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Country Kids 01:33 PM 11-05-2012
I have unexpected company arriving in less then 20 minutes!!!! Out of town guests that are just passing through (my dad and wife).

The kids are refusing to sleep (whats new) and I know will go wild when they get here. I would love to enjoy their visit but its just not going to happen and it makes me mad that they won't take nap.

Please pray I can visit for just a little bit!
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littlemissmuffet 01:42 PM 11-05-2012


I hope they nap and you can get a good visit in. Is there any way your dad can wait to come have a visit after daycare is closed and it's quiet??
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momofsix 01:59 PM 11-05-2012
I really hope and pray you get to enjoy your visit. If they're still awake when your dad is almost there, I'd tell them he's coming and very clearly lay out your expectations. Be Firm and clear and at the tiniest thing they do to test I'd be on them. Per them know you mean business this time!
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Country Kids 09:23 AM 11-06-2012
They were all told to lay down and take naps while company was here. They didn't care! To them that meant its time to be extra wild because she will be preoccupied and busy-

One decided to put a blanket over their head and run all over the nap area. Then kick and scream when I laid them back down. Was seperated but would not quiet down or lay still.

Another one decided to wake the littlest one up by poking them and talking over and over and over.

One that was woke up decided to run around and poke at everyone.

Another one was all over the place also, seperated into another room. Still got up and was trying to run around, scooting cot everywhere and calling out to the other kids.

The last one slept hard but usually does every day no matter what-

All the company could say was how do you do this day in and day out. Its very embarrasing and I seriously do not know what to do. I posted awhile ago about what happened when someone was here during a meal time. This also happens when the food program is here. They know what is expected and told in the firmest voice known to man kind-it doesn't matter. They litterally go into pack mentallity and if I get one out of the picture the others take over. When I remove them from the situation they start running around crazy and act up so badly and then I'm still trying to deal with the others.

I'm thinking about having the parents pick up during inspection times so they can see how their children behave and then they can deal with it.
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littlemissmuffet 09:33 AM 11-06-2012
I don't necessarily think this is a parental issue though...

Almost all of my daycare kids are spoiled rotten and pretty much run the show at home. Once they set foot in my house, their attitudes and behvaiors change... so much so that the parents even comment on it. A mom/dad could tell their child 1000 time to stop doing something in front of me and they will continue doing it... me? I say it once and it's done. I don't mess around, I am very strict and firm with ALL kids and they know I mean business. I don't give in to whining, crying, screaming, any of that. I think sometimes my kids are intimidated by me... but they always tell me they love me, they give me lots of hugs and kisses and most of them don't want to leave my house at the end of the day.

I don't even know how I would handle a situation like this because my kids would never even think of acting this way!

Were you firm when speaking to them and lying them back down?
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Country Kids 09:43 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I don't necessarily think this is a parental issue though...

Almost all of my daycare kids are spoiled rotten and pretty much run the show at home. Once they set foot in my house, their attitudes and behvaiors change... so much so that the parents even comment on it. A mom/dad could tell their child 1000 time to stop doing something in front of me and they will continue doing it... me? I say it once and it's done. I don't mess around, I am very strict and firm with ALL kids and they know I mean business. I don't give in to whining, crying, screaming, any of that. I think sometimes my kids are intimidated by me... but they always tell me they love me, they give me lots of hugs and kisses and most of them don't want to leave my house at the end of the day.

I don't even know how I would handle a situation like this because my kids would never even think of acting this way!

Were you firm when speaking to them and lying them back down?
Oh, I'm so firm when I speak that its not even funny. They aren't even reponsive to my husband when he gets on to them. They will pretty much laugh and go on with behavior.

Its not one of them either. It doesn't matter who is here or who is missing the behavior is will be the same each time. It seriously baffles my mind as I have never had a group like this. It might be one child/two possibly buy not the entire group.

All of them though tell me through out the day how much they love me, give me tons of hugs, and there are a few that hate leaving every day.

I just don't understand why they go balistic when someone is here for something!
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countrymom 10:09 AM 11-06-2012
how old are they
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Country Kids 10:11 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
how old are they
Old enough to know better-

3's & 4's
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:12 AM 11-06-2012
I have 12 children here and some are real boogers. I can't imagine if they all acted that way when someone was around.
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littlemissmuffet 10:12 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Oh, I'm so firm when I speak that its not even funny. They aren't even reponsive to my husband when he gets on to them. They will pretty much laugh and go on with behavior.

Its not one of them either. It doesn't matter who is here or who is missing the behavior is will be the same each time. It seriously baffles my mind as I have never had a group like this. It might be one child/two possibly buy not the entire group.

All of them though tell me through out the day how much they love me, give me tons of hugs, and there are a few that hate leaving every day.

I just don't understand why they go balistic when someone is here for something!
Hmmm, are they like this only when there are others in the house?

My kids start going crazy when someone comes over - but they get a very stern warning and they usually behave. If not, they are put in a corner in the front entrance - unable to see or showoff for the company so they will smarten up.

And yes, ages of the instigators?
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Country Kids 10:16 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Hmmm, are they like this only when there are others in the house?

My kids start going crazy when someone comes over - but they get a very stern warning and they usually behave. If not, they are put in a corner in the front entrance - unable to see or showoff for the company so they will smarten up.

And yes, ages of the instigators?
Yes, only when others are here!

I sternly tell them what is expected each and every time. I have no where to put the whole group seperately.
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countrymom 10:27 AM 11-06-2012
yes you do, time for a pnp and chairs. I have found that I make them sit in chairs and not move and I use my meanest voice, they all know i mean business. For the really bad ones, its time for a pnp.You can also use highchairs too.
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momofsix 10:37 AM 11-06-2012
I think your group has just gotten too out of control. They KNOW there's nothing you can do. Not anything that's your fault, it's just the way it is. If they don't listen to your firm voice, or even to your husband it's going to be tough to change them. It's hard because it sounds like a group mentality of not listening/going wild-not just one of two kids which would be easier to control.
I can't remember how your philosophy meshed (or not) with Nanny D's, but I wonder what she would tell you? It might be worth calling her up for a consult! There are others on this board that have done it and swear by the results of following what she says.
Worth a try if you're willing

Sorry your visit didn't go well.
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Heidi 10:54 AM 11-06-2012
So...they only do it when visitors come, and you always give them a stern lecture first?

Maybe don't say anything...???

I'm thinking of my friend years ago whose child, at 5, was highly gifted. Talked a blue streak, could read and write quite a bit, etc. (his IQ was later determined to be 155-160)

Before kindergarten "screening", she layed down the law with "this is important" and "you need to behave" and "do your best". etc.

He would not talk to the screeners at all and failed the screening. They recommended he wait a year!
She had him rescreened a week later, and because he was no longer all wound up with warnings (and he knew what to expect, I'm guessing), he did amazing.

Yeah...so I wonder if your giving them a "big talk" every time is what triggers the behavior. I'm not blaming you, just trying to help you find the catalyst.

If I had company comming at nap time, the last thing I would do is tell the children anything. I would put them to bed as usual, and make sure my company comes at least a half hour into nap time, when the kiddos were in lala land already.
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Heidi 10:56 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
yes you do, time for a pnp and chairs. I have found that I make them sit in chairs and not move and I use my meanest voice, they all know i mean business. For the really bad ones, its time for a pnp.You can also use highchairs too.
Putting a 3 or 4 year old in a pnp here would not be ok. If they can climb out, it's pointless. If they can't, it's confinement and against regs.

The chair would be ok, unless they were strapped in, then it's confinement again. It doesn't sound like Country's kids would even stay on a chair, though.
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Country Kids 10:57 AM 11-06-2012
Thanks everyone for listening and offering suggestions!

My parents really don't fool around with behavior and spank. So I think these kids have figured this out very quickly that I will just give them a time out. It doesn't matter to them to do some time because they know they will get out.

It will be fine as long as no one stops in!
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littlemissmuffet 11:01 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Thanks everyone for listening and offering suggestions!

My parents really don't fool around with behavior and spank. So I think these kids have figured this out very quickly that I will just give them a time out. It doesn't matter to them to do some time because they know they will get out.

It will be fine as long as no one stops in!
In this case, then I WOULD definitely involve the parents and invite them to see how their children behave when company is present.

I'm sorry you have this issue, but at least it's only when visitors are present... some providers have kids like this all day long. Yikes!
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Country Kids 11:02 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by Heidi:
So...they only do it when visitors come, and you always give them a stern lecture first?

Maybe don't say anything...???

I'm thinking of my friend years ago whose child, at 5, was highly gifted. Talked a blue streak, could read and write quite a bit, etc. (his IQ was later determined to be 155-160)

Before kindergarten "screening", she layed down the law with "this is important" and "you need to behave" and "do your best". etc.

He would not talk to the screeners at all and failed the screening. They recommended he wait a year!
She had him rescreened a week later, and because he was no longer all wound up with warnings (and he knew what to expect, I'm guessing), he did amazing.

Yeah...so I wonder if your giving them a "big talk" every time is what triggers the behavior. I'm not blaming you, just trying to help you find the catalyst.

If I had company comming at nap time, the last thing I would do is tell the children anything. I would put them to bed as usual, and make sure my company comes at least a half hour into nap time, when the kiddos were in lala land already.
I have tried the not saying anything-total fail also

When I have a unannounced visit from the food program or a parent that may stop in for an early pickup, I never am able to warn the kids. They are just as wild as with a warning.

Company came an hour into naptime and it was the day no one decided to sleep but two and one of them was woke up by another one. I was using my very, very firm voice when the started acting up.
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Heidi 11:02 AM 11-06-2012
In general, Country, do they all nap ok now?

If not, I say nap time doesn't start until EVERYONE IS QUIET. Then, you start the timer...something tangible they can see, like an egg timer or a fun ringtone on your cellphone. "I will start the timer when everyone is quiet. Then, when you hear the song, naptime is over".

These are not toddlers, they can understand some cause-and-affect.

It may also be time to take away privileges for those who disrupt others. Like, a fun activity after nap, but those children who were being loud during nap loose the privilege of .......again, at 3 and 4, they should be able to get that.
"Ok, guys, today after nap, we are going to play a fun game with M&M's. Whoever does a good job at nap gets to participate".

Some of my kids have liked taking a book to bed with them. If they are quiet, they can lay and read (and then fall asleep anyway). If they are not, then I take the book. "You are being loud, so you have lost the privilege of having a book at nap".
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Heidi 11:07 AM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I have tried the not saying anything-total fail also

When I have a unannounced visit from the food program or a parent that may stop in for an early pickup, I never am able to warn the kids. They are just as wild as with a warning.

Company came an hour into naptime and it was the day no one decided to sleep but two and one of them was woke up by another one. I was using my very, very firm voice when the started acting up.
How many do you have again?

Is one usually the instigator? If so...he just lost the privilege of sleeping near his friends for a week. "we can try again Monday".

I would have them all in opposite corners of the room to begin with, very dark, lights out, curtains closed. A book or stuffed animal, like I said in my pp.

You mess around...you go elsewhere the at the first warning. I would not even go to the "firm voice". I would be matter-of-fact. "Well, honey, looks like you are going to sleep in the hallway today. You are not making a good choice".

If that's not an option, or trouble still brews, then I'd go to the loosing privileges....
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countrymom 11:38 AM 11-06-2012
i'm wondering if you had a family member stop by every week so when you have an unannounced visit maybe they won't be so crazy. My sis use to come once a week and I would tell them and prepare them for her visit.
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