morgan24 03:56 AM 01-26-2012
Yesterday I gave notice to 10 year old dcb who uses ADHD as his excuse for bad behavior. I decided I had had enough of his sassy mouth and him being rough with the toys and little kids. Last week he told me I had the worst daycare he had ever attended. He sealed his fate that day. Dcm is really nice and I felt a little bad but she didn't seem surprised at all.
That was my reminder that school age and I don't mix well. I don't terminate often so Thanks Blackcat I used your advice on how to do it.
cheerfuldom 06:16 AM 01-26-2012
sounds like the best move. it is really hard for some parents to see where ADHD is and where it is just plain out bad behavior. that makes your job really hard.
countrymom 06:20 AM 01-26-2012
I had a kid like this too, they blamed his adhd for everything, but he was a bad seed who wanted revenge on his parents for not paying attention to him. When are parents going to stop blaming medical issues for childrens bad behvior.
Unregistered 06:40 AM 01-26-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I had a kid like this too, they blamed his adhd for everything, but he was a bad seed who wanted revenge on his parents for not paying attention to him. When are parents going to stop blaming medical issues for childrens bad behvior.
This is the type of Ignorant comments I deal with everyday SOME children DO have MEDICAL ISSUES that cause behavior disorders its NOT always the parents fault nor the childs SOME of these children really wanna behave and be good but lose control. As a parent of a Special Needs child I see it with my own eyes I NEVER blame his behavior on the ADHD plus Bi Polar disorder and he knows there is a punishment for him misbehaving and rewards for good behavior. If the shoe was on the other foot you would have more of an understanding.
familyschoolcare 07:14 AM 01-26-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This is the type of Ignorant comments I deal with everyday SOME children DO have MEDICAL ISSUES that cause behavior disorders its NOT always the parents fault nor the childs SOME of these children really wanna behave and be good but lose control. As a parent of a Special Needs child I see it with my own eyes I NEVER blame his behavior on the ADHD plus Bi Polar disorder and he knows there is a punishment for him misbehaving and rewards for good behavior. If the shoe was on the other foot you would have more of an understanding.
Sorry this is such a senative issue for you. I know that dealing with special need children can be very emotionaly draining.
While you complain that these are "Ignorant comments" and that "SOME children DO have MEDICAL ISSUES that cause behavior disorders" you also
say that "I NEVER blame his behavior on the ADHD plus Bi Polar disorder and he knows there is a punishment for him misbehaving and rewards for good
behavior." Which is realy what the OP was complaining about. I can see how it came across that the Op was complaining moatly about the child's
behavior. However she clearly stated that he uses ADHD as his excuse for bad behavior. Which atleast implies that the parent/child is not working on
unapporiate bad behaviors. I am glad to hear that you and you child are workin on them. P;ease hang in thier have a great day and try to realize that
not everything that sound less than positive about special needs children is negative or coming from a place of trying to blame the parents.
countrymom 07:52 AM 01-26-2012
dear unregistered, you need to read my post again. I said that the child was a bad seed that wanted revenge on his parents but they blamed his adhd for his bad behavior. Lets see, he tried to hitch hike home, tried to strangle himself at school, ate worms at school, stole his moms ipod and dismantled it, wrote bad words on his brother leappad, broke a neighbours window, shut the nieghbours gas line off... I can go on, and all awhile his parents blamed his adhd. There is a difference with bad behavior and adhd, adhd doesn't make you do those things. Oh this kid is 11 yrs old too. But if you did what I do then you would understand how parents blame the behavior on adhd because its easier to pass the buck around then to deal with it. Oh this kid also is never to be left with his younger brother because you never know....so don't tell me that its adhd.
sharlan 07:55 AM 01-26-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This is the type of Ignorant comments I deal with everyday SOME children DO have MEDICAL ISSUES that cause behavior disorders its NOT always the parents fault nor the childs SOME of these children really wanna behave and be good but lose control. As a parent of a Special Needs child I see it with my own eyes I NEVER blame his behavior on the ADHD plus Bi Polar disorder and he knows there is a punishment for him misbehaving and rewards for good behavior. If the shoe was on the other foot you would have more of an understanding.
You're right. I have a special needs child and I do everything possible to accomodate his needs.
On the other hand, in the past, I've had that child who's bad behavior was blamed on her ADHD. This child was old enough to articulate quite well on who was in control in her house and she was quite proud of it. EVERYTHING had to be done her way or she would throw huge physical temper tantrums. This family was in counseling twice a week to deal with her "ADHD". This child was even able to manipulate the psychologist. I refused to play the child's games and termed. It was easier for the parents to blame her ADHD and give her the right to use it as an excuse for her behavior than correct their parenting.
RYM Workshops 08:20 AM 07-19-2012
Just curious- did you try an incentive program with him? This approach works really well with children struggling with behavioral issuse. I swear by them...
Unregistered 11:46 AM 07-20-2012
I'm glad you were able to handle the termination well!
I am a DCP and a parent and step parent of 3 children who have ADD in varying degrees. There is a difference between impulsive/forgetful behavior and outright rudeness. My kiddos get disciplined for rudeness just like any other child would.
I think sometimes ADD (a neurobiological disorder) is misdiagnosed. I see a lot of kids labeled ADD who appear to actually have a conduct disorder/sociopathy.