and overwhelm my day care. Just tell her you reconsidered your first answer and think because of privacy issues and all you realized it's not a good idea.

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Thanks guys! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this was silly! This was a first for me!

I am fine with the cupcakes since I always make a cake or cupcakes for birthdays. I am fine with mom and dad coming. But not the others.

I will politely say no

I know she is having a big birthday party that weekend. Her relatives can sing then

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No way!!! Have them go home to do that! What weirdos!! She's just trying to get out of cleaning her own house to have guests over! LOL

I can't believe the nerve of some people. Would they be okay with all the other families having their parents and extended families over?? Blame it on licensing if you must, but I find that soooooo rude!!

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I would let her know that too much of a disruption makes the day too hard, so you will allow (if you want) a simple treat for the day, but that is all. I personally would never send my girls to DC on their birthdays, took a day off, and did something g special with them. I know not all people can do so, but if all those people re available to come celebrate, they can do it at home! Blame licensing for not wanting all the people

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I'd allow the treats but nothing else.

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Say yes and charge a $50 party fee ��

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Same here ,,,,, allow treats but that's it...... way to disruptive to the other children.....

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I let parents come for their one-year-old party. After that, I let them know that the parties are usually more fun for the kids when it's just us.
Having parents there puts them in "parent mode" which is not as pleasant for anyone.
Everyone agrees Well, at least so far I will never say never again

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Ok, I will be the weirdo here...
I have a mom that does this every year. Her dd has been here for three years and she has a party here, complete with treats (no grandparents though..that is weird.)
She brings cookies and ice cream, a couple of presents for the birthday girl, and a present for each of the other children in care. Comes at snack time, then goes back to work until pick up later in the day. So far it has been fine. If it caused a big issue (or she wanted to bring the whole family) I would probably say no. But all the kids have a good time, and we play outside until pick up.

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I told mom it wouldn't work out, too much liability with the other kids involved. She said ok, she understands. Her and dad will still come. I'm fine with that (not really, but open door policy, blah blah blah)

I felt a little bad until mom goes on to say the entire extended family is going out to dinner that night to celebrate the birthday in addition to the big party they are having that weekend. Mom says she wants to make dcg's birthday really special and wants the grandparents to see her being sung to by her friends.

I'm sorry, but give me a break!

Not to mention dcg's behavior around her parents is like night and day, throwing fits, trying to get her way, things she doesn't do with me. Like the others said, it would be a disruption when the kids go into parent mode. The other kids will likely act up too.

Here's the part that I didn't mention (nothing big, but this annoyed me). When she first asked she said "Do you mind if I bring cupcakes to sing before lunch? I took the day off." My husband didn't see what was wrong with that, but I'm sure you guys do!

She then added in "Oh and dad will come too." Then "oh can my mother and mother in law come too?"

So what she was suggesting is a party before lunch. All these adults getting the kids all riled up. Give them cupcakes. Then leaving, without dcg. Then I'm supposed to be able to calm them down, feed them lunch (which no one will want because they had cupcakes) and then try to give them a nap after their sugar high.

Mom didn't see the issue until I explained it to her.

So I told her yes, her and her husband can come with cupcakes AFTER nap and dcg leaves with them

Here's my thought: she says she wants to make dcg's birthday really special. SO IF YOU ARE NOT WORKING THAT DAY THEN KEEP HER HOME AND MAKE IT SPECIAL! UGH

Ok, I think I got it all out of my system

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How nice of her to take off her daughter's birthday so that you could make it "really special"

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Wow. That's exactly what popped into my head. Dcm has the day OFF. Sing to her at home!

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Wow. Why not do something special with her all day long if she is trying so hard to make it special. Some people. Is it just providers that see things this way lol. I allow cupcakes but that's it. I do a mini party for the kids. Play with balloons and do some bowling but no one else is involved.

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this whole situation is so annoyingly typical. Parents want all the glory for an awesome birthday but the child doesn't care and other people end up doing all the work. If the inlaws want to see the song then videotape it. No sense disrupting the whole day so that some random people can be there for a 30 second song....really. ugh. it is such an easy and simple request from the parents point of view because all they are doing is showing up. you are the one getting the room ready, prepping kids, trying to calm kids down......I am so glad you put some boundaries on this! after nap and they take the child with them is perfect.

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Lol. I revise my earlier statement.

I suggest you take a paid holiday for DCG's birthday and close the daycare down that day so that mom can host all of DKG's friends at HER house all day for the special day and DCG's grandparents can truly be part of all of it too.

Dear Day Care Families,
In honor of DCG's birthday on Thursday, DCG will be hosting daycare at her house for an all day birthday party! Please do drop offs at 123 Green St and call DCM at 555-0000 with any questions! See you on Friday!
-DCProvider

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BEST suggestion yet!!

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That's just awesome

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I love it!

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Hahahaha...amen...

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I personally don't see the big deal...and I have a tiny house .
I've had moms, dads, aunts, grandparents, cousins, older sibs, etc. come for birthdays and other special occasions. I think it is nice. **Shrugs shoulders**

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Even though I am license exempt - I SAY NO WAY. Besides causing an uproar with the kids ( and provider) It could also be a problem with licensing depending on the state ; some places you can't have anyone that hasn't been background checked on property for like more than 5 minutes

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