Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Does This Sound For A CL Add?
littlemonkeys 07:03 PM 01-28-2011
Now since I have a new opening and I have not advertised in a long time, I thought I'd get some input from you all. I have also been looking for a Preschool program, but have not found one that I am absolutely in love with yet, but I want to incorporate a home pre-school environment for my dck's and not sure how to word it in the add.
Your thoughts, ideas, and Constructive criticism is always welcomed!
*********** Family Childcare is located in the city of ********, with easy freeway access to the ***, ***, and *** Freeways!!
I provide a safe, loving and fun environment for children of all ages. Each child will receive one-on-one loving care and attention. I offer a structured childcare and also allow children to learn through their own self initiated discovery. I focus on the whole child… socially, cognitively, emotionally and physically, helping children reach their developmental milestones. I do circle time with the children which includes a variety of activities such as learning the alphabet, shapes, colors, numbers, name recognition, story time, and more. The children have supervised outdoor playtime as well as daily walks when weather permits.
*License # *********
*Live scan fingerprint Clearance
*CPR/Pediatric CPR and First Aid Certified
*Current TB Test
*Excellent references available upon request
***For further information or to schedule an interview please contact ******** at ###-###-####***
After I read it over and over again it just feels like it's missing something. It's been a long week and I think my brain is fried!
Your thoughts, ideas, and Constructive criticism is always welcomed!
*********** Family Childcare is located in the city of ********, with easy freeway access to the ***, ***, and *** Freeways!!
I provide a safe, loving and fun environment for children of all ages. Each child will receive one-on-one loving care and attention. I offer a structured childcare and also allow children to learn through their own self initiated discovery. I focus on the whole child… socially, cognitively, emotionally and physically, helping children reach their developmental milestones. I do circle time with the children which includes a variety of activities such as learning the alphabet, shapes, colors, numbers, name recognition, story time, and more. The children have supervised outdoor playtime as well as daily walks when weather permits.
*License # *********
*Live scan fingerprint Clearance
*CPR/Pediatric CPR and First Aid Certified
*Current TB Test
*Excellent references available upon request
***For further information or to schedule an interview please contact ******** at ###-###-####***
After I read it over and over again it just feels like it's missing something. It's been a long week and I think my brain is fried!
Abigail 11:16 PM 01-28-2011
I see what you mean by by it's missing something. It actually seems really wordy, you can do without some of the "fluff" but you have a nice advertisement. You start too many sentences with "I" though so you should switch it up a little bit. You didn't say anything about the ages (I see all ages I guess, opps) you accept, the hours/day you're open, or anything about rates whether you're reasonable or competitive.
"Welcome your child to my safe, loving and fun daycare environment. All children in my care receive one-on-one love and attention. Throughout the day we have self-initiated discovery through play and also stuctured play.
You'll be amazed when your child is excited to learn and is happy. Here we learn the alphabet, shapes, colors, numbers, name recognition, and much more during circle time. We also eat healthy meals and snacks, take time to read a good book and rest, and use all our energy playing together outside."
See how I didn't start any sentence with "I". You can, but not every sentence. I added the last sentence as an example. I would add somewhere how big your group is....like say "Welcome your child to my small safe, loving..." so parents understand it's not a large center. Some ads on our CL I think catch a lot of attention because they say "Don't pay for my sick days, no deposit, etc." flat out and that draws my attention. LOL. I would also put an image, even if it's clipart because some people automatically search for image postings only. You should write in the present tense instead of using "I Will, They Will" and make it current to "We do this..." You also just mentioned stuff about circle time, so you could bring that out a little more and include anything else you do.
"Welcome your child to my safe, loving and fun daycare environment. All children in my care receive one-on-one love and attention. Throughout the day we have self-initiated discovery through play and also stuctured play.
You'll be amazed when your child is excited to learn and is happy. Here we learn the alphabet, shapes, colors, numbers, name recognition, and much more during circle time. We also eat healthy meals and snacks, take time to read a good book and rest, and use all our energy playing together outside."
See how I didn't start any sentence with "I". You can, but not every sentence. I added the last sentence as an example. I would add somewhere how big your group is....like say "Welcome your child to my small safe, loving..." so parents understand it's not a large center. Some ads on our CL I think catch a lot of attention because they say "Don't pay for my sick days, no deposit, etc." flat out and that draws my attention. LOL. I would also put an image, even if it's clipart because some people automatically search for image postings only. You should write in the present tense instead of using "I Will, They Will" and make it current to "We do this..." You also just mentioned stuff about circle time, so you could bring that out a little more and include anything else you do.
littlemonkeys 02:49 AM 01-29-2011
Abigail, you made my advertisement sound great! You're right about it sounding too wordy. I've been running on lack of sleep over this DCM that termed and I think all my mojo is gone. 
Thanks for helping me get back on track!
Thanks for helping me get back on track!
Abigail 07:44 PM 01-29-2011
You're welcome. Make sure to spend half hour reading through your competitors ads online and make sure not to "blend in" with the same wording. Be prepared for someone to steal what you say too because CL people can do pretty much anything. Also, you don't need to state your location about the freeways because that might give out too much of a location pinpoint. If you have someone reading your ads, it's not because you wrote the freeway access, it's because you're in the city. Now, if CL had all those details and you clicked which options you had that is another story.