Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Throwing in the Towel
KidGrind 12:07 PM 01-13-2016
I donít know if this is a temporary thing or forever thing.

Itís weird to me as I thought Iíd be quitting 20 years from now. However, Iíve moved. I donít think Iíll be reopening. I am grief stricken with missing the kids I left in Maryland. I dream about them. I cry about them.

I didnít realize how attached I had become. I knew I loved and cared for them. However, I truly view child care as business. So Iím caught off guard by the extreme of my emotions.

So with reflecting on the amount of loss I feel right now. I donít know if I want to open again, as I do not want to get attached to the kids to this level anymore.

So I am thinking of selling all of my stuff and calling it quits for good.
Reply
Thriftylady 12:10 PM 01-13-2016
Oh no! I am sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Take a little time and think it over.
Reply
Ariana 12:13 PM 01-13-2016
That is so sad I'm sorry that this has been so hard on you. I think it is hard on anyone who is not a sociopath...so congrats on discovering you are not one

Definitely take some time to mourn. I took a full year off and I still get a bit misty when I think about those kids. It is totally normal and part of being a human....unless of course this is really affecting you. Maybe seeing someone about it could help as well.

Hang in there and big huge hugs
Reply
Blackcat31 12:23 PM 01-13-2016
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I donít know if this is a temporary thing or forever thing.

Itís weird to me as I thought Iíd be quitting 20 years from now. However, Iíve moved. I donít think Iíll be reopening. I am grief stricken with missing the kids I left in Maryland. I dream about them. I cry about them.

I didnít realize how attached I had become. I knew I loved and cared for them. However, I truly view child care as business. So Iím caught off guard by the extreme of my emotions.

So with reflecting on the amount of loss I feel right now. I donít know if I want to open again, as I do not want to get attached to the kids to this level anymore.

So I am thinking of selling all of my stuff and calling it quits for good.


I have those moments too.

I think the best thing to do though would be to re-open.

If you are actually making that type of connection to the kids you care for, then I imagine there are an awful lot of them (where you have moved to) that will miss out on some of that good stuff.

Closing would be easiest for you. Closing means you won't be available to give new children what you gave previous children.

What's that saying, "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"..... I view your situation kind of like that.

You know I view my business the same way you do but I am not naive enough to think I don't make some difference in a child's foundational beginnings and future make up as a person just because I am not a provider that went into this "because I love kids and knew I wanted to work with them since I was a preschooler myself"... type provider so honestly I think you need to take some time to adjusting to the move and then give re-opening another thought.
Reply
KidGrind 12:44 PM 01-13-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
That is so sad I'm sorry that this has been so hard on you. I think it is hard on anyone who is not a sociopath...so congrats on discovering you are not one
This made me snort.



Thanks all for the advice. I am plucking away at updating my resume. I am thinking Iíll fit right in at the DMV.
Reply
mommyneedsadayoff 01:05 PM 01-13-2016
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I donít know if this is a temporary thing or forever thing.

Itís weird to me as I thought Iíd be quitting 20 years from now. However, Iíve moved. I donít think Iíll be reopening. I am grief stricken with missing the kids I left in Maryland. I dream about them. I cry about them.

I didnít realize how attached I had become. I knew I loved and cared for them. However, I truly view child care as business. So Iím caught off guard by the extreme of my emotions.

So with reflecting on the amount of loss I feel right now. I donít know if I want to open again, as I do not want to get attached to the kids to this level anymore.

So I am thinking of selling all of my stuff and calling it quits for good.
This is similar to what I went through when we moved from TX. I had such a great thing going there and the kids were great, parents were great, and our house worked so well for daycare. We moved and our house is a lot smaller now, the people are a lot different and I found myself having a really hard time getting back in my groove. I decided to be done and even though I still have one little guy I watch, I have moved on from the whole daycare situation. I cannot say that I don't go back and forth everyday or that I may not go back to it i the future, but for now, I just needed a break from it all. I am more or less a nanny (even though they bring him to my house), so my focus is on my own kids and him and it has been nice to just take a step back.

I remember my mom saying that it is totally normal to grieve when you move from one place to another, whether it is from state to state or old house to new house. You may just be grieving fromt he move and the loss of great friends and family and it is totally normal and okay to just take some time for yourself! Do what YOU need to do to get YOUR groove back and even if that groove is not in childcare anymore, you will find what makes you happy and maybe in the place you least expected it! Good luck and hug!
Reply
Brittany 02:46 PM 01-13-2016
Every time I stop caring for a child there is a grieving process. You are right in the middle of it now, it hurts so much to even think of kids, let alone opening your home to more children. I would take the time you need to grieve the loss, but don't sell your stuff just yet. It sounds like you made a loving connection with the children you cared for, kids need these kinds of adults in their lives! Sending hugs your way, I hope that time will ease this loss for you
Reply
midaycare 06:10 PM 01-13-2016


Whatever you decide, I enjoy your input here!
Reply
rosieteddy 08:12 AM 01-14-2016
Back in 1995 I took my father-in -law (Altheimers -not spelled right)and sister-in -law (mentally disabled)in .I thought I could run the daycare and care for them to.After 4 months it was evident that would not work. So I gave notice and closed. I was the full time caregiver for 2 years for father-in-law until he passed away.Then I enrolled my sister -in-law in adult day health.Got a job as infant toddler teacher mothers hours. She passed away a year later.I tried nanny share and still had two sons home. After 4 years I went back to family childcare reopened and just retired after 16 years.Sometimes its good to get a taste of whats out there.I retired last year after a heart attack and I still miss the kids and job most days. Good luck.
Reply
KidGrind 08:52 AM 01-14-2016
Thank you all for the kind words, hugs and sharing your situations.

Well the resume is finished. I’ve applied for 3 positions. We’ll see how the cookie crumbles in the upcoming months.

A thought just crossed my mind, “I don’t know if I have the patience to work with adults again.”


Reply
mommyneedsadayoff 02:34 PM 01-14-2016
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
Thank you all for the kind words, hugs and sharing your situations.

Well the resume is finished. Iíve applied for 3 positions. Weíll see how the cookie crumbles in the upcoming months.

A thought just crossed my mind, ďI donít know if I have the patience to work with adults again.Ē

That is one of the hard parts for sure and not being your own boss! I haven't had a boss in so long that I can definitely say it takes some getting used too!
Reply
Unregistered 02:46 PM 01-14-2016
Oh Gosh! I say if you loved fcc so much and loved the kids so much to stay in the business! You are an incredible asset to this profession!
Reply
KidGrind 07:14 AM 01-28-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Oh Gosh! I say if you loved fcc so much and loved the kids so much to stay in the business! You are an incredible asset to this profession!
I do love the kids. The other day as I was chatting with a neighbor the kids came up and I started crying.

So I’ll let some time pass and then make a decision whether to reopen or stay closed for good.

I’ve gotten a job and I’ll see how that develops down the the road.
Reply
My3cents 07:55 PM 02-04-2016
Originally Posted by Brittany:
Every time I stop caring for a child there is a grieving process. You are right in the middle of it now, it hurts so much to even think of kids, let alone opening your home to more children. I would take the time you need to grieve the loss, but don't sell your stuff just yet. It sounds like you made a loving connection with the children you cared for, kids need these kinds of adults in their lives! Sending hugs your way, I hope that time will ease this loss for you
Your first sentence.......this is me! How could we not grieve??? We spend a lot of time with these little peeps. I do work hard to keep it real and remind myself this is a business and why I do this line of work. It helps to keep me in check.

I say life is short and do what makes you happy, follow and allow yourself to have the journey. Your journey might be just pulling you a different way for a while. Give it a chance, if it doesn't work out you can always jump back into daycare- you have the experience

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and check in from time to time, your wisdom can help others-

my3cents~
Reply
daycarediva 11:14 AM 02-05-2016
Ok, I know I'm not a sociopath, but when 90% of daycare children leave for good- I don't even miss them.

I'm awesome at my job. Warm, loving, affectionate, I get to know their personalities, likes and dislikes and all of their little quirks. I LIKE all of them.

I only can say I have loved a few. Those children I still think of, mention or my own family mention and one I have kept in touch with. (Same age as my 16 yo dd/they are friends).
Reply
Ariana 11:32 AM 02-05-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Ok, I know I'm not a sociopath, but when 90% of daycare children leave for good- I don't even miss them.

I'm awesome at my job. Warm, loving, affectionate, I get to know their personalities, likes and dislikes and all of their little quirks. I LIKE all of them.

I only can say I have loved a few. Those children I still think of, mention or my own family mention and one I have kept in touch with. (Same age as my 16 yo dd/they are friends).
How do you sleep at night?! I am kidding!

I am right there with you! Some kids leave and I am sorry to see them go but only a few really upset me. When I Shut my daycare down for a year though I thought I'd never do this again and I really grieved the memories that were made in my home. It's like the end of a chapter.
Reply
Blackcat31 12:16 PM 02-05-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Ok, I know I'm not a sociopath, but when 90% of daycare children leave for good- I don't even miss them.

I'm awesome at my job. Warm, loving, affectionate, I get to know their personalities, likes and dislikes and all of their little quirks. I LIKE all of them.

I only can say I have loved a few. Those children I still think of, mention or my own family mention and one I have kept in touch with. (Same age as my 16 yo dd/they are friends).
guilty here too....
Reply
Snowmom 12:45 PM 02-05-2016
Yep, me too.
Reply
midaycare 02:14 PM 02-05-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Ok, I know I'm not a sociopath, but when 90% of daycare children leave for good- I don't even miss them.

I'm awesome at my job. Warm, loving, affectionate, I get to know their personalities, likes and dislikes and all of their little quirks. I LIKE all of them.

I only can say I have loved a few. Those children I still think of, mention or my own family mention and one I have kept in touch with. (Same age as my 16 yo dd/they are friends).
This is me as well. They are not my children. I care for them, love them, but when it's time to go, it's time to go. I've only had a few age out in the 2 years I've been open, but I don't see my outlook changing.
Reply
NeedaVaca 03:01 PM 02-05-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Ok, I know I'm not a sociopath, but when 90% of daycare children leave for good- I don't even miss them.

I'm awesome at my job. Warm, loving, affectionate, I get to know their personalities, likes and dislikes and all of their little quirks. I LIKE all of them.

I only can say I have loved a few. Those children I still think of, mention or my own family mention and one I have kept in touch with. (Same age as my 16 yo dd/they are friends).
Same here
Reply
Tags:attached to children, daycare closure, emotional, grieving, letting go, moving, over it
Reply Up