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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Bracing for the Storm
Unregistered 12:28 PM 05-01-2014
Not a weather storm. A parent storm. I have a family who terminated me, without an end date. I gave them an end date, so now they say that I terminated them, and they do not owe me for an additional week per my contract.
Today she put polite nasty notes to all the parents in the kids' cubbies. Supposedly to "keep in touch and say goodbye" but also announcing where dcg will be going in glowing terms. Even though she told me she's very concerned that it's an "inferior daycare" and that I pushed them to that. Notes say several untrue things about me and how things went at the end. Anyway. She understands privacy policy because of where she works, and knows that I can't lawfully defend myself to my current families.
I have spent endless hours on this dcf. They are very unorganized and make my job harder than it has to be in so many ways. I worked hard to stay polite and professional, and still hold my ground.
I also spent hours in the past two weeks with a soon-to-begin dcf who just experienced a sudden illness and death in the family. Took their baby, talked to dcps and listened. I feel like I already know them, and I don't mind helping. It was all so hard for them to process. A new baby, and a death.
But it is all a big emotional mass of I-don't-know-what, kwim? I am exhausted.
Today she put polite nasty notes to all the parents in the kids' cubbies. Supposedly to "keep in touch and say goodbye" but also announcing where dcg will be going in glowing terms. Even though she told me she's very concerned that it's an "inferior daycare" and that I pushed them to that. Notes say several untrue things about me and how things went at the end. Anyway. She understands privacy policy because of where she works, and knows that I can't lawfully defend myself to my current families.
I have spent endless hours on this dcf. They are very unorganized and make my job harder than it has to be in so many ways. I worked hard to stay polite and professional, and still hold my ground.
I also spent hours in the past two weeks with a soon-to-begin dcf who just experienced a sudden illness and death in the family. Took their baby, talked to dcps and listened. I feel like I already know them, and I don't mind helping. It was all so hard for them to process. A new baby, and a death.
But it is all a big emotional mass of I-don't-know-what, kwim? I am exhausted.
Kabob 12:35 PM 05-01-2014
Um....isn't it illegal to be slandering your business like that and harassing the other parents? If she is still there, kick her out and give your licensor a heads up....
And I thought I had crazy parents...goodness I would be livid...
And I thought I had crazy parents...goodness I would be livid...
craftymissbeth 12:41 PM 05-01-2014
Oh heck no! There's no way if pit up with that another minute. Putting notes with untrue things about me in MY cubbies for my current DCP's?! No way!
Did you find them before your families saw them or did someone bring it to your attention?
Did you find them before your families saw them or did someone bring it to your attention?
Unregistered 12:46 PM 05-01-2014
I found them. Dcm brought a boatload of treats and goodies for everyone, with weird cards that say stuff like "my first crush". I think she thought she would overwhelm with "goodness" and I would be so busy sorting out her hot mess that I wouldn't look in the cubbies? Or that I am that duh? I know what's going on around here, believe me. I have had to check for meds & other stuff in her kids diaper bag for years.
butterfly 12:49 PM 05-01-2014
I'd remove all notes and hand them back to the parent. There is no way I'd allow that in my home.
That type of communication can be done outside of your business!
That type of communication can be done outside of your business!
NeedaVaca 12:52 PM 05-01-2014
I would have taken them out of the cubbies! I don't see how she has the right to do that in your house and your place of business? I guess I could be wrong but I don't see how that would be unlawful, to not allow her to do that on your property and place of business...
craftymissbeth 01:08 PM 05-01-2014
Wait, did you put them back in the cubbies?!
Unregistered 01:13 PM 05-01-2014
No. Out. I am reading it to try to determine if it is libelous. (Is that a word?)
saved4always 01:13 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I'd remove all notes and hand them back to the parent. There is no way I'd allow that in my home.
That type of communication can be done outside of your business!
Yes, this....tell her she cannot use the cubbies in YOUR home as mailboxes for letters of any kind, especially ones that slander you. She can mail the letters to the parents herself if she wants to send them so much. And don't give her any addresses. She can find them herself, including last names if she doesn't have them. What a "B".I'd remove all notes and hand them back to the parent. There is no way I'd allow that in my home.
That type of communication can be done outside of your business!
CraftyMom 01:19 PM 05-01-2014
Wow! Just wow! Is this her last day? If not it should be!
Heidi 01:20 PM 05-01-2014
I think you can say that dck will no longer be there, that you can't give details, but to please take anything they here with a grain of salt.
Something like:
"I'm just letting everyone know that today was dck's last day. I can't really say much, but as I'm sure you realize that there are two sides to every story, and some hurt feelings here. If you have any concerns, please talk to me. Otherwise, I'm going to consider the subject closed".
You KNOW she's going to call or FB the other parents. I'd give them a heads-up, without any details.
I might also mention that you've contacted you licenser, and that she's aware of the situation. That's telling them something, without telling them anything...lol
Something like:
"I'm just letting everyone know that today was dck's last day. I can't really say much, but as I'm sure you realize that there are two sides to every story, and some hurt feelings here. If you have any concerns, please talk to me. Otherwise, I'm going to consider the subject closed".
You KNOW she's going to call or FB the other parents. I'd give them a heads-up, without any details.
I might also mention that you've contacted you licenser, and that she's aware of the situation. That's telling them something, without telling them anything...lol
sharlan 01:25 PM 05-01-2014
Pull the flyers out of the cubbies, save one for your analyst, and give the rest back to the parents.
The parents know the truth.
The parents know the truth.
Play Care 02:29 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
I think you can say that dck will no longer be there, that you can't give details, but to please take anything they here with a grain of salt.
Something like:
"I'm just letting everyone know that today was dck's last day. I can't really say much, but as I'm sure you realize that there are two sides to every story, and some hurt feelings here. If you have any concerns, please talk to me. Otherwise, I'm going to consider the subject closed".
You KNOW she's going to call or FB the other parents. I'd give them a heads-up, without any details.
I might also mention that you've contacted you licenser, and that she's aware of the situation. That's telling them something, without telling them anything...lol
I think you can say that dck will no longer be there, that you can't give details, but to please take anything they here with a grain of salt.
Something like:
"I'm just letting everyone know that today was dck's last day. I can't really say much, but as I'm sure you realize that there are two sides to every story, and some hurt feelings here. If you have any concerns, please talk to me. Otherwise, I'm going to consider the subject closed".
You KNOW she's going to call or FB the other parents. I'd give them a heads-up, without any details.
I might also mention that you've contacted you licenser, and that she's aware of the situation. That's telling them something, without telling them anything...lol
MarinaVanessa 03:43 PM 05-01-2014
I would pull them out, make photo copies of them, send copies to my licensor and say nothing more. If for whatever reasons DCM asks you what happened to them I would say "Oh, I found them and due to certain things that were written in them about me I sent them to licensing. Here is their number, feel free to call them and discuss them with licensing" if she nags about how they weren't yours to take I'd say "you and I both know that many of the cards had fabricated information. I showed them and your file to licensing an an attorney. I chose to remove them to save you and I the hassle of a civil suit" the end.
Either that or "what cards?"
Either that or "what cards?"
Heidi 03:53 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
I would pull them out, make photo copies of them, send copies to my licensor and say nothing more. If for whatever reasons DCM asks you what happened to them I would say "Oh, I found them and due to certain things that were written in them about me I sent them to licensing. Here is their number, feel free to call them and discuss them with licensing" if she nags about how they weren't yours to take I'd say "you and I both know that many of the cards had fabricated information. I showed them and your file to licensing an an attorney. I chose to remove them to save you and I the hassle of a civil suit" the end.
Either that or "what cards?"
I would pull them out, make photo copies of them, send copies to my licensor and say nothing more. If for whatever reasons DCM asks you what happened to them I would say "Oh, I found them and due to certain things that were written in them about me I sent them to licensing. Here is their number, feel free to call them and discuss them with licensing" if she nags about how they weren't yours to take I'd say "you and I both know that many of the cards had fabricated information. I showed them and your file to licensing an an attorney. I chose to remove them to save you and I the hassle of a civil suit" the end.
Either that or "what cards?"
sharlan 03:56 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
I would pull them out, make photo copies of them, send copies to my licensor and say nothing more. If for whatever reasons DCM asks you what happened to them I would say "Oh, I found them and due to certain things that were written in them about me I sent them to licensing. Here is their number, feel free to call them and discuss them with licensing" if she nags about how they weren't yours to take I'd say "you and I both know that many of the cards had fabricated information. I showed them and your file to licensing an an attorney. I chose to remove them to save you and I the hassle of a civil suit" the end.
Either that or "what cards?"
I wouldn't say that I showed them to an atty. That would be an outright lie.I would pull them out, make photo copies of them, send copies to my licensor and say nothing more. If for whatever reasons DCM asks you what happened to them I would say "Oh, I found them and due to certain things that were written in them about me I sent them to licensing. Here is their number, feel free to call them and discuss them with licensing" if she nags about how they weren't yours to take I'd say "you and I both know that many of the cards had fabricated information. I showed them and your file to licensing an an attorney. I chose to remove them to save you and I the hassle of a civil suit" the end.
Either that or "what cards?"
I would tell the parent that I sent a copy to licensing, though.
MarinaVanessa 04:04 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I wouldn't say that I showed them to an atty. That would be an outright lie.
DCM started it!! I wouldn't say that I showed them to an atty. That would be an outright lie.
NightOwl 04:11 PM 05-01-2014
Ooooohhhhhh hell no she didn't!! Can you share the letter with us?
TaylorTots 04:12 PM 05-01-2014
Terming her immediately would negate the money they owe you for the last week, right? Maybe that is what she is trying to get you to do.
drseuss 04:21 PM 05-01-2014
I am not normally like this, but right now all I can think is, "Hold my earrings."
CraftyMom 04:26 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by drseuss:
I am not normally like this, but right now all I can think is, "Hold my earrings."
I am not normally like this, but right now all I can think is, "Hold my earrings."
cheerfuldom 04:26 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by drseuss:
I am not normally like this, but right now all I can think is, "Hold my earrings."
ha ha, get it girl! I am not normally like this, but right now all I can think is, "Hold my earrings."
seriously though this situation is down right crazy! gah!
sharlan 05:17 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
DCM started it!!
Buuuut, we're grown-ups who don't behave like children who have babies.DCM started it!!
(Just kidding.)
Unregistered 08:21 PM 05-01-2014
Thanks you crazy dcps
So apparently dcm stood outside my door handing out notes as people came in and then put them in cubbies also. One parent emailed me about it later, said she read the first line and discounted the rest. One told me about having it handed to her and said not to worry.
No wonder bad dcm left uneventfully in the evening, she had already done her dirty work. She didn't ask about the notes, and I pulled the majority of them. I also had backup from a former dcd who came over and stayed in my entry at pickup time, "just visiting". He only knew that I asked him to, not why.
Have not decided yet if I should tell licensing. Or if I should pursue financially. But if. I. ever. see. them. on. my. property. again. Hold my earrings I only think I know what that means
Thanks for the support and for lightening the mood. It helps. I just don't have to deal with people like this very often. I am very fortunate, I know. And beginning next week I might feel fortunate again.
So apparently dcm stood outside my door handing out notes as people came in and then put them in cubbies also. One parent emailed me about it later, said she read the first line and discounted the rest. One told me about having it handed to her and said not to worry.
No wonder bad dcm left uneventfully in the evening, she had already done her dirty work. She didn't ask about the notes, and I pulled the majority of them. I also had backup from a former dcd who came over and stayed in my entry at pickup time, "just visiting". He only knew that I asked him to, not why.
Have not decided yet if I should tell licensing. Or if I should pursue financially. But if. I. ever. see. them. on. my. property. again. Hold my earrings
I only think I know what that means Thanks for the support and for lightening the mood. It helps. I just don't have to deal with people like this very often. I am very fortunate, I know. And beginning next week I might feel fortunate again.
Josiegirl 03:09 AM 05-02-2014
Cannot believe the gall of some people!! I'm so glad the parents who spoke to you about it, didn't pay much attention to her though. They're realizing her for what she is, a whacknut.
Play Care 03:33 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by drseuss:
I am not normally like this, but right now all I can think is, "Hold my earrings."
I am not normally like this, but right now all I can think is, "Hold my earrings."
coolconfidentme 03:50 AM 05-02-2014
Send her a cease & desist letter immediately!! I recently sent one out to a DCM I termed. It's very powerful & states If she doesn't comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period I have a right to sue her. She signed the attached agreement saying she will stop. BAM!!!
I can share it if you want it....
I can share it if you want it....
CraftyMom 04:52 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Have not decided yet if I should tell licensing.
Absolutely tell licensing! Not to have anything come of it, just to let them know in case she goes there next!Have not decided yet if I should tell licensing.
Unregistered 05:23 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
Send her a cease & desist letter immediately!! I recently sent one out to a DCM I termed. It's very powerful & states If she doesn't comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period I have a right to sue her. She signed the attached agreement saying she will stop. BAM!!!
I can share it if you want it....
Would you really? Please, and thanksSend her a cease & desist letter immediately!! I recently sent one out to a DCM I termed. It's very powerful & states If she doesn't comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period I have a right to sue her. She signed the attached agreement saying she will stop. BAM!!!
I can share it if you want it....
Play Care 05:30 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
Absolutely tell licensing! Not to have anything come of it, just to let them know in case she goes there next!
Absolutely tell licensing! Not to have anything come of it, just to let them know in case she goes there next!
I don't even think this should be a debate in your mind. Call your licensor and let her know the facts (mom gave notice but didn't want to set a date, wasn't following policy so you set a date for her, and then she sent out notices to the other parents.) Chances are that the mom has already called licensing herself. Always better to beat them to the punch so they have the heads up. But even if she doesn't it's another way to CYA!
Good Luck!
coolconfidentme 05:31 AM 05-02-2014
Date
DCM
Her Address
You have engaged in spreading false, destructive, and defamatory rumors about myself & my business, Daycare Name.
Under Indiana law, it is unlawful to engage in defamation of another’s character and reputation. Defamation consists of
1. a communication with defamatory imputation;
2. malice;
3. publication; and
4. damages.
Your defamatory statements involved written libelous statements on Internet sites & slanderous statements in public forms.
Accordingly, I demand that you (A) immediately cease and desist your defamation of myself, Daycare Name & its employees, (B) remove all defamatory statements on all Internet sites and (C) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10) days that you will cease and desist from further defamation myself, Daycare Name & employees’ character and reputation.
If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, myself, Daycare Name & its employees are entitled by law to seek monetary damages and equitable relief for your defamation. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be advised I may pursue all available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees. Your liability and exposure under such legal action could be considerable.
Before taking these steps, I wished to give you one opportunity to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days. Accordingly, please sign and return the attached Defamation Settlement Agreement within ten (10) days to;
Daycare Name
Address
Phone
I recommend that you consult with an attorney regarding this matter. If you or your attorney have any questions, please contact me directly.
Sincerely,
ME!
DCM
Her Address
You have engaged in spreading false, destructive, and defamatory rumors about myself & my business, Daycare Name.
Under Indiana law, it is unlawful to engage in defamation of another’s character and reputation. Defamation consists of
1. a communication with defamatory imputation;
2. malice;
3. publication; and
4. damages.
Your defamatory statements involved written libelous statements on Internet sites & slanderous statements in public forms.
Accordingly, I demand that you (A) immediately cease and desist your defamation of myself, Daycare Name & its employees, (B) remove all defamatory statements on all Internet sites and (C) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10) days that you will cease and desist from further defamation myself, Daycare Name & employees’ character and reputation.
If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, myself, Daycare Name & its employees are entitled by law to seek monetary damages and equitable relief for your defamation. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be advised I may pursue all available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees. Your liability and exposure under such legal action could be considerable.
Before taking these steps, I wished to give you one opportunity to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days. Accordingly, please sign and return the attached Defamation Settlement Agreement within ten (10) days to;
Daycare Name
Address
Phone
I recommend that you consult with an attorney regarding this matter. If you or your attorney have any questions, please contact me directly.
Sincerely,
ME!
coolconfidentme 05:33 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
Date
DCM
Her Address
You have engaged in spreading false, destructive, and defamatory rumors about myself & my business, Daycare Name.
Under Indiana law, it is unlawful to engage in defamation of another’s character and reputation. Defamation consists of
1. a communication with defamatory imputation;
2. malice;
3. publication; and
4. damages.
Your defamatory statements involved written libelous statements on Internet sites & slanderous statements in public forms.
Accordingly, I demand that you (A) immediately cease and desist your defamation of myself, Daycare Name & its employees, (B) remove all defamatory statements on all Internet sites and (C) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10) days that you will cease and desist from further defamation myself, Daycare Name & employees’ character and reputation.
If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, myself, Daycare Name & its employees are entitled by law to seek monetary damages and equitable relief for your defamation. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be advised I may pursue all available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees. Your liability and exposure under such legal action could be considerable.
Before taking these steps, I wished to give you one opportunity to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days. Accordingly, please sign and return the attached Defamation Settlement Agreement within ten (10) days to;
Daycare Name
Address
Phone
I recommend that you consult with an attorney regarding this matter. If you or your attorney have any questions, please contact me directly.
Sincerely,
ME!
THIS IS WHAT I ATTACHED & SHE SIGNED/RETURNED TO ME.Date
DCM
Her Address
You have engaged in spreading false, destructive, and defamatory rumors about myself & my business, Daycare Name.
Under Indiana law, it is unlawful to engage in defamation of another’s character and reputation. Defamation consists of
1. a communication with defamatory imputation;
2. malice;
3. publication; and
4. damages.
Your defamatory statements involved written libelous statements on Internet sites & slanderous statements in public forms.
Accordingly, I demand that you (A) immediately cease and desist your defamation of myself, Daycare Name & its employees, (B) remove all defamatory statements on all Internet sites and (C) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10) days that you will cease and desist from further defamation myself, Daycare Name & employees’ character and reputation.
If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, myself, Daycare Name & its employees are entitled by law to seek monetary damages and equitable relief for your defamation. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be advised I may pursue all available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees. Your liability and exposure under such legal action could be considerable.
Before taking these steps, I wished to give you one opportunity to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days. Accordingly, please sign and return the attached Defamation Settlement Agreement within ten (10) days to;
Daycare Name
Address
Phone
I recommend that you consult with an attorney regarding this matter. If you or your attorney have any questions, please contact me directly.
Sincerely,
ME!
Defamation Settlement Agreement
I, DCM, agree to immediately cease and desist defamation of ME, Daycare Name
& its employees’ character and reputation in exchange for ME, Daycare Name & its employees releasing any and all claims against me for defamation. In the event this agreement is breached by me, ME, Daycare Name & its employees will be entitled to costs and attorney’s fees in any action brought to enforce this agreement and shall be free to pursue all rights that ME, Daycare Name & employees had as of the date of this letter as if this letter had never been signed.
This Defamation Settlement Agreement made and entered into this _________________ day of ____________________________, 20____,
(Print)________________________________________________________________________.
Sign: ______________________________________________________________________________
Date: _______________________________________
coolconfidentme 05:34 AM 05-02-2014
Doctor it up the way you see fits..., I hope it helps!!
Unregistered 05:44 AM 05-02-2014
Thank you very much.
coolconfidentme 05:47 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thank you very much.
Anytime!!!Thank you very much.
Heidi 06:34 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I don't even think this should be a debate in your mind. Call your licensor and let her know the facts (mom gave notice but didn't want to set a date, wasn't following policy so you set a date for her, and then she sent out notices to the other parents.) Chances are that the mom has already called licensing herself. Always better to beat them to the punch so they have the heads up. But even if she doesn't it's another way to CYA!
Good Luck!
Yes, PLEASE do this. You are not calling to report her; they have no power over her. You are calling to protect yourself. A false allegation of any kind will always be met with I don't even think this should be a debate in your mind. Call your licensor and let her know the facts (mom gave notice but didn't want to set a date, wasn't following policy so you set a date for her, and then she sent out notices to the other parents.) Chances are that the mom has already called licensing herself. Always better to beat them to the punch so they have the heads up. But even if she doesn't it's another way to CYA!
Good Luck!
is licensing already knows about the situation. Just give her a BRIEF rundown (voice mail is fine). "Hi, this is daycare provider ... I just wanted to make a quick call to let you know that I've had a situation with a parent. There were some policy breaking issues, so we've terminated our care arrangement. However, DCM is not so happy about this, and may call you. If you need any details, please feel free to call me or stop by" No drama...just a "heads up"
Heidi 06:39 AM 05-02-2014
Hey OP...
Why not register and join us "for real"??? You can see how fun and helpful we are. There's always room for another "coworker" here.
Just make up a name that no one will recognize. No real name, no using your initials, or your well-known nickname. Something meaningful to you, but not your dcp's.
Why not register and join us "for real"??? You can see how fun and helpful we are. There's always room for another "coworker" here.
Just make up a name that no one will recognize. No real name, no using your initials, or your well-known nickname. Something meaningful to you, but not your dcp's.
coolconfidentme 06:47 AM 05-02-2014
l
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Hey OP...
Why not register and join us "for real"??? You can see how fun and helpful we are. There's always room for another "coworker" here.
Just make up a name that no one will recognize. No real name, no using your initials, or your well-known nickname. Something meaningful to you, but not your dcp's.
Hey OP...
Why not register and join us "for real"??? You can see how fun and helpful we are. There's always room for another "coworker" here.
Just make up a name that no one will recognize. No real name, no using your initials, or your well-known nickname. Something meaningful to you, but not your dcp's.
Unregistered 08:59 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Yes, PLEASE do this. You are not calling to report her; they have no power over her. You are calling to protect yourself. A false allegation of any kind will always be met with is licensing already knows about the situation. Just give her a BRIEF rundown (voice mail is fine). "Hi, this is daycare provider ... I just wanted to make a quick call to let you know that I've had a situation with a parent. There were some policy breaking issues, so we've terminated our care arrangement. However, DCM is not so happy about this, and may call you. If you need any details, please feel free to call me or stop by"
No drama...just a "heads up"
Thanks! One of my favorite things about this site is the helpful wording that people come up with. I have lots of well-worded documents, but when they throw something new at me I get all frazzled. Having something to work from helps a lot!Yes, PLEASE do this. You are not calling to report her; they have no power over her. You are calling to protect yourself. A false allegation of any kind will always be met with
is licensing already knows about the situation. Just give her a BRIEF rundown (voice mail is fine). "Hi, this is daycare provider ... I just wanted to make a quick call to let you know that I've had a situation with a parent. There were some policy breaking issues, so we've terminated our care arrangement. However, DCM is not so happy about this, and may call you. If you need any details, please feel free to call me or stop by" No drama...just a "heads up"
Unregistered 09:00 AM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Hey OP...
Why not register and join us "for real"??? You can see how fun and helpful we are. There's always room for another "coworker" here.
Just make up a name that no one will recognize. No real name, no using your initials, or your well-known nickname. Something meaningful to you, but not your dcp's.
Have to do that/have already done that/possibly/probably/almost certainly Hey OP...
Why not register and join us "for real"??? You can see how fun and helpful we are. There's always room for another "coworker" here.
Just make up a name that no one will recognize. No real name, no using your initials, or your well-known nickname. Something meaningful to you, but not your dcp's.
Thank you