Dcg never eats her food. She plays with it, then throws it on the floor within two minutes. Once she throws, I promptly remove plate, wipe her off, and scoot her back away from the table so she can’t reach it. I gnome her and move forward with lunch. She doesn’t care...AT ALL. She sits there distracting the other kids from eating, nothing more. She’s not upset, just loud and encourages the other kids to act out. I don’t want to remove her from the table because then she’ll think throwing food is rewarded. I’m trying to bore her into having good manners but it’s not working and creating a bigger problem. If she were throwing a fit, I’d take her to bed. This isn’t the case. Thoughts?

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How old is DCG? What time is lunch? What other meals do you serve, breakfast, snack etc? What times are they? Does she do this at all meals?

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11.5 months old

I serve:
Breakfast 8:00
Bottle 11:00
Lunch 11:30
Bottle 3:30
PM snack 4:00

She does it at every meal. She MIGHT occasionally taste something but then throws it.

I have two other babies her age or younger and they eat “real food” just fine!

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Does she drink the bottle? How much? Maybe she is getting full from the bottle.

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Some kids it just takes longer to grasp table food. I would try the bottles after the meals and see if that helps.

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She does drink the bottle (5-6 oz). The other young ones do too though and still love to eat at meal times. Should I decrease her bottle sizes? She has never really eaten much of anything I’ve given her to eat so I’ve learned to accept that, along with her parents who have the same experience with her at home. She was eating some jarred foods but I discontinued serving those a while ago and it hasn’t been an issue for the others. They prefer the “big kid” food.

The bigger question I’m looking for help with is what should I do to encourage wanted mealtime behavior? Ignoring it isn’t changing a thing because she gets the reaction she’s looking for from the other kids when she’s being loud. If I hush her, she laughs at me...and she’s so darn cute! I make a huge spectacle when I get a wanted behavior from her too. She just doesn’t care about eating, so maybe I won’t get any results from her until she does?

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Switch the bottles to after meals. Give her one bite of each component on her tray, no plate, nothing more until she eats them. If she acts crazy or distracts the group, I would move her out of the way (but still within eyesight) and ignore her behavior. She would get ZERO attention for it.

At that age, she should be on mostly food, seeing as how many parents wean off formula/bm at a year.

How does she eat at home? are they feeding her?

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I wouldn’t worry about her not eating too much. She should be getting all the calories and nutrients she needs from the formula still. Sometimes it just takes them longer to garnish and interest in table foods. I’m assuming she just started them within the last few months? Under one is a little harder to associate good manners and expected behavior. I’m not saying they can’t learn that young but they can’t yet associate right from wrong at that young of an age. Just rinse and repeat and she’ll get the hang of it eventually.

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Good idea! I’ll try switching it around. I originally scheduled it this way because I knew babies are supposed to get most nutrients from formula/breast milk but since they are nearing age one, it shouldn’t matter as much. Thanks!

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Thanks! She eats exactly the same way at home. They tell me they put things in front of her and she doesn’t eat it. Her mother wants to switch her to whole milk right at one which is why I’m getting concerned. This has been ongoing for four months. I’ve been very patient but we are running out of time haha!

I already put the food components in front of her, just as you suggest. Are you saying you wouldn’t even give the bottle unless she’s eaten her food? I like the idea of moving her away from the group. I can just move her chair with her strapped in so she can’t play and isn’t “rewarded” by getting down but still can’t distract. 👍🏼

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Oh I just realized in my original post I said “remove plate”. That was an error. I rarely put a plate in front of her. I do for some of my good eaters. Just food placed directly on the table for her. I push the food away from her when she throws it.

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I think she's already full.

I'd feed the bottle AFTER lunch.

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For us, nap time is after lunch, so when child does this I just say..."Oh, you're done with lunch, time for bed. " and I put them to bed.

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Also, “gnome” in the original post should say “ignore”...I should really proofread more! 😂😂😂

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I'm wondering if I would consider leaving the table as reward. I'm wondering how others on here would weigh in on that.

All my children are allowed to leave after they are done. Sometimes slower (like the last one left at the table) eaters are hurried along with a warning that the meal is almost over so they can get it in quick if they want to.

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I had this same child. He sat in a highchair though, not at the table with the rest of the kids. Whenever he would act crazy I would turn his highchair around to face the wall instead of the kids. He never ate but i didnt worry about it. The child wont starve, if shes hungry she will eat. I agree not to give a bottle before meals. The formula should be in a sippy cup IMO. I transition out of a bottle by a year.

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I just mean that I don’t want her to associate throwing food with getting to play.

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I wouldn't think that she'd associate it that way. Think of it more as a signal that she's done and put her down. Play should be her "normal" rather than a treat. So when she's no longer eating, then she's done at the table and she goes back to normal.

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Good way to think about it! Thanks.

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Do you have rest or nap time immediately after lunch time?

If so, when she is done and ready to get down from the table have her go directly to rest/nap time verses going to play.

Being allowed to go play could be distracting to the other kids and possible lure them into wanting to be done before they really are just so they can go play too. kwim?

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It wasn’t directly after because she was on a two nap schedule. Second nap not until 1pm but as of today I’m trying her on a single nap starting at 12-12:30 so I’ll probably try this suggestion. She’s never really slept during first nap anyway. Thanks!

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I would stop bottle until after lunch. And offer milk in a cup all other times. At 12 mo I'd stop bottle too.

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I know this was for slightly older kids (18 months on up), but when I worked at a daycare where students had a school lunch that included milk, I never served milk when I initially served the food.

Say lunch was chicken nuggets, brown rice, green beans, and milk. I would, first, serve the green beans and wait a few minutes. That way, if the kids were REALLY hungry, they'd take a few bites (otherwise, they would often fill up on the meat and grain). Afterwards, I'd serve the rest of the food (in reverse order of how the kids would eat them if they had them on their own).

I allowed water cups at the table from the start, but milk was not served until near the end of the meal. If I served it at the beginning, the kids often drank their milk and did not eat.

Maybe you can try something like that. No milk/bottles for any of the children until after 15-20 minutes of eating. At 11.5 months, DCG should be ok with drinking her bottle in the same way an older child would drink milk- sitting at the table.

I do agree that she's probably still full. Switching meal and bottle times would probably help. Another option would be to extend the gap between meals and bottle time in addition to switching. (ie: Lunch at 11, Bottle at 12- or keep Lunch at 11:30 and offer the bottle at 12:30). I would probably go with having a larger gap between meals and bottle. If she knows she's getting a bottle right after lunch, she may decide to keep refusing food and just hold out for her bottle, but if she doesn't have a bottle immediately after meals, she might give in.

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I do not allow to infants to take food by their hands. If they are not able to feed themselves by using a spoon I or my teacher assistance feed them. They get (if they get) their bottles after eating solid food. I prefer to use a regular cup as early as possible. Usually it is 8-9 mo age.

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Here in TN we have to allow infants to try and feed themselves part of each meal once they are on table food... that includes picking things up with their hands like small diced fruit or cooked vegetables.

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How do you teach them to use silverware?

I provide open cups (no lids) and silverware as soon as they begin sitting in the high chair but most my kiddos start with holding the utensil in one hand and eating with the other and then they begin to learn how to get the food onto the utensil; (some using their hands to place it there) and then with lots of practice, role modeling and assistance when needed they become fairly proficient with using utensils.

I am curious how you teach your littles if you don't allow them to take food with their hands?

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