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Old 11-13-2014, 04:19 PM
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Default Wow, My Suspicions Of A DCF Were Confirmed Today

I have posted about one of my dcf's who I think are, well, less than sane. It's the family of the dcb who had a seizure, who always comes in dirty, who's children have everything under the sun, is always on the phone when she picks up, I could go on and on. Other parents have made comments too. (it's not their business, but they have noticed things both with dcb and when they see dcm)

Well, dcb's "aunt" (not bio, that's what they call her, she and her husband are close with the dcp's), came to pick up dcb and was frustrated when she came in. Dcm called her to see if she would p/u because her dh had to go in to the Dr. for an emergency thing. She picked/lifted up dcb and asked him if he was going to sleep through the night tonight (dcb and his bro were at her house Sat.-Tues.). I told her that he didn't sleep very well at nap and she said "yay, I'll get some sleep".

She then started talking about dcp's! She said she was surprised that dcb wasn't in the clothes that she dropped him off in on Tues. She said "I don't want to gossip, but I'm so frustrated with dcp's. They always drop them off to me dirty (dcb and his bro), I give them a bath all the time and the older boy said that I'm the only one who washes his hair (she said she confronted mom on that one and mom said that he won't LET her wash it). DCP's never have food to take over there when they visit or spend the night (dcb is supposedly gluten and milk intolerant), (I then asked if she needed any and she said no, she was going to stop at their house and get what she needs this time)", then she started talking about how she loves the boys, but thinks dcm is trying to make them seem special needs! My EXACT thoughts! She said that she thinks that dcm is teaching dcb's brother (3 years old) the markers of Autism and is making him act a certain way so that she can claim he is special needs. She said that they are as normal as they can be and every time they act out, dcm thinks something is wrong (I have noticed this many times). Then she said that their house is dirty and that L probably wouldn't have as many health problems if they cleaned.
These poor boys are in every type of therapy you can think of-speech, ot, pt, etc... I also told her that I clipped dcb's nails and she said she was going to do that the other day-they were almost as long as mine!

I said I had my opinion and didn't want to step on anyone's toes and just left it at that. She said well you have known her for a while, you probably figured some things out.

Unfortunately, I was right. If a close, almost family member has the same concerns as me, my suspicions were right. I also thought she was making stuff up just to seem special. Poor boys.
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:59 PM
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What a bizarre thing to do! I can't understand- is she looking for sympathy, attention, or money when claiming they are special needs?! Sounds like you were spot on about this family! It's nice that someone else is aware, too. And, since she is the "aunt", she can confront dcm in ways you can't!
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Old 11-14-2014, 06:29 AM
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I'm not sure what dcm's objective is, I want to say attention, maybe.?
She graduated with a degree in education with an emphasis in special education and she had to student teach in a special needs classroom. The boys were 1 and 3 at the time, which is when she started saying the boys had whatever she said. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with how she is or why she thinks her kids are special needs. And it's weird that her kids only do certain things at her house, never mine and dcb is the first one here and last to leave most days, to make her think this.
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Old 11-14-2014, 07:33 AM
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I had one similar to that, but not so all-encompassing: I always thought DCGs horrible tantrums she supposedly had at home were due to a lack of discipline. I never had problems with her here in that respect, and found it hard to believe the stories DCM would tell me about her cursing like a sailor and throwing furniture. I swear she wanted me to think DCG was possessed by demons the way she described it.

After she went to K, mom had her diagnosed as ADD and put on Ridilin. In 1st grade she was diagnosed with depression and put on an anti-depressant. Then in 3rd grade she was diagnosed bi-polar after a 10-minute session and a testimony from mom and put on heavy anti-psychotic meds (that psychiatrist should lose her license). I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to sever ties and longer provide SA care for them. It broke my heart. I honestly think DCMs motivation was to get drugs hoping she would be easier to care for.

So your 2 poor boys. Around here, if a child has any kind of developmental delay, you can get free preschool for 3 and 4yo through the public school system. People know how to work that system, too. Do you have something like that, too? I guess all you can do is put up with DCMs shenanigans as I did and feel good knowing they have a safe place with you, or term services.
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melilley View Post
I have posted about one of my dcf's who I think are, well, less than sane. It's the family of the dcb who had a seizure, who always comes in dirty, who's children have everything under the sun, is always on the phone when she picks up, I could go on and on. Other parents have made comments too. (it's not their business, but they have noticed things both with dcb and when they see dcm)

Well, dcb's "aunt" (not bio, that's what they call her, she and her husband are close with the dcp's), came to pick up dcb and was frustrated when she came in. Dcm called her to see if she would p/u because her dh had to go in to the Dr. for an emergency thing. She picked/lifted up dcb and asked him if he was going to sleep through the night tonight (dcb and his bro were at her house Sat.-Tues.). I told her that he didn't sleep very well at nap and she said "yay, I'll get some sleep".

She then started talking about dcp's! She said she was surprised that dcb wasn't in the clothes that she dropped him off in on Tues. She said "I don't want to gossip, but I'm so frustrated with dcp's. They always drop them off to me dirty (dcb and his bro), I give them a bath all the time and the older boy said that I'm the only one who washes his hair (she said she confronted mom on that one and mom said that he won't LET her wash it). DCP's never have food to take over there when they visit or spend the night (dcb is supposedly gluten and milk intolerant), (I then asked if she needed any and she said no, she was going to stop at their house and get what she needs this time)", then she started talking about how she loves the boys, but thinks dcm is trying to make them seem special needs! My EXACT thoughts! She said that she thinks that dcm is teaching dcb's brother (3 years old) the markers of Autism and is making him act a certain way so that she can claim he is special needs. She said that they are as normal as they can be and every time they act out, dcm thinks something is wrong (I have noticed this many times). Then she said that their house is dirty and that L probably wouldn't have as many health problems if they cleaned.
These poor boys are in every type of therapy you can think of-speech, ot, pt, etc... I also told her that I clipped dcb's nails and she said she was going to do that the other day-they were almost as long as mine!

I said I had my opinion and didn't want to step on anyone's toes and just left it at that. She said well you have known her for a while, you probably figured some things out.

Unfortunately, I was right. If a close, almost family member has the same concerns as me, my suspicions were right. I also thought she was making stuff up just to seem special. Poor boys.
I would call CPS
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ View Post
I had one similar to that, but not so all-encompassing: I always thought DCGs horrible tantrums she supposedly had at home were due to a lack of discipline. I never had problems with her here in that respect, and found it hard to believe the stories DCM would tell me about her cursing like a sailor and throwing furniture. I swear she wanted me to think DCG was possessed by demons the way she described it.

After she went to K, mom had her diagnosed as ADD and put on Ridilin. In 1st grade she was diagnosed with depression and put on an anti-depressant. Then in 3rd grade she was diagnosed bi-polar after a 10-minute session and a testimony from mom and put on heavy anti-psychotic meds (that psychiatrist should lose her license). I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to sever ties and longer provide SA care for them. It broke my heart. I honestly think DCMs motivation was to get drugs hoping she would be easier to care for.

So your 2 poor boys. Around here, if a child has any kind of developmental delay, you can get free preschool for 3 and 4yo through the public school system. People know how to work that system, too. Do you have something like that, too? I guess all you can do is put up with DCMs shenanigans as I did and feel good knowing they have a safe place with you, or term services.
I had a similar situation with a perfectly normal, albeit slightly undisciplined dcb. He's on 4 meds, and I cut ties last summer. He was an ANGEL for me and we still dearly miss him, I just could NOT watch him act like a zombie anymore on all those meds and Mom go on and on about how "awful" he was for her.

I would call CPS at this point, I remember this mom and all the tests she put those kids through. It sounds like munchausen by proxy (sp).

Having a special needs child is NO picnic, I can't imagine her reasoning behind this other than mental illness.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:03 AM
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Sounds like she is putting more energy into creating drama in her life than she is into caring for her children.

This whole creating special needs kids thing seems to be on the rise because I hear about people doing this so often....I can't understand why someone would choose to encourage a special needs diagnosis. That diagnosis will follow them for the rest of their lives.

I would call CPS. Maybe they can knock some sense into this DCM.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ View Post
I had one similar to that, but not so all-encompassing: I always thought DCGs horrible tantrums she supposedly had at home were due to a lack of discipline. I never had problems with her here in that respect, and found it hard to believe the stories DCM would tell me about her cursing like a sailor and throwing furniture. I swear she wanted me to think DCG was possessed by demons the way she described it.

After she went to K, mom had her diagnosed as ADD and put on Ridilin. In 1st grade she was diagnosed with depression and put on an anti-depressant. Then in 3rd grade she was diagnosed bi-polar after a 10-minute session and a testimony from mom and put on heavy anti-psychotic meds (that psychiatrist should lose her license). I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to sever ties and longer provide SA care for them. It broke my heart. I honestly think DCMs motivation was to get drugs hoping she would be easier to care for.

So your 2 poor boys. Around here, if a child has any kind of developmental delay, you can get free preschool for 3 and 4yo through the public school system. People know how to work that system, too. Do you have something like that, too? I guess all you can do is put up with DCMs shenanigans as I did and feel good knowing they have a safe place with you, or term services.
Just a thought, a horrible one, but it crossed my mind. Did the child actually take these meds? I'm hoping mom wasn't using the child to obtain meds for her own misuse or to sell them. I know, sounds bad, but sooooo many people use false complaints to obtain meds. Especially these kinds of meds, where you can't refill until your 30 days are up. Mom or dad may have been filling dcg's scripts in addition to their own to get extra meds
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Old 11-14-2014, 12:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ View Post
I had one similar to that, but not so all-encompassing: I always thought DCGs horrible tantrums she supposedly had at home were due to a lack of discipline. I never had problems with her here in that respect, and found it hard to believe the stories DCM would tell me about her cursing like a sailor and throwing furniture. I swear she wanted me to think DCG was possessed by demons the way she described it.

After she went to K, mom had her diagnosed as ADD and put on Ridilin. In 1st grade she was diagnosed with depression and put on an anti-depressant. Then in 3rd grade she was diagnosed bi-polar after a 10-minute session and a testimony from mom and put on heavy anti-psychotic meds (that psychiatrist should lose her license). I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to sever ties and longer provide SA care for them. It broke my heart. I honestly think DCMs motivation was to get drugs hoping she would be easier to care for.

So your 2 poor boys. Around here, if a child has any kind of developmental delay, you can get free preschool for 3 and 4yo through the public school system. People know how to work that system, too. Do you have something like that, too? I guess all you can do is put up with DCMs shenanigans as I did and feel good knowing they have a safe place with you, or term services.
Oh wow! Poor girl!
I do feel good knowing that dcb has my house to come to. The older bro is now at home with dcm, she's not working, she had surgery on her foot Tuesday so is off, but I suspect she has been off longer. I had older bro on Tuesday and he told me he and mom are taking a break from school. She also she is trying to get disability from her job.

She works in a GSRP classroom with preschoolers! In the same building as her son...poor boy.
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Old 11-14-2014, 12:26 PM
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It's time to call CPS and let them investigate.

Laurel
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Old 11-14-2014, 12:27 PM
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I had a similar situation with a perfectly normal, albeit slightly undisciplined dcb. He's on 4 meds, and I cut ties last summer. He was an ANGEL for me and we still dearly miss him, I just could NOT watch him act like a zombie anymore on all those meds and Mom go on and on about how "awful" he was for her.

I would call CPS at this point, I remember this mom and all the tests she put those kids through. It sounds like munchausen by proxy (sp).

Having a special needs child is NO picnic, I can't imagine her reasoning behind this other than mental illness.
So far, as far as I know, the boys aren't on any meds. I only have older bro as a drop in once in a blue moon now.

I think she likes attention or to feel like she is needed or something, I can't figure out why she would want both boys have special needs. Probably mental illness on her part.

If I call CPS, what would I tell them? I only have what the dcm says to go by. The only thing that I have physically witnessed was when dcb comes in dirty.

I wonder why none of the doctor's have caught on?.
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Old 11-14-2014, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by CraftyMom View Post
Just a thought, a horrible one, but it crossed my mind. Did the child actually take these meds? I'm hoping mom wasn't using the child to obtain meds for her own misuse or to sell them. I know, sounds bad, but sooooo many people use false complaints to obtain meds. Especially these kinds of meds, where you can't refill until your 30 days are up. Mom or dad may have been filling dcg's scripts in addition to their own to get extra meds
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Old 11-14-2014, 12:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I had a similar situation with a perfectly normal, albeit slightly undisciplined dcb. He's on 4 meds, and I cut ties last summer. He was an ANGEL for me and we still dearly miss him, I just could NOT watch him act like a zombie anymore on all those meds and Mom go on and on about how "awful" he was for her.

I would call CPS at this point, I remember this mom and all the tests she put those kids through. It sounds like munchausen by proxy (sp).

Having a special needs child is NO picnic, I can't imagine her reasoning behind this other than mental illness.
This is exactly my thoughts, munchausen by proxy syndrome is what this sounds like to me. Poor dcb
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Old 11-14-2014, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by CraftyMom View Post
Just a thought, a horrible one, but it crossed my mind. Did the child actually take these meds? I'm hoping mom wasn't using the child to obtain meds for her own misuse or to sell them. I know, sounds bad, but sooooo many people use false complaints to obtain meds. Especially these kinds of meds, where you can't refill until your 30 days are up. Mom or dad may have been filling dcg's scripts in addition to their own to get extra meds
I wondered about DCM maybe taking them (DCD isn't around much-I only ever met him once in about 8 years), but job wise and such she's got it pretty much together, so I don't think she's a Rx drug addict. I'd be really shocked if she was selling them. The alternating zombie/schizo DCG was turning into indicated she was in fact taking them. The icing on the cake was DCM excusing DCGs future promiscuity as a side effect of the medication. Uh, please keep her away from my sons, thank you!
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Old 11-14-2014, 05:57 PM
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http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%...drome_by_proxy

Münchausen syndrome by proxy (MSBP or MBP) is a behaviour pattern in which a caregiver fabricates, exaggerates, or induces health problems in those who are in their care.[1] With deception at its core, this behaviour is an elusive, potentially lethal, and frequently misunderstood form of child abuse[2] or medical neglect[3] that has been difficult to define, detect, and confirm.

MSbP has also spawned much heated controversy within the legal and social services communities. In a handful of high-profile cases, mothers who have had multiple children die from sudden infant death syndrome have been declared to have MSbP. Based on MSbP testimony of an expert witness, they were tried for murder, convicted, and imprisoned for several years. In some cases, that testimony was later impeached, resulting in acquittal of those defendants.[4]
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