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  #1  
Old 10-17-2013, 11:11 AM
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GKJNIGMN GKJNIGMN is offline
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Default New Provider Here: How Much Notice To Terminate?

I took on a school aged child whos father is a single military parent who works long hours. He has PT at 6AM and as a recruiter sometimes works into the evening. He gave me a schedule that was doable but has only picked his son up twice as scheduled in 3 weeks. His scheduling on Wednesdays says 5:30PM pickup and he showed up at 8 without so much as calling. I agreed to keep his son later than scheduled occasionally assuming he would give me a quick call to tell me he had a recruiting appointment. Yesterday morning he called 1.5 hours after the boy was supposed to be here to tell me he would take him to school and today it is 2.5 hours before the child gets out of school and not only did I not see him this morning, I haven't heard from the father. I don't even know if he went to school or if I need to pick him up. He prepays 2 weeks at a time and paid me part of what was due for the next two weeks last night so I assume he isn't just not bringing him anymore. But for 2 days I have had to get up extremely early for no reason and I have to sit around with my own kids and any other daycare kids I may have all afternoon/evening because I assume he is coming as scheduled and doesn't. To top it off, I gave him a rate under the assumption of an occasional appointment outside of normal hours so I am being underpaid by a huge amount. My dillema is that all the other daycares either aren't open late enough for him, don't transport to his son's school, or don't take school aged kids so he will have a lot of trouble finding a replacement. I feel for him but I want out. Would you give him the normal 2 weeks notice or would it be more appropriate to offer to continue care through Dec 31st? If I agree to keep him through then, would it be ok to raise his rate to a full time rate?
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Old 10-17-2013, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by GKJNIGMN View Post
I took on a school aged child whos father is a single military parent who works long hours. He has PT at 6AM and as a recruiter sometimes works into the evening. He gave me a schedule that was doable but has only picked his son up twice as scheduled in 3 weeks. His scheduling on Wednesdays says 5:30PM pickup and he showed up at 8 without so much as calling. I agreed to keep his son later than scheduled occasionally assuming he would give me a quick call to tell me he had a recruiting appointment. Yesterday morning he called 1.5 hours after the boy was supposed to be here to tell me he would take him to school and today it is 2.5 hours before the child gets out of school and not only did I not see him this morning, I haven't heard from the father. I don't even know if he went to school or if I need to pick him up. He prepays 2 weeks at a time and paid me part of what was due for the next two weeks last night so I assume he isn't just not bringing him anymore. But for 2 days I have had to get up extremely early for no reason and I have to sit around with my own kids and any other daycare kids I may have all afternoon/evening because I assume he is coming as scheduled and doesn't. To top it off, I gave him a rate under the assumption of an occasional appointment outside of normal hours so I am being underpaid by a huge amount. My dillema is that all the other daycares either aren't open late enough for him, don't transport to his son's school, or don't take school aged kids so he will have a lot of trouble finding a replacement. I feel for him but I want out. Would you give him the normal 2 weeks notice or would it be more appropriate to offer to continue care through Dec 31st? If I agree to keep him through then, would it be ok to raise his rate to a full time rate?
There is no way you should continue to let this guy treat you like this until the end of the year. I'd tell him exactly what your expectations are, charge your full rate, and let him know that if he can't abide by the rules, you will terminate. YOU feel for him, but he does not respect YOU. It's not your problem, girl!

You need to write out your own "rulebook" and abide by it, and expect the same from him. I get the impression that he thinks it is OK to treat you this way, so you need to put it in writing for him and have him sign his agreement.

Normally, I'd just tell you to term immediately, but this may just be a communication problem. As far as the late nights, charge a premium rate for those, as well. Tell Dad that you just can't afford to continue to care for the child at the lowered rate, and that your free time is precious, so he needs to pay more for it.
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Old 10-17-2013, 11:26 AM
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I'd just give the 2 week notice. I would explain that the arrangement is not working out the way the 2 of you agreed it would and that you just can not continue.

Don't make his problems your problems.
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Old 10-17-2013, 11:29 AM
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Thanks for the advice. I have only been doing this a couple months and I have already learned a lot from this site. I have a new policy book set to go out next week to be signed and returned to take effect January 1st. I think I will do as you say though and raise him to a full time rate with a rate for if he is late and a higher rate than that if he is late and doesn't call. I will be asking him to find new care for the new year either way.
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Old 10-17-2013, 11:43 AM
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I think you should send out contracts NOW and make them effective in two weeks. if a parent does not sign and return immediately, they will not be guaranteed care. there is no reason to wait till the new years to update policies. i would tell the dad EXACTLY what you require in order to continue care. The first rule broken is immediate termination. you tell him what you will do and for what fee and he can take it or leave it. do not give him any wiggle room about occasional extra time and stuff. nail all the rules down and thats that, no wiggle room
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Old 10-17-2013, 02:58 PM
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My husband is a recruiter and the hours are ridiculous, there is no notice, and my husband often does not have the ability to use his personal cell to contact me (or anyone). There have been plenty of nights he worked until midnight. Countless weekends worked. I'm just telling you that so that you know it really is that bad for the guy. It is considered the worst and most stressful job in the Marine Corps (and I say that as the wife of a guy who deployed many times with a job hunting for IEDs before he ended up on recruiting duty).

I can't even imagine how the military could have assigned a single father to be a recruiter. I don't understand it at all. I don't know what to tell you other than that it probably won't get better. I can't imagine what the poor guy's other options are though. He should have never been assigned to that duty.
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Old 10-18-2013, 01:33 PM
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Thanks for all the help. New contracts will all be given out by Monday. I immediately gave a copy to a mother at pick up yesterday who is chronically late and she paid me early and showed up on time today. I do feel for the guy and believe that his hours are that crazy. It's as much the fact that I know he has a phone in the morning and I agreed to accommodate his early schedule as an exception but he has either been a no show or over an hour late every morning this week. I will probably sleep on it over the weekend and decide whether to raise his rate and tell him if he picks up after a certain time it is an additional charge per hour or if he needs to just find other arrangements. He has 13 years in and is facing discharge if he doesn't have reliable care.
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Old 10-18-2013, 01:59 PM
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Originally Posted by GKJNIGMN View Post
Thanks for all the help. New contracts will all be given out by Monday. I immediately gave a copy to a mother at pick up yesterday who is chronically late and she paid me early and showed up on time today. I do feel for the guy and believe that his hours are that crazy. It's as much the fact that I know he has a phone in the morning and I agreed to accommodate his early schedule as an exception but he has either been a no show or over an hour late every morning this week. I will probably sleep on it over the weekend and decide whether to raise his rate and tell him if he picks up after a certain time it is an additional charge per hour or if he needs to just find other arrangements. He has 13 years in and is facing discharge if he doesn't have reliable care.
Does he have any back up care? or can he take time off if/ when his child is sick? This is going to come up at some point, and should be in your policies you are writing. Also do you ever take any personal/ vacation days (or even sick days if you don't have an alternate). something to think about if this is going to work.
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Old 10-18-2013, 04:48 PM
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I give a list of every holiday and personal day that I am closed for the entire year and I charge for those but do reserve the right to take sick days unpaid as needed. He signed a specific policy stating that he would arrange backup care for those days, that I may at some point have an emergency that requires me to take off and I have a very specific sick child policy indicating when I will not provide care. Either way, a big selling point for me is that the father is off at 3:30PM on Fridays which he verbally told me and my fiance who was at the interview and also put in writing on his contract. This is the 3rd friday and the earliest pickup yet at 6PM. To top it off he had at the very least gone home to shower and change clothes before picking up his son. I am opting to terminate him with 4 weeks notice. My suggestion to him is going to be to put him in a regular daycare center and hire a teenager or college student to pick him up when they close and watch dcb until he gets home.
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Old 10-18-2013, 05:30 PM
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My husband changes at the station, most of them do. They don't wear their uniforms home most of the time in hopes of minimizing dry cleaning bills. I can't imagine any recruiter ever thinking they'd be off by 3:30. My husband is now working at HQ, but when he was a normal recruiter he was home before the kids went to bed only a handful of times. A single father should not be a recruiter. It is just not possible IMO. Even though I feel the guys pain in a way, I don't fault you at all for not being willing to take on what his job must bring for you as a provider. I sure wouldn't be for someone else.
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Old 10-18-2013, 06:53 PM
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Can I ask what your policy says about drop off and pick up? Do you only work on contracted set drop off and pick up times or do you allow them to drop off and pick up when needed?

Do you think that it would be possible to talk to him about this and let him know that you would really love to help, but only under the conditions that you agreed to. If he needs more hours, he needs to pay. If he is not going to drop off on time, he needs to call, same for picking up.

If you don't outline for him what you expect, then he will do what he wants when he wants and why he wants. If there is no consequence for his actions, then he will keep doing it.

Do you have a late pick up fee in your contract?????

I once dated a guy in the coast guard and he had two kids from his previous marriage. They lived pretty far away and could never come to stay with dad because he often would deploy on a moments notice. I worked a normal schedule at that time and so one summer I was able to help him with his kids so he could actually spend some time with them. They got to stay the whole summer vs. only getting to see him a few days a year. My heart goes out to these military guys, not saying you should let his problems become yours, but If I could, I would talk to him first to see if we could fix things and if we can't then let him know it's not going to work out...........................
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Old 10-18-2013, 07:25 PM
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I think you should send out contracts NOW and make them effective in two weeks. if a parent does not sign and return immediately, they will not be guaranteed care. there is no reason to wait till the new years to update policies. i would tell the dad EXACTLY what you require in order to continue care. The first rule broken is immediate termination. you tell him what you will do and for what fee and he can take it or leave it. do not give him any wiggle room about occasional extra time and stuff. nail all the rules down and thats that, no wiggle room
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Old 10-18-2013, 11:15 PM
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Originally Posted by GKJNIGMN View Post
My suggestion to him is going to be to put him in a regular daycare center and hire a teenager or college student to pick him up when they close and watch dcb until he gets home.
This sounds like a workable solutions for this dad. I do feel sorry for single parents in these types of positions, but there is no way I could ever accommodate that schedule. He could also network with some other parents in his child's class to find someone that could help him out occasionally as well.
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Old 10-20-2013, 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Leigh View Post
There is no way you should continue to let this guy treat you like this until the end of the year. I'd tell him exactly what your expectations are, charge your full rate, and let him know that if he can't abide by the rules, you will terminate. YOU feel for him, but he does not respect YOU. It's not your problem, girl!

You need to write out your own "rulebook" and abide by it, and expect the same from him. I get the impression that he thinks it is OK to treat you this way, so you need to put it in writing for him and have him sign his agreement.

Normally, I'd just tell you to term immediately, but this may just be a communication problem. As far as the late nights, charge a premium rate for those, as well. Tell Dad that you just can't afford to continue to care for the child at the lowered rate, and that your free time is precious, so he needs to pay more for it.
Hoping it's just a communication error..ie. he assumes he can just show up 'whenever' & doesn't think you're a real business or that his lateness affects you..the no big deal syndrome. Set him straight, & hopefully he realizes that he's been screwing up & gets it together. 2 hrs late to pick up with no communication & no apology is inexcusable & I would've seriously thought about terming right then & there.
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Old 10-21-2013, 03:16 PM
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After sleeping on it over the weekend we are terminating. I will give him until the 15th of next month to find alternative care but once again this morning he was supposed to be here before 6AM which is over an hour earlier than I have anyone else and he text at 7:15 to tell me he wasn't bringing him in the morning. We usually take the other kids to the park or outings in the evenings and can't the way things are because we are sitting around waiting on him and he shorted my pay because he said all his bills fell around the 15th this month. I have faith that he will figure it out but I found myself repeating to my fiance "I cannot make his problems my problems" lol I can't dread every day because of one parent. We actually really love all the other kids we have and most of the parents.
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