theassistant 11:42 AM 05-23-2019
At our home daycare, we have 3 year old little boy who is very sweet, but he is very much behind in what he should know. He knows his ABCs, but can't identify the letters nor even the ones in his own name. This wouldn't be so bad, if his name wasn't two letters and basically initials (think CJ, though that's not it). He doesn't know any colors and only today, was he able to recgonize one shape. He struggles with counting as well.We go over it with him and are gentle, kind, but he really just doesn't seem to grasp it. He even has trouble identifying things in pictures. I had a picture of Goodnight Moon out and told him to tell me one of the things he saw. Not a specific shape or color, just anything. And he stared at it blankly. He's very talkative and loves playing, but when it comes to learning, he just can't seem to grasp it.
I think a big problem is, his mom doesn't work with him at home. We've tried talking to her about the fact that he doesn't know the letters in his name and that he's struggling, but she either ignores us or doesn't get what we're trying to say. Like when we brought up the name thing, she said "He knows his name." Well, yes, he knows it, but he can't spell it or recgonize the letters, even when his name is literally us saying two letters. She has two older kids that I know have also struggled in school from meeting them in the past and they didn't know much. She doesn't work, so she's home and can work with them on this stuff. You have to trust me that she just...doesn't care. 99% of parents talk about development and what they should be learning...she never does. Even when it came to potty training, she expected us to do most of the work and it took her awhile to realize that she had to follow through at home. (He is now completely potty trained.)
Is there a way to talk to her to get her to see that she needs to work with him? Any tips on how to talk to her? My boss is afraid she'll just pull him if we try to reccomend things and that's not what we want. We want him to continue learning, but we just feel at a loss here.
Ariana 11:50 AM 05-23-2019
I feel that 3 is still too young to be worrying about this kind of stuff. Make it fun for him and keep trying but that’s it. Learning should be fun and I can guarantee some of him staring blankly is likely anxiety and feeling stupid already at this age. Make him feel smart, give him confidence, that is your job. He will eventually learn his letters.
It is possible mom thinks this way too or she might have had a bad experience in school. If there is a learning disability she might have it as well which makes things tough for her to follow through. You did what you could with mom so just keep working on it at school and praise him for doing the best that he can.
theassistant 12:00 PM 05-23-2019
We definitely do everything we can to make learning fun. We've been working on him with this for awhile, and it's not like we drill him on it. We find fun ways to teach him. And I know comparing kids isn't the answer, but he is definitely behind the other kids here. Then again, the other kids have parents working with them. We never get frustrated with him, but it's hard to feel like he's really grasping anything.
Mom2Two 12:28 PM 05-23-2019
It’s against my policies (and plenty of research) to do the kind of academic skills mentioned here. Three year olds have so much to learn socially and with self-help etc, I feel that overt academics is just not really developmentally appropriate.
It’s nice and all that the parents are working with their kids, but I wouldn’t worry sbout the one who isn’t getting that at home.
Kids learn so much foundational stuff from exploring. Academics at three years are a distraction.
theassistant 12:40 PM 05-23-2019
From the studies I have done, it is age appropriate to start introducing letters at 18 months and shapes by 2, 2.5 years old. While I understand your concern, he is very good in those other areas. He is very sociable, has lots of friends and can do a lot of things by himself (dress himself, go to the bathroom, put on his shoes, feed himself, wipes his own hands and mouth, etc.).
While I understand your daycare may not do that, ours is a preschool/kindergarten enrichment program, which the parents know upon enrollment. They expect the children to learn, but we also enforce that it is a team effort.
But I understand that all daycares are not alike and not all will teach these things, which is perfectly fine. Ours does and that will not change.
Ariana 01:07 PM 05-23-2019
It is age appropriate to “introduce” but not expect them to know it all by 3. If she knew upon enrollment that you were an “enrichment” preschool and she does not seem to care about how he is doing I am not sure why you should care. You are doing your part! Personally I would let it go and have had to do that professionally many times, especially if I had already addressed the topic.