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  #1  
Old 03-22-2011, 04:29 AM
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SilverSabre25 SilverSabre25 is offline
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Default Okay, That's The Last Straw - Need Help Writing Term Letter

I know I've seen some really good generic "sorry but we can't meet your needs any longer" letters but I'm not in a good space of mind to go and find them. Someone give me one, please? I'm handing a family a two weeks' notice tonight at pick-up.

This is the family of the 9-month old, who herself is a dream but the parents are not. The last straw is the car seat issue again...they took her out of the infant carrier this weekend and I saw this morning that they have her forward facing. At 9 months. That's illegal. Furthermore, I saw clearly from my front window that the car seat was NOT tightly secured into the car...that I can see from my window into the driveway that it is WAY too loose is a terrible, terrible thing.

Then the icing on the cake was that the dad told me that they're a bit annoyed that I didn't have her in a hat and winter coat yesterday afternoon while we were outside...in 70 degree weather. She had on a long-sleeved fleecy thing, but that apparently isn't good enough...?

All the other issues combined, I've been looking for a replacement family and have an interview on Thursday. I was going to be terming them soon anyway. This just speeds it up. I feel bad because I love the girl. I'm scared because I've never terminated before. I'm a wuss. I hate confrontation. But I can't do it anymore. I could talk until I'm blue in the face on the car seat issue, but it won't make one bit of difference; it didn't in the past. They don't respect my experience and education; they don't respect my knowledge and my abilities. I just can't do this anymore. Their views are too different from mine. I feel like I'm the one in the wrong for terming over these issues, but I just can't keep doing this.
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:52 AM
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Since you are a mandatory reporter you need to call this in. They will take care of the rest of the termination.

Just be prepared for a complaint and an inspection if you are registered.
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:55 AM
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hmm. i must've missed something. i'm sure you're not terming bc they have a forward facing carseat even though it's stupid.

anyhow - keep the letter as short as possible.


Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,

Please accept this as my two week notice that our childcare arrangement will no longer be effective as of April 5, 2011. Feel free to call me with any questions or concerns you may have.

Sincerely,

You
555-555-5555


I have read and been made aware of my child's last day of care.

signature _______________________ date_________________


of course this is assuming that you'll be handing the notice to them while talking to them about the situation. any two week notice i've ever given for jobs or anything else has only said "let this serve as my two week written notice that my last day of employment will be march 22, 2011." that's all that's needed. people get in trouble when they start talking too much.
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:56 AM
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Call it in to who? (meaning, which agency, police, CPS...?). I didn't know that misuse of car seats was actually a reportable offense. Are you sure that's the law in every state? (I'm just terrified of turning them in and it being unfounded or something).

*sigh* this family sure has taught me a lot.
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
Call it in to who? (meaning, which agency, police, CPS...?). I didn't know that misuse of car seats was actually a reportable offense. Are you sure that's the law in every state? (I'm just terrified of turning them in and it being unfounded or something).

*sigh* this family sure has taught me a lot.
Child protection in your state. Child abuse hotline
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  #6  
Old 03-22-2011, 05:00 AM
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Holy Cow!!

I'm not a carseat notZ (sp?) BUT i DO speak up when a carseat is not correct or not used. its for a childs safety!

why are you terming exactly?? just careless parenting and your tired of it? i can see that. i cant stand irresponsible parenting and want nothing to do with it.

wish you luck! but as another PP said, be prepared for retailation.
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
hmm. i must've missed something. i'm sure you're not terming bc they have a forward facing carseat even though it's stupid.
Thanks QualiT. No, this is just the last straw in a long, long line of things stretching back to their first week six weeks ago. I should have listened to my instincts back then and let them go after the two week trial, but I wanted another client lined up.

This is the last straw because I can't let myself be a party to something that so blatantly endangers their child's life. They were using the infant seat wrong, too, and I brought it up to them, complete with printed off information on proper car seat usage and how to strap her correctly, but they blew me off (as in, treated me like I knew less than the 9 year old across the street about how to use a car seat). This is the family that brings age-inappropriate food for their infant, that calls every day and acts like they think I might be lying when I say she's had a good day, that in the very first week of care ignored vacation policies and sick policies that they had JUST read and signed, and a few other things that I've posted about in the past six weeks. They're just not a good fit with my views and my policies. I saw it early on, and I ignored it, which is my fault.
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:16 AM
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I wouldn't even offer my "call with any questions" line - I'm sure if they're that pissed off they know your number to let you have it. lol I don't like to say "effective x date" because it's not always clear whether their 2 weeks begins on that date or ends on that date. I would say "Your child's last day of care will be x date." No confusion there (believe me, some folks are morons). You may also want to mention whatever you have in your agreement as far as payment goes..like "Suzy's deposit in the amount of $x will pay for care through her last day as stated in PHB."

Good luck!
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:17 AM
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btw I just noticed that the AAP has officially started recommending rear facing until age 2 (just saw article on it yesterday). Oy.
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:27 AM
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actually i said care will NO LONGER be effective as of X date. i always sign letters, emails, etc. with my phone number but that's just me. technically, she could leave out the word "please" as well, but again it's just what i would write. i would save the "balance due" letter for a later date/different piece of paper. i think saying "you have to find new daycare AND you owe me 400 dollars" is too much to throw out at once. it makes a nice, simple term letter seem nasty IMO.
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:44 AM
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Also, can I ask if I was in the wrong not having a winter coat and hat on a 9 month old when it was 70 degrees out, and everyone was comfortable in short sleeves and no coats? She did have long sleeves. I'm just curious...
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:51 AM
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70 degrees and a winter coat?!? No, you're not in the wrong. Was it a windy day? If so, then I could see maybe putting on a spring jacket! It has been 50 degrees here and I put the winter coats away! I can't even imagine having any sort of winter attire on with what is, IMHO, summer weather!
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:00 AM
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well, it depends. it has been really warm here lately, but yesterday the wind was blowing hard and made it cold. if she has a history of ear infections or something i could see them wanting her ears protected from the wind. if they want a coat and hat, i'd just do it - unless and until the child started sweating or something then i would take it off and tell them why.

anyhow, looks like you're about to be finished with the whole situation so don't worry over it.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:05 AM
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I ask the parents to leave winter coats here until mid-April and we use them regularly. But we spend alot of time outdoors and it's chilly in the wind. That being said we've had alot of days the past 2 weeks with the kids in snowpants, rubber boots and no coats because its been nice out. The need the snowpants to absorb some of the mud the get covered in this time of year. lol.

70 degrees...I wouldn't think even a baby needed a winter coat as long as she had something heavier on to break any wind. I might have stuck a hat on her though with a hoodie just so I knew she was toasty warm.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:10 AM
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I try to follow the rule of thumb that if the child arrived in it (coat, hat, whatever) then they wear it when we go outside. If a child is old enough they will say to their parent "Do I have to wear this outside?" and then parent will usually say it is okay to let the child decide but if they are younger then they wear whatever they came in.

Sometimes where I live it is winter-like in the mornings and summer-like at pick up so I hate being the one to decide for the kids since every parent is so different. I let the parents know that as well, and if they have any thoughts on it, they say so then.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:20 AM
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The other day it was 70 and all of the kids had long sleeves (windy) but no coats or hats. My DCPs trust my judgement on that sort of thing. I'm not sure you were asking whether to include that in the letter - I wouldn't.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ninosqueridos View Post
The other day it was 70 and all of the kids had long sleeves (windy) but no coats or hats. My DCPs trust my judgement on that sort of thing. I'm not sure you were asking whether to include that in the letter - I wouldn't.
no, not asking that--just for my own information.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I try to follow the rule of thumb that if the child arrived in it (coat, hat, whatever) then they wear it when we go outside. If a child is old enough they will say to their parent "Do I have to wear this outside?" and then parent will usually say it is okay to let the child decide but if they are younger then they wear whatever they came in.

Sometimes where I live it is winter-like in the mornings and summer-like at pick up so I hate being the one to decide for the kids since every parent is so different. I let the parents know that as well, and if they have any thoughts on it, they say so then.
If I followed that rule I'd have some kids dressed for the arctic in the summer and some for the Bahamas in the middle of the winter.

We have days like that too. I can be below freezing at 8am and tshirt weather by noon. I just ask the parents provide a variety of clothing and dress them how I see fit. Even then I've had many a walk that we've turned back for hoodies or I've ended up with 4 billion jackets in the stroller instead of a child.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
Call it in to who? (meaning, which agency, police, CPS...?). I didn't know that misuse of car seats was actually a reportable offense. Are you sure that's the law in every state? (I'm just terrified of turning them in and it being unfounded or something).

*sigh* this family sure has taught me a lot.
It is not a reportable offense in my state. I have been instructed that the best I can so is call the police department and tell them that a family has just left my childcare with a child not restrained correctly in their carseat. It is then up to the police department if they want to follow through or not.
I live in an area where car seat and seat belt use are not of high importance to a majority of people. It is sad and scary. I currently have one mom who daily tosses the car seat in the passenger side of her car and takes off, I have spoken to her, I have called the police department and I organized our local car seat safety organization to host a car seat clinic, some people just don't care and no amount of "talking to" will do any good, you just have to hope that a higher power is watching out for the littles whose parents don't.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:55 AM
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In SOME states it is NOT ILLEGAL to put a child forward facing before age 1 so you might wanna check the carseat laws in your state. Not to sound rude but a parent can do what they want with there child weather we agree or not and you as a provider need to report anything such as abuse, neglect, and child endangerment but I dont think putting a child forward facing would warrant a call to CPS unless it is ILLEGAL in your state.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:56 AM
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I'm terrible at letters. I ususally wait until the Fri. before the 2 weeks notice will start and tell them at pick up that I no longer will be able to provide care and give the date. I also let them leave without paying before the two weeks is up, because by the time I terminate I"m tired of whatever is going on to keep it up for another couple of weeks. I know I'm bad.
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Old 03-22-2011, 07:41 AM
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About the winter coat issue:

They sound like the product of today's public school system: entitled, complaining, sue-happy. They are looking for any reason to complain, and you need to know that if it isn't a winter coat, it's a high chair thing, or a naptime thing, or a toy from home thing, or whatever. They need to get over themselves, but not on your time. Good on you for terming. I also agree about watch out for a little 'visit' from your local authority.
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnythingsPossible View Post
It is not a reportable offense in my state. I have been instructed that the best I can so is call the police department and tell them that a family has just left my childcare with a child not restrained correctly in their carseat. It is then up to the police department if they want to follow through or not.
I live in an area where car seat and seat belt use are not of high importance to a majority of people. It is sad and scary. I currently have one mom who daily tosses the car seat in the passenger side of her car and takes off, I have spoken to her, I have called the police department and I organized our local car seat safety organization to host a car seat clinic, some people just don't care and no amount of "talking to" will do any good, you just have to hope that a higher power is watching out for the littles whose parents don't.
It odd how things are different from state to state. One day I saw two men with a BRAND NEW baby, no car seat in sight, in the liquor store parking lot.
There was a squad car at the DQ. I went right in, apologized for interrupting their lunch and told them what was up. They were out of their seats before I finshed my sentence!
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:40 AM
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Dear Silly Parents,

I have really enjoyed getting to know your child XYZ. and really want thank you for intrusting in me to care for your child in your absence. Unfortunately, I have had to make some necessary changes for the daycare and I will no longer be able to meet your child and families needs. Please understand that this was a very difficult decision for me to make and XYZCHild will be greatly missed by everyone here.
Please accept this letter as two weeks written notice of termination of care. Should you need any assistance in finding a new provider, here is the number for our R&R: MMM-MMMM. Again, thank you so much for all of your cooperation and understanding with this matter.

I also would attach my withdraw form to it, inwhich the parents are to sign and date as well as the provider. It also states what $ will be expected from them, as well as the last date you will be offering care. I can email it to you if you would like..

I am not sure this is helpful or not...just let me know

sorry you are having to go through this...no one likes having to deal with this stuff
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Old 03-22-2011, 11:35 AM
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As far as the winter coat goes, I don't think you were wrong. Where I live 70 degrees is summer!

Anyway, I totally see what Blackcat is saying about putting them in what they come in and I totally get that and have done that. However, just now, it's about 40-50 degrees here but we still have snow on the ground. I had kids coming in windbreakers, vests, sandals, etc. I asked parents to keep all of their winter coats, hats, mittens, boots, and snowpants here because we still need them outside. If we are going for a walk and it's 50 degrees and sunny, I will let them wear the fleece jacket, but if we are going in the backyard in the snow, they still need the snowpants. It also can be cold in the morning and quite warm by afternoon. I figure that I have them stocked up for the worst case scenario, and I will dress them appropriately from there. I would not have put a winter coat and hat on if it was 70 degrees, personally.

And, by the way, not that it matters but I went to the grocery store last night and was in the baby food aisle. I just had to take a glance at those meat sticks, just out of curiousity. They are clearly labeled "toddler" and "age appropriate for toddlers." They have the toddler picture on the side, too. Just thought I'd let you know.
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:39 PM
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Lots more termination letter threads here: http://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.ph...ination+letter
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