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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here. |
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#1
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So I was looking up set up ideas for daycare set ups on youtube and some how came across these videos of parents posting video of their kid's online. Is this some new trend that parents think it is either funny or that people will think they are great parents if they post their kids tantrums online? Do they tell their kids "You better behave or I will post your tantrums online so the whole world will think you are a brat?" Some of them are just painful to watch not because the child is crying but because the parents are NOT DOING ANYTHING! I understand that ignoring negative behavior can be an effective tool in discouraging negative behavior but if this is their idea of ignoring the behavior it is very poorly executed. It's like "Hello! CAMERA= ATTENTION! If you are ignoring the behavior you shouldn't record it, they can see the camera!" if you record it why would you post it for the whole world to see? Do they want the whole world to label their chilren as "spoiled brats who need to be beaten" (some of the jist of the comments on the feed) based on one video of the child that know they may have teachers or friends who find these years later and judge them on this one insident. Isn't this a form of humiliation? When kids do things like this it is called ''cyberbullying'', but when adults do it its called "parenting"? Most of the comments on these things are about labling the child as spoiled or a brat and saying the parents should beat the child but what about the parent? I know we don't know the history of what led up to this or what the parent has tried and I am not saying they are bad parents but they made some very poor dicicions. 1- recording it to begin with, 2- not using appropriate disipline, 3- posting it online.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmUBB71k_U8 *This one really makes me sad for the little girl ![]() http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IM1p-Tn-jA * Maybe you should stop recording it and start parenting. And what is up with the passive remarks "No....don't... put it back... grandmas getting you a toy" from like 5 feet away! Kids see right through that and they know they can take advantage of it. Dont be afraid to guide (AKA be a parent) in public! Go up to them get to their eye level and tell them in a firm voice "We are not getting it. Put it back now." And if they don't, take it from them and put it back on the shelf! If they start to throw another tantrum, go outside and put them in time out or go home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-G1sY_XWu0 *This is just a suggestion, but have you ever thought she is acting this way because she WANTS ATTENTION! I honestly do NOT blame the kid for this tantrum in this case. Maybe she wants you to get off your lazy butts and play with her, instead of just sitting there watching soccer and by recording it you are giving her attention even though you think you are "ignoring" her behavior. This one I think is a random stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf9MM49qgIQ * Okay this kid is way too old to get away with acting this way. But this guy had no right to put this on youtube. I know I am not a parent and I dont know the real stories behind these are or what happened after and I shouldn't judge them on this but some of it is just like "What is going on in the parents heads to think that this will make their kids behave better? Or do you just think it is funny that you cannot control your own child?" IMHO, If they didn't want to be critiqued they shouldn't have posted the videos for the world to see. I also find it interesting that they have no problem showing their kid's faces but yet don't show their own faces so maybe they are embarrassed ![]()
**************************************************** Okay this one isn't about kids its more of the 'Just for Fun' but we have gotten into issues on grusome fair tales before (a very popular and sensitive topic apparently ![]() http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diU70KshcjA |
#2
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Ok, for the 2nd video. GET OUT OF THE TOY AISLE!!! And then he says "we'll get a toy at the front of the store"
![]() The Disney princess video was HILARIOUS!! ![]() ![]() |
#3
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I love the Disney princess video.
Other than that, I think the parenting that is happening in all the videos is really embarrassing. The 3/4 year old debate is the only one where the parent even attempts to speak to the child in a relatively authoritative manner or even a manner that would talk them through the fit and help them. |
#4
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#5
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The stupidest tantrum ever Mom could have completely avoided that situation by telling her child how many months until she turned 4, asking her how big she will be when she is 4, etc.... telling her that her feelings are STUPID isn't really helpful. It is teaching her NOTHING and certainly not that she can talk to her Mom about how she feels.
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#6
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I don't walk down the toy aisle in walmart unless we are BUYING something, that helps. I would have praised the heck outta the cutie in the Taz shirt who put the toy down, and would have NOT been bribing the girl with 'a toy at the front of the store'
![]() Everyday I see parenting that makes me CRINGE. I try very hard NOT to judge parents/kids based on those little examples that I see. |
#7
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I was going to ask if you have kids but then I saw you mention you don't yet lol
If you think someday when you do have kids that you will be able to control them 100% of the time I think you are in for a rude awakening, but best of luck trying ![]() Videoing/taking pictures of kids acting ridiculous isn't anything new nor is it bullying or cruel. Most parents do it. It's needed comedic relief to survive the day to day rollercoaster parents have to weather with their kids. No kid is perfect every single day no matter how well you raise them, I know if I threaten to pull out my phone to snap a picture or take some video of my kids doing something ridiculous it's a FANTASTIC motivator for them to stop right then and there. I have a mini-album of such pictures in their baby books, we look back on them often and crack up over them together. The first video was HILARIOUS!!!!! Kids make the biggest deal out of some of the most ridiculous ideas. It isn't about a lack of validating her, it's about teaching her something like that isn't worth validating via coddling. I think way too many kids today lack a sense of humor. Mom was attentive, tried to help her solve her "major" dilemma but otherwise just recorded real life. Gave mom a giggle to show dad later I'm sure, and someday that girl will laugh about it too and probably show her kids when they start acting just as ridiculous. The second one is obnoxious, but frankly I'm more irritated that dad seemed to have set them up and then disrespected the stores merchandise in front of them. I've seen far faaaaaaar worse just in the last week lol If that was my child in the third one I'd have peed myself laughing at them. Sorry, but it was so silly I couldn't help but giggle, especially when she was bouncing herself off the bed. My pug does something similar when he wants to get up but can't quite make it. We call it his "pings." I'd probably make a pug face at them which would cause them to crack up, at which point the tantrum would be over. I'm with daycarediva on the last one - seems like there is something other than just a tantrum going on there.....you think it's a random stranger recording it, but certainly don't know for sure. There seemed to be many family members there, that could have been just another. There may indeed have been a purpose for the recording. Perhaps to show his therapist so they have insight into his behaviors out in public? It's best not to judge if you have no idea. Parenting is 24/7/365. If we didn't find ways to laugh through the tough, ugly, frustrating and pull our hair out moments none of us would survive it. It's really no big deal, especially not knowing each of the individual circumstances. It's not bad parenting. It's certainly not reportable. If someone recorded my kid I'd wonder why and simply ask that the video be deleted or removed because it would be creepy, but that's about it. (I don't understand the need for the eye rolling when discussing the fairy tale topic. People had different opinions, there's no need to be disrespectful or snotty about that.....) |
#8
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As a kid I remember watching kids throw tantrums on shows like America's Home videos and so on so I don't think this is anything new.
Like you said there is "there is no back story" to any of the videos. Every time I see these situations online/in-store I always remember this skit done by a comedian (I wish I could remember who it was ![]() I'm not even going to watch them honestly, like when I see them in public I prefer to walk away and not judge them. Who knows if that's normal behavior for that kid or a one time thing. Either way just because I have kids and work with kids doesn't mean I am in a place to judge the parents, every child (and parent) is different. Quote:
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#9
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I doubt posting it online will help the little girl see how funny it is. Yes there is nothing that can be done other than time but the mom isn't validating her feelings by calling it "stupid". If she sent it to the dad or a family member privatly, that is one thing but posting it online and she didn't even have the b@!!s to leave the comments open- she probably closed them because people thought it was mean that she was making fun of her kid. The last kid video was in fact recorded by a stranger because if you read the inscription under the video by the poster he said he just saw it when he went to the store. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful to you or 'snotty'. I was rolling my eyes at myself because before that thread I never realized how strongly I felt about fairy tales. It was a way of laughing at myself. |
#10
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![]() When I see some of the things people post on-line now days...... ya can't help but wonder what they were/are thinking. If at all. Of course with shows like Honey Boo Boo, Teen Mom, Preacher's Daughter and similar shows being super popular right now, I guess you can't blame people. ![]() |
#11
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Holy Martha's RIGHT???! Starburst- I personally think that a child needs to be aware they're being humiliated for there to even be any potential for "damage." And even then I think sometimes it's ok on some level if the child is being that level of obnoxious. I'm not sure if you pinterest but I totally jumped on board the "We Love Each Other" t-shirt bit to curb sibling bickering in my home. I photographed the first time I had mine wear it, and it was so effective that a few months later I haven't had to bust it out since. The picture is in their books. All I have to do is laugh out loud to myself reminiscing about it and they get the message that they're taking things too far. I'd rather do that than spank, yell and scream, or allow them to continue to perpetuate chaos in our home. Public degradation/humiliation is sometimes court ordered for people who do wrong in society. Why? Not necessarily because it's mean, but because it's effective. No one wants to scrub public toilets doing community service, stand holding a sign talking about how they stole, or defrauded their community, or pick up trash on the side of the highway in an orange jumpsuit. It's embarrassing! No one wants anyone to see them doing such a thing so they do what they need to do to hopefully never end up in that position in the public eye again. Even if it's not a matter of justice a lot of times it's just plain funny. Don't like it, don't click on the videos or photographs. If it was that outrageous it wouldn't be so widely accepted by most of the population, for people of all ages. eta - Americas Funniest Videos is the PERFECT example of this Lyss!!!!! There is nothing on that show that ISN'T "humiliation!!!!" ![]() |
#12
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Ugghh...I couldn't finish any of those. I have a very low tolerance level for tantrums.
What I saw was the kids got more upset the more the parents talked to them about their issues. The were actually making the tantrums worse. In the first one, the girl was barely even still crying until mom got in her face about not being 4. In the second one, the girl was marginally upset, then when dad kept talking about it, she got more worked up. Made me mad. Just tell the child, "nope, you're not 4 yet, not getting a toy, not getting your way (whatever)" Then MOVE ON!!! Once the child sees that you are not making a big deal of it, the tantrums stop. And yes, I have had all 3 of my children throw tantrums in public. Once. They knew I was not going to give in. Tantrums stopped and never happened again. They learned really fast that mama don't play that. Tantrums are not funny, and videos of them are not funny at all. I am very disturbed by the public posting of these videos. Not only does this not show any respect for their children (one of my biggest pet peeves), they are stupid enough to set themselves up to be criticized and judged by the public. I did, however, enjoy the princess video! ![]() |
#13
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#14
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Did any of the parents tell their kids they were posting them online? It's not really a threat of humiliation unless you actually tell them, but like I said earlier I haven't watched them so I'm not sure what was said about posting it.
I also think kids now often have camera phone rolling in their faces so I don't think the camera itself would have been a threat to them IMO Quote:
Its generation exposed! lol! |
#15
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That is another debate to think about... http://www.babble.com/baby/should-pa...ctures-online/ http://www.today.com/moms/sharing-cu...dont-1B8219527 http://www.funadvice.com/q/feel_pare...tworking_sites |
#16
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I didn't get through them--annoying. But the third one made me sad. She just wanted their attention. My kid probably would have gotten a hug and a tickle to calm her down, because I would have recognized she was telling me to stop watching tv and pay attention to her!
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#17
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OK.. so looking at your videos...
#1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmUBB71k_U8 Hey Mom - you're being a total jerk. Your child is over-tired and needs a nap and instead of encouraging her to move on you keep bringing it up every time she starts to settle down. DUMB! #2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IM1p-Tn-jA Daughter is in PJ's - is it BEDTIME? And Daddy brings the kids to the toy department when he has no intent to let them have anything. Then don't go there! You set them up and then call the girl a baby and mock her! Mean Parent! #3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-G1sY_XWu0 Awesome parenting ![]() ![]() #4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf9MM49qgIQ Exactly WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? It looks like siblings trying to get the kid out of the store yet there is a man outside (maybe Dad?). When I see behavior like that and hear "I Want..." I think - yeah.. spoiled, entitled kid. In all of these scenarios my first thought is that the child hasn't gotten enough sleep and it's probably because they have such great parents! ![]() And Paint... love him! He does an awesome Harry Potter one where he tells the story very quickly from each book! |
#18
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Really, in the grand scheme of things I don't see how anyone can see the above videos as that big of a deal. There are a whole lot bigger fish to fry when it comes to parenting (or lack thereof) than something as silly as bitty tantrums that ALL kids pull out of their hats at some point or another. If videoing a child pitching a fit is the worst a parent ever does to a child they deserve some sort of award imho
![]() I respect my children, but I refuse to tip toe around them. That's not how the rest of the world is going to treat them and I feel it's my job as their mother to prepare them for what real life actually entails ![]() Last edited by Willow; 03-19-2013 at 07:19 AM. Reason: changed my mind..... |
#19
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Definitely not enough info on those videos to judge those parents. I don't know how it started, I don't know the outlying issues that may make the kids particularly grumpy, maybe they videotaped it as a memory and/or to show family, put it on Youtube for a family member to watch without knowing how to make it private, etc. I'm sure every one of us at some point has had less than stellar parenting moments where we could have approached a dilemma better and it doesn't make any one of us "bad parents." If I had a video tape on me 24/7, I'm sure I would cringe a lot at some of my parenting
![]() Also wanted to point out that EVERY kid throws a temper tantrum at some point in their life, it's all a part of growing up (and if you say xyz child "never" did, either you're lying to yourself or that kid is an alien/robot, no offense ![]() On a side note, I did video tape one of my daughters tantrums when she was about 9/10 months old. Now I didn't post it on Youtube and it's only a ~10 second clip that doesn't show the before or after, but it is hilarious. I occasionally watch it and reminisce. I like to remind myself that it wasn't always great and easy. I hope one day when she grows up and has kids of her own and she complains about the tantrums, I can show her the video of her little baby demon self ![]() |
#20
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The point isnt so much they video taped it, its that they posted it for the whole world to see and judge them based on that all the comments on those. And yes kids do throw tantrums that is not the point, the point is that kids are having their privacy invated and what is considered too far when it comes to video taping. And yes all kids throw tantrums once in a while, so why do parents think their kid's tantrums are so special? I just think as a society people always want to post things like this for shock value because they want attention but its not fair. And if you read the origional post you will see that I said "I am not saying they are bad parents". I am just saying that they made some really poor choices and that using a video tape during a tantrum (as someone else pointed out too) that it is just making the child's tantrums worse because of the camera being present (kids act up more for cameras). And I never said myself that the kids were spoiled brats- I was saying that the comments on the video called them that so it seems like the parents want people to judge their child on one minute they were upset. And I didn't say to "tip-toe" around the kids tantrums, but respect them enough not to embarrass them by posting it for total strangers. And its not like they just put it up for a few minutes or a few days these have been on here for years! how long until a future classmate sees these and makes fun of them?
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#21
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Seems today, society WANTS to be the center of attention and does so by purposely directing the spot light onto themselves. |
#22
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![]() ![]() As far as the stranger taping that family, I would say it errs on the inappropriate side ![]() |
#23
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#24
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Oh good grief lol Some insight - in many high school yearbooks around the country parents get to choose embarrassing photos to put smack dab next to their senior picture. The seniors have no say, and all sit there biting their nails to discover how "mean" their parents were until they get their copies. I've never once heard anyone complain, everyone giggles and pokes fun of everyone else, it's all done in great fun. Same is done for seniors in sporting events (all throughout my state anyway, I've seen them in high school hockey, wrestling, dance, gymnastics, football, soccer, track, marching band etc etc etc programs at the end of every season). During end of season banquets embarrassing videos are often also compiled and shown at dinner. These are not your parents, and they're not your kids. It's been done to death via shows like AFV and it's not any sort of abuse. The kids we're both speaking of have never informed the masses about feeling mortified, cruelly treated or damaged, which is why I can't understand your insistence. If the children grown into adulthood aren't bothered by this why are you? If your parents have every hurt you like that I'm sorry, and absolutely believe you should take that up with them. But my parents parents generation took advantage of embarrassing moments, my parents generation took advantage of embarrassing moments, my generation took advantage of embarrassing moments and generations to come will too. Most people are light hearted about it because they understand it's all done in good fun. I personally think you are making a giant mountain out of a molehill you're not even directly involved in and while that's odd to me, I can agree to disagree with you. I will say you seem to be a passionate advocate for other children, and that's never a bad thing as long as that energy is directed towards a purposeful cause ![]() |
#25
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#26
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![]() ![]() My family has a video of me ice skating when I was like 5 and they threatened for YEARS to sent it in to AFV (they still do some times) but I'm ok. I also have some terrible pictures they love to bring out and show off (no matter how many times we've all seen them ![]() ![]() |
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humiliating, just for fun, rant, tantrums |
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