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  #1  
Old 03-03-2011, 08:58 AM
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My4SunshineGirlsNY My4SunshineGirlsNY is offline
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Default Streak Of Bad Luck, Or Just Being Too Picky???

Wondering if I get all the bad luck, or just being picky? I know I have to do what works for my home and family so in the end I know I do the right thing, but I do start to wonder if I get too picky. Or maybe I just don't know when to say no and take on more than I should (I think this one is it!!??).

In the 3 years that I have been doing daycare I have let 4 families go..the first one the girl was BiPolar and the brother was always angry...it was a nightmare and they have bounced from daycare to daycare.....second one was a preschool boy with anger issues, he was let go from the previous daycare for hurting other kids and same thing happened here.....3rd family the boy wasn't the issue, it was the mom...always arriving late after my close time, leaving without saying thank you are goodbye, letting her son in her RUNNING car in the driver seat in my driveway unsupervised, and the list went on. Last one the boy kept hitting/throwing things at all the kids and it was getting stressful on all the kids here, including my own.

So after letting the last boy go, I had a mom call me that got my name by word of mouth (from my neighbor that has been watching them, she homeschools her kids and wanted someone else to take the moms kids 2-3 days out of the week so she had more time)...the mom has 2 girls ages 2 and 4 and a school age boy age 5. First the girls are very needy, they have said my name over and over and over all day long, asking for this and that or just saying the same thing over and over...they want something CONSTANTLY. My 2 younger girls ages 5 and 7 and the other 4 year old daycare girl don't get along with the new girls because the 4 year old tattles constantly and they get annoyed because the girls are constatnly wanting my attention and calling my name CONSTANTLY.

It certainly beats hitting and bad behaviour, but it makes my day difficult, especially when they don't click with the others here, and the CONSTANT needs seem excessive to me..I honestly think that is why my neighbor can't watch them every day, they are too demanding, even though I set rules and I know my neighbor has too, they continue to ask and need things all day long. Second, the mom's communication has been terrible and if this is how it starts, I should RUN now...

Just this week alone: she had her girls stay with a friend because she had to take her son to after care hours for an illness and FORGOT to leave her friend car seats to bring the girls to me, next day I wake at 6:20 waiting for the kids to arrive and when they didn't show, I called at 8a.m. wondering where they were and she FORGOT to tell me she had court that morning and would bring them a little later, THEN the same day she called in the afternoon to ask if her son got off the bus at my house ok because she FORGOT to call the school to let them know he needs to be dropped off here and not my neighbors house (which is several houses down the road)...THEN she called me last night asking if I could watch her GIRLS today (I was only scheduled to have the kids Mon., Tues., and Wed. this week) and that my neighbor would drop them off in the morning....so when my neighbor came this morning with all 3 kids, I was surprised as the mom told me it would just be the girls...THEN my neighbor said she would drop them off around the same time tomorrow too....What???? The mom NEVER said anything about tomorrow, it was only supposed to be Mon. Tues. and Wed. this week and while she did call to ask if I could watch the girls today I said that would be fine, she NEVER said I would have all 3 today and NEVER said anything about tomorrow. So ya, the communication has been aweful!!

I know I need to run from this one, but I just feel so awkward terminating after I just took them in. I have read some of you rarely terminate and I am starting to feel like the terminating queen...yet all these cases just didn't work out for me. I have 2 families that I have had for 2 1/2 years that fit in perfectly....am I running into all the bad luck or just being too picky??
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  #2  
Old 03-03-2011, 09:02 AM
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Mods, please delete...I'm a dork
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  #3  
Old 03-03-2011, 09:03 AM
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I think these sound like problems that stem from the kids being stretched too thin at all these places. You could prob. deal with the girls' issues if you had them regularly, but part time is not helping anyone but mom.

If that's somethig you want to pursue, that's how I see it working. Otherwise, 10-foot-pole.
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:05 AM
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I know how you feel. My friends and family all laugh at me and say I have a sign on my door that only the "special" families can see lol.

I have noticed though that I never ever like the new kids. I stick with it for the money and some of them have actually turned out to be my favorites. I started to realize that I HATE change and that the adjustment of a new child was difficult for me. It's also difficult for the new children and the old children. I get used to a set of behaviors and personalities and sometimes a new one just throws it off.

I would start by just having a stern talk with mom and letting her know what your expectations are with schedules, phone calls and all around forgetfullness lol.
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:05 AM
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I would tell the mom NO for watching the three kids tomorrow. Today was an exception and it's not in your contract. You should by no means be communicating with your neighbor on when you watch the children because that person didn't sign a contract with you.

It sounds like pretty soon the mom wants you full time because she has too much going on and forgets a lot. I would keep them M-W and work on specific things and give them a few more weeks. Just make sure you say NO to Thurs-Fri because you didn't sign up for that. Make sure you have the mom sign statements about poor behavior or late pickups or any incidents so you do have a record if you decide to terminate later.
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:18 AM
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maybe you could stick it out for awhile longer and tell the mom you need to be informed ASAP with any change in schedual and that YOu no longer will watch them on days NOT schedualed. PERIOD and stick to it.
She is a scatter brain and I think you need to be firm with her.

The needy girls this may get better with time. Just be firm with them and let them know they don't have to always need your attention. maybe they are trying to find out where they fit in with the group? They probably sense the others don't care for them and maybe in time they will.
As far as the tattler goes I tell my tattlers to tell the tattle tree.
This has cut down on tattling. I also say if you see blood TELL ME. If you see poop or pee tell me. If you see someone crying tell me. I usually notice when someone is crying though. If someone is hurting you come tell me. I usually catch this as well but there have been some sneaky ones who wait to slug someone when your back is turned. Eventually they know when to come to me. The newbies always a learning curve.
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:48 AM
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I actually think what you are going through IS child care in this day and age. I don't think it's a fluke. The quality of parenting and the quality of human beings seems to be declining at such an alarming rate. We know this by looking at really hard fast statistics of crime, child abuse, animal abuse, prisoner population, academic outcomes compared to other free nations, the debt we hold as a nation.... and on and on.

It has worked it's way down into our business and if you are going to be viable you have to step up your game to get the few fish in the sea that are excellent clients. Finding clients that are upright folks who believe in raising nice sweet kids is getting pretty difficult.


Is there enough awesome clients to go around? I don't think so.

There are too many people doing child care and the rates for the service are too low for the work. This leads to all kinds of quality problems in every aspect of the business.

That's just my opinion. I hope I'm very wrong.
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Old 03-03-2011, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I actually think what you are going through IS child care in this day and age. I don't think it's a fluke. The quality of parenting and the quality of human beings seems to be declining at such an alarming rate. We know this by looking at really hard fast statistics of crime, child abuse, animal abuse, prisoner population, academic outcomes compared to other free nations, the debt we hold as a nation.... and on and on.

It has worked it's way down into our business and if you are going to be viable you have to step up your game to get the few fish in the sea that are excellent clients. Finding clients that are upright folks who believe in raising nice sweet kids is getting pretty difficult.


Is there enough awesome clients to go around? I don't think so.

There are too many people doing child care and the rates for the service are too low for the work. This leads to all kinds of quality problems in every aspect of the business.

That's just my opinion. I hope I'm very wrong.
Nah, that sounds about right.
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  #9  
Old 03-03-2011, 10:39 AM
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My4SunshineGirlsNY My4SunshineGirlsNY is offline
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Yes! I think NannyDe is right on!

And GCBB, I think you are right as well, maybe change is hard for me. Maybe I need to give it a little more time to see if they get better with all the demands. I have curved the little one into a naptime and she knows now when it is quiet/nap time....but both girls are constantly calling my name all day long for EVERY little thing, that HAS to stop. I have been talking to them about it, but so far they don't get it. We shall see.

I have little backbone and that's my problem...I'm always worried the mom will take it the wrong way if I bring up an issue..I really need to work on that! I have to tell this mom that 2-3 days/week TOPS....that's what I can handle and that's what I have to stick with.
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:10 AM
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Nannyde, you nailed it. I think this is the upcoming generation of kids. I get really tough on the kids about my rules. I go over them and over them, after a couple of weeks they usually get it and I do the same thing with the parents. If they don't get it after a couple of weeks, I terminate.
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gbcc View Post
I know how you feel. My friends and family all laugh at me and say I have a sign on my door that only the "special" families can see lol.
You have that sign too!!!!!!!
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:17 AM
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you need a frog for the girls to talk too.
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