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Unregistered 09:24 AM 08-12-2011
I am new to this daycare thing, but I have a serious problem I need help with. A family with 3 kids had 400 in past due charges, 1425 in current charges, so total $1825 they owe me. I had my substitute watch all my kids when I had a root canal done, and when I got home it was late and everyone was gone(on a Friday). Then on Sunday night my sub facebook messaged me and told me about all the horrible things the above mentioned family's oldest daughter did the day I was gone. She is 10 years old, and should know better, but she called another girl some horrible names and made her cry, bossed around my substitute and told her she was doing everything wrong, and kicked a door and put a big dent in it. So during that message conversation, I told my substitute, in these exact words:
"I know, she is such a little bitch"
and
"don't worry, they will have their asses handed to them in the morning"

Which I know were not appropriate, but I was exhausted and fuming mad about being told all of this. Anyway, the 10 year old at some point Monday snuck into my office, turned on my computer, and logged into my facebook account while I was finishing feeding the toddlers lunch and she was supposed to be watching a movie with the other older kids. She called her mom, told her everything that the message said, and an hour later the mom showed up at my door, took her kids, and screamed at me(in front of all the other kids in my care) that I can't get away with calling HER daughter a bitch. I was confused until I figured out that the girl had logged onto my facebook, because I have NEVER used a foul word around any children.
So this week I sent a certified letter letting her know her charges, along with fees for 2 weeks because she didn't give me a notice, which is stated in my contract. She was very angry that I was charging her over $500 just for that, so she just called my surveyor and reported me that had called her daughter a bitch and threatened her children.

What do I do? I don't feel like I did anything wrong, or put any children in danger. I was venting to a friend, and hasn't everyone done that on facebook occasionally? Am I at fault? Should I be worried about my daycare license?
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nannyde 09:57 AM 08-12-2011
I think the licensor issue is going to be that the child had access to adult conversations and your computer without having supervision. We have to supervise the kids at all times.

Whatever you have accessible to them has to be appropriate. What the child had access to was adult conversations that happened to be about her. The parent may be angry about the content of it but in reality it's the access to it that will most likely be your biggest problem.

School aged children need constant visual proximal supervision at all times. IMHO They are the most dangerous group and have the highest liklihood to cause the most serious issues in your business. When you look at all the kids in your care... do not overlook that this child, at the age of ten, needs an adult with her EVERY second she is in care.

What happened to you is a perfect example of the kind of danger in having a school aged kid unsupervised.

If these issues occured when you were gone then you also have to look at "is it possible to even leave these kids in someone else's care?" The ten year olds behavior is a clear indication that the adults caring for her MUST be able to handle her. If she has had bad behavior in the past... you have to really THINK about whether or not your business can sustain a substitute caring for her.

Whenever there is LARGE amounts of money involved... it won't take much to blow up a situation. When you let someone get into debt like that you are definitely going to have huge problems. It's always in the parents best interest to call licensing when they owe money. It's a good lesson to NEVER allow anyone to get behind. It's too risky both money wise... but most of all... blow out wise. You are guarnteed to have power issues with them when you are providing services to someone who is SO far in debt. They know they have a LOT of power because of what they owe you. You are more likely to tolerate really bad parent and child behavior in the chase for past due money.
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countrymom 10:19 AM 08-12-2011
your first mistake was that you let them get way too far behind on payment
second, how did this girl log into your account and how did she know that the conversation was about her, and how did she call her mother, there seems to be way too much lapse of time here.
you do have your helper to verify your story, so that will is a good thing, by telling your supervisor what kind of children these are will help you too.
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LittleD 10:29 AM 08-12-2011
Was this in private messages, or directly on your wall?
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Crystal 10:54 AM 08-12-2011
I find this whole OP to be suspect. Really, just how does a ten year old get your login info, etc?
But, I'll play along.

All your fault. Honestly.

1. The child was left unsupervised, long enough to go unseen logging onto your computer.....it is your job to supervise the children.
2. The money situation never should have gotten so far.
3. YOU, an ADULT, called a TEN YEAR OLD a BITCH.....certainly she shouldn't have been on your computer logging into your FB account (again, your fault) But, knowing you called her that makes me wonder and worry about your working with children at all.

The parent has every right to be agry, to remove her child and IMO not pay you a cent for her notice. Honestly, I don't think you should even pursue the other fees. And, if it were my kid, you'd be the one having your ass handed to you.
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Unregistered 11:21 AM 08-12-2011
I'm not really going to try and defend myself, but I am a generally good person and try to supervise every child as best I can. But I'm only human. I parked the 4 school age children on the couch around the corner from my kitchen, so no they were not in my direct eye-sight, but I started a movie they loved and I heard them chatting, so I didn't assume anything was wrong. The 10 year old has a facebook account, so she knows how they work. And my browser is Google Chrome, which uses auto-fill when you have a login page for any site.
As for calling the girl a naughty name, I am ashamed of myself, but I can honestly not think of a single person that hasn't had a lapse in judgement out of frustration. I did apologize profusely, I am so sad that the girl saw it. I treat every child with kindness and respect all the time, but that night I was so angry hearing about all the problems(not a great excuse).
I am so upset that my privacy was breached, and it just shows how disrespectful and conniving this girl is, so I don't think my name-calling was that far off the mark.
She was only $400 behind...the rest of the charges were current. She has 3 kids, and in a 5 week month that's how much the charges were. I don't think I'm out of line charging the late fees and 2 week notice fee, am I? She signed the contract that clearly stated both of those terms.
But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.
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sharlan 12:41 PM 08-12-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I find this whole OP to be suspect. Really, just how does a ten year old get your login info, etc?
But, I'll play along.

All your fault. Honestly.

1. The child was left unsupervised, long enough to go unseen logging onto your computer.....it is your job to supervise the children.
2. The money situation never should have gotten so far.
3. YOU, an ADULT, called a TEN YEAR OLD a BITCH.....certainly she shouldn't have been on your computer logging into your FB account (again, your fault) But, knowing you called her that makes me wonder and worry about your working with children at all.

The parent has every right to be agry, to remove her child and IMO not pay you a cent for her notice. Honestly, I don't think you should even pursue the other fees. And, if it were my kid, you'd be the one having your ass handed to you.

I totally agree with you.
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Unregistered 10:45 AM 08-12-2011
I agree your first mistake was watching the children after a week or two went by. Secondly its not anyones business what you did on facebook, and most importantly I would have told the mom you never said anything to her child. And I would make that point very clear, and again doesn't matter if the child read your stuff online, thats your personal opinion to someone else. Thats what I would reinforce to anyone, and what I got from your post; and the main issue should be getting money from them. Understand since she is a deadbeat she will USE this issue to avoid payment. *I would send them a second certified letter that if they don't pay by a certain amount of time you will take legal action and file a claim at the civil court whereby they could even be garnish.

Furthermore, you might consider changing you daycare, I personally won't care for children over 4 and only do f/t no before or after school. Also, I would screen the parents and the children much better, and make sure you lock your office and probably in general you need to make changes.
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sharlan 12:39 PM 08-12-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I agree your first mistake was watching the children after a week or two went by. Secondly its not anyones business what you did on facebook, and most importantly I would have told the mom you never said anything to her child. And I would make that point very clear, and again doesn't matter if the child read your stuff online, thats your personal opinion to someone else. Thats what I would reinforce to anyone, and what I got from your post; and the main issue should be getting money from them. Understand since she is a deadbeat she will USE this issue to avoid payment. *I would send them a second certified letter that if they don't pay by a certain amount of time you will take legal action and file a claim at the civil court whereby they could even be garnish.

Furthermore, you might consider changing you daycare, I personally won't care for children over 4 and only do f/t no before or after school. Also, I would screen the parents and the children much better, and make sure you lock your office and probably in general you need to make changes.
You will find out that is not true. Many people have been fired for what they posted on facebook or other social networks. NEVER, NEVER put ANYTHING in writing that you don't want others to read.
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Tags:internet, internet safety, provider responsibility, supervision - active vs. passive, supervision - inadequate
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