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  #1  
Old 01-08-2014, 11:17 AM
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Default Co-Sleeping, Stroller Sleeping, or Car Seat Sleeping

Okay. This needs to be said. IF YOU are a Stay at home parent...and never plan on returning to work or going away for the weekend or having a babysitter then don't bother reading further...

HOWEVER, If you have a baby and are going back to the workforce or plan on having babysitters, or family watch over your child PLEASE read!!

The Co-sleeping parenting or stroller sleeping or letting baby sleep in carseat, or holding/rocking baby during naps etc., will not work if you plan on having a life away from baby.

No daycare will ever let your child sleep in a carseat (babies have been known for having "flat head" for constantly sleeping in carseats, not to mention babies who have been choked by the straps of the carseat) or a stroller (strangulation, suffocation, or falling out of stroller etc...)

It is dangerous and your are LUCKY nothing has happened to your baby! Read your instruction manual for carseats and strollers if you want to challenge this. Sure you will find a section to confirm what I have just mentioned above.

As for Co-sleeping or holding/rocking baby during entire nap...Do you anticipate having a date night or going away for a romantic weekend with partner/spouse? Do you want to get your hair done, go grocery shopping ect, and/or have a family member watch over baby?? How realistic do you see your family and friends being willing care for your baby if they have to co-sleep with your child? or hold your 40lb baby while they nap for 2 hours...baby might be small now...but as we all know babies get bigger and bigger and bigger...and eventually they will be adults one day.

What about the staff at daycare centers and home daycare? Should they "Sleep" with your baby at nap time?? Think about it. Daycare staff are there to supervise during naps not "Sleep"! They also have a number of other children to "care" for, not to mention that quiet time is usually when daycare staff are scheduled to eat their lunch and/or time to rejuvenate themselves before everyone else wakes up!

To all parents who are refusing to teach their child how to sleep independently in a CRIB. Imagine how stressed babies are when you all of sudden you say "Okay baby...Mommy/Daddy are going to work now! So see you later and by the way...no more "stroller sleeping, car seat sleeping, or co-sleeping, or rocking baby in arms sleep" Seriously! It has to stop!

If you don't know how to teach your baby how to self sooth or sleep get help! There are a number resources/companies in your community that specialize in this. It will take probably a few sessions but your baby is smart and a fast learner! Soon your baby will be the best sleeper!

You will have some personal time as a couple again and if you are a single parent then that means you can ACTUALLY have some YOU time! WOW! wouldn't that be nice!

The greatest gift you can give your child as a parent is to help them learn skills to SELF SOOTH!

Few tips if you want to try on your own:
The second you see baby RUBBING eyes that is the first cue your baby is giving you that they are tired. Watch your baby. Record on paper for a few days when they do this. Do notice a pattern? This is what babies do...Babies will look down and start rubbing one or both eyes and start getting quiet. If you wait too much longer after this cue guess what...baby will be OVER tired and then you will have a much harder time getting them to sleep.
Make room a nice temperature (not to cold or hot!)
close blinds or have blackout blind. It is hard to sleep if you have lights shining on your eyes!
Definitely DON'T make house completely silent. It is okay to putter around house and make "gentle" noises. Don't be rude by banging pots and pans ect, but use common sense.
Babies cry. It is how they express themselves. Your job is to reassure them they are okay and then walk away, reassure them and then walk away ect., Does it take strength, confidence, and energy...you bet! but isn't your baby worth it?? Eventually your baby will understand you always come back but right now it is nap time. So sleep!
Read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems...it is one of my favorite books and trust me! It will walk you through all of the many cues babies give us. It will help you understand, support, love and nurture your babies needs without taking over!

Good Luck!
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:33 AM
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Does that mean parents shouldn't either a) drive around for 2 additional hours because baby is sleeping or b) even though they are at their destination, sit in the car for an additional 2 hours because baby is sleeping?

I have a parent who keeps asking me how I feel about CIO...I say what you do at home is what you do at home, but your baby crying because I will not hold/rock/nurse (joking!) him/her to sleep at 9 months....crying doesn't bother me. And baby falls asleep when baby is tired (at least this one does).
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:36 AM
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I guess I am in the minority because I do rock babies to sleep if it works for them. I stop around age 2.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:39 AM
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When I could, I have rocked babies to sleep & patted backs....when I could.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
I guess I am in the minority because I do rock babies to sleep if it works for them. I stop around age 2.
But for how long? 15 minutes? 4 hours? Who is meeting the other kids needs at this time?

We all love a cuddle... and a sit down. It simply is not practical for parents to expect us to have the ability.

I would love a job as a full-time daycare infant rocker...
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:49 AM
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My niece is going to be 4 and my sister still parks the car and waits while little one finishes a nap in the car. It always makes me laugh. It is freezing, boiling hot, or just plain uncomfortable to sit in a vehicle for an hour. sheesh.

however, I really dont care what other people do as long as it doesnt cause a disruption at daycare. I have had kids transition from co sleeping/rocking/holding at night to sleeping on their own at daycare. I co slept with all my babies but they nap on their own during the day. It is fine to do whatever you want to do at home but you need to be supportive of your provider once your child enters daycare. If your child is not happy and cooperative at daycare, you, the parent, need to solve this issue! with the teamwork of your provider. do not make your provider do it alone!

lastly, I agree that car seat, swing, stroller sleeping is really unsafe! I would thing the only exception would be if your stroller seat reclines flat AND your baby is not rolling or sitting up yet. in that case, it would basically be like sleeping in a bassinet.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:57 AM
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I don't rock. Don't get me wrong, I would love to. I don't even have very many dcks (legally non-registered in Iowa) compared to most of the providers here. But my rest time is my cleaning time, lunch time, and overall chill down time. All other times of the day I need to be available to all the children in my care, not just one child I am rocking.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
But for how long? 15 minutes? 4 hours? Who is meeting the other kids needs at this time?

We all love a cuddle... and a sit down. It simply is not practical for parents to expect us to have the ability.

I would love a job as a full-time daycare infant rocker...
Lol. I didn't mean that I hold them while they sleep...I haven't gotten that request yet (nor would I do it). I will rock a baby to sleep if they fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time (5-10 min.). If it is during naptime I simply save the babies for last (I only have 2 under the age of 2 at a time) and rock one while the other is in the swing or PNP. Then when the first one is asleep I rock the other one...and this is only if I have two that need it. I have cared for lots of babies that I could just lay down and say "night night!"

If it is for their morning nap, I make sure everyone is occupied during free play and I rock the baby to sleep. The babies always sleep wherever we are (playroom, living room, etc.) so they get used to napping through the noise of play very quickly and the other kids still have me as needed.

I don't mind doing it and it works for me. If a child needed to be rocked excessively to fall asleep I wouldn't consider that "working for them" as I said in my first post. It has to be effective for me to do it.
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Old 01-08-2014, 12:05 PM
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I don't rock them. I only have 2 and I actually LOVE seeing a baby fall asleep in my arms, but I'm not risking them getting used to it. What if I'm unable to rock them one day because something/someone needs my attention? And I'm not going to just do it every once in awhile... because then that's not consistent.
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Old 01-08-2014, 12:39 PM
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I love putting them to bed wide awake and seeing how long it takes for all of them to be out. Bout two to three minutes!
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Old 01-08-2014, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Babybear911 View Post
Okay. This needs to be said. IF YOU are a Stay at home parent...and never plan on returning to work or going away for the weekend or having a babysitter then don't bother reading further...

HOWEVER, If you have a baby and are going back to the workforce or plan on having babysitters, or family watch over your child PLEASE read!!

The Co-sleeping parenting or stroller sleeping or letting baby sleep in carseat, or holding/rocking baby during naps etc., will not work if you plan on having a life away from baby.

No daycare will ever let your child sleep in a carseat (babies have been known for having "flat head" for constantly sleeping in carseats, not to mention babies who have been choked by the straps of the carseat) or a stroller (strangulation, suffocation, or falling out of stroller etc...)

It is dangerous and your are LUCKY nothing has happened to your baby! Read your instruction manual for carseats and strollers if you want to challenge this. Sure you will find a section to confirm what I have just mentioned above.

As for Co-sleeping or holding/rocking baby during entire nap...Do you anticipate having a date night or going away for a romantic weekend with partner/spouse? Do you want to get your hair done, go grocery shopping ect, and/or have a family member watch over baby?? How realistic do you see your family and friends being willing care for your baby if they have to co-sleep with your child? or hold your 40lb baby while they nap for 2 hours...baby might be small now...but as we all know babies get bigger and bigger and bigger...and eventually they will be adults one day.

What about the staff at daycare centers and home daycare? Should they "Sleep" with your baby at nap time?? Think about it. Daycare staff are there to supervise during naps not "Sleep"! They also have a number of other children to "care" for, not to mention that quiet time is usually when daycare staff are scheduled to eat their lunch and/or time to rejuvenate themselves before everyone else wakes up!

To all parents who are refusing to teach their child how to sleep independently in a CRIB. Imagine how stressed babies are when you all of sudden you say "Okay baby...Mommy/Daddy are going to work now! So see you later and by the way...no more "stroller sleeping, car seat sleeping, or co-sleeping, or rocking baby in arms sleep" Seriously! It has to stop!

If you don't know how to teach your baby how to self sooth or sleep get help! There are a number resources/companies in your community that specialize in this. It will take probably a few sessions but your baby is smart and a fast learner! Soon your baby will be the best sleeper!

You will have some personal time as a couple again and if you are a single parent then that means you can ACTUALLY have some YOU time! WOW! wouldn't that be nice!

The greatest gift you can give your child as a parent is to help them learn skills to SELF SOOTH!

Few tips if you want to try on your own:
The second you see baby RUBBING eyes that is the first cue your baby is giving you that they are tired. Watch your baby. Record on paper for a few days when they do this. Do notice a pattern? This is what babies do...Babies will look down and start rubbing one or both eyes and start getting quiet. If you wait too much longer after this cue guess what...baby will be OVER tired and then you will have a much harder time getting them to sleep.
Make room a nice temperature (not to cold or hot!)
close blinds or have blackout blind. It is hard to sleep if you have lights shining on your eyes!
Definitely DON'T make house completely silent. It is okay to putter around house and make "gentle" noises. Don't be rude by banging pots and pans ect, but use common sense.
Babies cry. It is how they express themselves. Your job is to reassure them they are okay and then walk away, reassure them and then walk away ect., Does it take strength, confidence, and energy...you bet! but isn't your baby worth it?? Eventually your baby will understand you always come back but right now it is nap time. So sleep!
Read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems...it is one of my favorite books and trust me! It will walk you through all of the many cues babies give us. It will help you understand, support, love and nurture your babies needs without taking over!

Good Luck!
This is amazing and right on! I feel like banging my head against the wall every time I have to have this conversation with a first time parent!
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Old 01-08-2014, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
I guess I am in the minority because I do rock babies to sleep if it works for them. I stop around age 2.
I do as well. I will also wear them until it no longer works or they don't want to be worn. To each their own.
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Old 01-08-2014, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I love putting them to bed wide awake and seeing how long it takes for all of them to be out. Bout two to three minutes!
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Angelsj View Post
I do as well. I will also wear them until it no longer works or they don't want to be worn. To each their own.
I'm always interested in the concept of wearing babies that aren't your own in a group setting.

Can I ask a couple of questions? I've only heard about providers doing this in the last year or so and don't know anyone IRL to ask. I'm not against wearing... don't know a thing about it so PLEASE know this is a fishing expedition to understand it.

Are you having to take them in and out constantly? If they are front worn you would have to remove them away from diaper changes and any cooking you would do.

When you don't feel well do you keep them off of you until you know for sure you aren't getting sick?

Aren't you HOT when you wear them. I'm so hot blooded I can't imagine that part of it.

Have you ever consulted an ortho doc that specializes in repetitive motion injuries about the toll on your skeletal system over time? I wonder if an experienced veteran doc who makes his/her living off of fifty plus year olds would caution you about putting an extra ten/twenty pounds on your core day after day.

The reason I ask about your long term health is that I'm in my early fifties and am beginning to see the wear and tear from repetitive motion in this job. I have a pretty bad wrist from peeling and chopping. When I went all organic and fresh in my day care it REALLY escalated quickly.

I stand with my weight on my left foot and kick off a walk with my left foot. My left foot is killing me as we speak.

I worry that nature didn't build us to carry any babies other than our own. I know so many providers in their forties and fifties who are having significant health issues relating to how physical this job is. Back injuries are so common.

I just hope you are thinking about YOU and your future health and I'm being curious about how it really works infection control issues.
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I'm always interested in the concept of wearing babies that aren't your own in a group setting.

Can I ask a couple of questions? I've only heard about providers doing this in the last year or so and don't know anyone IRL to ask. I'm not against wearing... don't know a thing about it so PLEASE know this is a fishing expedition to understand it.

Are you having to take them in and out constantly? If they are front worn you would have to remove them away from diaper changes and any cooking you would do.

When you don't feel well do you keep them off of you until you know for sure you aren't getting sick?

Aren't you HOT when you wear them. I'm so hot blooded I can't imagine that part of it.

Have you ever consulted an ortho doc that specializes in repetitive motion injuries about the toll on your skeletal system over time? I wonder if an experienced veteran doc who makes his/her living off of fifty plus year olds would caution you about putting an extra ten/twenty pounds on your core day after day.

The reason I ask about your long term health is that I'm in my early fifties and am beginning to see the wear and tear from repetitive motion in this job. I have a pretty bad wrist from peeling and chopping. When I went all organic and fresh in my day care it REALLY escalated quickly.

I stand with my weight on my left foot and kick off a walk with my left foot. My left foot is killing me as we speak.

I worry that nature didn't build us to carry any babies other than our own. I know so many providers in their forties and fifties who are having significant health issues relating to how physical this job is. Back injuries are so common.

I just hope you are thinking about YOU and your future health and I'm being curious about how it really works infection control issues.
I know me personally this is why "baby wearing" has never worked for me with my own children, let alone someone else's! The few times I've tried it for longer than a walk I've ended up with some bad back pain (and I've used only the "best" carriers....Moby and Ergo). On top of that, the frequent putting them "on" and "off" I found to be too cumbersome. I guess I never really saw the benefit because I'm always in the kitchen cooking, cleaning or I'm in the bathroom changing diapers or I'm on the floor with the kids (perfect opportunity for tummy time!). None of these situations are really conducive to baby wearing IMO.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I'm always interested in the concept of wearing babies that aren't your own in a group setting.

Can I ask a couple of questions? I've only heard about providers doing this in the last year or so and don't know anyone IRL to ask. I'm not against wearing... don't know a thing about it so PLEASE know this is a fishing expedition to understand it.

Are you having to take them in and out constantly? No, I have no problem with this. I use a Maya wrap and find it quite easy if I do need to move them. I also do not necessarily have to take them out for food prep, as we don't always eat cooked food. With eight of my own, I also became adept at cooking while nursing, and you can keep your body between the danger and the baby. If they are front worn you would have to remove them away from diaper changes and any cooking you would do.

When you don't feel well do you keep them off of you until you know for sure you aren't getting sick? I get sick less than once a year, so not really an issue. I don't see this being any more an issue than simply holding the infant to feed them while sick. They are not on my face while being worn.

Aren't you HOT when you wear them. I'm so hot blooded I can't imagine that part of it. I am naturally cold blooded, so I like the extra clothing. And it has been -30 F here lately.

Have you ever consulted an ortho doc that specializes in repetitive motion injuries about the toll on your skeletal system over time? I wonder if an experienced veteran doc who makes his/her living off of fifty plus year olds would caution you about putting an extra ten/twenty pounds on your core day after day. Nope, so far no problem. And I have been wearing babies since I was ten (I am now 48)

The reason I ask about your long term health is that I'm in my early fifties and am beginning to see the wear and tear from repetitive motion in this job. I have a pretty bad wrist from peeling and chopping. When I went all organic and fresh in my day care it REALLY escalated quickly.

I stand with my weight on my left foot and kick off a walk with my left foot. My left foot is killing me as we speak.

I worry that nature didn't build us to carry any babies other than our own. I know so many providers in their forties and fifties who are having significant health issues relating to how physical this job is. Back injuries are so common. Pretty sure God/nature is ok with grandbabies

I just hope you are thinking about YOU and your future health and I'm being curious about how it really works infection control issues.If it becomes an issue, then I would have to rethink. For now, it works, and I enjoy it. But thanks for your concern.
Answers in blue...I hope
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Old 01-08-2014, 04:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I'm always interested in the concept of wearing babies that aren't your own in a group setting.

Can I ask a couple of questions? I've only heard about providers doing this in the last year or so and don't know anyone IRL to ask. I'm not against wearing... don't know a thing about it so PLEASE know this is a fishing expedition to understand it.

Are you having to take them in and out constantly? If they are front worn you would have to remove them away from diaper changes and any cooking you would do.

When you don't feel well do you keep them off of you until you know for sure you aren't getting sick?

Aren't you HOT when you wear them. I'm so hot blooded I can't imagine that part of it.

Have you ever consulted an ortho doc that specializes in repetitive motion injuries about the toll on your skeletal system over time? I wonder if an experienced veteran doc who makes his/her living off of fifty plus year olds would caution you about putting an extra ten/twenty pounds on your core day after day.

The reason I ask about your long term health is that I'm in my early fifties and am beginning to see the wear and tear from repetitive motion in this job. I have a pretty bad wrist from peeling and chopping. When I went all organic and fresh in my day care it REALLY escalated quickly.

I stand with my weight on my left foot and kick off a walk with my left foot. My left foot is killing me as we speak.

I worry that nature didn't build us to carry any babies other than our own. I know so many providers in their forties and fifties who are having significant health issues relating to how physical this job is. Back injuries are so common.

I just hope you are thinking about YOU and your future health and I'm being curious about how it really works infection control issues.
I do a lot of baby-wearing as well. Yes, I do have to take them out when I cook lunch. I don't wear them forward-facing and I leave them in for normal diaper changes.

When I am not feeling well or feel like I am coming down with something (which is rare for me) I might not wear them as much but still do some of the time. You still have to hold a baby regardless so wearing them for a bit isn't going to change anything IMHO.

I am extremely hot-blooded (all my parents tease me about my short sleeves all winter) and I usually don't get too hot. Really. I can't stand being hot and wouldn't do it if I was uncomfortable.

As far a strain on the neck/back, it is really important to use a carrier that is well-designed. I used to use a Snugli and it really hurt my neck. An Ergo or Boba style, however, are designed to distribute the weight so that it doesn't tax your back or neck.

This job is taxing on your body, I agree. I am "only" 30 so I haven't had to deal with some of the physical ramifications yet (like repetitive motion injuries and back problems from lifting kids and equipment), but I have close friends in child care in their 50's and early 60's and they have had terrible problems with their hands, wrists, and backs.
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Old 01-08-2014, 04:08 PM
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But for how long? 15 minutes? 4 hours? Who is meeting the other kids needs at this time?

We all love a cuddle... and a sit down. It simply is not practical for parents to expect us to have the ability.

I would love a job as a full-time daycare infant rocker...
We have a volunteer service at our hospitals to sit and rock premies in the NICU. Doesn't pay but I would enjoy just sitting and rocking.
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Old 01-08-2014, 07:24 PM
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I couldn't baby wear. I have a traumatic back injury that was exacerbated by pregnancy and the 7 (!) epidural attempts they had to do. I wore my daughter for the first time while I was Christmas shopping. It was about 2 hours, and I could barely move when I took her off. She only weighed about 12 lbs.

Bless you all that do it.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:15 PM
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I do as well. I will also wear them until it no longer works or they don't want to be worn. To each their own.
Oh my, QRIS here would be all over "baby wearing". That would be considered confinement, just like holding a child, exersaucers, high chairs, etc. if it is over 7-10 minutes. I am not sure they would even allow it to start with. Think I will check it out just for curiosity. That is one thing I would agree with QRIS on, I am not a baby-wearer!!!
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:19 PM
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I couldn't baby wear. I have a traumatic back injury that was exacerbated by pregnancy and the 7 (!) epidural attempts they had to do. I wore my daughter for the first time while I was Christmas shopping. It was about 2 hours, and I could barely move when I took her off. She only weighed about 12 lbs.

Bless you all that do it.
They had to stick me 6 times for an epideral with my first and 4 with my last. I have been told my a handful of nurses that it's pretty common for them to miss
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:04 AM
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Oh my, QRIS here would be all over "baby wearing". That would be considered confinement, just like holding a child, exersaucers, high chairs, etc. if it is over 7-10 minutes. I am not sure they would even allow it to start with. Think I will check it out just for curiosity. That is one thing I would agree with QRIS on, I am not a baby-wearer!!!
Good Lord. Regulations on how long a child can be or wants to be held??? The day that shows up here, I am done.
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:06 AM
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We have a volunteer service at our hospitals to sit and rock premies in the NICU. Doesn't pay but I would enjoy just sitting and rocking.
This is what I want to do when I am a little old lady and retired.
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:22 AM
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Good Lord. Regulations on how long a child can be or wants to be held??? The day that shows up here, I am done.
There were 3000 home daycares when QRIS started in 2002. Now there are under 900 home daycares. Most continue to keep children but went underground to avoid licensing/QRIS. Not fair to those like myself still trying to be legal and meet expectations from the state.
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:39 AM
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Oh my, QRIS here would be all over "baby wearing". That would be considered confinement, just like holding a child, exersaucers, high chairs, etc. if it is over 7-10 minutes. I am not sure they would even allow it to start with. Think I will check it out just for curiosity. That is one thing I would agree with QRIS on, I am not a baby-wearer!!!
Wait...they actually say you can't hold a baby in your arms for more than a specified period of time???? What is this world coming to?
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:39 AM
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There were 3000 home daycares when QRIS started in 2002. Now there are under 900 home daycares. Most continue to keep children but went underground to avoid licensing/QRIS. Not fair to those like myself still trying to be legal and meet expectations from the state.
True, but the powers that be need to figure out soon that they are losing good providers to ridiculous rules. It is one thing to keep kids safe, but some of this is crazy, and quality providers are disappearing when caught between trying to follow all this crap or going illegal.
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:45 AM
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True, but the powers that be need to figure out soon that they are losing good providers to ridiculous rules. It is one thing to keep kids safe, but some of this is crazy, and quality providers are disappearing when caught between trying to follow all this crap or going illegal.
I agree!!!! Been in many state meetings, but it is bigger than state now with Federal issues coming in... At first, I felt we could change it but I do not see that happening now.
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Old 01-09-2014, 07:05 AM
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Oh my, QRIS here would be all over "baby wearing". That would be considered confinement, just like holding a child, exersaucers, high chairs, etc. if it is over 7-10 minutes. I am not sure they would even allow it to start with. Think I will check it out just for curiosity. That is one thing I would agree with QRIS on, I am not a baby-wearer!!!
Oh wow. I don't even subscribe to the baby-wearing philosophy, but I totally disagree with that one. The exersaucers and swings, fine. But CARRYING a child around too long? Personally, I rarely have a child on me for longer than 7-10 minutes, but I'd certainly want that to be my choice (and the child's), not the state's.

As for providers disappearing, I think Meeko, who is originally from England, said something like that happened there. They instituted some sort of quality initiative, lost a bunch of daycare providers, and then had to dial it back. Unfortunately, it could take YEARS for all the states to implement it, then live with it, then lose providers, then complain about it, then pull back. Like a giant "wave" at a ballgame. We are at the start of the wave.
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Old 01-09-2014, 07:20 AM
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I was a wahm when dd was born....I was.told.to.let babybsleep in carseat or swing bc of apnea. For my kid it was more dangerous to sleep on heir back. It's not a one/all thing....even babysitter followed care plan and my kid is alive and well
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Old 01-09-2014, 08:56 AM
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I was a wahm when dd was born....I was.told.to.let babybsleep in carseat or swing bc of apnea. For my kid it was more dangerous to sleep on heir back. It's not a one/all thing....even babysitter followed care plan and my kid is alive and well
Not that I'm disagreeing with your doc.... but I'm disagreeing with your doc Apnea episodes actually happen more often in car seats. This is why preemies have to pass a car seat test before they are released.
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Old 01-09-2014, 10:06 AM
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I couldn't baby wear. I have a traumatic back injury that was exacerbated by pregnancy and the 7 (!) epidural attempts they had to do. I wore my daughter for the first time while I was Christmas shopping. It was about 2 hours, and I could barely move when I took her off. She only weighed about 12 lbs.

Bless you all that do it.
I had trouble wearing my first ds when he was a preemie at only 5lbs with a few of the more popular baby carriers. I couldn't stand to have him in there more then a few minutes because my back hurt so much. I tried the Ergo baby carrier and what a difference that made. I would be able to carry my 3yo around in that and not have any issues and I'm pretty tiny to begin with.
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Old 01-09-2014, 10:33 AM
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I'm always interested in the concept of wearing babies that aren't your own in a group setting.

Can I ask a couple of questions? I've only heard about providers doing this in the last year or so and don't know anyone IRL to ask. I'm not against wearing... don't know a thing about it so PLEASE know this is a fishing expedition to understand it.

Are you having to take them in and out constantly? If they are front worn you would have to remove them away from diaper changes and any cooking you would do.

When you don't feel well do you keep them off of you until you know for sure you aren't getting sick?

Aren't you HOT when you wear them. I'm so hot blooded I can't imagine that part of it.

Have you ever consulted an ortho doc that specializes in repetitive motion injuries about the toll on your skeletal system over time? I wonder if an experienced veteran doc who makes his/her living off of fifty plus year olds would caution you about putting an extra ten/twenty pounds on your core day after day.

The reason I ask about your long term health is that I'm in my early fifties and am beginning to see the wear and tear from repetitive motion in this job. I have a pretty bad wrist from peeling and chopping. When I went all organic and fresh in my day care it REALLY escalated quickly.

I stand with my weight on my left foot and kick off a walk with my left foot. My left foot is killing me as we speak.

I worry that nature didn't build us to carry any babies other than our own. I know so many providers in their forties and fifties who are having significant health issues relating to how physical this job is. Back injuries are so common.

I just hope you are thinking about YOU and your future health and I'm being curious about how it really works infection control issues.
I have never liked baby carrying not even my own- its added awkward weight. I feel like I am smushing the kid, it makes it hard for me to do anything. I love holding them but not to have them travel with me all the time. They did that for nine months Just me- I look at women who do it and it seems to be natural for some and work, for me no thanks.

I suggest a food processor Nan for cutting up your food. I love my kitchen aid. You still have to do some cutting but not as much, helps a lot especially if you cook often from scratch like you do.
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Old 01-09-2014, 01:19 PM
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I wore my own children a lot! With my oldest we lived in a major city and took trains and busses daily and this was easier. At home I didn't wear her so much but, if she was fussy I did. We also co-slept which was great for the first 12 weeks then not so great. With 2nd I did the same.

With my dcb I use the Maya wrap when we go outside for walks. We have only been out once since she has started. Too cold! I do plan on using the wrap for her when we return to the outdoors. I love it. Its easy and my hands are free. Inside I have worn her a few times. She likes it, I like it, it works.

I do agree with OP. I would love to print this and give to all new parents and those who interview!
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Old 01-09-2014, 01:33 PM
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Good Lord. Regulations on how long a child can be or wants to be held??? The day that shows up here, I am done.
We are not allowed to hold babies while they sleep, and are to put them down once they have fallen asleep. So silly. I do wear babies, but not all the time. The problem is people in charge of the rules rarely have practical experience running an in home child care program. If a baby is fussy and tired, sometimes holding them while they sleep is exactly what they need.

The rules and regulations are daunting and I can see how it will deter many from either continuing their child care business or never starting in the first place.
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Old 01-09-2014, 02:04 PM
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EEK! think my point has been lost somewhere...Wearing a baby is no different then co-sleeping! It is not practical or helping baby to become an independent sleepers. How can you have any down time you you are wearing a baby! I cuddle, pick up for brief snuggles etc. but wearing baby? I am speechless!
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Old 01-09-2014, 02:13 PM
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EEK! think my point has been lost somewhere...Wearing a baby is no different then co-sleeping! It is not practical or helping baby to become an independent sleepers. How can you have any down time you you are wearing a baby! I cuddle, pick up for brief snuggles etc. but wearing baby? I am speechless!

I didn't! And I seriously kicked myself in the rear later! Especially when with the oldest we wanted her to sleep in her own bed. With my 2nd it was worked at that time. I was of the thinking I don't care where we sleep as long as we sleep. When she went to her first daycare it was awful. For everyone. She did adjust after about two horrid weeks.

Now with dcb. I put her down awake, hold her yes, but not while sleeping. Its amazing!
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Old 01-09-2014, 04:12 PM
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Baby wearing is a complete fad to me. I'm not saying it's wrong. People need to do what's comfortable for them.

When we were babies, putting us in a playpen to play while mom cooked dinner was typical. Despite this, I was walking at 11 months.

I didn't wear any of my kiddos or use playpens for them. The snugglies or whatever the brand was had just come out when my first came. I borrowed one and tried it a few times when we took the bus or went for a walk, but it didn't even occur to me to wear him around the house.

All 4 of mine also walked at 11 1/2-12 months. They all slept in their own beds at 6 weeks. Cuddle, night-night, lay in bed awake, wind up mobile, smile..that's all. Once in a blue moon someone would fall asleep snuggled on my lap, but never because I planned it that way.

Only the last few years (like 5-7) am I seeing more and more of the baby wearing and co-sleeping. Thank you, Dr. Sears! lol
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Old 01-09-2014, 04:19 PM
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EEK! think my point has been lost somewhere...Wearing a baby is no different then co-sleeping! It is not practical or helping baby to become an independent sleepers. How can you have any down time you you are wearing a baby! I cuddle, pick up for brief snuggles etc. but wearing baby? I am speechless!
There are mountains of evidence that wearing a baby is beneficial to them in many ways. I wore all my kids, and amazingly enough, they are well adjusted, loving human beings who are independent and successful, (Ages: 30,26,25,23,21,18,14,12) and not only in sleeping, but in life. If it isn't for you, fine, no problem, but there is no reason to react as though there is some harm being done to the child.

Out of curiosity, how old are you, and how many kids do you have of your own?
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Old 01-09-2014, 05:11 PM
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Baby wearing is a complete fad to me. I'm not saying it's wrong. People need to do what's comfortable for them.

When we were babies, putting us in a playpen to play while mom cooked dinner was typical. Despite this, I was walking at 11 months.

I didn't wear any of my kiddos or use playpens for them. The snugglies or whatever the brand was had just come out when my first came. I borrowed one and tried it a few times when we took the bus or went for a walk, but it didn't even occur to me to wear him around the house.

All 4 of mine also walked at 11 1/2-12 months. They all slept in their own beds at 6 weeks. Cuddle, night-night, lay in bed awake, wind up mobile, smile..that's all. Once in a blue moon someone would fall asleep snuggled on my lap, but never because I planned it that way.

Only the last few years (like 5-7) am I seeing more and more of the baby wearing and co-sleeping. Thank you, Dr. Sears! lol
Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.
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Old 01-09-2014, 05:23 PM
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Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.
But I think the original point was (correct me if I'm wrong) that allowing your baby to get used to sleeping in anything other than a crib or pnp and then expecting your group caregiver to do the same or for your baby to magically adjust with no issues in a group setting can create big time issues.
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Old 01-09-2014, 05:39 PM
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But I think the original point was (correct me if I'm wrong) that allowing your baby to get used to sleeping in anything other than a crib or pnp and then expecting your group caregiver to do the same or for your baby to magically adjust with no issues in a group setting can create big time issues.
Yes, I got that. Just saying that there ARE providers willing to take a child who is not "sleep trained" etc. Some of us do have a different model, and it is ok too, even appreciate by some.
If you (general you) want the babies to be trained in certain ways, it is perfectly fine for you to explain that to your parents, but some of us are ok with babies that need or want to be worn. It is ok, even important, for us to all be different.
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Old 01-09-2014, 05:40 PM
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Yes, I got that. Just saying that there ARE providers willing to take a child who is not "sleep trained" etc. Some of us do have a different model, and it is ok too, even appreciate by some.
If you (general you) want the babies to be trained in certain ways, it is perfectly fine for you to explain that to your parents, but some of us are ok with babies that need or want to be worn. It is ok, even important, for us to all be different.
gotcha!
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:17 PM
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Yes, I got that. Just saying that there ARE providers willing to take a child who is not "sleep trained" etc. Some of us do have a different model, and it is ok too, even appreciate by some.
If you (general you) want the babies to be trained in certain ways, it is perfectly fine for you to explain that to your parents, but some of us are ok with babies that need or want to be worn. It is ok, even important, for us to all be different.
You know, we run our programs as different as night and day.

I've got 3 decades of experience caring for kids. In many different environments, many different scenarios and for many different reasons.

I have a philosophy about childrearing, as well as a philosophy for caregiving and both are similar. I also know that my way isn't the only way.



From your posts here (over-all...not limited to this thread), I have learned a lot about the "other side" of things.

It's really nice to get a perspective about something I don't do and probably won't ever do but I will be a lot more understanding/accepting of parents I do come across that do choose to do things differently than me.

I am continually amazed at how informational, educational and enlightening this forum can be.

I just wanted to say, thanks for that.
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:51 PM
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You know, we run our programs as different as night and day.

I've got 3 decades of experience caring for kids. In many different environments, many different scenarios and for many different reasons.

I have a philosophy about childrearing, as well as a philosophy for caregiving and both are similar. I also know that my way isn't the only way.



From your posts here (over-all...not limited to this thread), I have learned a lot about the "other side" of things.

It's really nice to get a perspective about something I don't do and probably won't ever do but I will be a lot more understanding/accepting of parents I do come across that do choose to do things differently than me.

I am continually amazed at how informational, educational and enlightening this forum can be.

I just wanted to say, thanks for that.
Thanks
And I agree. I have learned a lot about how and WHY providers do things the way they do. And even after all these years, I do pick up on bits, pieces and perspectives that I can use and/ or enjoy and respect.
I actually have great parents for the most part, but they don't really get what we do. It is great to be able to talk to people who really understand.
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Old 01-09-2014, 09:12 PM
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Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.
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Yes, I got that. Just saying that there ARE providers willing to take a child who is not "sleep trained" etc. Some of us do have a different model, and it is ok too, even appreciate by some.
If you (general you) want the babies to be trained in certain ways, it is perfectly fine for you to explain that to your parents, but some of us are ok with babies that need or want to be worn. It is ok, even important, for us to all be different.
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Old 01-09-2014, 10:05 PM
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I never wore a baby. It was never part of my parenting or caregiving. One of my parents did however. I have a pretty piece of property and she would at times pick up her kids and walk around it. One day she went for one of these walks and wiped out wearing the baby!!! It freaked me out seeing her fall in my driveway with her baby like that. Luckily they both were ok but she has not worn her baby at my house since.
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Old 01-09-2014, 10:58 PM
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There are mountains of evidence that wearing a baby is beneficial to them in many ways. I wore all my kids, and amazingly enough, they are well adjusted, loving human beings who are independent and successful, (Ages: 30,26,25,23,21,18,14,12) and not only in sleeping, but in life. If it isn't for you, fine, no problem, but there is no reason to react as though there is some harm being done to the child.
Amen!
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Old 01-10-2014, 04:17 AM
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Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.
But she didn't say it was wrong - she is saying it's just different. And we are not talking about women in other countries but the US/Canada where baby wearing IS a relativity new concept.
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Old 01-10-2014, 05:39 AM
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Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.
But carrying OTHER people's kids? Is that common and where? Are you saying grandmothers carry their grandchildren as a cultural norm? What about non relatives carrying other people's kids?

In my State we would not be allowed to let a baby sleep in a wrap. Iowa law is VERY specific. We can't even hold them when they are sleeping. They must be put on a flat surface sleeping device immediately when they fall asleep.

It's one of my fave regs because it eliminates the parent requests to rock or hold their baby during nap time. Here they HAVE to sleep on their backs with no exceptions (other than doc notes which I don't do).

I'm not against what you do in ANY way. I love personalizing care. I just can't imagine how my poor back would feel carrying around a 23 pound seven month old who is not tall. ouch I can't imagine carrying around the hefty floppers either. ouch
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Old 01-10-2014, 05:59 AM
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But she didn't say it was wrong - she is saying it's just different. And we are not talking about women in other countries but the US/Canada where baby wearing IS a relativity new concept.
But it isn't. I have been wearing babies for more than 30 years, and so have the majority of my friends. We also co-slept, fed them raw, healthy foods, and partially vaccinated. And we home schooled! It isn't new, just louder.
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Old 01-10-2014, 05:59 AM
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But carrying OTHER people's kids? Is that common and where? Are you saying grandmothers carry their grandchildren as a cultural norm? What about non relatives carrying other people's kids?

In my State we would not be allowed to let a baby sleep in a wrap. Iowa law is VERY specific. We can't even hold them when they are sleeping. They must be put on a flat surface sleeping device immediately when they fall asleep.

It's one of my fave regs because it eliminates the parent requests to rock or hold their baby during nap time. Here they HAVE to sleep on their backs with no exceptions (other than doc notes which I don't do).

I'm not against what you do in ANY way. I love personalizing care. I just can't imagine how my poor back would feel carrying around a 23 pound seven month old who is not tall. ouch I can't imagine carrying around the hefty floppers either. ouch
I do NOT want to sound heartless. I am from a large family who would give the shirt off the back to to do for others. But, this entire thread has made me realize that sometimes it is NOT about the KID. If a parent wants to be a baby-wearer, so be it. BUT if I choose not to do that, I am not a horrible person/provider/friend. I think parents many times are the "needy" ones. It seems it is THEIR kid, THEIR kid and THEIR kid which is selfish to those around them including their child. When I come in this morning, this was evident. Two parents were here and both felt I had to PICK UP/take their child from them. They are 3 years old. The children are taught to be needy as well. I feel this is a negative trait being passed on to our children. Just my thoughts!
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Old 01-10-2014, 06:33 AM
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But it isn't. I have been wearing babies for more than 30 years, and so have the majority of my friends. We also co-slept, fed them raw, healthy foods, and partially vaccinated. And we home schooled! It isn't new, just louder.
Thus my use of the word "relatively" Certainly certain circles have been doing those things for years, but it has NOT been the norm for *most* parents. It IS becoming more mainstream - it's louder because more people are claiming they do those things.
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Old 01-10-2014, 04:49 PM
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Huh... I spent 4 months wearing toddlers to sleep. At one point I had to wear one on my front, one on my back, sit on a bouncy ball and bounce them to sleep while holding one's hand....40 pounds of toddler on my 120 pound frame! Fortunately one is sleep trained now, but I have to lay in bed with the other for 30-60 minutes holding her hand till she falls asleep. I always have somebody in the Ergo on my back... I have some very high-needs toddlers, one (my own) with some extreme sensory issues. I do what I do to make it through the day!

I am unlicensed and I'm sure that's why one parent sought me out in particular - she was and still is reluctant to sleep-train her daughter so I can technically co-sleep with her in a bed.
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Old 01-10-2014, 07:17 PM
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Huh... I spent 4 months wearing toddlers to sleep. At one point I had to wear one on my front, one on my back, sit on a bouncy ball and bounce them to sleep while holding one's hand....40 pounds of toddler on my 120 pound frame! Fortunately one is sleep trained now, but I have to lay in bed with the other for 30-60 minutes holding her hand till she falls asleep. I always have somebody in the Ergo on my back... I have some very high-needs toddlers, one (my own) with some extreme sensory issues. I do what I do to make it through the day!

I am unlicensed and I'm sure that's why one parent sought me out in particular - she was and still is reluctant to sleep-train her daughter so I can technically co-sleep with her in a bed.
In my state it doesn't matter if you are registered or not. What you do would be against the law.
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Old 01-10-2014, 07:31 PM
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In my state it doesn't matter if you are registered or not. What you do would be against the law.
I am confused by this. Is there no legally unlicensed in your state? If there is, how would an unlicensed provider be regulated or under any laws?
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Old 01-10-2014, 07:47 PM
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Let me start off by saying that I fully believe it's hard to be a parent and I'm not passing judgement in any way, shape or form. My father is a Coroner and one of the top SIDS, now referred to as SUIDS investigator in the state. When I was pregnant 15 years ago with my first child, my dad put together some examples of real stories, not to scare me but to show me what has actually happened. I never nor will ever condone co-sleeping with a newborn ever. If you are holding a baby on its back and you wide awake, enjoy your precious baby, but don't fall asleep yourself. I had a bassinet next to my bed so when the baby woke up, I just picked her up to nurse her. Rolling on top of babies happens all of the time not to mention being suffocated by pillows or blankets. There was also a case that involved a girl I had gone to school with- she was sleeping with her baby and the baby rolled off the bed and ended up dying because she hit her head so hard (remember babies have large heads for their little bodies). This was on top of carpet. Their brains are very fragile. The baby had just turned 1 month old. Tragic. It never had to happen. Why risk any of it? When you live with a Coroner as a father and the phone rings in the middle of the night you always know someone died. They don't call the coroner unless it's a suspicious death or the person hasn't been under medical care. I've seen a lot and most all of the cases were preventable. There are risks we take everyday- driving, etc that we can't avoid nor am I saying we should live in a bubble, but when it comes time for babies, I cannot even imagine risking my baby's life. I'm sorry if I am coming across judgmental or rude, that's not my intention, but if I can in anyway save one baby's life, I owe it to them to speak up.

As far as wearing babies go, I don't really understand that fully. I've used a front pack from time to time going places but not everyday. It's horrible for your back and shoulders number one and number two, isn't it our job as parents to raise independent adults eventually? I don't know, I just think kids need to learn independence. You can teach independence with security of being there in a way that is loving and healthy for you both.
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Old 01-10-2014, 07:51 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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I am confused by this. Is there no legally unlicensed in your state? If there is, how would an unlicensed provider be regulated or under any laws?
Search iowa regs thru the iowa department of human services. They have registered and non registered regs. The minimum standards are very similiar. The sleep regs are laws so they apply to any child care provider. You can be non registered but you must abide by the same safety regs. If you look at the handbook for non registered you will see the regs. Not registered doesn't mean you don't have to follow the law.
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Old 01-10-2014, 08:02 PM
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Search iowa regs thru the iowa department of human services. They have registered and non registered regs. The minimum standards are very similiar. The sleep regs are laws so they apply to any child care provider. You can be non registered but you must abide by the same safety regs. If you look at the handbook for non registered you will see the regs. Not registered doesn't mean you don't have to follow the law.
Daycares here can't even open now unless they have the SIDS training....It is a major violation if licensing comes in and the baby is asleep anywhere but on their back in a bed with the blanket only up to their chest. The first thing licensing does when entering my daycare is look into the beds.
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Old 01-10-2014, 11:02 PM
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This is my first time posting on this forum and I can definitely tell I'm a fish out of water with my attachment parenting techniques. Co-sleeping and baby-wearing are terrific techniques to raising a happy, healthy, independent child with close connections to their parents. In fact, every kid I watch calls me "Momma!" on a daily basis! I love each child I watch with all my heart and whatever I do is for their best interest (heck, I even used to donate breast milk to one of them when they were younger - in addition to dozens of other local babies!! - long before I knew I'd be nannying them one day!). I guess you can call me a "shared nanny" versus a daycare.

Someone commented how baby carriers are bad for your back - not if you purchase the right kind! I use Ergo carriers with distribute the weight across my shoulders, chest, and hips. I'm 5'4" and 120 lbs. and today I had one strapped on my back, one strapped on my front...I felt like I could go at least an hour like that if needed!

I have a college education (BA of Elementary Education) and know the risks of SIDS. The parents of the little girl I watch are both well-educated scientists and am sure they know the risks as well. Each kid I tend to is going on 2 years old, so we're not talking newborn co-sleeping here. Still, there are risks...just as there are risks with crib sleeping!

I respect the way that others choose to implement rules in their daycare business - some by choice, some not! I'm glad I live in a community that is very supportive of attachment parenting and support what I do with the kids I babysit
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Old 01-11-2014, 07:45 AM
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Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.
Funny choice of words...I'm not American.


Honestly, though, I DO get what you're saying. I realize that in a lot of cultures it IS common practice. But, I believe in those cultures, in born of necessity, and even if no longer necessary for the baby's safety, it's part of their culture. In our culture, it's a fad. We actually have the luxury of making it a choice (and even arguing about it). THAT"S American Ethnocentrism...

You can carry your babies and I can roll my eyes at you about it (maybe a little), and we can act like it really matters in the long run of their development. In reality, it's probably a minor blip on their developmental radar, KWIM? Your kids and my kids are well-adjusted because we loved them, nurtured them, encouraged them, and made sure their bellies were full and they got enough rest. There are people in THIS country who can't or won't do those things, much less debate baby wearing.


I really wasn't attacking your decision to carry you babies, and we clearly got side-tracked on this thread (as we often do). I apologize if I offended you. Oh, and sorry, OP! As far as daycare goes, yeah, don't bring me your worn, co-slept baby and expect them to be very happy with me! I haven't actually had that happen yet, though.

I have had a "swing sleeper", in fact, he's still here, and it's been a long 6 months. We're getting there, though. I say the hardest part (for both of us) is behind us. He's sitting up now...crawling soon, I hope, and then watch out, world!
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Old 01-11-2014, 06:10 PM
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Funny choice of words...I'm not American.
Your side bar says Wisconsin..so I assumed. Apologies

Honestly, though, I DO get what you're saying. I realize that in a lot of cultures it IS common practice. But, I believe in those cultures, in born of necessity, and even if no longer necessary for the baby's safety, it's part of their culture. In our culture, it's a fad. We actually have the luxury of making it a choice (and even arguing about it). THAT"S American Ethnocentrism... I believe in all sincerity that it is not (or if we must argue that point, that it should not be a fad.) As a first world society, I think we might be raising children that have some serious issues with their own self worth.

You can carry your babies and I can roll my eyes at you about it (maybe a little), and we can act like it really matters in the long run of their development. In reality, it's probably a minor blip on their developmental radar, KWIM? Your kids and my kids are well-adjusted because we loved them, nurtured them, encouraged them, and made sure their bellies were full and they got enough rest. This is probably true, in the same way that breastfeeding is unarguably the best way for babies to eat, but formula will satisfy their need to eat and survive.

There are people in THIS country who can't or won't do those things, much less debate baby wearing. THIS is absolutely true!!


I really wasn't attacking your decision to carry you babies, and we clearly got side-tracked on this thread (as we often do). I apologize if I offended you. Oh, and sorry, OP! As far as daycare goes, yeah, don't bring me your worn, co-slept baby and expect them to be very happy with me! I haven't actually had that happen yet, though. No offense. I am ok with agreeing to disagree. It is more the ones that claim I am doing some kind of irreparable damage to myself or the children that I find offensive. Doing things differently is how the world operates. We value different things. And that is ok.
Oh yes, I have to have words here too
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Old 01-11-2014, 09:05 PM
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WOW!!! You said it all girl!!! You spoke it for all of us!!!!
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Old 01-12-2014, 07:41 AM
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Oh yes, I have to have words here too


I don't think it's a bad thing or harmful to children in any way. The only thing I have trouble with is parents that set their littles up for being unhappy (like swing-training them and then sending them here, knowing I can't use a swing for sleep), or parents who co-sleep because they just can't say no, not because they want to do it, KWIM?

An example would be the family where mom and kids slept in the king-sized bed, and dad slept in the twin-sized "little princess" bed in the pink room next door. Yeah....no! Oh, and when he openly complained about it, his wife said something to the effect of "too bad, so sad". That's not healthy for anyone, the marriage or the kids. Obviously, part of a larger marriage issue, but I'll spare you the other details.
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Old 01-13-2014, 05:57 PM
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I 'am a true believer in helping children develop self soothing skills. I usually rock the little babies but start sleep training them pretty young. For me it is a matter of survival during the day. The better they self sooth the easier it is for me. Children sleep best in a crib. It is better and safer for them. A lot of parents tend to learn this the hard way because at the time it may seem easier to just let them sleep in the swing or whatever. One of the hardest things about being a cc provider is (for me) is not forcing our beliefs on our clients. We can urgue and encourage but we cant force them to see things our way! Ex: My 13 m/o dc boy who drinks great out of a sippy yet mom still wants the snuggle time with him and his bottle and says that when he is 18 mos old she will wean. I disagree but I have pushed as much as I could. He does not get a bottle here!
Deb
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Old 01-13-2014, 05:57 PM
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Not that I'm disagreeing with your doc.... but I'm disagreeing with your doc Apnea episodes actually happen more often in car seats. This is why preemies have to pass a car seat test before they are released.
SOME.... MINE was the opposite. Not all kids have the same scenarios. That's why any good doctor would never ever just assume anything based on what 9/10 kids MIGHT do, rather they would consider the individual child and then make recommendations.

My preemies didn't have to do a "carseat test" Im not sure what that is. I did have to have a police officer professionally install the seat in the car, but that was the extent of it and in fact, all I had to do was bring the seats with me, stick the babies in and they watched us put the seats in the base and we took off and that was that.

Every baby (patient) is different.


Personally I would never baby wear, not because I think it's dangerous, but because I would prefer my baby be independent than clingy. I raised 4 and they're all pretty independent and do not need 100% of my attention, which is a good thing since I work outside he home now. They needed to be able to go to school and daycare without mommy, without a binky a lovey or a bottle. Without having to be dependent on SOMEONE to always be holding them. The DCP would not be able to do that since she has a bunch of other children in her care, and mine do not rule the earth.

I think sometimes, we are doing a disservice to our children by spoiling them too much. They then grow up to become entitled and have "expectations" of everyone and think the world revolves around them, when it doesn't. Then they're sorely disappointed and hurt when they don't get their way.

IDK maybe I'm jaded by the fact I see 5yo's with IPADS (I mean REALLY!!!) and Iphones and parents not parenting, people growing up dependent on others to get them by, or when bad things happen they cannot handle them (school and other shootings). It's gotten to be a society in which we live where no one can fend for themselves.


Has anyone ever watched Revolution or Walking Dead? While they're silly shows, the story is "what would happen to humans if...." and I honestly do not think we'd survive on our own. We'd have to basically kill or be killed, instead of working together. Why? Because kids aren't TAUGHT these values anymore (at home).
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:16 AM
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Okay. This needs to be said. IF YOU are a Stay at home parent...and never plan on returning to work or going away for the weekend or having a babysitter then don't bother reading further...

HOWEVER, If you have a baby and are going back to the workforce or plan on having babysitters, or family watch over your child PLEASE read!!

The Co-sleeping parenting or stroller sleeping or letting baby sleep in carseat, or holding/rocking baby during naps etc., will not work if you plan on having a life away from baby.

No daycare will ever let your child sleep in a carseat (babies have been known for having "flat head" for constantly sleeping in carseats, not to mention babies who have been choked by the straps of the carseat) or a stroller (strangulation, suffocation, or falling out of stroller etc...)

It is dangerous and your are LUCKY nothing has happened to your baby! Read your instruction manual for carseats and strollers if you want to challenge this. Sure you will find a section to confirm what I have just mentioned above.

As for Co-sleeping or holding/rocking baby during entire nap...Do you anticipate having a date night or going away for a romantic weekend with partner/spouse? Do you want to get your hair done, go grocery shopping ect, and/or have a family member watch over baby?? How realistic do you see your family and friends being willing care for your baby if they have to co-sleep with your child? or hold your 40lb baby while they nap for 2 hours...baby might be small now...but as we all know babies get bigger and bigger and bigger...and eventually they will be adults one day.

What about the staff at daycare centers and home daycare? Should they "Sleep" with your baby at nap time?? Think about it. Daycare staff are there to supervise during naps not "Sleep"! They also have a number of other children to "care" for, not to mention that quiet time is usually when daycare staff are scheduled to eat their lunch and/or time to rejuvenate themselves before everyone else wakes up!

To all parents who are refusing to teach their child how to sleep independently in a CRIB. Imagine how stressed babies are when you all of sudden you say "Okay baby...Mommy/Daddy are going to work now! So see you later and by the way...no more "stroller sleeping, car seat sleeping, or co-sleeping, or rocking baby in arms sleep" Seriously! It has to stop!

If you don't know how to teach your baby how to self sooth or sleep get help! There are a number resources/companies in your community that specialize in this. It will take probably a few sessions but your baby is smart and a fast learner! Soon your baby will be the best sleeper!

You will have some personal time as a couple again and if you are a single parent then that means you can ACTUALLY have some YOU time! WOW! wouldn't that be nice!

The greatest gift you can give your child as a parent is to help them learn skills to SELF SOOTH!

Few tips if you want to try on your own:
The second you see baby RUBBING eyes that is the first cue your baby is giving you that they are tired. Watch your baby. Record on paper for a few days when they do this. Do notice a pattern? This is what babies do...Babies will look down and start rubbing one or both eyes and start getting quiet. If you wait too much longer after this cue guess what...baby will be OVER tired and then you will have a much harder time getting them to sleep.
Make room a nice temperature (not to cold or hot!)
close blinds or have blackout blind. It is hard to sleep if you have lights shining on your eyes!
Definitely DON'T make house completely silent. It is okay to putter around house and make "gentle" noises. Don't be rude by banging pots and pans ect, but use common sense.
Babies cry. It is how they express themselves. Your job is to reassure them they are okay and then walk away, reassure them and then walk away ect., Does it take strength, confidence, and energy...you bet! but isn't your baby worth it?? Eventually your baby will understand you always come back but right now it is nap time. So sleep!
Read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems...it is one of my favorite books and trust me! It will walk you through all of the many cues babies give us. It will help you understand, support, love and nurture your babies needs without taking over!

Good Luck!
I could have wrote this

To me, it would seem like common sense to prepare you child for daycare but apparently, not preparing them for daycare, or LIFE is the new normal, it seems.

But what still baffles me is why anyone would WANT to have such a needy child like this.... My own babies were happy, slept in cribs and through the night most of the time and were generally fun to be around.

And now that most of my own children are grown, have college degrees, are independent, happy, have very good jobs, spouses and are decent, contributing, functioning members of society.

Isn't this what we all want for our children? Doesn't this "training" begin at birth?

Thankfully, for me I can pick and choose who I enroll into my childcare and choose not to deal with those types of families if I don't want to, but my point of this is that 20 years ago when I was a relatively new provider, I didn't have luxury to to pick and choose who I cared for. And, today, if I were a new provider just starting out in the business, honestly, if those kinds of families were all I had to choose from, I would have chosen a different career path. Spending my day with needy, unhappy kids, is not the way I choose to spend my day. Same goes for needy, unhappy adults.

My 2 cents.
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Old 01-20-2014, 09:25 PM
mpb12 mpb12 is offline
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I love putting them to bed wide awake and seeing how long it takes for all of them to be out. Bout two to three minutes!
Agree on that with you!!
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