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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Nanny-D....It Works
MissAnn 09:07 AM 10-28-2011
So, I decided to try Nanny D's "using as few words as possible". At first it did not feel right. I almost felt rude by saying just "up" or "stop" or whatever I needed to say.....on the other hand.....I'm not wasting words and I'm using the words that count and it really is more effective. I have a group full of active boys, so any advice is very well appreciated!
Zoe 09:08 AM 10-28-2011
That sounds like something I need to do. I feel like I hear myself too much during the day. 
nannyde 09:21 AM 10-28-2011
(All my stuff works
)
MARSTELAC 09:28 AM 10-28-2011
It does work! I tried it yesterday and today and it is AMAZING!!!! You are the best!!!
Heidi 09:33 AM 10-28-2011
Hey, if it works for dogs, why shouldn't it work for kids? lol...
I said this already, but I'm trying to train my 14mo twins to stay on the bench while we get shoes on...sit... stay...
I'm a talker myself (dont know if you can tell by my long winded answers), so it's probably refreshing for them to NOT hear much from me!
I said this already, but I'm trying to train my 14mo twins to stay on the bench while we get shoes on...sit... stay...
I'm a talker myself (dont know if you can tell by my long winded answers), so it's probably refreshing for them to NOT hear much from me!
MissAnn 10:25 AM 10-28-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
(All my stuff works )
I have one girl who keeps sitting on her knees while eating. I would say...."Suzie Q sit on your bottom because I don't want you to fall and get hurt" then she would sit down and I would say "Thank you".(All my stuff works
)Today? Sit
And....she did
Problemo solved
Kaddidle Care 10:41 AM 10-28-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
Hey, if it works for dogs, why shouldn't it work for kids? lol...
Training kids is a LOT like training dogs. Hey, if it works for dogs, why shouldn't it work for kids? lol...
Solandia 10:44 AM 10-28-2011
Short, sweet, and firm. There is no arguing, no hassling, and NO explaining until the command/request is completed(for the older ones). LOVE it.
I do this to my MIL (she thinks it is hilarious, it isn't to mock her). She will start complaining/scolding the kids, FIL or dh, and I will just say "sorry, MIL, it was more than 10 words." Its a catch-phrase/joke now...MIL and my dh both have this tendency to go into these diatribes when they are pissed off. Totally ineffective for kids, adults, everyone.
I do this to my MIL (she thinks it is hilarious, it isn't to mock her). She will start complaining/scolding the kids, FIL or dh, and I will just say "sorry, MIL, it was more than 10 words." Its a catch-phrase/joke now...MIL and my dh both have this tendency to go into these diatribes when they are pissed off. Totally ineffective for kids, adults, everyone.
SunflowerMama 11:00 AM 10-28-2011
Nan what thread did you mention this in? I'd love to use less words
.
.
Unregistered 11:27 AM 10-28-2011
I think that a child deserves some respect- they should no why they need to do something not just a one word commend IMO
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
Solandia 11:41 AM 10-28-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I think that a child deserves some respect- they should no why they need to do something not just a one word commend IMO
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
Because it eventually turns a simple "sit" into and discussion that the child feels he has control over the outcome. Example"" you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt". reply" "no I won't". ARe you going to answer "yes, you will!"?I think that a child deserves some respect- they should no why they need to do something not just a one word commend IMO
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
Congrats! You are now arguing with a 2yo, who needed to obey from the get-go. It does NOT get better as they get older. "Please put the milk away, sweetie". The reply "Or what will happen if I don't?".
Short words are for things that are NOT open for a discussion. I dont need a discussion for something that has no negotiation room. AFTER the request is completed, we can have a 10min chit-chat, but not before. The justification/conversation before the action with result in more discussion by the child just to avoid doing whatever it is. BTDT many, many, many times.
cheerfuldom 11:43 AM 10-28-2011
Interesting thing....my husband is a big fan of Ceasar Milan (the dog whisperer) and has had excellent success training our dog. Our 6 month old puppy is AMAZINGINGLY well behaved. I'm not going to lie....we've found some of his techniques work with our kids.
As for the unregistered post....not even going to go into a long reply but I will say that it is 100% more important to me that my kids (all under 4 years old) learn how to obey an instruction whether they understand the reason or not. My job is to keep them safe, first and foremost. If they are able to understand more of an explanation, cool but several of my kids are under 18 months. They aren't capable of long discussions obviously and I am not going to let them run wild while waiting for them to be able to understand the instruction before they have to follow it.
As for the unregistered post....not even going to go into a long reply but I will say that it is 100% more important to me that my kids (all under 4 years old) learn how to obey an instruction whether they understand the reason or not. My job is to keep them safe, first and foremost. If they are able to understand more of an explanation, cool but several of my kids are under 18 months. They aren't capable of long discussions obviously and I am not going to let them run wild while waiting for them to be able to understand the instruction before they have to follow it.
nannyde 12:04 PM 10-28-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I think that a child deserves some respect- they should no why they need to do something not just a one word commend IMO
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
We aren't talking about the course of general conversations with children. Of course on a normal day when things are going well and everyone is being sweet and the flow is good you say "Come on over here and have a seat Blue Boo". I think that a child deserves some respect- they should no why they need to do something not just a one word commend IMO
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
It's when Blue Boo is doinking around and not listening and taking off the other direction when you say "Boo Sit" and point to the chair.
There's a time and a place for as few words as possible to mark the spot and get the point across. We are talking about THOSE times.
Cat Herder 12:17 PM 10-28-2011
Unregistered, Teaching appropriate behavior for the first time and re-enforcing PREVIOUSLY LEARNED behavior are two different things entirely. 
Short commands are used for consistent re-enforcement without having to take time away from the majority during an activity.
Works like a charm and I'd bet you use it without realizing it.
Short commands are used for consistent re-enforcement without having to take time away from the majority during an activity.
Works like a charm and I'd bet you use it without realizing it.
MissAnn 01:30 PM 10-28-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I think that a child deserves some respect- they should no why they need to do something not just a one word commend IMO
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
Kids don't appreciate the extra words. They need guidance.....and a quick "sit" tells them what they need to know. You don't have to say it in a mean voice or be disrespectful in any way. Just......sit.....it get's the point across and life goes on. I'm happy and kid is happy.I think that a child deserves some respect- they should no why they need to do something not just a one word commend IMO
Children are smarter than you think and really they will catch onto this 'commending' way you talk and begin to speak like that to others.
Imagine if you were told, 'Sit' and that is it... Well why should I sit, where should I sit, what will happen if I sit..
Anyway, if it works for you great I just think a child deserves more respect.
What is wrong with saying, " you need to sit on your bum or you will get hurt"
Or in your case, " you need to stop tattling because it is rude." and then if it continues right after than say 'stop'
godiva83 03:03 PM 10-28-2011
I agree with all in this situation... Of course, kids deserve respect. And I tend to use, "You need" statements or choices like you can either sit in the blue chair or the red. I agree when safety is a concern you need to get your message out ASAP and less words works.
My kids are all under 2 so thankfully I have yet to expierience the talking back or the 'but whys'
I use simple directions that my kids understand but always offer a reason or a choice. I want them to realize why I am asking, or that they can make appropriate choices. I don't talk to my children the same way I would talk to a dog!
However, I do see everyone's points and opinions on why it works- who knows I might be down to one worded statements or commands when the kids start testing my method or talking back) but for now my kiddos are amazing
My kids are all under 2 so thankfully I have yet to expierience the talking back or the 'but whys'
I use simple directions that my kids understand but always offer a reason or a choice. I want them to realize why I am asking, or that they can make appropriate choices. I don't talk to my children the same way I would talk to a dog!
However, I do see everyone's points and opinions on why it works- who knows I might be down to one worded statements or commands when the kids start testing my method or talking back
) but for now my kiddos are amazing
Childminder 04:16 PM 10-28-2011
I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"
In ECE classes we were told that the average child at 9mo is capable of learning and doing the same commands as a full grown dog. Ie; sit, stay, lay down, heel, no, come, etc... all one or two words commands. We were taught to speak to them in phrases not long sentences. One instructor said to remember the movie where Tom Cruise comes in and gives Rene Zelwegers character a long drawn out explanation and she replies "You had me at Hello." One word.
In ECE classes we were told that the average child at 9mo is capable of learning and doing the same commands as a full grown dog. Ie; sit, stay, lay down, heel, no, come, etc... all one or two words commands. We were taught to speak to them in phrases not long sentences. One instructor said to remember the movie where Tom Cruise comes in and gives Rene Zelwegers character a long drawn out explanation and she replies "You had me at Hello." One word.
godiva83 08:05 PM 10-28-2011
Originally Posted by Childminder:
I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"
In ECE classes we were told that the average child at 9mo is capable of learning and doing the same commands as a full grown dog. Ie; sit, stay, lay down, heel, no, come, etc... all one or two words commands. We were taught to speak to them in phrases not long sentences. One instructor said to remember the movie where Tom Cruise comes in and gives Rene Zelwegers character a long drawn out explanation and she replies "You had me at Hello." One word.
I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"
In ECE classes we were told that the average child at 9mo is capable of learning and doing the same commands as a full grown dog. Ie; sit, stay, lay down, heel, no, come, etc... all one or two words commands. We were taught to speak to them in phrases not long sentences. One instructor said to remember the movie where Tom Cruise comes in and gives Rene Zelwegers character a long drawn out explanation and she replies "You had me at Hello." One word.
That is very interesting... And I do see how it makes sense. However, I was taught while taking my degree in ECE very opposite. We were taught to give directional statements, reasoning, and true choices this was 2002 though and I really haven't taken any classes in child development since 2005- maybe something I should think about lol
Anyway, sorry to stray from the OP, I am glad the advice Nan gave you worked it's magic for you - life is so much easier when your day at work goes smoothly
dave4him 08:10 PM 10-28-2011
Sit
Sit
good girl
Sit
good girl
DaisyMamma 05:26 AM 10-30-2011
Originally Posted by Childminder:
I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"
Yes, it's true.I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"
Michelle 09:51 AM 10-30-2011
We always say, "sit please" and "thank you" when they do.
We are teaching our kids manners in addition to obeying us.
When we ask if they would like another cracker etc. they are to say, "yes please" or "no thank you".... not "yea or "no"
They learn from a very early age because we talk to them with respect and we get respect back.
These are short enough words that get the point across without the feeling that you are training a dog
We are teaching our kids manners in addition to obeying us.
When we ask if they would like another cracker etc. they are to say, "yes please" or "no thank you".... not "yea or "no"
They learn from a very early age because we talk to them with respect and we get respect back.
These are short enough words that get the point across without the feeling that you are training a dog
nannyde 10:14 AM 10-30-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:
We always say, "sit please" and "thank you" when they do.
We are teaching our kids manners in addition to obeying us.
When we ask if they would like another cracker etc. they are to say, "yes please" or "no thank you".... not "yea or "no"
They learn from a very early age because we talk to them with respect and we get respect back.
These are short enough words that get the point across without the feeling that you are training a dog
I'm not against the using please and thank you in addition to the words you use to send the message that you want them to do something or obey. I don't think it's necessary though to be polite or show respect to the child. We always say, "sit please" and "thank you" when they do.
We are teaching our kids manners in addition to obeying us.
When we ask if they would like another cracker etc. they are to say, "yes please" or "no thank you".... not "yea or "no"
They learn from a very early age because we talk to them with respect and we get respect back.
These are short enough words that get the point across without the feeling that you are training a dog
If you are telling a child to sit because that's where they need to be safe or be to do something the group is they aren't doing YOU a favor or going out of their way for YOU. Asking them to please do something implies to me that you are giving them the power to choose to do it OR that there doing so is a gift or extra for you.
When I tell them to sit, shush, come, etc.... I'm telling them that because they MUST. I don't appreciate it. I expect it.
Now if I need a Kleenex and I can't reach it without gettin off my fat rear end and I ask the oldest kid to please go get it for me........ well that's a gift to ME. THEN I would say "Little Missy would you please grab me a Kleenex?" When she gets it for me then I say "thankyouverymuchyoulittle-stink-bot"
When I need her to stand at the front of the line I'm not asking please and I'm not saying thanks. I am the adult and there are times when I just say what I want them to do and they just do it. It doesn't have a thing to do with respect or polite. I'm not in the business of teaching polite at those times and I am not considering child RESPECT when I do that.
Words are powerful and they are not left unnoticed by this generation of little humans. I think we need to choose them wisely and without equivocation.