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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Is Wrong With Parents Today?
coolconfidentme 11:08 AM 11-13-2013
DCM was laid off for a month & now back to work. DCG (1 yr) has been a whiny mess since she has been back. DCM said if she cried she would pick her up to sooth her, but only after she cried for more that 10 minutes. (10 minutes or 10 seconds, does it really matter?) Nap time & she practically has the whole DC up. She is making me hit the Pepsi Max hard right now.

We raised a generation that does not get it. I remember my daughter telling me (about my g'kid) "she is only two." I asked her, "When she is 3 can I tell her don't touch it then?"

What is wrong with parents today?
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cara041083 01:53 PM 11-13-2013
I agree. I had a kid that took me a VERY long time to train the way things needed to be at my house. His mom got laid off in Sep, and I will get him back in Jan when I start back up again. I am so scared what he will be like Just one day last week she called me to check in and it 12:45 in the afternoon and he hadn't even gotten up for the day. (hes 3). I can only image what other things she lets him get away with.
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caregiver 02:46 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
DCM was laid off for a month & now back to work. DCG (1 yr) has been a whiny mess since she has been back. DCM said if she cried she would pick her up to sooth her, but only after she cried for more that 10 minutes. (10 minutes or 10 seconds, does it really matter?) Nap time & she practically has the whole DC up. She is making me hit the Pepsi Max hard right now.

We raised a generation that does not get it. I remember my daughter telling me (about my g'kid) "she is only two." I asked her, "When she is 3 can I tell her don't touch it then?"

What is wrong with parents today?


I totally agree with you on we raised a generation that does not get it.
I keep telling my husband that when we are old,say in our 70's, that this country of ours will be run by people who have gotten their way all throughout their life because their parents these days do not know how to tell their children "NO" and have let them get by with doing whatever they want.
Two reasons for that,more women are out in the work force today and they are made to feel guilty for not being home and raise their kids, so then they give into the kids because they do feel that guilt.

Then there is the parents that just does not want or take the time to parent their children because they are too busy doing what THEY want, like going to the gym,going out at night with their friends,etc,just examples, and the kids do what they want and no one is there or cares to tell them that they can't have or doing something.

So, back to the country in the future,it will be run by the most self centered,selfish, only caring about themselves, people and I am hating to see how this all plays out in the future. There is no discipline with many kids of today.
Parents are too afraid of their kids getting mad at them and would rather be "their friend" then the parent. I have dcp's that are not the parent, their child is and that is so sad. One parent said to me one day, Oh, Madeline( who was 3 yrs old at the time) is the boss,so we do what she wants to do. Come on! Your the parent,be a parent!

Anyway got off track here, but I totally agree with you.
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Willow 03:31 PM 11-13-2013
What is wrong with parents today? Serious rant ahead, you just opened the biggest can of worms in my book right now lol

Gender equality, and yes I know I could get flamed to high heaven for saying that but hear me out

Just 4/5 decades ago the concept of "daycare" was near unheard of. If a couple had children the mother stayed home. Families raised their own with very few exceptions. When women entered the work force in increasing numbers their aging extended family watched them and further out, the need for non-familial daycare was born. Mothers felt pressure to do it all, have families and careers, so they did. When the additional income became necessary to support all the new wants they could afford, the line between want and need started to blur.

Today, most adults don't understand the difference between the two. They think two cars/three story house/packed activity schedules/vacations/namebrand clothing/the latest electronics and cable are all needs. The actual needs of child take a backseat to the new lifestyle wants families have grown so accustomed to. Anything that cuts into funding those wants is looked down upon. It's why you'll probably never see a mother question paying a hockey or dance coach out the rear, forking over hundreds of dollars each month for yoga classes, a winter timeshare, or the automotive company that finances their new Hummer, but people will frequently whine, pout, yell, try to negotiate and flat out refuse to pay their daycare provider. Far too many people see the care we provide as less than it's worth rather than more than anything else ever should.

Priorities have shifted, and that's where I think it started.

Which daycare your baby attends doesn't buy one clout around the watercooler, unless you're talking an exclusive private preschool that the Jones's also send their child to of course.....


The only solution is a double edged sword that would put us all out of business so unfortunately our only option is to put up or shut up so to speak. Even if things ever went back to the way they were, most of today's parents didn't have the greatest example set forth for them. Modeling good parenting has been hindered because as women gained more in the way of equality that apparently meant children should too.....out went spare the rod -spoil the child and in flew 3year olds should be considered equals as well
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daycarediva 03:41 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
What is wrong with parents today? Serious rant ahead, you just opened the biggest can of worms in my book right now lol

Gender equality, and yes I know I could get flamed to high heaven for saying that but hear me out

Just 4/5 decades ago the concept of "daycare" was near unheard of. If a couple had children the mother stayed home. Families raised their own with very few exceptions. When women entered the work force in increasing numbers their aging extended family watched them and further out, the need for non-familial daycare was born. Mothers felt pressure to do it all, have families and careers, so they did. When the additional income became necessary to support all the new wants they could afford, the line between want and need started to blur.

Today, most adults don't understand the difference between the two. They think two cars/three story house/packed activity schedules/vacations/namebrand clothing/the latest electronics and cable are all needs. The actual needs of child take a backseat to the new lifestyle wants families have grown so accustomed to. Anything that cuts into funding those wants is looked down upon. It's why you'll probably never see a mother question paying a hockey or dance coach out the rear, forking over hundreds of dollars each month for yoga classes, a winter timeshare, or the automotive company that finances their new Hummer, but people will frequently whine, pout, yell, try to negotiate and flat out refuse to pay their daycare provider. Far too many people see the care we provide as less than it's worth rather than more than anything else ever should.

Priorities have shifted, and that's where I think it started.

Which daycare your baby attends doesn't buy one clout around the watercooler, unless you're talking an exclusive private preschool that the Jones's also send their child to of course.....


The only solution is a double edged sword that would put us all out of business so unfortunately our only option is to put up or shut up so to speak
Two thumbs up!

ITA, 100%. My grandmother was raised by her mother, a SAHM. My grandmother was a nurse (ww2 era!), so my mother was cared for by her grandmother. I was generation 1 in daycare as my grandmother was working....and when I entered the workforce, my mother wasn't available to help me raise my own children because she was working...generation 2 of daycare.

The SAHM, unless they are affluent, is non existent here. Even if they are SAHM's they think they need time off, breaks, personal trainers, gym time, and so the child is in daycare.
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nannyde 03:57 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by care giver:
I totally agree with you on we raised a generation that does not get it.
I keep telling my husband that when we are old,say in our 70's, that this country of ours will be run by people who have gotten their way all throughout their life because their parents these days do not know how to tell their children "NO" and have let them get by with doing whatever they want.
Two reasons for that,more women are out in the work force today and they are made to feel guilty for not being home and raise their kids, so then they give into the kids because they do feel that guilt.

Then there is the parents that just does not want or take the time to parent their children because they are too busy doing what THEY want, like going to the gym,going out at night with their friends,etc,just examples, and the kids do what they want and no one is there or cares to tell them that they can't have or doing something.

So, back to the country in the future,it will be run by the most self centered,selfish, only caring about themselves, people and I am hating to see how this all plays out in the future. There is no discipline with many kids of today.
Parents are too afraid of their kids getting mad at them and would rather be "their friend" then the parent. I have dcp's that are not the parent, their child is and that is so sad. One parent said to me one day, Oh, Madeline( who was 3 yrs old at the time) is the boss,so we do what she wants to do. Come on! Your the parent,be a parent!

Anyway got off track here, but I totally agree with you.
I think the concept of parental guilt is highly over rated. I don't think it is that common for kids that are mobile and older. I think it is common with newborns and young infants but once the child becomes mobile the guilt diminishes enormously.

The way you know about guilt is if the parent keeps the kid when they are not working. Do they come early when they are off early? Do they keep the child home on their sick days and days off work? Do they build extra unneeded time for drop off and pick up? Do they want to hang out before and after daycare? Does the child have an early bedtime?

If a parent is guilty they want their kid ALONE for as many waking hours a day as they can.

I think the guilt is there but I don't think it's rooted in the leaving of the child. I think it's rooted in the realization that they don't really like caring for the child. They can't get back the adoration they had while pregnant and the attention they got with a newborn. They can't get back the ease of parenting a newborn when they ONLY have that to do. Once they start back to work they don't get to just DO their baby. When they have to care for the child and do REAL life they grieve the time when they could just have their baby and the attention and consideration that is bestowed upon new mommy.

They grieve the easy time and try to get that back. They get it in clips... time bought by holding walking rocking sucking. The peace that comes in spurts when they do high level yes second to second. As the baby ages the yes to get peace exacts an ever increasing amount of energy.

Once the cost is HIGH to get the peace back they turf the happiness getter to whatever will buy the most time for the smallest effort. That's where swings, screens, jolly jumpers, pacifiers, sucky cloth, etc.become their foundation of yes parenting. As the kid ages, candy food and candy liquids become a yes staple.

The ONLY way to get the peace back is to get the kid gone. That's where we come in. We get to see the front end of the YES ending at drop off and YES beginning at pick up. We get the kid who has had YES at ANY price from the time they leave till the time they come back.

I also believe that the reason we are all seeing such an upswing of really unstable parenting and frentic unstable babies and kids just in the last couple of years is that the cost of screens and phones has become affordable for even poor people. Now nearly every adult has the ability to have a screen in their face minute to minute. That screen is WAY more fun and hospitable than a child that wants not gives. The parents now are distracted away from their kids.

We keep hearing how it is getting worse and getting worse really fast. I agree and I “think" it is directly proportional to the cheap availability of the OTHER life... the screen life. Other than the thrill of the newborn, there is precious little in real care of a child that is as instantly gratifying than what the screen offers. Parents are making a minute to minute choice to not do their kid.

They may hold constantly. They may host sucking constantly. They may baby wear and co sleep... but they are not doing the HARD stuff that builds and grows a great kid. The hard part is saying no and having rules, boundaries, limits, and expectations. That's hard and not minute to minute fun.

I know that was the long way home to explain guilt ... and I hope I was able to show how I think guilt and the current decline we are seeing are one and the same.
Reply
Willow 04:07 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I think the concept of parental guilt is highly over rated. I don't think it is that common for kids that are mobile and older. I think it is common with newborns and young infants but once the child becomes mobile the guilt diminishes enormously.

The way you know about guilt is if the parent keeps the kid when they are not working. Do they come early when they are off early? Do they keep the child home on their sick days and days off work? Do they build extra unneeded time for drop off and pick up? Do they want to hang out before and after daycare? Does the child have an early bedtime?

If a parent is guilty they want their kid ALONE for as many waking hours a day as they can.

I think the guilt is there but I don't think it's rooted in the leaving of the child. I think it's rooted in the realization that they don't really like caring for the child. They can't get back the adoration they had while pregnant and the attention they got with a newborn. They can't get back the ease of parenting a newborn when they ONLY have that to do. Once they start back to work they don't get to just DO their baby. When they have to care for the child and do REAL life they grieve the time when they could just have their baby and the attention and consideration that is bestowed upon new mommy.

They grieve the easy time and try to get that back. They get it in clips... time bought by holding walking rocking sucking. The peace that comes in spurts when they do high level yes second to second. As the baby ages the yes to get peace exacts an ever increasing amount of energy.

Once the cost is HIGH to get the peace back they turf the happiness getter to whatever will buy the most time for the smallest effort. That's where swings, screens, jolly jumpers, pacifiers, sucky cloth, etc.become their foundation of yes parenting. As the kid ages, candy food and candy liquids become a yes staple.

The ONLY way to get the peace back is to get the kid gone. That's where we come in. We get to see the front end of the YES ending at drop off and YES beginning at pick up. We get the kid who has had YES at ANY price from the time they leave till the time they come back.

I also believe that the reason we are all seeing such an upswing of really unstable parenting and frentic unstable babies and kids just in the last couple of years is that the cost of screens and phones has become affordable for even poor people. Now nearly every adult has the ability to have a screen in their face minute to minute. That screen is WAY more fun and hospitable than a child that wants not gives. The parents now are distracted away from their kids.

We keep hearing how it is getting worse and getting worse really fast. I agree and I “think" it is directly proportional to the cheap availability of the OTHER life... the screen life. Other than the thrill of the newborn, there is precious little in real care of a child that is as instantly gratifying than what the screen offers. Parents are making a minute to minute choice to not do their kid.

They may hold constantly. They may host sucking constantly. They may baby wear and co sleep... but they are not doing the HARD stuff that builds and grows a great kid. The hard part is saying no and having rules, boundaries, limits, and expectations. That's hard and not minute to minute fun.

I know that was the long way home to explain guilt ... and I hope I was able to show how I think guilt and the current decline we are seeing are one and the same.
PREACH. ON.



I can't remember the last time I ran across a parent that actually *likes* their 10 year old. By that time parenting has lost all of it's appeal and it's not nearly as fun as all the other things a parent would prefer to spend their time engaged in.
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nannyde 04:19 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
PREACH. ON.

I need to sort it out a bit more and maybe do a blog. Any insights from you would mean a lot. I respect your opinion so much.
Reply
Willow 04:31 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I need to sort it out a bit more and maybe do a blog. Any insights from you would mean a lot. I respect your opinion so much.
Yes you do!

And you need to pm me your email addy so we can keep in touch!
Reply
coolconfidentme 04:42 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I think the concept of parental guilt is highly over rated. I don't think it is that common for kids that are mobile and older. I think it is common with newborns and young infants but once the child becomes mobile the guilt diminishes enormously.

The way you know about guilt is if the parent keeps the kid when they are not working. Do they come early when they are off early? Do they keep the child home on their sick days and days off work? Do they build extra unneeded time for drop off and pick up? Do they want to hang out before and after daycare? Does the child have an early bedtime?

If a parent is guilty they want their kid ALONE for as many waking hours a day as they can.

I think the guilt is there but I don't think it's rooted in the leaving of the child. I think it's rooted in the realization that they don't really like caring for the child. They can't get back the adoration they had while pregnant and the attention they got with a newborn. They can't get back the ease of parenting a newborn when they ONLY have that to do. Once they start back to work they don't get to just DO their baby. When they have to care for the child and do REAL life they grieve the time when they could just have their baby and the attention and consideration that is bestowed upon new mommy.

They grieve the easy time and try to get that back. They get it in clips... time bought by holding walking rocking sucking. The peace that comes in spurts when they do high level yes second to second. As the baby ages the yes to get peace exacts an ever increasing amount of energy.

Once the cost is HIGH to get the peace back they turf the happiness getter to whatever will buy the most time for the smallest effort. That's where swings, screens, jolly jumpers, pacifiers, sucky cloth, etc.become their foundation of yes parenting. As the kid ages, candy food and candy liquids become a yes staple.

The ONLY way to get the peace back is to get the kid gone. That's where we come in. We get to see the front end of the YES ending at drop off and YES beginning at pick up. We get the kid who has had YES at ANY price from the time they leave till the time they come back.

I also believe that the reason we are all seeing such an upswing of really unstable parenting and frentic unstable babies and kids just in the last couple of years is that the cost of screens and phones has become affordable for even poor people. Now nearly every adult has the ability to have a screen in their face minute to minute. That screen is WAY more fun and hospitable than a child that wants not gives. The parents now are distracted away from their kids.

We keep hearing how it is getting worse and getting worse really fast. I agree and I “think" it is directly proportional to the cheap availability of the OTHER life... the screen life. Other than the thrill of the newborn, there is precious little in real care of a child that is as instantly gratifying than what the screen offers. Parents are making a minute to minute choice to not do their kid.

They may hold constantly. They may host sucking constantly. They may baby wear and co sleep... but they are not doing the HARD stuff that builds and grows a great kid. The hard part is saying no and having rules, boundaries, limits, and expectations. That's hard and not minute to minute fun.

I know that was the long way home to explain guilt ... and I hope I was able to show how I think guilt and the current decline we are seeing are one and the same.
True story..., & please do a blog!!
Reply
Sunchimes 05:44 PM 11-13-2013
I agree with Nanny and Willow. I was one of the small group whose mom worked in the early 1950's. My dad was sort of a wastrel and probably not really a nice guy-even Mom's make poor choices sometimes.

Anyway, Mom worked from the time I was born in 1953 (and before that, but we are talking about babies), until she re-married when I was almost 9. I spent all those years with "babysitters", usually neighbors who would keep me and later my sister to make some extra money. We were never in centers-I don't know if any even existed back then. At one point, my grandmother moved in with us and watched me for a few months--we spent our entire day sitting in the rocking chair while she read to me. (I was a very placid child!)

The arrangements were very informal, Sally lived next door and had a baby. She kept us and made some pocket money. I was 7 or 8. She would send me to the store 2 blocks away to buy things she needed. One time, it was the elderly lady up the street. She had a talking parrot who would say "Pretty baby". We watched As the World Turns. One time it was my aunt's brother-in-law's sister-in-law, almost family, right? No license, no inspections, no formality.

She quit work when I was 9 and started keeping kids for the neighbors. She did that until I went off to college.
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Annalee 06:58 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I think the concept of parental guilt is highly over rated. I don't think it is that common for kids that are mobile and older. I think it is common with newborns and young infants but once the child becomes mobile the guilt diminishes enormously.

The way you know about guilt is if the parent keeps the kid when they are not working. Do they come early when they are off early? Do they keep the child home on their sick days and days off work? Do they build extra unneeded time for drop off and pick up? Do they want to hang out before and after daycare? Does the child have an early bedtime?

If a parent is guilty they want their kid ALONE for as many waking hours a day as they can.

I think the guilt is there but I don't think it's rooted in the leaving of the child. I think it's rooted in the realization that they don't really like caring for the child. They can't get back the adoration they had while pregnant and the attention they got with a newborn. They can't get back the ease of parenting a newborn when they ONLY have that to do. Once they start back to work they don't get to just DO their baby. When they have to care for the child and do REAL life they grieve the time when they could just have their baby and the attention and consideration that is bestowed upon new mommy.

They grieve the easy time and try to get that back. They get it in clips... time bought by holding walking rocking sucking. The peace that comes in spurts when they do high level yes second to second. As the baby ages the yes to get peace exacts an ever increasing amount of energy.

Once the cost is HIGH to get the peace back they turf the happiness getter to whatever will buy the most time for the smallest effort. That's where swings, screens, jolly jumpers, pacifiers, sucky cloth, etc.become their foundation of yes parenting. As the kid ages, candy food and candy liquids become a yes staple.

The ONLY way to get the peace back is to get the kid gone. That's where we come in. We get to see the front end of the YES ending at drop off and YES beginning at pick up. We get the kid who has had YES at ANY price from the time they leave till the time they come back.

I also believe that the reason we are all seeing such an upswing of really unstable parenting and frentic unstable babies and kids just in the last couple of years is that the cost of screens and phones has become affordable for even poor people. Now nearly every adult has the ability to have a screen in their face minute to minute. That screen is WAY more fun and hospitable than a child that wants not gives. The parents now are distracted away from their kids.

We keep hearing how it is getting worse and getting worse really fast. I agree and I “think" it is directly proportional to the cheap availability of the OTHER life... the screen life. Other than the thrill of the newborn, there is precious little in real care of a child that is as instantly gratifying than what the screen offers. Parents are making a minute to minute choice to not do their kid.

They may hold constantly. They may host sucking constantly. They may baby wear and co sleep... but they are not doing the HARD stuff that builds and grows a great kid. The hard part is saying no and having rules, boundaries, limits, and expectations. That's hard and not minute to minute fun.

I know that was the long way home to explain guilt ... and I hope I was able to show how I think guilt and the current decline we are seeing are one and the same.
Awesome post! I also think dcp in my program today that is different from when I started 20 plus years ago like high-maintenance kids but want me to do the maintenance. It seems I get constant text about how my precious "johnny" is multiple times a day, but it is like pulling teeth when "johnny" is sick and I need her to come get him. It is so hard to become personal like I used to because my parents need boundaries. I feel like a warden sometimes, but this generation requires it. Can't imagine the future generations!
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coolconfidentme 03:34 AM 11-14-2013
I'm all for rewarding good behavior, but parents are taking the easy road & bribing kids. I'm sick of hearing "If you're good in daycare today, we will go get ice cream!" Whatever happened to parents giving consequence for bad behavior? When a child goes to TO & tries to throw a fit about it, I tell them they should be mad at them self for making a poor choice. They should think about making better choices next time.
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caregiver 06:16 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I'm all for rewarding good behavior, but parents are taking the easy road & bribing kids. I'm sick of hearing "If you're good in daycare today, we will go get ice cream!" Whatever happened to parents giving consequence for bad behavior? When a child goes to TO & tries to throw a fit about it, I tell them they should be mad at them self for making a poor choice. They should think about making better choices next time.
I totally agree with you on this subject. Parents are taking the easy road out by bribing their kids. They just don't want to discipline and be the bad guy. I'm all for rewarding for good behavior too, but if they do something they shouldn't be doing, they need to understand that there is consequences for their action. As far as I see today, there is no discipline anymore,it seems like it has gone to the wayside as parents are being told to not do this or that as far as the disciplining of their kids. Society has caused a lot of this and I think we need to go back to having well behaved kids and that means that parents have to do the disciplining and have to realize that maybe they will be the bad guy for a few years, but that also means they will have children that will behave,not be so self absorbed as a lot are today(older kids),maybe kids will have manners as that has gone to the wayside too,be polite,which I hardly ever hear kids say please and thank you anymore, it is "I want".
I hardly hear a parent say to their child the word "NO". It is then usually the bribe tactic that comes out instead of telling them NO they can't do or have something.
I have friends that have two small children and I absolutely hate when they come over to visit because they will not tell their kids NO for anything and they get into everything here and the parents just sit here visiting while their kids run around my house. Well I started telling their kids NO, you can't run here and you can't go into my bedrooms etc and start messing stuff up. I would have thought that my friends would get upset with me for telling their kids NO, but they would just sit here and do nothing! Long story short, we no longer have these people over because of their kids, and they wonder why! Da, control your kids!

Ya, parents have lost all control over their kids because there is such little discipline and that is sad. Kids today are not taught by their parents how to behave anymore, it seems like it is the daycare or schools that are having to do it. Whether it is because the parents are to lazy, too busy themselves, don't really care or don't want to be the bad guy, kids are not learning how to behave and are getting the bribes to be good or if they behave, which is not teaching them that if they do not behave, that there is consequences for what they do and they have to deal with that.
Maybe this is why we have so much crime today because the kids think that they can get away with anything and think that there will be no consequences for whatever they have done. And that is what society and non parenting has done.
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Maggie 08:19 AM 11-14-2013
Does anyone else find that the older the first time parents are the more selfish they are they spend the least amount of time possible with their kids.
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Cat Herder 09:09 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by Maggie:
Does anyone else find that the older the first time parents are the more selfish they are they spend the least amount of time possible with their kids.
I have found the opposite. All of the Moms over 40 I have known (16 so far) were amazing None of them put their kid in daycare, though... They planned and saved $$$ to stay home. Maybe you are seeing more "change of life" babies than I am, though?


To the original question: What is wrong with parents today? I think it is a simple pendulum effect.

The kids who were ignored dote, coddle and pamper.

The kids who were ridiculed and made to feel unloved celebrate their kids most mundane accomplishments with a ticker-tape parade.

The kids who lived on eggshells let their kids free-range.

The kids who were made to feel stupid push their kids to succeed.

The kids whose parents forced them to supply constant validation of their parenting can be the most critical of their kids.

*** Some parents continue the unhealthy cycles of their own parents.

Some parents manage to break the unhealthy cycles and become golden clients.

Yes, Some parents are just born jerks.
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nannyde 09:36 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I have found the opposite. All of the Moms over 40 I have known (16 so far) were amazing None of them put their kid in daycare, though... They planned and saved $$$ to stay home. Maybe you are seeing more "change of life" babies than I am, though?


To the original question: What is wrong with parents today? I think it is a simple pendulum effect.

The kids who were ignored dote, coddle and pamper.

The kids who were ridiculed and made to feel unloved celebrate their kids most mundane accomplishments with a ticker-tape parade.

The kids who lived on eggshells let their kids free-range.

The kids who were made to feel stupid push their kids to succeed.

The kids whose parents forced them to supply constant validation of their parenting can be the most critical of their kids.

*** Some parents continue the unhealthy cycles of their own parents.

Some parents manage to break the unhealthy cycles and become golden clients.

Yes, Some parents are just born jerks.
Stealing ticker tape parade and pretending I made it up myself
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Cat Herder 10:14 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Stealing ticker tape parade and pretending I made it up myself
Go for it I never remember who said what first anymore, anyway.... the fog is getting thick.

Maybe I am oversimplifying, but Thanksgiving is coming and FB (with 85+ "kids" I have known since elementary school) is giving me much data to support my thesis.

My personal favorite passive aggressive post from this morning....
Attached: thanksgiving.jpg (30.6 KB) 
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Maggie 10:31 AM 11-14-2013
Well because I have no social life, all the moms I know have their kids in daycare, mine. Three of the last four families that started with me were late thirties early forties before they had their first. They were struggling with one and then had another one! They just really don't seem to have a clue what to do with them. They cant take them shopping, cant clean their house or do laundry when they have them, they struggle to get ready for work in the morning, and some don't, they bring them here, go back home and then get ready. They have more money then the younger parents so they're always spoiling and bribing with things. They are afraid to tell them no because the tantrum that goes with it. My younger parents have no problem saying no, their kids are better behaved and they spend more time with them. My older parents seem to need way more me time then my younger parents. My kids are all grown but I really don't remember the parenting thing being all that hard when mine were young even the years I was working outside the home.
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Cat Herder 10:45 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by Maggie:
Well because I have no social life, all the moms I know have their kids in daycare, mine. Three of the last four families that started with me were late thirties early forties before they had their first. They were struggling with one and then had another one! They just really don't seem to have a clue what to do with them. They cant take them shopping, cant clean their house or do laundry when they have them, they struggle to get ready for work in the morning, and some don't, they bring them here, go back home and then get ready. They have more money then the younger parents so they're always spoiling and bribing with things. They are afraid to tell them no because the tantrum that goes with it. My younger parents have no problem saying no, their kids are better behaved and they spend more time with them. My older parents seem to need way more me time then my younger parents. My kids are all grown but I really don't remember the parenting thing being all that hard when mine were young even the years I was working outside the home.
Social life... What is that I do have a couple part time jobs.

My lifelong friend who owns a huge center (for 35 years now) tells me the same things you are explaining... she calls them the "change of life" moms.

She feels these Mom's really had little desire to be a Mother, but felt they would be missing out on a critical check box to being "successful in life" if she did not have a baby.

"Being a Mother" and "Having a Baby" are two very different things to this sub-group.
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renodeb 11:06 AM 11-14-2013
Well that is certainly a loaded question! Parents dont get it! Its hard when a child has been gone for awhile. Good luck with the retraining!
Deb
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coolconfidentme 11:11 AM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by renodeb:
Well that is certainly a loaded question! Parents dont get it! Its hard when a child has been gone for awhile. Good luck with the retraining!
Deb
HAHA! He g'ma dropped her off today & said, she slept in & she can just play though nap time. I told her, "We don't play though nap time. We nap." DCG is currently whining & has everyone else up.
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Tags:community, parenting, parents - dont know how, pendulum swing, village
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