Daycare.com Forum Daycare Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-15-2020, 07:10 AM
twirlerzmom's Avatar
twirlerzmom twirlerzmom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 12
Default Hitting, Pushing (Long)

I have a 2.5 yr dcg that constantly pushes, hits, snatches, and kicks the other kids, but mostly another dcg who is the same age. The other girl is mild tempered and ends up walking away, crying, so the other gets what she wants. Now she’s even starting to do the same to my 1 yr dcg but she’s not a pushover and will fight back. I’m at my wits end with this girl. I’ve tried redirection, explaining gentle touches, made her be my friend only, given her a box of toys and separated her from the group, talked with the parents. She continues the behavior. One day the other girl said she had to go potty, started heading to the bathroom when the feisty girl who was at the complete other side of the room screams “NO MY TURN” and literally runs to the bathroom and knocks this other girl to the floor. Now mind you she’s not even serious about using the bathroom. She’s still in a pull up! But she must be first in everything, have everything or she will throw a fit. The other day we were outside and she was sitting on the swing when the mild girl walked around the swing so feisty one kicked her square in the face....with her pointy toed cowboy boots on! Yesterday she had a great day right up til when Dad came today pick up. She ran to the mild girl and shoved her right down to the ground. Dad saw it. He yelled at her and told her to come sit down. She just ran to him crying and wanted to be picked up. Dad told her to sit down. She wasn’t listening so I made her sit down in front of dad. This morning she threw a fit because her brother was first to have his temp taken. 20 mins later she asked for a banana at breakfast so I gave her one, then she shoved it away and said she doesn’t want it. She touched it so I had to throw it away. Then she threw a fit so I removed her from the table. When she calmed down I invited her back to eat but then she said she didn’t want to eat do her breakfast went in the trash. How do I handle her?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-15-2020, 08:30 AM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 8,970
Default

Buh bye kid! No one kicks a kid in the face on my watch and if I was not seeing any improvement in behaviour she needs to go. This is going to severely affect the self esteem of the mild mannered child in your care and that trumps all else in my opinion.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-15-2020, 08:50 AM
rosieteddy's Avatar
rosieteddy rosieteddy is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,273
Default

I would set up a separate playspace.I used a pen.Tell her on arrival you expect nice playing.First offense she goes in "clubhouse "with a book (preferably soft).After 15 min another chance,if misbehaves then back she goes.Hopefully won't take forever to get the message across.Also cowboy boots would not be allowed .
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-15-2020, 09:09 AM
littlefriends's Avatar
littlefriends littlefriends is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
Buh bye kid! No one kicks a kid in the face on my watch and if I was not seeing any improvement in behaviour she needs to go. This is going to severely affect the self esteem of the mild mannered child in your care and that trumps all else in my opinion.
This.
If you have talked to the parents then they won't be surprised to receive their termination of daycare services letter. It's not fair to the other kids or their parents or you because she is taking up too much of your attention and time. They expect their kiddos to be safe in your care and it sounds like this girl just isn't on board with your expectations, for whatever reasons.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-15-2020, 09:09 AM
twirlerzmom's Avatar
twirlerzmom twirlerzmom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 12
Default

I forgot to add I told the parents she is not allowed to wear boots anymore. Only soft rubber tennis shoes.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-15-2020, 09:11 AM
littlefriends's Avatar
littlefriends littlefriends is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosieteddy View Post
I would set up a separate playspace.I used a pen.Tell her on arrival you expect nice playing.First offense she goes in "clubhouse "with a book (preferably soft).After 15 min another chance,if misbehaves then back she goes.Hopefully won't take forever to get the message across.Also cowboy boots would not be allowed .
I'd go this route if I wasn't able to afford to term but I would definitely be actively looking and advertising to replace her asap.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-15-2020, 12:32 PM
e.j.'s Avatar
e.j. e.j. is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,681
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosieteddy View Post
I would set up a separate playspace.I used a pen.Tell her on arrival you expect nice playing.First offense she goes in "clubhouse "with a book (preferably soft).After 15 min another chance,if misbehaves then back she goes.Hopefully won't take forever to get the message across.Also cowboy boots would not be allowed .
I would try something like this first but if the behavior kept up, I'd term. In the 20+ years I've done child care, I've rarely termed anyone. Since this past November, though, I've termed 2 kids because of behavior like you describe. It got to a point where the other kids would scream and cower as soon as either one of the kids entered my day care room. It wasn't fair to them. I don't know if I'm just losing patience as I get older or if kids are just behaving worse these days but in both cases, I found that terming was the best decision I could have made. I felt bad because in both cases, I really liked the parents and wanted it to work out but the immediate stress relief the other kids and I felt once both of these kids left, was amazing!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-16-2020, 03:39 PM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 8,970
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by twirlerzmom View Post
I forgot to add I told the parents she is not allowed to wear boots anymore. Only soft rubber tennis shoes.
Is getting kicked in the face by a rubber tennis shoe somehow better? I don’t understand the logic.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-20-2020, 06:47 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

The kick in the face would have meant immediate termination for me. And if I was the parent of the child being bullied and this girl wasn't terminated, I would pull my daughter immediately.

I dealt with a child like this recently. I just won't tolerate ongoing behavior that hurts the other kids in my care.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-20-2020, 09:14 AM
Former Teacher's Avatar
Former Teacher Former Teacher is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 1,305
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by twirlerzmom View Post
I have a 2.5 yr dcg that constantly pushes, hits, snatches, and kicks the other kids, but mostly another dcg who is the same age. The other girl is mild tempered and ends up walking away, crying, so the other gets what she wants. Now she’s even starting to do the same to my 1 yr dcg but she’s not a pushover and will fight back. I’m at my wits end with this girl. I’ve tried redirection, explaining gentle touches, made her be my friend only, given her a box of toys and separated her from the group, talked with the parents. She continues the behavior. One day the other girl said she had to go potty, started heading to the bathroom when the feisty girl who was at the complete other side of the room screams “NO MY TURN” and literally runs to the bathroom and knocks this other girl to the floor. Now mind you she’s not even serious about using the bathroom. She’s still in a pull up! But she must be first in everything, have everything or she will throw a fit. The other day we were outside and she was sitting on the swing when the mild girl walked around the swing so feisty one kicked her square in the face....with her pointy toed cowboy boots on! Yesterday she had a great day right up til when Dad came today pick up. She ran to the mild girl and shoved her right down to the ground. Dad saw it. He yelled at her and told her to come sit down. She just ran to him crying and wanted to be picked up. Dad told her to sit down. She wasn’t listening so I made her sit down in front of dad. This morning she threw a fit because her brother was first to have his temp taken. 20 mins later she asked for a banana at breakfast so I gave her one, then she shoved it away and said she doesn’t want it. She touched it so I had to throw it away. Then she threw a fit so I removed her from the table. When she calmed down I invited her back to eat but then she said she didn’t want to eat do her breakfast went in the trash. How do I handle her?
That would be an immediate termination for me as well. Children shouldn't have to worry about whether or not they are going to get hurt at a place where they should be protected. Esp. by an almost 3 year old bully.

Quote:
Originally Posted by twirlerzmom View Post
I forgot to add I told the parents she is not allowed to wear boots anymore. Only soft rubber tennis shoes.
We once had a bully at my former center. The director was all about money so she didn't care about this.

He also was 3 years old. He would kick etc as well. He especially was kicking more when he had his cowboy boots on.

Finally I took off his boots and just let him run around in socks. He didn't like it but oh well. When his mother came to pick him up, she was wondering why his boots were off. I explained to her that he wouldn't stop kicking his friends and instead of keeping him in time out for 12 hours of the day, his boots were off. "It might be best to have him wear tennis shoes".

She got witchy with me..."You are NOT going to tell me how to dress my child!".....umm don't go there! "I am NOT telling you how to dress L. I am telling you about his day with his friends." The next day....yep...he wore boots! And yep, he was in socks again.

Long story short...he was playing with something in the cabin outside. My sister, who was working with me, saw it and got it. It was a freaking POCKET KNIFE.

The Director came in and I told her "you know, I live with the kicks, the hits, and the spits. But I draw the line when it comes to this". Her eyes were She said " I am calling her now"

Mom of course laughed it off. "Oh silly! He must have grabbed it out of my purse when I wasn't looking". She completely blew it off. The Director said "if this was the school district, he would have been suspended for bringing a weapon" and then she gave some excuse. The Director said that he needed to be picked up immediately and that she needed to find care for him. Enough was enough.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
behavior - aggressive, behavior observation tool, behavior plan, provider responsibility, supervision - active vs. passive, terminate - bad behavior, violence in child care

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How long for a 4yr old to adjust? Christina72684 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 5 04-11-2014 11:51 AM
2.5yo hitting gracepatiencelove Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 1 01-08-2014 07:40 PM
Going To Be A Long, Long Day Country Kids Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 6 09-26-2012 11:01 AM
Drinks All Day Long In Sippy Cups Or Just During Meals? MaritimeMummy Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 40 08-31-2012 04:15 PM
How Long Do We Keep Stuff? Blackcat31 Daycare and Taxes 6 08-28-2012 08:13 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:09 AM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming