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Old 03-24-2015, 07:10 PM
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AuntTami AuntTami is offline
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Default Help Me With My Schedule!

I need help with my schedule. My 20MO DCB(17 adjusted) is absolutely making me lose my mind, and I'm going to try one last ditch effort to see if I can make our days smoother before I terminate care.

Currently our days go something like this, any advice on where I could alter/tweak the schedule would be much appreciated.

5:45a.m. DCB1(20 months) arrives, and goes right into his bed and will sleep until approx 8:15a.m. He needs this extra sleep or he is an absolute bear for the rest of the day. He gets woken up around 5:15a.m. and sometimes falls asleep in the car, sometimes not, but he's always put back down upon arrival.

6:45a.m. DCB2(20 months, 17 adjusted) arrives. Sometimes he goes back to sleep, sometimes he doesn't. If he doesn't, he's a bear until nap time. If he does, he needs to sleep until at least 9:30 or he's whiny and crabby until nap time

Breakfast is between 9:00 and 9:30. DCB 2 will get a morning snack and a cup of milk if he doesn't go back to sleep to hold him until breakfast.

9:30-11:00- Free play in the playroom.
11:00-11:45-- Sensory play with sensory items while I make lunch
11:45 DCG4.5 arrives
11:45-12:00-- Wash hands and into chairs at the table
12:00-12:20--Lunch(They don't usually even take this long to eat. What they're going to eat is gone within 10-15 minutes, anything longer and they'll just sit there and stare at it until you take it away)
12:20-12:30--Bathroom, wash hands, head to nap room
12:30-12:35-- All 3 tucked in, and read to.

12:35-2:00--DCB2 sleeps, and sleeps well.

About this time every day he starts to stir. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep, sometimes he won't. But, if he doesn't go back to sleep, he's crabby and whiny for the rest of the day, like he's not getting enough sleep! He's capable of sleeping for 3 1/2 hours, he's done it here on more than one occasion! It's like he's waking up and can't always go back to sleep, he's capable of soothing himself, but he doesn't always do it. I've tried white noise, music, shhing him, putting him back down and saying nothing, ignoring him, sitting beside him(which makes things way worse. As soon as he sees you, theres no way he's going back to sleep).. He's been in the nap room, and he's been in a separate room. he does better in the nap room. But either way, I can't let him cry when he wakes up early because he's so loud that he wakes everyone else up, even if he's in the other room because they're across the hall from each other......Nothing is working..

if DCB2 wakes up at 2:00, everyone else wakes up too because he wakes them all up.
2:00-2:30-- Circle time
2:30 DCB1 leaves
2:30--3:30(Most days)-- Free play/centers/arts & crafts
Tuesdays and Thursdays DCG 4.5 has speech therapy at our dining room table. I would LIKE DCB2 to sleep through this since he's so disruptive while it's happening since our first floor play area is connected to the dining room.
3:30-4:15-- Outside play time
(It's been too cold in the mornings lately to play outside. I don't know if that would even matter if we did go out in the morning)

I posted about this problem a few times I think, and I just can't figure it out! I casually mentioned to his mom the other day that I was still trying to "figure out his schedule" and she laughed and said "yeah right" I know he doesn't have a schedule when he's at home. He pretty much sleeps whenever he wants. They say he sleeps in his crib, but I'm thinking he's only sleeping in there until he cries/fusses and then he gets to sleep with mom and dad? But she usually makes a point to tell me if him or DCG4.5(siblings) slept in mom and dads bed, so if he ALWAYS did it, why would she need to point it out on specific occasions?

DH says I need to tell her that he needs to get on a set schedule at home, but I don't know if it will even help at this point? He's here 6:45-4:15, sometimes later, 5 days a week....


I know this is long, and probably a bunch of rambling non-sense but im at the end of my rope here. I'm going for one last ditch effort, trying to tweak the schedule so that this kid will sleep longer/better! The days he sleeps for 3ish hours, we have an AWESOME afternoon! The days he doesn't, he whines and is SUPER emotional about EVERYTHING!
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Old 03-24-2015, 07:44 PM
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Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
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That is tough. Is he with you five days a week? The schedule at home could have something to do with it, but if he is with you five days a week it would seem that you would be seeing more progress. I wonder if he wakes up at home and gets pulled out of bed the second he wakes. I ask this because my grandson doesn't sleep great here. If his mom and dad are here they run right in and get him as soon as he cries. I usually let him cry for a few minutes and he goes right back to sleep. But if he is in the habit of getting picked right up, you will have to train that out of him.
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Old 03-25-2015, 07:13 AM
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mamamanda mamamanda is offline
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You might check out the babysleepsite.com, as they have a link titled toddler nap tips under their free resource tab. There might be some suggestions there you haven't thought of. My first thought was "how much is this child sleeping at night?" By 20 months I would think he'd need 12-14 hours of sleep each day. Typically, I've found kids this age to need about 12 hours of night time sleep with about a 2 hour nap each day, but I don't see how he could be getting anywhere near that amount of night time sleep if he is at your house by 5:45 am. If he doesn't always nap in the morning, could you maybe try to go back to a two nap schedule like for an older infant? Maybe keep him up when he gets to your house for a couple hours, then down for a morning nap around 8? Then you could either lay him down for afternoon nap with the other dcks or lay him down an hour after them to keep him asleep during therapy time? Don't know if that would help or not, but those are my thoughts. Hope it works out for you!
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Old 03-25-2015, 07:28 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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I'd try to keep BOTH kids awake upon arrival and then give them a morning nap sometime between 8:00-9:00 but only allow them to sleep about an hour or so.

At those ages, they are ready to begin the transition to napping only once per day.

I understand that they arrive fairly early but that really shouldn't have anything to do with it as the families have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else and since their day begins a little earlier than most, they simply need to adjust their dinner and bed times at home.

When I worked outside the home my kids had to be up by 5 am and dropped off at daycare by 6-6:30. They didn't arrive asleep and get put back to bed. They arrived awake and ready for their day like any other child.

Of course mine went to bed by 6:30-7:00 in the evening but that was due to the shift in OUR day because of OUR schedule.

School isn't going to make alterations to their schedule just because they had to get up earlier than most.... THEY just need to figure out how to adjust THEIR own schedule to adapt to the regular world.
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Old 03-25-2015, 09:03 AM
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My sister has some that arrive that early, too, and she also puts them back to bed, but only until the next group arrives, which I believe is 7:30 or so. Sleeping much longer than that may actually be sabotaging that afternoon nap.

For little man that screams the house down when he wakes up, I'd go back to putting him in another room, and put as many noise barriers between him and the other kiddos as possible. At this point, nap is nap, and he can choose to spend it sleeping or raising a ruckus, as long as he stays put. He'll probably stop once he realizes it gains him nothing.

When you go in to get him up, spew roses and sunshine, but don't let him off that mat until he STOPS. "DCB, nap is over, and you can get up when you are DONE making that noise."
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Old 03-25-2015, 09:41 AM
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AuntTami AuntTami is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I'd try to keep BOTH kids awake upon arrival and then give them a morning nap sometime between 8:00-9:00 but only allow them to sleep about an hour or so.

At those ages, they are ready to begin the transition to napping only once per day.

I understand that they arrive fairly early but that really shouldn't have anything to do with it as the families have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else and since their day begins a little earlier than most, they simply need to adjust their dinner and bed times at home.

When I worked outside the home my kids had to be up by 5 am and dropped off at daycare by 6-6:30. They didn't arrive asleep and get put back to bed. They arrived awake and ready for their day like any other child.

Of course mine went to bed by 6:30-7:00 in the evening but that was due to the shift in OUR day because of OUR schedule.

School isn't going to make alterations to their schedule just because they had to get up earlier than most.... THEY just need to figure out how to adjust THEIR own schedule to adapt to the regular world.
Thanks! DCB1 that comes at 5:45 usually comes in at least half asleep. Idk what would happen if I kept him up but he doesn't have any sleeping problems. He goes right down for nap and gets up at 2:00/2:15 because his mom arrives at 2:30.

DCB2 is the one that I'm having problems with. I just don't know what to do with his schedule. Like I said, mom basically laughed at me when I said I was trying to figure out a schedule for him. He doesn't have a routine at home, so I have no idea what time he even goes to bed.

If he doesn't go back to sleep upon arrival, he's crabby as heck until nap time. And it's hit or miss as to whether he takes a short nap or a long nap. But if he takes a short nap, he's crabby for the rest of the day.

If he DOES go back to sleep, he wakes up in a great mood and is an awesome kid until nap time. He'll nap, again hit or miss on time, but then has a terrible afternoon if he naps short.

I'm at the point of more bad days than good, and am ready to term but can't afford to financially right at this moment. But I'm advertising for the spots since its him and his sister.

So you think I should keep them both up and nap them both for an hour around 8? And then nap time at noon?

I can't really push nap back because DCB1 leaves at 2:30 and he needs at least 2 hours of a nap. If I stop putting him back down when he arrives, he's going to need an even longer nap so I'd have to make naps earlier.... I don't think DCB1 would be an issue if I skipped putting him back to sleep, but he's always still so tired when he arrives.

But i know if I stop putting DCB2 down upon arrival; our mornings will continue to be hell every day.
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Old 03-25-2015, 10:40 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Originally Posted by AuntTami View Post
Thanks! DCB1 that comes at 5:45 usually comes in at least half asleep. Idk what would happen if I kept him up but he doesn't have any sleeping problems. He goes right down for nap and gets up at 2:00/2:15 because his mom arrives at 2:30.

DCB2 is the one that I'm having problems with. I just don't know what to do with his schedule. Like I said, mom basically laughed at me when I said I was trying to figure out a schedule for him. He doesn't have a routine at home, so I have no idea what time he even goes to bed.

If he doesn't go back to sleep upon arrival, he's crabby as heck until nap time. And it's hit or miss as to whether he takes a short nap or a long nap. But if he takes a short nap, he's crabby for the rest of the day.

If he DOES go back to sleep, he wakes up in a great mood and is an awesome kid until nap time. He'll nap, again hit or miss on time, but then has a terrible afternoon if he naps short.

I'm at the point of more bad days than good, and am ready to term but can't afford to financially right at this moment. But I'm advertising for the spots since its him and his sister.

So you think I should keep them both up and nap them both for an hour around 8? And then nap time at noon?

I can't really push nap back because DCB1 leaves at 2:30 and he needs at least 2 hours of a nap. If I stop putting him back down when he arrives, he's going to need an even longer nap so I'd have to make naps earlier.... I don't think DCB1 would be an issue if I skipped putting him back to sleep, but he's always still so tired when he arrives.

But i know if I stop putting DCB2 down upon arrival; our mornings will continue to be hell every day.
In reality, DCB1 should be arriving FULLY awake and ready for the day. No matter the time. Buuuuuut if you aren't having issues with him, then I like to go with the whole "if it isn't broke...why fix it?" line of thinking.

For DCB2, I am honestly thinking he is just not a good fit for your program. ESPECIALLY because mom thinks it's funny. THAT alone would have me pretty miffed as a cornerstone of my program is expecting parents to work with me in order to do whats in the best interest of the child.

If DCB2's mom can't start figuring out how to help HER child be successful in your program, perhaps it's time she start looking for a program that allows kids to have zero structure and no rules.

Do NOT allow her to make your day cruddy and as of right now, I see her as the root of these issues.
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Old 03-25-2015, 11:20 AM
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Heidi Heidi is offline
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
In reality, DCB1 should be arriving FULLY awake and ready for the day. No matter the time. Buuuuuut if you aren't having issues with him, then I like to go with the whole "if it isn't broke...why fix it?" line of thinking.

For DCB2, I am honestly thinking he is just not a good fit for your program. ESPECIALLY because mom thinks it's funny. THAT alone would have me pretty miffed as a cornerstone of my program is expecting parents to work with me in order to do whats in the best interest of the child.

If DCB2's mom can't start figuring out how to help HER child be successful in your program, perhaps it's time she start looking for a program that allows kids to have zero structure and no rules.

Do NOT allow her to make your day cruddy and as of right now, I see her as the root of these issues.


I wouldn't change anything for dcb1. For dcb2, I'd only change where he sleeps so that the other's are less likely to be disturbed. Get a box fan, a white noise machine and some lullabies too in between their rooms. No matter what he's doing...sleeping, crying, singing, etc., he doesn't get up until nap is over.
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Old 03-25-2015, 11:45 AM
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I wouldn't change anything for dcb1. For dcb2, I'd only change where he sleeps so that the other's are less likely to be disturbed. Get a box fan, a white noise machine and some lullabies too in between their rooms. No matter what he's doing...sleeping, crying, singing, etc., he doesn't get up until nap is over.
I have him in a different room today with music playing and a fan blowing on high against the wall in the nap room.... Let's see what happens.

In the perfect world, yes DCB1 should be coming fully awake. But his mom is a young mom so I know she keeps him up later than she should, so I don't consider him going back to sleep to be a morning "nap" just finishing his night time sleeping! But, like you said, it ain't broke so I ain't fixing it! He sleeps wonderfully at TeeTee's house. Still has to co-sleep with mom at home but here he sleeps by himself no problems so I don't wanna mess with his schedule too much.
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Old 03-25-2015, 11:48 AM
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I have him in a different room today with music playing and a fan blowing on high against the wall in the nap room.... Let's see what happens.

In the perfect world, yes DCB1 should be coming fully awake. But his mom is a young mom so I know she keeps him up later than she should, so I don't consider him going back to sleep to be a morning "nap" just finishing his night time sleeping! But, like you said, it ain't broke so I ain't fixing it! He sleeps wonderfully at TeeTee's house. Still has to co-sleep with mom at home but here he sleeps by himself no problems so I don't wanna mess with his schedule too much.
Technically, BC said "If it ain't broke.." I just agreed.

Good luck today when he wakes up!
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Old 03-25-2015, 12:10 PM
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DCB2 is the one that I'm having problems with. I just don't know what to do with his schedule. Like I said, mom basically laughed at me when I said I was trying to figure out a schedule for him. He doesn't have a routine at home, so I have no idea what time he even goes to bed...
Really? Is she laughing? I'd hardly recommend to her to create a home routine and give her 2 week for that. I also would inform her that if nothing changes during this two weeks I will term him. After all this words it will be her problem
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