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  #1  
Old 08-12-2011, 10:24 AM
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I am new to this daycare thing, but I have a serious problem I need help with. A family with 3 kids had 400 in past due charges, 1425 in current charges, so total $1825 they owe me. I had my substitute watch all my kids when I had a root canal done, and when I got home it was late and everyone was gone(on a Friday). Then on Sunday night my sub facebook messaged me and told me about all the horrible things the above mentioned family's oldest daughter did the day I was gone. She is 10 years old, and should know better, but she called another girl some horrible names and made her cry, bossed around my substitute and told her she was doing everything wrong, and kicked a door and put a big dent in it. So during that message conversation, I told my substitute, in these exact words:
"I know, she is such a little bitch"
and
"don't worry, they will have their asses handed to them in the morning"

Which I know were not appropriate, but I was exhausted and fuming mad about being told all of this. Anyway, the 10 year old at some point Monday snuck into my office, turned on my computer, and logged into my facebook account while I was finishing feeding the toddlers lunch and she was supposed to be watching a movie with the other older kids. She called her mom, told her everything that the message said, and an hour later the mom showed up at my door, took her kids, and screamed at me(in front of all the other kids in my care) that I can't get away with calling HER daughter a bitch. I was confused until I figured out that the girl had logged onto my facebook, because I have NEVER used a foul word around any children.
So this week I sent a certified letter letting her know her charges, along with fees for 2 weeks because she didn't give me a notice, which is stated in my contract. She was very angry that I was charging her over $500 just for that, so she just called my surveyor and reported me that had called her daughter a bitch and threatened her children.

What do I do? I don't feel like I did anything wrong, or put any children in danger. I was venting to a friend, and hasn't everyone done that on facebook occasionally? Am I at fault? Should I be worried about my daycare license?
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  #2  
Old 08-12-2011, 10:57 AM
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I think the licensor issue is going to be that the child had access to adult conversations and your computer without having supervision. We have to supervise the kids at all times.

Whatever you have accessible to them has to be appropriate. What the child had access to was adult conversations that happened to be about her. The parent may be angry about the content of it but in reality it's the access to it that will most likely be your biggest problem.

School aged children need constant visual proximal supervision at all times. IMHO They are the most dangerous group and have the highest liklihood to cause the most serious issues in your business. When you look at all the kids in your care... do not overlook that this child, at the age of ten, needs an adult with her EVERY second she is in care.

What happened to you is a perfect example of the kind of danger in having a school aged kid unsupervised.

If these issues occured when you were gone then you also have to look at "is it possible to even leave these kids in someone else's care?" The ten year olds behavior is a clear indication that the adults caring for her MUST be able to handle her. If she has had bad behavior in the past... you have to really THINK about whether or not your business can sustain a substitute caring for her.

Whenever there is LARGE amounts of money involved... it won't take much to blow up a situation. When you let someone get into debt like that you are definitely going to have huge problems. It's always in the parents best interest to call licensing when they owe money. It's a good lesson to NEVER allow anyone to get behind. It's too risky both money wise... but most of all... blow out wise. You are guarnteed to have power issues with them when you are providing services to someone who is SO far in debt. They know they have a LOT of power because of what they owe you. You are more likely to tolerate really bad parent and child behavior in the chase for past due money.
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  #3  
Old 08-12-2011, 11:19 AM
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your first mistake was that you let them get way too far behind on payment
second, how did this girl log into your account and how did she know that the conversation was about her, and how did she call her mother, there seems to be way too much lapse of time here.
you do have your helper to verify your story, so that will is a good thing, by telling your supervisor what kind of children these are will help you too.
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  #4  
Old 08-12-2011, 11:29 AM
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Was this in private messages, or directly on your wall?
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  #5  
Old 08-12-2011, 11:45 AM
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I agree your first mistake was watching the children after a week or two went by. Secondly its not anyones business what you did on facebook, and most importantly I would have told the mom you never said anything to her child. And I would make that point very clear, and again doesn't matter if the child read your stuff online, thats your personal opinion to someone else. Thats what I would reinforce to anyone, and what I got from your post; and the main issue should be getting money from them. Understand since she is a deadbeat she will USE this issue to avoid payment. *I would send them a second certified letter that if they don't pay by a certain amount of time you will take legal action and file a claim at the civil court whereby they could even be garnish.

Furthermore, you might consider changing you daycare, I personally won't care for children over 4 and only do f/t no before or after school. Also, I would screen the parents and the children much better, and make sure you lock your office and probably in general you need to make changes.
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  #6  
Old 08-12-2011, 11:54 AM
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I find this whole OP to be suspect. Really, just how does a ten year old get your login info, etc?
But, I'll play along.

All your fault. Honestly.

1. The child was left unsupervised, long enough to go unseen logging onto your computer.....it is your job to supervise the children.
2. The money situation never should have gotten so far.
3. YOU, an ADULT, called a TEN YEAR OLD a BITCH.....certainly she shouldn't have been on your computer logging into your FB account (again, your fault) But, knowing you called her that makes me wonder and worry about your working with children at all.

The parent has every right to be agry, to remove her child and IMO not pay you a cent for her notice. Honestly, I don't think you should even pursue the other fees. And, if it were my kid, you'd be the one having your ass handed to you.
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  #7  
Old 08-12-2011, 12:21 PM
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I'm not really going to try and defend myself, but I am a generally good person and try to supervise every child as best I can. But I'm only human. I parked the 4 school age children on the couch around the corner from my kitchen, so no they were not in my direct eye-sight, but I started a movie they loved and I heard them chatting, so I didn't assume anything was wrong. The 10 year old has a facebook account, so she knows how they work. And my browser is Google Chrome, which uses auto-fill when you have a login page for any site.
As for calling the girl a naughty name, I am ashamed of myself, but I can honestly not think of a single person that hasn't had a lapse in judgement out of frustration. I did apologize profusely, I am so sad that the girl saw it. I treat every child with kindness and respect all the time, but that night I was so angry hearing about all the problems(not a great excuse).
I am so upset that my privacy was breached, and it just shows how disrespectful and conniving this girl is, so I don't think my name-calling was that far off the mark.
She was only $400 behind...the rest of the charges were current. She has 3 kids, and in a 5 week month that's how much the charges were. I don't think I'm out of line charging the late fees and 2 week notice fee, am I? She signed the contract that clearly stated both of those terms.
But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.
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  #8  
Old 08-12-2011, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.
DCM is going to bank on the fact that her child was left unsupervised. If she was properly supervised she wouldn't have gotten into your FB. And you wouldn't be here today. That's what the DCM is going to stick to because that's the only thread she has. That's an issue alltogether different than the payment issue.

The issue with DCM about getting you shut down is going to be with licensing. The issue with the money is civil. If you lose the argument with licensing you could still win civily and vise versa. I'm not sure what she's going to "claim" when she makes a complaint but your best hope is that she makes false accusations on top of the whole calling her daughter a foul name and her not being properly supervised and she's found out. Hopefully you can point out that although you've had ill personal feelings towards her daughter that you've always kept it proffesional and hid your feelings. If DCM was aware of how you felt towards her daughter then why would she all of a sudden act shocked and not pull her out immediately as soon as she first found out. If she lies on one thing, she'll lie on other things as well.

Be honest if you are investigated. No one was hurt so if anything you can hope that you'll get a citation but that's all. You'll probably be on licensing's "radar" for a while and may be frequently visited for the "unsupervised" thing but at least you won't get shut-down.

That's my opinion anyway. I don't think that it's anything to be shut-down over but I do think you could be receiving a serious violation. Any one else?

PS: KEEP THE VOICEMAIL and any other form of written communication that she makes with you. If she calls you before you let her say anything and before you talk about anything, tell her the call is being recorded (but I recommend screening her calls and not answering them, let them go to voicemail) and keep a written log of any communication that she makes with you.
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  #9  
Old 08-12-2011, 01:02 PM
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did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked?
Leaving my personal opinion out of it. It depends on what State you are in.

I would be shut down pending full investigation once it was proven the 10 year old was left unsupervised while in my care. (that is a given in their eyes since she was able to read your private materials & call her mother, who then called in a report)

The whole thing would be posted on the State website for the general public to see, under my full name complete with street address and phone number, permanently.

Even if I was found to be compliant after attending whatever mandatory classes they would require of me PLUS whatever fee I would be required to pay, it would stay on my record, permanently.
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  #10  
Old 08-12-2011, 01:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I'm not really going to try and defend myself, but I am a generally good person and try to supervise every child as best I can. But I'm only human. I parked the 4 school age children on the couch around the corner from my kitchen, so no they were not in my direct eye-sight, but I started a movie they loved and I heard them chatting, so I didn't assume anything was wrong. The 10 year old has a facebook account, so she knows how they work. And my browser is Google Chrome, which uses auto-fill when you have a login page for any site.
As for calling the girl a naughty name, I am ashamed of myself, but I can honestly not think of a single person that hasn't had a lapse in judgement out of frustration. I did apologize profusely, I am so sad that the girl saw it. I treat every child with kindness and respect all the time, but that night I was so angry hearing about all the problems(not a great excuse).
I am so upset that my privacy was breached, and it just shows how disrespectful and conniving this girl is, so I don't think my name-calling was that far off the mark.
She was only $400 behind...the rest of the charges were current. She has 3 kids, and in a 5 week month that's how much the charges were. I don't think I'm out of line charging the late fees and 2 week notice fee, am I? She signed the contract that clearly stated both of those terms.
But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.
No, they wouldn't shut your daycare down or revoked your license. There are many parents really want daycare shut down because they are angry, making up, owe money, etc... I don't think they have anything proof that you wrote on facebook. I would delete the message that you wrote on your facebook. All you can tell license the truth and they might will write you up or whatever reason. I recommend to lock your computer that no one can access your computer without your permission or unsupervised so it won't happen in the future.
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Old 08-12-2011, 01:20 PM
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You WILL get a licensing visit, I am sure. You will probably get written up on supervision issues. However...it is hard for them to shut people down completely. That usually happens with ongoing verified problems.

We had a provider here in my town who duct taped a 3 year old to a pipe in her laundry room and her licensor showed up to do an inspection. She kept her license She got written up, but kept her license. I would have thought that was grounds for instantly revoking her license...but it wasn't.

I would call your licensor. Have her come to your home and sit her down and tell her EXACTLY what happened. Be honest and admit you made a mistake. I think this would go a long way in convincing her that this is not a matter she has to be worried about you repeating. Do not wait! I can pretty much bet on it, that the parents has already called and most likely embellished. Don't wait until licensing show up on the doorstep.

Tell them they are welcome in your day care. Admit you made a mistake (albeit a big one!)

Good luck and hopefully a lesson learned.
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  #12  
Old 08-12-2011, 01:22 PM
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This child not only had access to a computer that had adult content on it but had access to a phone to call her mom?!

And what were you doing exactly???
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  #13  
Old 08-12-2011, 01:30 PM
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Reading your post, she is 10 and that is not a age you have to be right on top of her. You could have gone to the bathroom and she could have done that. She could be working on the computer and could have happened. I think your mistake was apologizing because you are taking blame for which I don't think there's any guilt on your part. If it was in private, you are allowed to call her what you want, actually I think you were being kind! You are right she breached your privacy, and what you tell your friends in private is not the child, mother or anyones business. Clearly there are problems with the child and mother, and your best best is standing your ground with this lady and let the inspector know they have been trouble and you believe this is more to do with not paying for services that you DID RENDER. Just make sure you documented everything, and get tough.

You won't lose your license, you had a bad parent/child with money issues who you probably should have let go right away. That was probably the first mistake, however she owes you for services and doesn't matter if the mother is mad because the truth hurt. A decent mother would have really punished the child for hacking into your account, thats whats really scarey and she's not even a teen! So good luck and please don't apologize!
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Old 08-12-2011, 01:39 PM
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I agree your first mistake was watching the children after a week or two went by. Secondly its not anyones business what you did on facebook, and most importantly I would have told the mom you never said anything to her child. And I would make that point very clear, and again doesn't matter if the child read your stuff online, thats your personal opinion to someone else. Thats what I would reinforce to anyone, and what I got from your post; and the main issue should be getting money from them. Understand since she is a deadbeat she will USE this issue to avoid payment. *I would send them a second certified letter that if they don't pay by a certain amount of time you will take legal action and file a claim at the civil court whereby they could even be garnish.

Furthermore, you might consider changing you daycare, I personally won't care for children over 4 and only do f/t no before or after school. Also, I would screen the parents and the children much better, and make sure you lock your office and probably in general you need to make changes.
You will find out that is not true. Many people have been fired for what they posted on facebook or other social networks. NEVER, NEVER put ANYTHING in writing that you don't want others to read.
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Old 08-12-2011, 01:40 PM
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Thank you all, that is sort of what I was expecting. The computer was shut OFF, so I don't really consider that making adult content accessible. It happened during the time when I was cleaning up from lunch in the kitchen and putting the toddlers down for a nap in the other room. And the 10 year old girl has a cell phone that she is allowed to call and text on all day long.
With the surveyor, I want to be up front of course, I don't feel like I have anything to hide. My error was human, and my intentions were completely innocent. But should I call her now, wait until she contacts me, write her an email explaining what happened, or just wait and see what happens?
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Old 08-12-2011, 01:41 PM
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I find this whole OP to be suspect. Really, just how does a ten year old get your login info, etc?
But, I'll play along.

All your fault. Honestly.

1. The child was left unsupervised, long enough to go unseen logging onto your computer.....it is your job to supervise the children.
2. The money situation never should have gotten so far.
3. YOU, an ADULT, called a TEN YEAR OLD a BITCH.....certainly she shouldn't have been on your computer logging into your FB account (again, your fault) But, knowing you called her that makes me wonder and worry about your working with children at all.

The parent has every right to be agry, to remove her child and IMO not pay you a cent for her notice. Honestly, I don't think you should even pursue the other fees. And, if it were my kid, you'd be the one having your ass handed to you.

I totally agree with you.
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Old 08-12-2011, 01:42 PM
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But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.
Yes you did do something wrong. This, I'm sure is a very basic regulation, and I'm going to quote it as it is written for my area:

Harmful actions not permitted:

A licensee must ensure that child, while under the care of supervision of the licensee, is not subjected to any of the following ...

....

(c) harsh, belittling or degrading treatment by an employee or another child, whether verbal, emotional or physical, that could humiliate the child or undermind the child's self respect;

....

Guess what your comments did.
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Old 08-12-2011, 02:12 PM
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Reading your post, she is 10 and that is not a age you have to be right on top of her.
This kind of thinking is what lands a provider in a BAD deal with school aged kids.

They DO need constant supervision. These aren't kids of the sixties or seventies that go outside and ride bikes all day... play kick the can... and get a drink out of the hose. These are kids that have their own cell phone and text all day at the age of TEN. These are kids who CAN easily get into adult content when the adult is busy minding the little ones.

This HAPPENED. It's real life.

We need to wake up and realize that this generation of school agers can be DANGEROUS and completely ruin a child care business... your LIVLIHOOD in one day while you are putting a couple of kids down for a nap.
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Old 08-12-2011, 02:24 PM
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Thank you all, that is sort of what I was expecting. The computer was shut OFF, so I don't really consider that making adult content accessible. It happened during the time when I was cleaning up from lunch in the kitchen and putting the toddlers down for a nap in the other room. And the 10 year old girl has a cell phone that she is allowed to call and text on all day long.
With the surveyor, I want to be up front of course, I don't feel like I have anything to hide. My error was human, and my intentions were completely innocent. But should I call her now, wait until she contacts me, write her an email explaining what happened, or just wait and see what happens?

You are right it was not accessible, but hopefully the 10 year old learns to respect the privacy of others since she didn't get that at home.

I would email as a fyi to let them know you have a disgruntled parent, and ignore the negative comments; could have happened to anyone here. No one foresee's a ten year old getting into your account. Even if you saw her leave the couch you could have just thought she went to the bathroom. You're talking about a 10 year old, lol!
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:33 PM
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So, the computer was OFF? The amount of time it takes for a computer to be turned on, boot, have the internet accessed, log on to a FB account, read private messages, call mom is far to much time for you to not have checked on the children..............no matter their ages, no matter what you had them doing and no matter what you were doing.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:33 PM
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You are right it was not accessible, but hopefully the 10 year old learns to respect the privacy of others since she didn't get that at home.

I would email as a fyi to let them know you have a disgruntled parent, and ignore the negative comments; could have happened to anyone here. No one foresee's a ten year old getting into your account. Even if you saw her leave the couch you could have just thought she went to the bathroom. You're talking about a 10 year old, lol!
No, it could not have happened to anyone here. It could not and would not happen to me.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:35 PM
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I'm sorry that you're in the predicament that you're in right now. I just wanted to start off by telling you that.

You couldn't have anticipated that a 10 year old would do something like log into your facebook especially with the computer turned off. I wouldn't have considered that a child that old would do something like that! I think that the 10 year old behaved in a way that I would expect from a 2 year old! It sounds like the 10 year old has major impulse control issues and she seems like a sneaky kid as well. You'll be much better off without that family in your life.

I don't think that you'll get shut down or have your license revoked because of the situation. If you get a visit from a licensing agent, just have all of your ducks in a row. Make sure that you have the information regarding the amount that the family owes to you and make sure that the dates for the past due amount are noted. At least you will be able to show the licensing agent that the parent owes you money and that the parent might be looking for a way out of paying the money.

Do you have your facebook password remembered? If you do, then you might want to change it so that your password isn't remembered.

I'm not going to give you a hard time about what you wrote about the kid because you didn't say it to the child nor did you say it within the child's range of hearing. In fact, it sounds like you didn't say it at all! You wrote it to someone else and it was your facebook account. You were angry and frustrated and you made a remark that was never meant to be heard (or read!) by the child. It sucks that the kid read it but she did and now you have to deal with the fall out from it. Unfortunately, there is really no way to explain why you made the remark about the child and smooth the situation over. You're probably not going to come out of this smelling like roses but I'm pretty sure you'll come out of it with your license intact and you'll have learned a valuable lesson from it. Just make sure that if you do get a visit from the state that you make sure to communicate the large amount of money that this family owed to you and make sure that you have documentation with regard to damages to your door. If you haven't already, save all communications with this family and ask your back up provider if she would be willing to give a statement about what happened the day that you were out. It's important to do your best to keep your emotions in check if you do recieve a visit from the state. It'll be hard, but it will be helpful to you to be as calm as possible.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:41 PM
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So, the computer was OFF? The amount of time it takes for a computer to be turned on, boot, have the internet accessed, log on to a FB account, read private messages, call mom is far to much time for you to not have checked on the children..............no matter their ages, no matter what you had them doing and no matter what you were doing.
Crystal~ I agree with your next post about it not happening to you because it wouldn't have happened here either but that being said, in my state school age children need only have a provider that is accessible to them should they need something. In otherwords, I am perfectly within my licensing rules to allow a 10 year old to go 5 blocks away and play at the park without me or another adult. Yes, alone. My rules say that the provider needs to be "available" to the child if they should need assistance or adult intervention.

I am NOT saying I agree with this rule, but we are allowed to let schoolers go off by themselves, with parental permission, as long as the schooler is aware of how to reach me and get assistance from me.

I do not take schoolers any more for this reason. Unlike the laws and rules saying they need less and less direct supervision as they age, I feel like Nannyde said, they actually require more supervision.

Supervision, liability and risks I am no longer willing to assume for the exact reason the OP is posting. I do not want to deal with all the "stuff" that comes a long with a 10 year old child who in this day and age is NOTHING like the 10 year old I was.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 08-12-2011 at 03:57 PM. Reason: spelling error
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:45 PM
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IMO, if a provider is aware that a child is difficult enough that she would call her a b****, then she KNOWS the child needs constant supervision.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:46 PM
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IMO, if a provider is aware that a child is difficult enough that she would call her a b****, then she KNOWS the child needs constant supervision.
so true.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:53 PM
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Crystal~ I agree with your next post about it not happening to you because it wouldn't have happened here either but that being said, in my state school age children need only have a provider that is accessibel to them should they need something. In otherwords, I am perfectly within my licensing rules to allow a 10 year old to go 5 blocks away and play at the park without me or another adult. Yes, alone. My rules say that the provider needs to be "available" to the child if they should need assistance or adult intervention.

I am NOT saying I agree with this rule, but we are allowed to let schoolers go off by themselves, with parental permission, as long as the schooler is aware of how to reach me and get assistance from me.

I do not take schoolers any more for this reason. Unlike the laws and rules saying they need less and less direct supervision as they age, I feel like Nannyde said, they actually require more supervision.

Supervision, liability and risks I am no longer willing to assume for the exact reason the OP is posting. I do not want to deal with all the "stuff" that comes a long with a 10 year old child who in this day and age is NOTHING like the 10 year old I was.


Good post, and Crystal is waay out of line and everyone who has done daycare for many years has made a mistake or two.

I agree with you, why would you want that liability. I only take small ones, I know where they are and I screen their parents well! We assume enough liability.
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Old 08-12-2011, 04:03 PM
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Tell me, unregistered, how am I out of line?

Am I out of line saying that the OP should be constantly supervising a child that she herself calls a b****. Am I out of line stating that anyone who works with children should not be calling them derogatory names and if they are maybe they need to reevaluate their choice of careers? Am I wrong in that the child was left unsupervised too long if she was able to boot, access internet, login to FB, read PM's, call her mom?

Forgive me, I guess all of those things are okay.
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Old 08-12-2011, 04:51 PM
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Tell me, unregistered, how am I out of line?

Am I out of line saying that the OP should be constantly supervising a child that she herself calls a b****. Am I out of line stating that anyone who works with children should not be calling them derogatory names and if they are maybe they need to reevaluate their choice of careers? Am I wrong in that the child was left unsupervised too long if she was able to boot, access internet, login to FB, read PM's, call her mom?

Forgive me, I guess all of those things are okay.
I've watched school aged kids for many years and never trust them to be left unsupervised. At this age they can be sneaky and I would have termed a child that exhibited such bad behavior issues...way too big a risk!

I agree with Crystal and cannot fathom how this child was able to do all of this. That is a lot to accomplish...it's not like the fb acct was left open and she had easy access to it!
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Old 08-12-2011, 08:02 PM
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the thing is, the discussion was taken place after daycare hours, and was between 2 adults and not the child. So what some of you saying is that "you never talk about a child, not even to your spouse" I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe, heck look at some of these posts on this site. Also, this could have happened if the provider went to the bathroom and why does this child have a phone and why is she texting all day. I would leave it be. This conversation took place after hours and it wasn't said to the girl, so what does licinsing have to do with it.
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Old 08-12-2011, 08:19 PM
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the thing is, the discussion was taken place after daycare hours, and was between 2 adults and not the child. So what some of you saying is that "you never talk about a child, not even to your spouse" I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe, heck look at some of these posts on this site. Also, this could have happened if the provider went to the bathroom and why does this child have a phone and why is she texting all day. I would leave it be. This conversation took place after hours and it wasn't said to the girl, so what does licinsing have to do with it.
I don't think the state will have a problem with what was said between two adults after hours. I think they will have a problem with the child having access to that conversation during hours.
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Old 08-12-2011, 10:01 PM
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Thank you all, that is sort of what I was expecting. The computer was shut OFF, so I don't really consider that making adult content accessible. It happened during the time when I was cleaning up from lunch in the kitchen and putting the toddlers down for a nap in the other room. And the 10 year old girl has a cell phone that she is allowed to call and text on all day long.
With the surveyor, I want to be up front of course, I don't feel like I have anything to hide. My error was human, and my intentions were completely innocent. But should I call her now, wait until she contacts me, write her an email explaining what happened, or just wait and see what happens?
Why the world you allowed this 10 year old girl have cell phone during your daycare hours?? She shouldn't have cell phone because she is not a teenager yet. I would never allowed anyone to bring the cell phone in my house whether parents like or not.

I wouldn't give my 10 years old and 9 years old to have cell phone at all because they don't need to be spoil! I taught my kids "respect."
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Old 08-12-2011, 10:20 PM
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All other aspects aside...password lock your computer. If you have Windows, go to Control Panel, User Accounts and set up and Administrative user with a password so that only you can log on to the computer. This works when booting it up and when it comes back from sleep/hibernation. Your whole problem would have been avoided.

Good luck.
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  #33  
Old 08-13-2011, 10:23 AM
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All other aspects aside...password lock your computer. If you have Windows, go to Control Panel, User Accounts and set up and Administrative user with a password so that only you can log on to the computer. This works when booting it up and when it comes back from sleep/hibernation. Your whole problem would have been avoided.

Good luck.
Good advice!
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  #34  
Old 08-13-2011, 11:15 AM
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I don't think the state will have a problem with what was said between two adults after hours. I think they will have a problem with the child having access to that conversation during hours.
I agree. However, like a pp said, not all states have requirements that say all children need to be within sight at all times. In my state, if a parent signs off, children age 7 and over can play on another level of the house, behind closed doors, even play outside without supervision. They must be checked on every 15 mins. That's long enough to boot my computer up, long onto FB, read a couple of messages. Should the provider have known this girl was not capable of being left unsupervised, yes. But if similar regs are in place, I doubt licensing can really do anything about it.

Something else bothers me about this whole situation. When does the child become responsible for entering an area that was off limits, turning on a piece of electronics that was off limits, and going on a website that was off limits? I would expect to have to lock doors to prevent a preschooler or toddler from entering my bedroom which is right off our play area. But a 10 year old? No I'm sorry. If this child was at school and she went into a teacher's room or desk, what would happen? Why should her consequences at home daycare be any different than that at a school or center? At 10 she'd be allowed to walk to the nurse or restroom alone at school and would have access to all sorts of things she shouldn't. But the expectation is that she would not do those things. I don't know why we has home daycare providers feel that we have to settle for less than stellar behavior from these kids just because we're in a HOME. My kids have the same rules everywhere they go. Don't touch things that aren't yours without permission, Please, Thank you & You're welcome, hold doors, wait your turn. These rules apply ALWAYS, not just in my house or at a store or at school. I don't think the content of what she saw negates her actions being completely wrong. Yet, what is she getting? Mean daycare lady said something mean so it doesn't matter what I did. SHE was the one who did wrong, not me.
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Old 08-13-2011, 11:24 AM
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Supervision, liability and risks I am no longer willing to assume for the exact reason the OP is posting. I do not want to deal with all the "stuff" that comes a long with a 10 year old child who in this day and age is NOTHING like the 10 year old I was.
Exactly why I don't take school-agers either. It's too much risk.

I agree with Crystal, it's not out of line. She's basing her opinions on what is required in her state. I live in CA just like her and if this situation were to have happened to me licensing would be looking at it exactly like she said.

And like Nan said, they'll probably focus more on the fact that the 10yo was left "unsupervised" and not really on the fact that she said something mean about the DCG. The comment wasn't made directly towards the child so I doubt that it can be considered verbal abuse. Without knowing where the OP is from and what the regulations are there it's difficult to say how harsh the punishment will be if any.
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  #36  
Old 08-14-2011, 07:03 PM
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Why the world you allowed this 10 year old girl have cell phone during your daycare hours?? She shouldn't have cell phone because she is not a teenager yet. I would never allowed anyone to bring the cell phone in my house whether parents like or not.

I wouldn't give my 10 years old and 9 years old to have cell phone at all because they don't need to be spoil! I taught my kids "respect."
My dd is 8 and has a cell phone...not because she is spoiled but because she is at gymnastics between 12 and 15 hours per week and I want her to be able to reach me...and I don't want to sit at gymnastics for three times per week for upwards of 4 hours each time. I also want her to be able to reach me without having to rely on somone to allow her to use the phone. My kids are taught respect too.

You are making way too big of assumptions on this one. You don't know why that parent felt that this child needed a phone. I could care less if my school aged daycare kids bring a phone here as long as the parents know I am not responsible if they loose it or it gets broken.
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  #37  
Old 08-14-2011, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted by MG&Lsmom View Post
I agree. However, like a pp said, not all states have requirements that say all children need to be within sight at all times. In my state, if a parent signs off, children age 7 and over can play on another level of the house, behind closed doors, even play outside without supervision. They must be checked on every 15 mins. That's long enough to boot my computer up, long onto FB, read a couple of messages. Should the provider have known this girl was not capable of being left unsupervised, yes. But if similar regs are in place, I doubt licensing can really do anything about it.

Something else bothers me about this whole situation. When does the child become responsible for entering an area that was off limits, turning on a piece of electronics that was off limits, and going on a website that was off limits? I would expect to have to lock doors to prevent a preschooler or toddler from entering my bedroom which is right off our play area. But a 10 year old? No I'm sorry. If this child was at school and she went into a teacher's room or desk, what would happen? Why should her consequences at home daycare be any different than that at a school or center? At 10 she'd be allowed to walk to the nurse or restroom alone at school and would have access to all sorts of things she shouldn't. But the expectation is that she would not do those things. I don't know why we has home daycare providers feel that we have to settle for less than stellar behavior from these kids just because we're in a HOME. My kids have the same rules everywhere they go. Don't touch things that aren't yours without permission, Please, Thank you & You're welcome, hold doors, wait your turn. These rules apply ALWAYS, not just in my house or at a store or at school. I don't think the content of what she saw negates her actions being completely wrong. Yet, what is she getting? Mean daycare lady said something mean so it doesn't matter what I did. SHE was the one who did wrong, not me.
I agree with you. BUT, the provider knows that the child is a problem child, so, as the adult child care provider, she never should have left the child alone long enough for this to happen. In all honesty, if you have a child that you know might one day put your business and your license in jeopardy, you quit providing services for said child so it is a non-issue. Forget about the money from this current client and think about future income that you won't recieve when said child messes everything up for you.
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  #38  
Old 08-15-2011, 12:40 AM
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Default OP you were completely inappropriate

on every level.

Close. DO not seek the fees. Get another job.

If you could even think, much less write such things about a child, you do not belong in this field.

If you insist you are a good provider, get some counseling about your anger and spend some time on your dialect. If you live in an area where it is 'ok' to call children names that I would consider profanity, I'm sorry. If I were this mom I would sue. Did the girl send a screen shot to her mom on the phone? Did she take a picture with her phone?

There is no excuse for ever even thinking such things about a child, in your own care or down the street.

The rest of you, seriously, how could you miss that?
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  #39  
Old 08-15-2011, 07:53 AM
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Did the girl send a screen shot to her mom on the phone? Did she take a picture with her phone?
Yes

If you allow cell phones in your day care by staff or children you must understand that they have a video recorder and camera. They can record images and sound. Once they have recorded it they can do as they please with it.

I would never allow a child to have a video recorder and camera in my home. I would also never allow a phone for texting or calling. The technology is getting cheaper and cheaper so the age of child who has one is getting younger. In the next five years it won't be unreasonable to have four to five year olds with them.

As far as calling the child the B word... well that's not a great thing to say about a little kid but is it enough to rock someones world when it's said between two adults in private? I don't think so.

The problem here is that even though legally this child may not have to have her own adult to supervise or direct visual supervision at all times... CLEARLY she really DOES need intense supervision every second AND all electronic/internet/recording devices removed.

Just because the law allows for something it doesn't mean it's sound business policy. My State allows a home child care to be completely full of state paid children but it's not a good business decision to offer that. It's low pay and it's an at risk population.

I think kids in child care over the age of five require constant visual proximal supervision IN the child care setting. I think they can do a significant amount of damage to your business and even your ability to care for kids pretty easily and pretty quickly. I think they are the highest level supervision care for birth to twelve.

I also think that the allowance to have kids outside and physically away from an adult supervising directly will go away bit by bit over the next five years or so. I don't think there are too many states that allow it and I'm sure there aren't too many insurance companies that would cover it. It will take some national news stories on kids tourching a building or shoving each other off of high fall zones and a kid getting killed or a broken neck to get it on the radar of ones who make licensing decisions.

I just can't see it gong on for too long.
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  #40  
Old 08-15-2011, 10:22 AM
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Why the world you allowed this 10 year old girl have cell phone during your daycare hours?? She shouldn't have cell phone because she is not a teenager yet. I would never allowed anyone to bring the cell phone in my house whether parents like or not.

I wouldn't give my 10 years old and 9 years old to have cell phone at all because they don't need to be spoil! I taught my kids "respect."
What's does respect have to do with cell phones? Or being spoiled for that matter? My 12 year old has been riding a public bus for the past year home from school and to dance classes so she has a cell phone so we can keep in touch with her. If keeping my child safe makes her spoiled then spoiled she is.

My stepdaughter has had a phone since she was 7...the day her mom and dad split up he got her a phone so they could talk and text whenever she wanted. Not only did it help her through the transition but it to this day keeps her from tying up her mom's phone.

Cell phone rant done.
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  #41  
Old 08-15-2011, 10:47 AM
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Default a child of 10, with a phone

May be left alone in some states, at home alone with parents at work.

I know this because a family I quit as a nanny took that option and CPS said they could.

The problem is the B word, the A word and the absolute disrespect for the child, who is a person (and obviously an angry one at that).
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  #42  
Old 08-15-2011, 10:56 AM
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Default So...

I guess that nobody here has ever had a bad day and made a mistake that they wish that they could take back?

I think that the OP could use a little bit of support right now instead of hearing from various posters over and over again about how she was totally out of line. She admitted that she messed up, so why all of the reminders?

OP, I hope that it all gets better for you soon!
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Old 08-15-2011, 01:33 PM
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May be left alone in some states, at home alone with parents at work.

I know this because a family I quit as a nanny took that option and CPS said they could.

The problem is the B word, the A word and the absolute disrespect for the child, who is a person (and obviously an angry one at that).

I'm thinking...reading these posts that you're the angry-rigid one. You told her to close right away, not seek fees....your world must get rocked a lot.
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