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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How To Respond To Parent Who's Child Has Had Croup And Was Send Home Today W/Fever!!
Christian Mother 11:42 AM 03-25-2011
Ok, you guys....I have a DCB who is always sick. He was not in my care Mond. and Tues. bc he was diagnosed with Croup...he was back in my care Wend. very ill and pretty much layed on the couch after nap he had a temp. and when I tried calling them no one would return my car or message. Pick up was at normal time. I talked to DCD who picked up that if he runs a temp. he needs to be picked up I have other kids in my care that I worry about getting croup. Thrus. was better but no temp.. Fri. better but ran a temp. of 100.5 coughing quite a bit, and noise running like a faucet..although clear. I worried on whether I shld call for pick up but made the call anyway. Now, I have a email no call from DCM upset that I had him picked up from his care...here's her message to me.. In the beginning of care...about 1 1/2 ago he was my only daycare child but 10 months ago I started caring for 3 other children. So then I could take care of him if he was sick but now w/other kids I have to make sure all are equally taken care of. What are your thoughts??

Hey,

I am honestly disappointed and upset that William got sent home. This used to not be a problem in the past. Really at this point he should not be contagious and I actually called Dr. Wether and he thinks that now William has an infection (ie not contagious). I can understand if he is running a really high temp or if he was extremely cranky but I do not think either is the case. David and I rely on you to babysit him and with all that has been going on recently we do not have many sick days. I need to know if this is going to be an on going issue.

It would be one thing if your rule from the beginning was no children with temps, however, William has been over there before with a temp. I thought the rule is if he was contagious.

Please let me know.

Erin
Reply
Gurdy 11:52 AM 03-25-2011
Do you have an illness policy that she signed and what does it say?
It sounds like this is a case of "you bent your rules before, now I want you to continue to break your rules"
I would go over your illness policy with her and explain that it's for her sons protection as well as the protection of the other children in your care.

If you do not have an illness policy, get one soon, and have her sign it.
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daycare 11:52 AM 03-25-2011
sounds like its time to change your illness policy. I would explain again to her in detail that you cant provide care from him when he is sick for the reasons you listed. Not only that when a child is ill, they really need to be in the comfort of their own home with mom or dad. Poor guy


Clearly I sympathize with parents whose children are sick and need to stay home from daycare. I understand that parents are often busy and inconvenienced by their child’s illness. At the same time, please remember that when your child is sent to daycare sick, they put all children, their siblings, the provider, and all other family members at risk. Please have respect for all families here in the daycare. Golden rule, you know your child best, if they are starting to come down with something keep them home. Also, please don’t forget that if I should become too ill to operate the daycare, the daycare will be closed until I am healthy enough to reopen. Having to close the daycare puts every family in a bad situation in many ways. Remember that the decision about whether or not a child should not go to school should be made by the parent, NOT THE CHILD. I love that your children want to be at school but they need to be well in order to be here.
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nannyde 11:57 AM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by Christian Mother:
Ok, you guys....I have a DCB who is always sick. He was not in my care Mond. and Tues. bc he was diagnosed with Croup...he was back in my care Wend. very ill and pretty much layed on the couch after nap he had a temp. and when I tried calling them no one would return my car or message. Pick up was at normal time. I talked to DCD who picked up that if he runs a temp. he needs to be picked up I have other kids in my care that I worry about getting croup. Thrus. was better but no temp.. Fri. better but ran a temp. of 100.5 coughing quite a bit, and noise running like a faucet..although clear. I worried on whether I shld call for pick up but made the call anyway. Now, I have a email no call from DCM upset that I had him picked up from his care...here's her message to me.. In the beginning of care...about 1 1/2 ago he was my only daycare child but 10 months ago I started caring for 3 other children. So then I could take care of him if he was sick but now w/other kids I have to make sure all are equally taken care of. What are your thoughts??

Hey,

I am honestly disappointed and upset that William got sent home. This used to not be a problem in the past. Really at this point he should not be contagious and I actually called Dr. Wether and he thinks that now William has an infection (ie not contagious). I can understand if he is running a really high temp or if he was extremely cranky but I do not think either is the case. David and I rely on you to babysit him and with all that has been going on recently we do not have many sick days. I need to know if this is going to be an on going issue.

It would be one thing if your rule from the beginning was no children with temps, however, William has been over there before with a temp. I thought the rule is if he was contagious.

Please let me know.

Erin
Dear Erin,

I have not received anything from your physician stating William is not contagious. I'm curious as to what respiratory infection he has that is not contagious. Could you be more specific?

I think I need to speak directly to Williams Dr. If you would please sign a medical release form so that they can freely talk to me and I can freely talk to them then we can get this worked out.

I am not allowed to care for ill children. I don't have the permission from the State or the insurance to cover ill child care. In our State we must have a specific license to care for ill children on our premise.

I have not known that William has been in care with a fever. My guidelines for fever exclusion is a fever greater than 100.0. I have never discussed a "really high temp" with you. Anything over 100.0 is a TEMPERATURE. So that is the guidelines for fever exclusion in my care.

If he has had a fever here greater than this I have not been aware of it. Are you stating that you have brought him to care with a known fever over 100.0? I guess I'm confused as to what you are saying.

Just a reminder but the fever policy is for fever WITHOUT the aide of tylenol or advil. I can't have a child in my care who has received advil or tylenol or any fever reducting medicine. Please make sure that he not had fever reducing meds within 24 hours of attendance.

Signed you

What she is saying to you in this letter is that she wants you to care for him whether he is sick or not. She wants to use the WORD contagious instead of the marker of an actual temperature. If you agree on the WORD contagious then she can say the words "he's not contagious" and then she can bring him sick.
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Christian Mother 11:58 AM 03-25-2011
I don't even have a parent hand book...I was in a position to be able to stay home with my daughter so I wanted to care for 1 child and this little boy was who I took in. The parent is a teacher but works in a diff. town. Diff. for her to be here on time but I've grown to love and care for them and there family. I made allowances bc it was just there child in my care...but now that I have 3 other families it's a situation that needs to be addressed. I thought I had made it clear since I feel like I have good communication with the parents and don't hand out letters that I have to look at the whole of the daycare and not just one child. I don't understand why she feels its ok to allow a sick child who she doesn't feel is sick at all to be here?
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daycare 11:59 AM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Dear Erin,

I have not received anything from your physician stating William is not contagious. I'm curious as to what respiratory infection he has that is not contagious. Could you be more specific?

I think I need to speak directly to Williams Dr. If you would please sign a medical release form so that they can freely talk to me and I can freely talk to them then we can get this worked out.

I am not allowed to care for ill children. I don't have the permission from the State or the insurance to cover ill child care. In our State we must have a specific license to care for ill children on our premise.

I have not known that William has been in care with a fever. My guidelines for fever exclusion is a fever greater than 100.0. I have never discussed a "really high temp" with you. Anything over 100.0 is a TEMPERATURE. So that is the guidelines for fever exclusion in my care.

If he has had a fever here greater than this I have not been aware of it. Are you stating that you have brought him to care with a known fever over 100.0? I guess I'm confused as to what you are saying.

Just a reminder but the fever policy is for fever WITHOUT the aide of tylenol or advil. I can't have a child in my care who has received advil or tylenol or any fever reducting medicine. Please make sure that he not had fever reducing meds within 24 hours of attendance.

Signed you

What she is saying to you in this letter is that she wants you to care for him whether he is sick or not. She wants to use the WORD contagious instead of the marker of an actual temperature. If you agree on the WORD contagious then she can say the words "he's not contagious" and then she can bring him sick.
another good one for my nannyde folder...

thanks for posting!
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JenNJ 12:09 PM 03-25-2011
Erin, I'm not sure if this is going to be an ongoing issue. Please ask William's immune system.

Thanks!

CM

Totally kidding but I would call around to centers and ask their sick policy and draw up a similar one ASAP.
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jen 12:11 PM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by Christian Mother:
Ok, you guys....I have a DCB who is always sick. He was not in my care Mond. and Tues. bc he was diagnosed with Croup...he was back in my care Wend. very ill and pretty much layed on the couch after nap he had a temp. and when I tried calling them no one would return my car or message. Pick up was at normal time. I talked to DCD who picked up that if he runs a temp. he needs to be picked up I have other kids in my care that I worry about getting croup. Thrus. was better but no temp.. Fri. better but ran a temp. of 100.5 coughing quite a bit, and noise running like a faucet..although clear. I worried on whether I shld call for pick up but made the call anyway. Now, I have a email no call from DCM upset that I had him picked up from his care...here's her message to me.. In the beginning of care...about 1 1/2 ago he was my only daycare child but 10 months ago I started caring for 3 other children. So then I could take care of him if he was sick but now w/other kids I have to make sure all are equally taken care of. What are your thoughts??

Hey,

I am honestly disappointed and upset that William got sent home. This used to not be a problem in the past. Really at this point he should not be contagious and I actually called Dr. Wether and he thinks that now William has an infection (ie not contagious). I can understand if he is running a really high temp or if he was extremely cranky but I do not think either is the case. David and I rely on you to babysit him and with all that has been going on recently we do not have many sick days. I need to know if this is going to be an on going issue.

It would be one thing if your rule from the beginning was no children with temps, however, William has been over there before with a temp. I thought the rule is if he was contagious.

Please let me know.

Erin
Dear Erin,

Oh my goodness...I certainly hope this isn't going to be an ongoing issue. Hopefully, I have made it quite clear that you will, of course, need to care for your child if he is ill.

I'm sure you will find that all daycare homes, per State licensing regulations, exclude children with specific symptoms. I have attached for your review the exclusionarly policies authored by the State.

Just kidding...

Dear Erin,

I'm sorry that you have been inconvenienced by your sons recent illnesses. I know how difficult it can be to leave work. However, as I'm sure you understand, I must look out for the best interests of the group.

There is really no way for me to determine whether or not a child is contagious. Therefore, I must rely on determining whether a child is well enough for care by establishing specific standards. A fever of of 100.5 or more will exclude him from care, as is required by the standards set forth in the daycare licensing rule that all licensed daycare must abide by. In addition, children must be fever free for 24 hours without medication in order to return to care. I have attached a copy of our illness policy for future reference.

Again, I do understand your frustration, but keeping a healthy daycare will mimimize the amount of work missed for all our daycare families. If you have any questions, please feel free to let me know.
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nannyde 12:12 PM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by Christian Mother:
I don't even have a parent hand book...I was in a position to be able to stay home with my daughter so I wanted to care for 1 child and this little boy was who I took in. The parent is a teacher but works in a diff. town. Diff. for her to be here on time but I've grown to love and care for them and there family. I made allowances bc it was just there child in my care...but now that I have 3 other families it's a situation that needs to be addressed. I thought I had made it clear since I feel like I have good communication with the parents and don't hand out letters that I have to look at the whole of the daycare and not just one child. I don't understand why she feels its ok to allow a sick child who she doesn't feel is sick at all to be here?
Friend,

This isn't complicated.

She's telling you that she wants to decide when he's well enough to come to day care. She decided that today and the other day when she refused to come get him by not acknowledging your call.

She just wants you to TELL her you WILL care for him when she wants you to. It's not about the other families. She's bringing them up in the letter because she had the ease of having him cared for sick when you didn't have them. That's the only reason they matter to her... they are just a time stamp for when things changed.

You just have to decide if you will or won't. If you won't under X circumstances to protect the other kids then you need to tell her now. It sounds like she wants more of a Nanny deal but wants to pay for home care. She just needs the life experience of having someone say they won't do it for group care rates.
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Gurdy 12:18 PM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
Erin, I'm not sure if this is going to be an ongoing issue. Please ask William's immune system.

Thanks!

CM

Totally kidding but I would call around to centers and ask their sick policy and draw up a similar one ASAP.
This totally cracked me up!
How about:
Erin,
Yes! This is going to be an on going issue if you continue to bring your sick kid to dc and infect all of the other children and I allow them to come sick as well! Let's see how many viruses and infections we can pass around!
JK-
I think that you just need to explain to her exactly what you told us. Her son is no longer the only child in care and you have to look out for ALL of the kids in your care.
Your states health dept should have a guideline on their website that you could print out that would list reasons for exclusion from daycare and you can give her a copy of that.
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Crystal 12:21 PM 03-25-2011
This is a toughy....because you have previously allowed it, the parent expects it to be allowed now.

I would say:

Dear Erin,

I understand that it has been difficult to take time off of work to care for your sick child. I apologize for the inconvenience.

I realize that due to our previous arrangement, you are having an issue with the new standard of your child being excluded from care when he is ill. However now that there are additional children in care, I must consider the health and safety of all of the children and effective immediately will be enforcing a sick child policy.

I have attached a copy of our sick child policy. PLease review it and contact me immediately with any questions you may have. I will also be providing all families with a parent/provider agreement and parent policy handbook next week. At that time, we will review the policies that have been set and sign the parent/provider agreement.

Should you feel that these policies do not meet the needs of your family, I will understand if you need to find alternate care for your son so that you are able to attend to work rather than to him when he is ill.

Thank you,

CM

(I probably wouldn't put the last snarky remark in there, unless I was in a mood )
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Christian Mother 12:22 PM 03-25-2011
Ohhh No!! I am writing her back right now just trying to maintain my calm and professionalism. I don't want to come off rude to her but I do need to stress that there is def. going to be some changes. But, I think she is just going to get mad and pull him. Nothing I can do about it but I am not willing to put the others at risk. I think the thing is that this particular child is always sick and all the parents always ask or offer to give her advise through me and she either doesn't take it or is frustrated. I'd be upset to if my child was sick as often as he is but there family has a history of horrible allergies and asthma. He's always coughing and sneezing and just never seems to be getting better. The past 3 months have been bad for them and I feel like I've done what I can to help as far as watching there son..but when he is running a temp. thats where I draw the line.
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nannyde 12:33 PM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
This is a toughy....because you have previously allowed it, the parent expects it to be allowed now.

I would say:

Dear Erin,

I understand that it has been difficult to take time off of work to care for your sick child. I apologize for the inconvenience.

I realize that due to our previous arrangement, you are having an issue with the new standard of your child being excluded from care when he is ill. However now that there are additional children in care, I must consider the health and safety of all of the children and effective immediately will be enforcing a sick child policy.

I have attached a copy of our sick child policy. PLease review it and contact me immediately with any questions you may have. I will also be providing all families with a parent/provider agreement and parent policy handbook next week. At that time, we will review the policies that have been set and sign the parent/provider agreement.

Should you feel that these policies do not meet the needs of your family, I will understand if you need to find alternate care for your son so that you are able to attend to work rather than to him when he is ill.

Thank you,

CM

(I probably wouldn't put the last snarky remark in there, unless I was in a mood )
Yes this except I wouldn't do this line: "I apologize for the inconvenience."
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JenNJ 12:41 PM 03-25-2011
She won't pull him bc she can't get away with that behavior anywhere else. She will not be able to find a good, clean place tat cares for sick kids.
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Christian Mother 12:53 PM 03-25-2011
Ok, I am wimpy...here is my response...

Of course your upset...you've had a really bad 3-4 months and if it makes you feel better to lash out on me I am ok with that. I have always been here for you guys,...for whatever needs you have. I really do try to think of everyone needs and put mine and my families last. But, this week has been rough on everyone including William. William is just slowly getting better and although I love having him here I do have to draw the line when there is a temp. of anything over 100.0 which is a my guidelines for fever exclusion in my care.

I have a call into Dr. Werther as well although I am not sure he can discuss William with out your consent so I will just ask for his advise although if you want to write a medical release that I can have so that if anything happens or he is ill here I can call you and also talk with him directly on whether he can be in my care. But, it is really my call and not a doctors on whether I feel he should be here. It is my butt on the line if one of the children gets extremely sick bc I allowed a child to be here knowingly sick. I just can't do that Erin, I have to be able to make sure all my parents feel safe bring there kids here and if I allow William to be here while he has a temp. it isn't safe.

Put your self in there shoes. If I allowed children running temps. to be here all the time how would that make you feel? Your little guys is important to me but so are the others. William is pron to get sick faster then all the rest and I try EXTREMELY hard to make sure he doesn't get sick...but it happens. I don't allow kids here if they are running a temp. not anyone...not even William. It goes for everyone in my care. So, to your questions is this going to continue to happen. Yes, bc I have a responsibility to these children and parents to provide healthy and safe care and I would not be upholding that by allowing children in my home that are sick/running a temp. So, here's the thing. If William is running a temp. of 100 or greater he will need to be picked up from my care. That goes for anyone in my care.

I can make a letter and print it up for everyone to sign so we are all in agreement or I can just take a verbal on here you understand and are ok with that. If not then I would understand if you want to find a diff. daycare for William.
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Crystal 12:56 PM 03-25-2011
I just pm'd you my sick policy if you'd like to use it.
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nannyde 12:59 PM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
She won't pull him bc she can't get away with that behavior anywhere else. She will not be able to find a good, clean place tat cares for sick kids.
I don't know. Maybe not because school only has a couple more months.

There are parents looking SPECIFICALLY for a new provider... sahm with their kid... and them be the only family. They like the idea of being the only one. They like the fact the provider is new, cheap, and doesn't have rules. They want the deal where they are the only income source because with that comes the flexibility to do pretty much whatever they want.

As far as having a provider who does what they are told and gives your kid a ton of attention... there's rarely a better deal than a freshly starting out SAHM with one kid to care for of her own.

Very high in demand provider...

So...... once that provider makes ONE kid income then they realize... "hey... I'm already doing this anyway... might as well take another. Then when they are settled with that they want another. Pretty soon you have a babysitter who has a GROUP of kids and your special gig is up.

Best move is to find another newbie.

It's the hottest ticket in the babysitter biz.

Believe it. You just got to get into the window of newbieness.
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nannyde 01:03 PM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by Christian Mother:
Ok, I am wimpy...here is my response...

Of course your upset...you've had a really bad 3-4 months and if it makes you feel better to lash out on me I am ok with that. I have always been here for you guys,...for whatever needs you have. I really do try to think of everyone needs and put mine and my families last. But, this week has been rough on everyone including William. William is just slowly getting better and although I love having him here I do have to draw the line when there is a temp. of anything over 100.0 which is a my guidelines for fever exclusion in my care. I have a call into Dr. Werther as well although I am not sure he can discuss William with out your consent so I will just ask for his advise although if you want to write a medical release that I can have so that if anything happens or he is ill here I can call you and also talk with him directly on whether he can be in my care. But, it is really my call and not a doctors on whether I feel he should be here. It is my butt on the line if one of the children gets extremely sick bc I allowed a child to be here knowingly sick. I just can't do that Erin, I have to be able to make sure all my parents feel safe bring there kids here and if I allow William to be here while he has a temp. it isn't safe. Put your self in there shoes. If I allowed children running temps. to be here all the time how would that make you feel? Your little guys is important to me but so are the others. William is pron to get sick faster then all the rest and I try EXTREMELY hard to make sure he doesn't get sick...but it happens. I don't allow kids here if they are running a temp. not anyone...not even William. It goes for everyone in my care. So, to your questions is this going to continue to happen. Yes, bc I have a responsibility to these children and parents to provide healthy and safe care and I would not be upholding that by allowing children in my home that are sick/running a temp. So, here's the thing. If William is running a temp. of 100 or greater he will need to be picked up from my care. That goes for anyone in my care. I can make a letter and print it up for everyone to sign so we are all in agreement or I can just take a verbal on here you understand and are ok with that. If not then I would understand if you want to find a diff. daycare for William.
Not wimpy

It's too wordy but you know your communication style with them.

Insist on the med release if he stays.
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Christian Mother 01:27 PM 03-25-2011
I will def. be doing that as well as a release to give him his breathing mach. or any med. they want me to get. I am still new at this and should of made my polices right away. I will be doing that this weekend. She will be the one who is prob. going to be the most up set. Anyone have a form on hand for either of these I can print up?
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JenNJ 02:26 PM 03-25-2011
True Nan.

But honestly, I would consider letting them go just for taking that tone with me in an email. The email Erin wrote to CM is really disrespectful and condescending.
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nannyde 03:05 PM 03-25-2011
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
True Nan.

But honestly, I would consider letting them go just for taking that tone with me in an email. The email Erin wrote to CM is really disrespectful and condescending.
Oh I would too. Homey don't play that... but... OP has her own style and is in the front end of the learning curve on how to manage multiple parents from different families. The only way to really GET that you have to have rules in place is to pay the price for not having them. We can advise all day long but SHE has to go thru the consequences of her decisions in order to really GET how important it is to be firm.

The parent may be specifically looking for someone who does as they are told. Once the provider starts saying NO to that then the parent may just leave to find someone else who is new and will allow the parent to do as she pleases. There is a lot of value to that to some parents.... even if it means the child has mulitple caregivers in a short amount of time.

It almost ALWAYS comes down to money. Now and then it's the conflict the provider is trying to avoid but most of the time the money loss from the conflict is the number one reason the provider just does as the parent wants. Until the money part of this equation is reconciled the provider just seeks a way to get the parent to just agree to what they want them to do or be. It's incredibly difficult to get the parent to agree with just words especially when you are in the midst of giving them a no.
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Christian Mother 04:18 PM 03-25-2011
True True...for me my husband supports us and I can't have anymore children so the though of another baby in the home sounded great not to mention I was getting paid to watch him. This family is super awesome and this has been the first time in almost 2 yr I've had words with her. But, in the interview I told her I was stricked...stricked with my rules and and the way I run my daycare. But, since being on here...I am totally not running it right. I just need to establish a back bone which i have started doing and I am really pleased with my results. I have had to put stick rules in the past couple months on a number of things bc I haven't put things in writing. So I am totally going to nip that in the budd. I have no problem telling my parents what I can and will not do. And since this is my home..it's my rules. I no longer am a Nanny so.... I try to be fair and look at all the facts...to be the bigger person also in this situation...she is younger than I. And I feel that I need to set the standards for childcare. I am sure she is looking into other care bc there are quite a bit out there that can cater to her. But I feel that want happens happens. I wouldn't be losing much money she is a teacher and has the breaks and what not off although I still manage to have him for part of the breaks?!! He's been sick for quite some time now and I was tired of having him with a fever...if it was a 100 I wouldn't have called but since it kept creeping up 100.5...I did. Also, she does speech therapy for my daughter once a wk so I am making $85 a wk. This week $15 since she pays me in advance for care. I owe her for today. He's only been in care Wend. and Thrus. I still plan on dropping of a bday gift to her son at his bday party on sund. and also giving her $25 back but I won't apologize for having him picked up. I did speak to our doc. since we have the same one. He said that kids shouldn't be excluded from care bc of there cough. I told him he was asked to be picked up bc he was running a temp of 100.5 which was gradually going up. That I had to exclude him from play again bc he was coughing so hard it was making him gag. It had to find a way to get him relaxed and I had to make that call bc I have other kids in my care that need me as well. He said that he normally tells parents in daycare that 101 or higher sound result in a call home nothing lower then that but it should be my call as I have other children. And if he is not able to play as he normally could then that would be my call. He said he could fax something to me so that if he needs to send over a release to return to care he could do that but I said I need to get her to respond to me first as she hasn't returned my last email. She may not want to even deal with it at this point. But, I am not going to loss sleep over it.
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nannyde 05:49 PM 03-25-2011
How old is this child?
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Christian Mother 08:32 PM 03-25-2011
He will be 2 on Sunday.
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Tags:contagious, croup, fever, sick, sick - always
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