Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Baby Refuses Bottle First Days Back
Unregistered 02:25 PM 09-09-2015
I'm the mother. My 4 month old takes the bottle Wednesday Thursday and Friday but does not want to eat Monday or Tuesday. We are breastfeeding. On the weekends I feed him an ounce each day from the bottle with no problem. Dad and gramma have also fed him. He knows how to use a bottle. I feed him on the weekends with a bottle so he won't forget come Monday.

My caregiver is becoming frustrated and other than baby led feeding and sleeping, we are out of options. Doctor says baby is thriving and to try feeding on demand rather than the schedule that works 3 days a week. Some weeks he cries and moves his head from side to side, other weeks he was happy but just refused to latch. On days when he wont eat, she can force him to take 4-6 ounces but it might take 45 minutes to get him 1 ounce. This is not sustainable.

Any suggestions? Doc thinks he just misses mom on Monday and Tuesday but a crying not sleeping wants to be held always baby is very demanding on my caregiver. Help?
Reply
daycarediva 02:29 PM 09-09-2015
Wear/sleep with a blanket of his (your smell) and bring that into daycare on Monday. Try having only Dad give bottles (so he associates breastfeeding with you and bottles with others). He probably IS missing you and the comfort/closeness he gets from nursing.

Also, in my state it is a regulation that all babies are fed on demand.
Reply
nannyde 04:58 PM 09-09-2015
An ounce a day isn't enough. Go to a full feed twice a day.
Reply
Unregistered 05:32 PM 09-09-2015
Monday and Tuesday he might eat 4 to 6 ounces over the 10 hours at DC. Today he got 4 and she was trying to do baby led. Of course it ruined everyone else's schedule today. My suggestion for her was to try 2oz every 2hours. She says she has tried everything to get him to eat. Today I suggested she pick one or two methods and only try those so maybe baby will associate whatever she does with her and eating from a bottle. Like a feeding at daycare association.

I will try the blanket trick. We tried the shirt I wore the day before but she didn't think it helped. She really wants to feed him at 930, 1230, and 330. I've asked her to keep those but also try more frequent offering, like offer 2 hours. She says he's hungry and tired but he won't eat and she can't easily tell if he's just hungry or just tired but assumes he is both.

Doc thinks baby should be fed when he first arrives between 7 and 8. Any more thoughts? If this doesn't get better in the next two weeks, we will probably be told to find another DC.
Reply
Thriftylady 05:37 PM 09-09-2015
The provider should be feeding on demand, but the baby needs to actually eat on demand. You bottle feeding one ounce per day won't work. Do as mentioned above and have dad or grandma or someone do a full feeding from the bottle once a day EVERY day. Otherwise the baby won't be getting enough fluids if you can't work this out.
Reply
Leigh 06:07 PM 09-09-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Monday and Tuesday he might eat 4 to 6 ounces over the 10 hours at DC. Today he got 4 and she was trying to do baby led. Of course it ruined everyone else's schedule today. My suggestion for her was to try 2oz every 2hours. She says she has tried everything to get him to eat. Today I suggested she pick one or two methods and only try those so maybe baby will associate whatever she does with her and eating from a bottle. Like a feeding at daycare association.

I will try the blanket trick. We tried the shirt I wore the day before but she didn't think it helped. She really wants to feed him at 930, 1230, and 330. I've asked her to keep those but also try more frequent offering, like offer 2 hours. She says he's hungry and tired but he won't eat and she can't easily tell if he's just hungry or just tired but assumes he is both.

Doc thinks baby should be fed when he first arrives between 7 and 8. Any more thoughts? If this doesn't get better in the next two weeks, we will probably be told to find another DC.
I would make sure that baby is fed BEFORE being dropped off at daycare. I agree with the previous posters about using bottles more at home. Maybe bottles in the daytime, and breast feeding at night, or doing every-other.

You are very kind to be concerned about your child's caregiver, but the concern is really for your child. Your baby is certainly the one who will benefit from being used to the bottle. Good luck!
Reply
nannyde 07:32 PM 09-09-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Monday and Tuesday he might eat 4 to 6 ounces over the 10 hours at DC. Today he got 4 and she was trying to do baby led. Of course it ruined everyone else's schedule today. My suggestion for her was to try 2oz every 2hours. She says she has tried everything to get him to eat. Today I suggested she pick one or two methods and only try those so maybe baby will associate whatever she does with her and eating from a bottle. Like a feeding at daycare association.

I will try the blanket trick. We tried the shirt I wore the day before but she didn't think it helped. She really wants to feed him at 930, 1230, and 330. I've asked her to keep those but also try more frequent offering, like offer 2 hours. She says he's hungry and tired but he won't eat and she can't easily tell if he's just hungry or just tired but assumes he is both.

Doc thinks baby should be fed when he first arrives between 7 and 8. Any more thoughts? If this doesn't get better in the next two weeks, we will probably be told to find another DC.
Two ounces every two hours is unrealistic. It isn't just the feeding. She has to convection heat the bottle... feed... burp... and most likely have a dirty diaper to follow. From the time she's done with that sequence she is going to have maybe an hour and a half before she has to heat the next two ounces.

The baby should be fed right before you leave the house. The schedule she has is pretty close to spot on for the age. She is finishing the 930 feed around 950 so it's about 2 hrs and 40 minutes until the next feed.

You can switch providers if you want but one of two things are going to happen. The same thing or a lying provider. If it's miraculously cured by switching providers she will most likely be lying.

Your baby is not nipple converted. It's that simple. It's your job to do ALL the work to make sure he is. If that means doing bottles at home until he can switch back and forth then you have to make it happen. Start with two FULL feed bottles per day at home. If the baby balks at the bottles the next daycare day... then go to three. Whatever it takes to get him.chugging bottles at daycare.

She shouldn't need to do anything but tell you what the outcome is for that day. She shouldn't need to "work" with him. She needs to be able to get him on a decent schedule and have him gladly take the nipple.

Baby led is great in theory but most veteran providers can get a four month old on a feed schedule of three hours from start of first bottle to start of next bottle within a week or so. When you are convection heating a bottle that can't be reused if not taken, you need to have a schedule. It's way more work than formula feeding so you need to make sure it is as easy as possible for her so she has ample time to care for the other kids.

Having a baby who can't eat is the seventh level of hell in daycare. It's your job to make sure he can eat when he is away from you without expecting MORE feedings and more time.

Do more bottles and full feeds at your house and your problem will be solved.
Reply
nanglgrl 09:22 PM 09-09-2015
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Two ounces every two hours is unrealistic. It isn't just the feeding. She has to convection heat the bottle... feed... burp... and most likely have a dirty diaper to follow. From the time she's done with that sequence she is going to have maybe an hour and a half before she has to heat the next two ounces.

The baby should be fed right before you leave the house. The schedule she has is pretty close to spot on for the age. She is finishing the 930 feed around 950 so it's about 2 hrs and 40 minutes until the next feed.

You can switch providers if you want but one of two things are going to happen. The same thing or a lying provider. If it's miraculously cured by switching providers she will most likely be lying.

Your baby is not nipple converted. It's that simple. It's your job to do ALL the work to make sure he is. If that means doing bottles at home until he can switch back and forth then you have to make it happen. Start with two FULL feed bottles per day at home. If the baby balks at the bottles the next daycare day... then go to three. Whatever it takes to get him.chugging bottles at daycare.

She shouldn't need to do anything but tell you what the outcome is for that day. She shouldn't need to "work" with him. She needs to be able to get him on a decent schedule and have him gladly take the nipple.

Baby led is great in theory but most veteran providers can get a four month old on a feed schedule of three hours from start of first bottle to start of next bottle within a week or so. When you are convection heating a bottle that can't be reused if not taken, you need to have a schedule. It's way more work than formula feeding so you need to make sure it is as easy as possible for her so she has ample time to care for the other kids.

Having a baby who can't eat is the seventh level of hell in daycare. It's your job to make sure he can eat when he is away from you without expecting MORE feedings and more time.

Do more bottles and full feeds at your house and your problem will be solved.
^it couldn't be said better. This woman should write a book..oh wait. Lol
Reply
Unregistered 01:56 AM 09-10-2015
Just to be clear... He eats more than an ounce a day. But sometimes it takes her 45 minutes to get him to take an ounce on Mondays and Tuesdays. I do feed him before we leave the house. He gets on her schedule 3 days of the week and is generally happy on those days.

The reason we would switch is that my doctor says if she's getting frustrated, then find a new provider for baby's safety. Also we might switch if our daycare lady says "this is too frustrating, we aren't meshing, find someone else to care for baby because I cant."
Reply
nannyde 04:42 AM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Just to be clear... He eats more than an ounce a day. But sometimes it takes her 45 minutes to get him to take an ounce on Mondays and Tuesdays. I do feed him before we leave the house. He gets on her schedule 3 days of the week and is generally happy on those days.

The reason we would switch is that my doctor says if she's getting frustrated, then find a new provider for baby's safety. Also we might switch if our daycare lady says "this is too frustrating, we aren't meshing, find someone else to care for baby because I cant."
I understand he eats more than an ounce a day.

I'm saying when you give him an ounce bottle at home, it's not enough. He needs to have a FULL four to five ounce bottle at your house twice a day.

There's a reason you have done one ounce bottles on your days with him. It's easier to do a small ... very small... amount on your clock and then breastfeed. It doesn't help him in ANY way to have a one ounce feed. When you take him back to daycare it is as if he hasn't had a bottle since he left the last day.

If it takes 45 minutes for him to take an ounce he is expending more energy than he is getting in calories. She should NOT have to deal with devoting that kind of time to feeding and then have a hungry baby afterwards.

You know how to fix it now. The question is... will you do the work it takes to nipple train him. This isn't about what she does.

You can switch daycare but unless you find lying daycare provider or desperate daycare provider... you will have to keep switching until you get him nipple trained.

You could find someone who offers him a five minute start on the bottle and if he's rejecting it or unable to do it... just stop and wait for the next feed time. The provider can tell you whatever it takes to get paid on Friday. If you want to be SURE he is chowing his bottles do the hard work and make it happen.
Reply
Indoorvoice 04:56 AM 09-10-2015
I have been working with an infant since he was 3 months with this same issue. He wanted to have the bottle in his mouth all day and just take sips at a time. It's very difficult to accommodate that in group care. His parents begrudgingly decided to help me when I told them I thought he needed a nanny. They began only doing bottle feedings at home and it took a good 2 weeks of them being consistent with this before it helped. To this day, I can tell when they haven't been consistent over the weekends because he goes back to his old ways. I know it's very hard to bottle feed at home instead of breastfeed - my own daughter did this in daycare as well and all I wanted was to snuggle and breastfeed when I got home, but it wasn't worth her struggle at daycare. You just need to buckle down and do only bottle feeds at home for a while until he gets used to taking a whole feeding at a time from the bottle. Wait until he is good and hungry before offering the bottle and hold him in his feeding position until the bottle is gone so he can start understanding that feeding time isn't over until he takes a good amount.
Reply
laundrymom 05:34 AM 09-10-2015
I'm of a complete different opinion although I completely agree w NannyDe

I'm on year 28 of being a provider. Oodles of BF babies and while I agree w Nan's complete post, I wonder if it's more of a
"Missing momma" issue than a nipple or bottle issue. If this happens here I have mom sleep w a blanket on weekends and use it to wrap baby on Monday.
It seems to help some babies.
Just a thought.
Reply
morgan24 05:39 AM 09-10-2015
I had the same issue with my current breast fed baby. I bought an instant read thermonter and heat his milk in a bottle warmer. The temperature has to be between 98.6 and 100 or he refuses to eat. Hope you get it worked out.
Reply
Unregistered 05:57 AM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I'm of a complete different opinion although I completely agree w NannyDe

I'm on year 28 of being a provider. Oodles of BF babies and while I agree w Nan's complete post, I wonder if it's more of a
"Missing momma" issue than a nipple or bottle issue. If this happens here I have mom sleep w a blanket on weekends and use it to wrap baby on Monday.
It seems to help some babies.
Just a thought.
already tried the shirt from mom trick
the caregiver didn't think it helped at all
it was mentioned in the first couple of posts
Reply
Leigh 06:53 AM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by morgan24:
I had the same issue with my current breast fed baby. I bought an instant read thermonter and heat his milk in a bottle warmer. The temperature has to be between 98.6 and 100 or he refuses to eat. Hope you get it worked out.
I had one whose bottle had to be JUST RIGHT recently, too!
Reply
Unregistered 11:31 AM 09-10-2015
Thank you for the replies, I do appreciate it. The plan this weekend is for gramma to watch him Friday while I work and to also give 2 feeds on Saturday. One lactation consultant suggested that baby may have developed an aversion to my milk since it's not fresh on Monday. We are going to scald it to eliminate the issue with soapy milk. It's an enzyme called lipase that makes it taste soapy.

I slept with a blanket last night and delivered the freshest milk I had today around lunch. Kid was happy but looked tired. He didn't seem hungry and has only had 3 oz today. She doesn't seem particularly affectionate with him. How important is cuddling at daycare? I know you are mostly of the opinion that he's not bottle trained, but I can't help but wonder if it's an environmental issue or a poor fit. Today I threw away a paper from a few weeks ago that said he drank 9 ounces on a Monday.

So we are going to try bottle training intensely, despite our pediatrician and two lactation consultants thinking that won't solve this issue. I feel I need to try it because I haven't tried it yet.
Reply
nannyde 11:58 AM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thank you for the replies, I do appreciate it. The plan this weekend is for gramma to watch him Friday while I work and to also give 2 feeds on Saturday. One lactation consultant suggested that baby may have developed an aversion to my milk since it's not fresh on Monday. We are going to scald it to eliminate the issue with soapy milk. It's an enzyme called lipase that makes it taste soapy.

I slept with a blanket last night and delivered the freshest milk I had today around lunch. Kid was happy but looked tired. He didn't seem hungry and has only had 3 oz today. She doesn't seem particularly affectionate with him. How important is cuddling at daycare? I know you are mostly of the opinion that he's not bottle trained, but I can't help but wonder if it's an environmental issue or a poor fit. Today I threw away a paper from a few weeks ago that said he drank 9 ounces on a Monday.

So we are going to try bottle training intensely, despite our pediatrician and two lactation consultants thinking that won't solve this issue. I feel I need to try it because I haven't tried it yet.
Throwing another factor in like scalding is going to make it difficult to know if the bottle feeds help.

Throwing in her affection is going to make it difficult to deal just with his nipple training.

She may have been miffed with the milk delivery.

If you think it's the not fresh milk then the two daily full feeds at home need to be with not fresh milk. That way you can eliminate it without her as a factor.
Reply
nannyde 12:00 PM 09-10-2015
Any chance you are cosleeping with him attached to your nipple most of the night?
Reply
Unregistered 12:52 PM 09-10-2015
Yes, we cosleep. I'm sure you're going to explain how that is hurting the daycare relationship.
Reply
Heidi 01:01 PM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Yes, we cosleep. I'm sure you're going to explain how that is hurting the daycare relationship.
and...you're clearly defensive about the subject. I don't mean that rudely..but it's your gut reaction.

Do you really beleive that it doesn't?

It's your right to co-sleep. He's your child. But, please don't try to tell yourself that at 4 months, he's going to understand that at home he needs you to sleep, and at daycare he's perfectly fine with safe-sleep practices.

Truly, I am not being mean. You're putting a lot on a young infant, though, to eat differently, sleep differently, play differently, be stimulated differently (noise level, other children, caregiver occupied with multiple kiddos). It's pretty hard to boil down to WHY he's not eating at daycare when EVERYTHING is different.

Can you afford to hire a one-on-one caregiver? If not, maybe some compromises need to made for the sake of your little one. Simplu changing daycares now won't help him, because the next group childcare provider will have the same issues...he's not the only one to care for.
Reply
nannyde 01:20 PM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Yes, we cosleep. I'm sure you're going to explain how that is hurting the daycare relationship.
How would that hurt the daycare relationship?

I'm asking if he is cosleeping nipple attached most of the night. The nipple attached is what I'm asking about.
Reply
nannyde 01:29 PM 09-10-2015
Have your lactation consultant call your daycare provider so the daycare provider can share her experience. The lactation consultant may have a completely differing opinion after that.

A few minutes on the phone and the lactation consultant is going to hear that the baby isn't nipple trained. Nipple trained defined as... can easily switch from breast to bottle without a blip on the radar. Chowing the bottle with ease.

Can you tell us why when you do the bottle feeds at home you were doing one ounce once a day?

I think many providers miss the opportunity at the interview to be VERY clear that the baby MUST be able to EASILY eat a FULL bottle EVERY day before starting daycare AND that the baby must come a couple of days before starting and SHOW the provider he/she can EASILY eat a full serving bottle with ease.

That demonstration is imperative so you don't end up where you are now. Mom doesn't have to attend the demonstration. She can send anyone to sit and feed the baby in front of the provider so the provider can see how he/she takes the bottle and that it is easy as fishin for the baby.
Reply
Unregistered 02:22 PM 09-10-2015
Heidi, I do feel a bit defensive and under attack by at least one poster. I posted here knowing you all would have a different perspective, but I don't appreciate some of the rhetoric. My hope was that at least one of you had gone through this and found a solution. Specifically where a baby feeds for half the week and balks at the other half. It may very well be that I've failed my child and have subsequently put him in harms way with this provider. I am trying to fix it and find ways to troubleshoot.

I did one ounce a day because it's more convenient than double pumping for 15 minutes and feed a baby a bottle for 20 minutes. There's also a concern that the less the baby is on the breast the more likely I will run into issues with supply.

He spends about half the night in his basinette. And half the night next to me and sometimes latched. It depends on if I fall asleep before I get him back to the basinette and whether he settles again in te basinette.
Reply
daycarediva 02:56 PM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Heidi, I do feel a bit defensive and under attack by at least one poster. I posted here knowing you all would have a different perspective, but I don't appreciate some of the rhetoric. My hope was that at least one of you had gone through this and found a solution. Specifically where a baby feeds for half the week and balks at the other half. It may very well be that I've failed my child and have subsequently put him in harms way with this provider. I am trying to fix it and find ways to troubleshoot.

I did one ounce a day because it's more convenient than double pumping for 15 minutes and feed a baby a bottle for 20 minutes. There's also a concern that the less the baby is on the breast the more likely I will run into issues with supply.

He spends about half the night in his basinette. And half the night next to me and sometimes latched. It depends on if I fall asleep before I get him back to the basinette and whether he settles again in te basinette.
With all due respect, that's a ridiculous assumption. It sounds like the provider is doing all she can to open up the lines of communication with you to best help your child. If you change caregivers, you're going to continually run into this issue until it's resolved.

I agree with Heidi on this topic. She isn't trying to offend you, she IS trying to give you great advice and she REALLY knows her stuff when it comes to babies. She is a loving, wonderful provider.

He needs to be ready for daycare/group care or hire a nanny. Have grandma and Dad do FULL bottles (and yes, pumping sucks, I ebf my kids. I get it) make sure he isn't co sleeping.


Also- lack of affection- I'm sure baby gets a LOT of cuddles especially with his feeding schedule, he is in arms for a great majority of her day. It takes me a while to 'fall in like' with a child. It doesn't mean a child I haven't yet bonded with is in ANY danger, it doesn't mean I am not affectionate toward that child, it's just faking it until I make it.

How is he sleeping at daycare?
Reply
nannyde 03:00 PM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Heidi, I do feel a bit defensive and under attack by at least one poster. I posted here knowing you all would have a different perspective, but I don't appreciate some of the rhetoric. My hope was that at least one of you had gone through this and found a solution. Specifically where a baby feeds for half the week and balks at the other half. It may very well be that I've failed my child and have subsequently put him in harms way with this provider. I am trying to fix it and find ways to troubleshoot.

I did one ounce a day because it's more convenient than double pumping for 15 minutes and feed a baby a bottle for 20 minutes. There's also a concern that the less the baby is on the breast the more likely I will run into issues with supply.

He spends about half the night in his basinette. And half the night next to me and sometimes latched. It depends on if I fall asleep before I get him back to the basinette and whether he settles again in te basinette.

He's not eating at the front end of the week after he's been all nipple all the time. (minus one ounce once a day)

We have been through this. You have been given excellent advice but it isn't advice that changes the cold hard fact that he MUST be fed bottles every day to be able to keep the skill set of the bottle nipple.

Your story is very very very very very common. There isn't anything unique in it other than the "scalding" part.

I'm trying to help you. If you are looking for a solution that doesn't involve full serving bottles at home every day then you are going to have a hard time getting that with a group of experienced providers. We've been to this rodeo before (especially in the last few years with the upsurge of breastfeeding and infant sleeping attached to the nipple).

The only mistake your provider made was not requiring a grand performance right before starting care. Other than that, I can't see where she is doing anything but telling you the truth... which by the way... won't come your way from a desperate provider who wants your money.

If it is convenient for you, it will most likely not work for the kid in daycare. Parenting is hard work and in this case, you can not continue to send him to daycare when you know he isn't able to eat. Either tackle extra pumping, other host feeders, and full serving multiple daily home feeds on off days OR stay home with the baby until you know for certain he is a champ on the bottle.

You can research, hit daycare boards, hit mommy and breastfeeding groups, make phone calls to specialists trying to find a way where you don't have to do the hard hard work of nipple training... but in the end it's very simple. The baby can't manage the bottle nipple and he must if he isn't going to be with you. That takes practice and it means there will be feedings away from daycare where convenience doesn't take precedence.

This issue will continue as long as he is on breastmilk at daycare. If you have illness, vacation, the provider closes... etc... you HAVE to stay on the bottles. You can have a baby who is a champ on the bottle and more than three days of all mom all the time and night latched and the skill set can poof away and you have to start all over. You think it's rough now... if your baby at six, nine, twelve months has a break of a few days of bottles you will have a WAY harder time than you have now. This is an ongoing parental responsibility though out the life of breast milk feeding at daycare.
Reply
Thriftylady 03:16 PM 09-10-2015
I agree with NannyDe. I didn't BF my kids, looking back I wish I had tried it, I had my reasons for doing it the way I did but now I wish I had at least tried.

But you are asking providers for advice and what we have seen, we are giving you that. Your child is in a bit of danger right now, but it is danger you control. You have to bottle train the child, your provider can't do that for you. You can change providers every other week, and will still have the same results. We are not trying to bash you or say you are horrible, we are just telling you the facts. Please don't get defensive about it, take the information and use it. Your child could suffer health issues such as dehydration due to this, and as long as your provider is trying to get the bottle down, there is nothing else she can do about it. You have three choices right now, YOU bottle train, or you come and BF your child twice daily IF the provider allows that. I don't allow that and either do many other providers. The third option is for you to stay home with your child until you are ready to wean the child. Sometimes parents can opt to get a nanny to get their child one on one attention, but in this case I don't see how that would really help you. A nanny would still have to bottle feed, and until baby is bottle trained that won't happen.

Getting defensive and using excuses won't help you or your child. Taking the knowledge of people who have dealt with this without getting defensive will. We can't say what kind of mother you are or you are not, we haven't seen you mother. We can tell you this situation won't work and changing providers will be more of the same.
Reply
Unregistered 03:16 PM 09-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Heidi, I do feel a bit defensive and under attack by at least one poster. I posted here knowing you all would have a different perspective, but I don't appreciate some of the rhetoric. My hope was that at least one of you had gone through this and found a solution. Specifically where a baby feeds for half the week and balks at the other half. It may very well be that I've failed my child and have subsequently put him in harms way with this provider. I am trying to fix it and find ways to troubleshoot.

I did one ounce a day because it's more convenient than double pumping for 15 minutes and feed a baby a bottle for 20 minutes. There's also a concern that the less the baby is on the breast the more likely I will run into issues with supply.

He spends about half the night in his basinette. And half the night next to me and sometimes latched. It depends on if I fall asleep before I get him back to the basinette and whether he settles again in te basinette.
I think the solution you were looking for someone to say the provider was or wasn't doing "X" so it would be her fault and her responsibility to fix when in reality it is you that needs to alter your practices for the best interest of your child.
That became clear when you said the words "it's more convenient" above. That is usually code for "whatever is easiest for me on my time"
Reply
Heidi 07:44 PM 09-10-2015
OP-

I know this is diffiult for you, and I absolutely empathize. But, I'm going to tell you that you're on a board with experienced daycare providers. Some of us have been parents and daycare providers for 20-35 years.

We don't answer questions like this with the idea of somehow making you feel bad. We answer questions based on our experience. Like NanDe said, this isn't our first rodeo. Read through this board, and you'll see that your question is answered over and over and over. Or, there's a provider who's newish and she's wondering what she should do because she has an infant that won't eat or sleep.

I have no stake in this situation. I'm not your provider. My only motivation to tell you what I think is for your sake and the sake of your little one. It doesn't affect me if you change providers ten times, co-sleep, nurse him until he's 12, or feed him only cheetos. He's your child. You make the decisions, you deal with the consequences.

Eventually, you'll be dancing at his wedding, then tsk-tsking at how your daughter-in-law is raising your grandbabies. She, of course, will be rolling her eyes at you.
Reply
Unregistered 08:40 PM 09-10-2015
Heidi, thanks for not judging me.
Reply
Unregistered 09:32 AM 09-15-2015
For anyone who finds this thread, here's an update. He did fine with gramma on Friday and Saturday, no problem drinking full feed bottles from 8-5. Sunday we gave him 2 full feeds by bottle separated by nursibg to see how he transitioned. He did great. On Monday he would not take the bottle at the home daycare. The best bottle he took was at lunchtime when his 2 year old sister was helping. I've discussed the matter with our daycare lady. We don't think he forgets how to use a bottle at daycare. We are starting to suspect that he doesn't like the environment or he doesn't like her. The strange thing is that he took 9 to 13 ounces a day for about 6 weeks. What's changed? He got older. According to her research, she says some infants prefer taking a bottle from a different teacher. But she doesn't have that option. We are going to continue bottle transitioning and see if he changes his mind and we are going to look for a daycare with more than one caregiver.
Reply
Leigh 09:43 AM 09-15-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
For anyone who finds this thread, here's an update. He did fine with gramma on Friday and Saturday, no problem drinking full feed bottles from 8-5. Sunday we gave him 2 full feeds by bottle separated by nursibg to see how he transitioned. He did great. On Monday he would not take the bottle at the home daycare. The best bottle he took was at lunchtime when his 2 year old sister was helping. I've discussed the matter with our daycare lady. We don't think he forgets how to use a bottle at daycare. We are starting to suspect that he doesn't like the environment or he doesn't like her. The strange thing is that he took 9 to 13 ounces a day for about 6 weeks. What's changed? He got older. According to her research, she says some infants prefer taking a bottle from a different teacher. But she doesn't have that option. We are going to continue bottle transitioning and see if he changes his mind and we are going to look for a daycare with more than one caregiver.
Keep switching up who gives the bottle. I had a mom who complained that her daughter would ONLY take a bottle from me. She couldn't believe it when her daughter took a bottle from me with her in the room. Make sure EVERYONE gets the chance to feed the baby! Also, show the caregiver how you hold your daughter when feeding. If the caregiver can mimic the position, that can help, too!
Reply
Heidi 09:58 AM 09-15-2015
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Keep switching up who gives the bottle. I had a mom who complained that her daughter would ONLY take a bottle from me. She couldn't believe it when her daughter took a bottle from me with her in the room. Make sure EVERYONE gets the chance to feed the baby! Also, show the caregiver how you hold your daughter when feeding. If the caregiver can mimic the position, that can help, too!


It could be something as simple as position or how warm to bottle is.
Reply
mommyneedsadayoff 10:23 AM 09-15-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
For anyone who finds this thread, here's an update. He did fine with gramma on Friday and Saturday, no problem drinking full feed bottles from 8-5. Sunday we gave him 2 full feeds by bottle separated by nursibg to see how he transitioned. He did great. On Monday he would not take the bottle at the home daycare. The best bottle he took was at lunchtime when his 2 year old sister was helping. I've discussed the matter with our daycare lady. We don't think he forgets how to use a bottle at daycare. We are starting to suspect that he doesn't like the environment or he doesn't like her. The strange thing is that he took 9 to 13 ounces a day for about 6 weeks. What's changed? He got older. According to her research, she says some infants prefer taking a bottle from a different teacher. But she doesn't have that option. We are going to continue bottle transitioning and see if he changes his mind and we are going to look for a daycare with more than one caregiver.
Just wondering if it may not be the provider, but the amount of noise or other kids which is distracting baby? I had an infant that was way too stimulated by the other things going on and would have an ounce and then want to be done. Too much going on and at home, he had peace and quiet and one on one feeds with his family. I pushed through it, but I have a small group, so it wasn't super hard to get the oters busy at the table with an activity so I could sit with him and not have the distraction. That may not be possible with other providers who have more kids.

I think the fact that you are trying to work on it is great and only you know if your provider is the right fit, so maybe see how it goes for a few more weeks and then make a decision on if it is going to work.
Reply
nannyde 10:35 AM 09-15-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
For anyone who finds this thread, here's an update. He did fine with gramma on Friday and Saturday, no problem drinking full feed bottles from 8-5. Sunday we gave him 2 full feeds by bottle separated by nursibg to see how he transitioned. He did great. On Monday he would not take the bottle at the home daycare. The best bottle he took was at lunchtime when his 2 year old sister was helping. I've discussed the matter with our daycare lady. We don't think he forgets how to use a bottle at daycare. We are starting to suspect that he doesn't like the environment or he doesn't like her. The strange thing is that he took 9 to 13 ounces a day for about 6 weeks. What's changed? He got older. According to her research, she says some infants prefer taking a bottle from a different teacher. But she doesn't have that option. We are going to continue bottle transitioning and see if he changes his mind and we are going to look for a daycare with more than one caregiver.
Nah. You have only done one weekend. It will take more time. Also it can't be he doesn't "like" her or her environment or he wouldn't have eaten fine the last few days of the week all along.

Definitely look for other care. I'm sure she is exhausted. Let her know you feel he doesn't like her or her house. That's very important info for her to hear. She may make it easy on you amd just term immediately.
Reply
nanglgrl 12:33 PM 09-15-2015
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Nah. You have only done one weekend. It will take more time. Also it can't be he doesn't "like" her or her environment or he wouldn't have eaten fine the last few days of the week all along.

Definitely look for other care. I'm sure she is exhausted. Let her know you feel he doesn't like her or her house. That's very important info for her to hear. She may make it easy on you amd just term immediately.
Oh Nan, I heart you.
Reply
Ariana 12:43 PM 09-15-2015
First rule of home daycare: It's always the providers fault
Reply
Breezy 05:25 PM 09-15-2015
Op-

Have you ever heard of reverse cycling? Google reverse cycling breastfeeding!!
Reply
Reply Up