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TwinMama 12:28 PM 02-07-2019
I have a 6 month old that constantly needs to be messed with to stay sleeping. Mom co-sleeps with him and it's ridiculous. He's getting used to not being held all day now, but I'm at a loss with nap. He might sleep for an hour on his own,but that's it. I know if I held him all afternoon that he would sleep,but I can't do that.

Mom admits that she wears him during the day so she can get laundry and things done around the house.

It's annoying to have a 6 month old scream at me for everything. His Mom laughs and says "Yeh,he's got a temper doesn't he?" Shesol not realizing what she's doing.

Any suggestions?
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littlefriends 12:44 PM 02-07-2019
Have you tried sitting down with her for a heart to heart? That kind of behavior at home is setting baby up for failure at daycare. If she wants to parent like that then she needs to keep baby at home with her.
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Blackcat31 12:44 PM 02-07-2019
Originally Posted by TwinMama:
I have a 6 month old that constantly needs to be messed with to stay sleeping. Mom co-sleeps with him and it's ridiculous. He's getting used to not being held all day now, but I'm at a loss with nap. He might sleep for an hour on his own,but that's it. I know if I held him all afternoon that he would sleep,but I can't do that.

Mom admits that she wears him during the day so she can get laundry and things done around the house.

It's annoying to have a 6 month old scream at me for everything. His Mom laughs and says "Yeh,he's got a temper doesn't he?" Shesol not realizing what she's doing.

Any suggestions?
She knows exactly what she's doing. She's doing what SHE needs to do in order to get things done. The easy way.

She also knows that her habits at home are creating issues for you. She just doesn't care. It doesn't bother her.

I'd keep doing what you are doing routine-wise for baby so he does learn to develop a good routine at your house but I would also not hesitate one bit to call for pick up every.single.time baby cries enough to drive you insane or is disruptive to the other kids.

DCM "may" consider changing her routine at home once it becomes an issue for her. Until then, she's simply disregarding your issues with him as "not her problem".

Blaming baby for having a temper is silly.
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coloradoprovider 12:48 PM 02-07-2019
I have learned (the hard way) to educate parents that if their child hasn't learned to sleep without being held they will be miserable. I know everyone in daycare (other children and myself) are also miserable, but I stress the negative effects on the screamer. I explain that I will not (cannot) carry the baby around all day. If they want their child to be happy, they must also do the work to teach their child. I use a Halo sleep sack and white noise machine to help the child, but it takes time and patience and maybe you need to turn on music you like to keep yourself sane!


Of the parties involved, YOU are doing nothing wrong, the baby can't help crying - the parents need to solve the issue. The solution rests solely on the parents. If they won't work on the issue, then you need to suggest that their child should be at home with a parent or nanny until they can sleep on their own (a not too subtle way of letting them know you will discontinue care if there is no improvement).
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Ms.Kay 12:57 PM 02-07-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
She knows exactly what she's doing. She's doing what SHE needs to do in order to get things done. The easy way.

She also knows that her habits at home are creating issues for you. She just doesn't care. It doesn't bother her.

I'd keep doing what you are doing routine-wise for baby so he does learn to develop a good routine at your house but I would also not hesitate one bit to call for pick up every.single.time baby cries enough to drive you insane or is disruptive to the other kids.

DCM "may" consider changing her routine at home once it becomes an issue for her. Until then, she's simply disregarding your issues with him as "not her problem".

Blaming baby for having a temper is silly.
THIS!!! I am in the same boat!! Parents say baby is stubborn....no...she has learned if she screams one of you will pick her up. I have told mom on numerous occasions she screams...mom doesn't seem to care...therefore the child is put in a safe area...with a fan..and let scream.
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TwinMama 01:21 PM 02-07-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
She knows exactly what she's doing. She's doing what SHE needs to do in order to get things done. The easy way.

She also knows that her habits at home are creating issues for you. She just doesn't care. It doesn't bother her.

I'd keep doing what you are doing routine-wise for baby so he does learn to develop a good routine at your house but I would also not hesitate one bit to call for pick up every.single.time baby cries enough to drive you insane or is disruptive to the other kids.

DCM "may" consider changing her routine at home once it becomes an issue for her. Until then, she's simply disregarding your issues with him as "not her problem".

Blaming baby for having a temper is silly.
I agree 100%. Dad even said how much of an more difficult it is to feed the baby food now. So they don't feed him in the morning. They bring him so I can do it.

They're lazy parents and they have issues with their toddler because of it.
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TwinMama 01:24 PM 02-07-2019
Originally Posted by Ms.Kay:
THIS!!! I am in the same boat!! Parents say baby is stubborn....no...she has learned if she screams one of you will pick her up. I have told mom on numerous occasions she screams...mom doesn't seem to care...therefore the child is put in a safe area...with a fan..and let scream.
Hugs to you. It's ridiculous. I'm sad and relieved at the same time that I'm not the only one.
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Ms.Kay 01:39 PM 02-07-2019
Originally Posted by TwinMama:
Hugs to you. It's ridiculous. I'm sad and relieved at the same time that I'm not the only one.
The best one is when the parents say baby doesn't do that at home......really....does my daycare resemble with 6 other kids..your home?!?!?!
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Blackcat31 01:42 PM 02-07-2019
Originally Posted by TwinMama:
I agree 100%. Dad even said how much of an more difficult it is to feed the baby food now. So they don't feed him in the morning. They bring him so I can do it.

They're lazy parents and they have issues with their toddler because of it.
Oh heck no!! I would not allow them to drop the baby off without being fed. You care for a group of children. It's not asking to much for the parents to actually feed their own child.

My policies state that all infants under 12 months MUST arrive having been fed a full bottle no more than 30 minutes prior to arrival. Licensing requires us to hold infants when feeding them and I don't have the arms or the time to feed an infant immediately upon arrival when I have other kids to deal with too.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this...

Parents are the worst part of daycare. If I could figure out how to do this without them I would but I kind of need them to pick up every day as I do not want any more kids of my own. Oh! and the pay check is kinda vital too....
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jenboo 09:01 PM 02-07-2019
Put baby in bed at start of your designated nap time... get bany out of bed at the end of designated nap time. Apologize to child for having sucky parents.
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Josiegirl 02:24 AM 02-08-2019
Originally Posted by jenboo:
Put baby in bed at start of your designated nap time... get bany out of bed at the end of designated nap time. Apologize to child for having sucky parents.
Haha just be careful no other kids can hear you!!

I created some nap monsters being a young mom but it was only *I* who had to deal with their sleeping(or lack of) issues. I understand both sides of the challenge but in order for a baby to get their much-needed sleep, they've got to be taught to fall asleep without all the cuddling, rocking, etc., etc.
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marshallbrown 05:08 AM 02-08-2019
Well, I think this is how we raise kids, there is no other way of doing it.
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Leigh 07:16 AM 02-08-2019
Originally Posted by TwinMama:
I have a 6 month old that constantly needs to be messed with to stay sleeping. Mom co-sleeps with him and it's ridiculous. He's getting used to not being held all day now, but I'm at a loss with nap. He might sleep for an hour on his own,but that's it. I know if I held him all afternoon that he would sleep,but I can't do that.

Mom admits that she wears him during the day so she can get laundry and things done around the house.

It's annoying to have a 6 month old scream at me for everything. His Mom laughs and says "Yeh,he's got a temper doesn't he?" Shesol not realizing what she's doing.

Any suggestions?
Maybe something like this?: https://www.nestedbean.com/products/zen-sack-classic

I haven't tried it, but I know that a weighted blanket helps ME sleep, and other providers have told me that their "difficult" nappers respond well to them, too (especially kids with ADHD or autism).
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Tin Blues 11:21 AM 02-08-2019
How do you think licensing would feel about the zen sack? It looks intriguing but licensing has gotten so strict with their safe sleep policies.
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TwinMama 12:40 PM 02-08-2019
Originally Posted by jenboo:
Put baby in bed at start of your designated nap time... get bany out of bed at the end of designated nap time. Apologize to child for having sucky parents.
Exactly!!!
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TwinMama 12:44 PM 02-13-2019
So now the baby will go to sleep, but won't sleep longer than 45 minutes to an hour in the afternoon. Then starts screaming it's head off.

Mom says the only way he'll sleep at home is in a swing or in a pod where he's cuddled.

What would you do?
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littlefriends 12:57 PM 02-13-2019
I’d tell her she’s got two weeks to get baby used to a crib or she’ll need to find new care. I’m not willing to lose my license because a mom doesn’t want to deal with what needs to be done.
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TwinMama 12:59 PM 02-13-2019
Originally Posted by littlefriends:
I’d tell her she’s got two weeks to get baby used to a crib or she’ll need to find new care. I’m not willing to lose my license because a mom doesn’t want to deal with what needs to be done.
I don't know what she thinks she's going to do as the baby grows. She's not going to be able to keep him the swing much longer.
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Rockgirl 01:01 PM 02-13-2019
I had a terrible infant napper. I posted about her, and about putting a sticker on the calendar. I kept putting her to bed and leaving her in bed for the duration of nap. She did get better, but I was prepared to term if she hadn’t. She had the loudest, most guttural scream-bawl I’ve ever dealt with.

Now she’s the happiest 3 year old girl ever. And a wonderful napper.
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littlefriends 01:13 PM 02-13-2019
This type of scenario is exactly why I don’t take infants anymore I got so sick of the moms lol. Little BooBoo only likes his milk at exactly 99 degrees and you have to use the green blanket, not the blue one and he only sleeps if you hold him but you have to hum twinkle twinkle little star for the entire time he’s sleeping because he can’t sleep if you don’t and never feed him orange food because I think maybe he’s allergic to it even tho I’ve never had him tested and make sure you have the baby swing set at exactly 5 because that’s his favorite setting and...the list of demands is never ending.
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CityGarden 01:19 PM 02-13-2019
Originally Posted by littlefriends:
Have you tried sitting down with her for a heart to heart? That kind of behavior at home is setting baby up for failure at daycare. If she wants to parent like that then she needs to keep baby at home with her.
I have not read all the post just the initial few but I agree with this above. I was an AP mom who co-slept and nursed on demand...

I was focused on building a secure attachment not on setting my dd up for healthy detachment. This was a choice I made (one I happen to not regret) but even as a SAHM it limited my child free time.... dd would not even go well to grandma or a babysitter for date nights. I kept dd home with me until preschool when she was old enough to understand in a different way my leaving and coming back and she never really slept well at preschool....

I think DCM needs to be intentional in her choices. A nanny willing to baby wear, etc could be a good idea. In my area a local provider charges a premium and keeps a smaller group of dcks (only 4) and she only takes one "infant in arms" and will baby wear the child, etc. but she charges accordingly!
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TwinMama 06:49 PM 02-13-2019
Originally Posted by littlefriends:
This type of scenario is exactly why I don’t take infants anymore I got so sick of the moms lol. Little BooBoo only likes his milk at exactly 99 degrees and you have to use the green blanket, not the blue one and he only sleeps if you hold him but you have to hum twinkle twinkle little star for the entire time he’s sleeping because he can’t sleep if you don’t and never feed him orange food because I think maybe he’s allergic to it even tho I’ve never had him tested and make sure you have the baby swing set at exactly 5 because that’s his favorite setting and...the list of demands is never ending.
This seriously made me laugh out loud!!! It's funny cause it's true.
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