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Old 07-12-2011, 05:34 AM
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dEHmom dEHmom is offline
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Default Awful Noise From a 1 1/2 yr Old

Ok, I'm not trying to complain here, I'm honestly just looking for some advice.

1.5 yo dcb, same one that used to throw major tantrums and smash his head.

He never does the tantrums anymore, but in the morning since he came back from a week of holidays, he does this horrible noise! He freaks when mom or dad drops him off, but as soon as they are out of sight he is fine!

Then, he just makes this same noise it's not even a cry, it's like talking back almost, but he's yelling, and usually tries to do something bad (he is one of those angry babies nan talks about). When I look at him, doesn't matter if it's for 10 seconds or for 10 minutes, he just stares back with a mad face. I redirect him, distract him, we can play for however long, but as soon as I stop looking at him, he reverts back to the bad behavior, awful noise/cry and will throw, push, hit, kick, or whatever else he can do at the moment.

I have been trying to figure out the issue. Lots of times the start of this behavior is when he wants in the kitchen. But I have the kitchen blocked off except for eating, or when we are all in the kitchen. He tries to climb the gate and screams and yells like this. But he does this for many other reasons too.

Any advice? Like I said I can distract him, or redirect him but as soon as I am giving attention somewhere it starts all over. He is a bit of a spoiled baby at home, being an only child, and mom and dad work during the day so they give him extra attention in the evenings. If he has something and I go near him to take it away, he yells and runs away, and throw whatever it is. I know he does this at home as well.
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Old 07-12-2011, 06:03 AM
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Originally Posted by dEHmom View Post
Ok, I'm not trying to complain here, I'm honestly just looking for some advice.

1.5 yo dcb, same one that used to throw major tantrums and smash his head.

did he stop the tantrums and smashing his head on his own like he out grew it or did or and/or parents have to teach him to stop them?

Last edited by Michael; 07-12-2011 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 07-12-2011, 06:20 AM
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[quote=joynerportia@yahoo;126490]
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Originally Posted by dEHmom View Post
Ok, I'm not trying to complain here, I'm honestly just looking for some advice.

1.5 yo dcb, same one that used to throw major tantrums and smash his head.


did he stop the tantrums and smashing his head on his own like he out grew it or did or and/or parents have to teach him to stop them?
because of the head smashing here, just ignoring the tantrum wasn't working, and so I had to use the playpen as a safe spot for him. He figured it out quickly. He has minor tantrums still, but realizes it won't get him anywhere with me. But as soon as dad and mom comes around, he starts them.

so I taught him to stop those here I guess.
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Old 07-12-2011, 06:22 AM
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My kids aren't allowed to get "froggy".

They know the rules and they know the consequences if they go getting amped up.

I don't allow screaming or loud noises. I have children 12 months and younger that require morning naps, we also do activities during the morning time, etc.

The decibel range is definitely a little higher after nap and after they wake up but that's to be expected. They know what time it is and they will soon go home.

Are their consequences for behavior or not following your rules?

It sounds to me like he needs to have his "goodbyes" with his parents before you open the door that way it's a hand off of the child and a "bye, see you this afternoon." Would that help with the noise you are talking about?

How about rather than looking in his angry eyes for 10 minutes, you redirect him and if he can't pull himself together after 60 seconds, he can go have a seat somewhere. Looking an angry child in the eye is looking a bull in the eyes. Who's going to win and is it really worth the fight...KWIM?!

As for the screaming at the gate...is there anyway to get a half-door made to block off the room? Maybe if he can't see in there, it wouldn't be an issue. How about keeping him away from the gate? Would that help?

Keep this in mind...the best way to redirect a child's attention is to physically take them to the farthest point of the room without saying a word. They will physically need to turn themselves around and it usually takes a few minutes for them to realize what happened, what they were doing, and how they got there. 90% of the time, they forget and go about something else. Works like a charm here!
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Old 07-12-2011, 06:33 AM
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My kids aren't allowed to get "froggy".

They know the rules and they know the consequences if they go getting amped up.

I don't allow screaming or loud noises. I have children 12 months and younger that require morning naps, we also do activities during the morning time, etc.

The decibel range is definitely a little higher after nap and after they wake up but that's to be expected. They know what time it is and they will soon go home.

Are their consequences for behavior or not following your rules?

It sounds to me like he needs to have his "goodbyes" with his parents before you open the door that way it's a hand off of the child and a "bye, see you this afternoon." Would that help with the noise you are talking about?

How about rather than looking in his angry eyes for 10 minutes, you redirect him and if he can't pull himself together after 60 seconds, he can go have a seat somewhere. Looking an angry child in the eye is looking a bull in the eyes. Who's going to win and is it really worth the fight...KWIM?!

As for the screaming at the gate...is there anyway to get a half-door made to block off the room? Maybe if he can't see in there, it wouldn't be an issue. How about keeping him away from the gate? Would that help?

Keep this in mind...the best way to redirect a child's attention is to physically take them to the farthest point of the room without saying a word. They will physically need to turn themselves around and it usually takes a few minutes for them to realize what happened, what they were doing, and how they got there. 90% of the time, they forget and go about something else. Works like a charm here!
haha yeah, i don't stare at him for 10 minutes, but I meant if I did he wouldn't care. He breaks the eye contact, does other things sometimes, but will keep checking to see if i'm looking.

I can't do the half door as an option but he knows why he wants IN the kitchen. Because that's where the broom and mop and everything is at. He also loves crawling into the dog's crate. So for him the FUN stuff is in the kitchen. He is at that stage, even my other dcb, where everything that is not a toy, is what they WANT to play with.

I always redirect, but sometimes I'm busy changing a diaper or something and cannot just get up right away and deal with him. And it's usually these times where I am distracted with another task that cannot be stopped immediately that these things happen.
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Old 07-12-2011, 07:28 AM
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I have one the same age that does the same thing. Its an awful noise, and when he does it while his mom is here, she picks him up and treats him as if he were hurt or something. Seh holds him and says its ok mommy is here....
I told him in very simple terms an 18 month old can understand, " that noise is not allowed. Stop.' And now every time he starts it up again, I treat it like I did his tantrums, Put him in the port a crib for some quiet time. And he stays there until he can be quiet for a minute. Of course he shakes the crib and tries to tear the netting on it, I havent figured that one out yet except to pull the crib far enough away from anything he might try to reach, and then ignore him until he wears himself out...
Anyway, If it worked for his tantrums, it should work for this behavior too. Just make sure he knows what the behavior is that you are correcting, and it should work.
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Old 07-12-2011, 07:31 AM
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So if he thinks the "tools" in the kitchen are more fun than the toys in the playroom why not give him some buy a broom for him to play with if he wants to climb in the dog crate try giving him a big card board box to play in.
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Old 07-12-2011, 08:21 AM
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I just don't feel like the pnp is the best option right now. he's not hurting himself or in danger of anything so just confining him doesn't seem like the right idea.

as for the brooms and stuff, he hits people with them, the lights, the fish tank, the tv, everything. And the play brooms (the kids sized ones) etc, he is just not interested in. He wants the big ones only. But the damage he does, and can do with them is far too great a risk. He's smoked me in the face with the broom handle when I was reaching to get it from him one day. I was sweeping and put it down for 1 sec to get the dust pan, and he grabbed it. I said nicely "can you please pass me the broom ______" and he looked at me, made that mad face, and whipped it at my face.
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Old 07-12-2011, 10:02 AM
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sounds like mom lets him roam and destroy at home. hes not used to boundaries.
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Old 07-12-2011, 10:44 AM
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Can you gate off the kitchen area or move the brooms out to the garage. Take away the "fun" and see what happens.

I had to put my broom in another spot because they kids kept wanting it. It was by the side of my refrigerator. Now you can find it in the garage or in the pantry.

Eliminate access. You will probably deal with the noise for a week or so but once he realizes that you mean business and aren't giving it, it will become a thing of the past.
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Old 07-12-2011, 11:12 AM
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Can you gate off the kitchen area or move the brooms out to the garage. Take away the "fun" and see what happens.

I had to put my broom in another spot because they kids kept wanting it. It was by the side of my refrigerator. Now you can find it in the garage or in the pantry.

Eliminate access. You will probably deal with the noise for a week or so but once he realizes that you mean business and aren't giving it, it will become a thing of the past.
the kitchen is gated. That's why he throws the fits. the broom has a home where they cannot see it from the living room. they just know it's in the kitchen. regardless of the broom, there is also dog dishes, bbq utensils (tongs, flippers etc) in a jar at back door, shoes, dog crate, cupboards, tupperwear, etc etc etc etc etc that they want in the kitchen. also, i have to sweep 100 times a day, so putting it outside wouldn't help much. i don't have a garage so no where else for it anyway. Mops, brooms etc normally are hung in basement stairwell, but sometimes are in the kitchen if i'm busy using them.

it's hard to explain the setup of my house, but from the living room /kitchen entryway, you can see a big square kitchen, back door/basement door is in a little back entranceway sort of hidden from living room. almost an L shape.

the biggest issue with this child is it's almost defiant. He does it to mom and dad too. They've asked for help with it as well. Because he does know better, and he does it anyway. And he does it right in front of you too, but usually waits until your attention is distracted elsewhere. It's an attention thing, but it's not that he lacks attention, good or bad. I bet he does have run of his house, but I know his mom tries to ignore the bad behavior like tantrums etc. And she will yell/raise voice at him and tell him "no, that's bad" or whatever. But seconds or minutes later its lovey time again. So she's reinforcing it. But we've had that discussion on another thread already.

I do not ever let him get away with the behaviors. But sometimes I'm a little too late as he's already done and gone by the time I get to him. Like when I'm changing a poopy diaper I cannot just walk away from the baby and let him get poo all over everything, kwim
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