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Old 05-23-2013, 01:46 PM
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lflick lflick is offline
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Default Posted Other Day BUT .... Need Help

I have a newly enrolled 18 month old DCB. Anyways he's just "strange".... he is non verbal.... if he's not crying mono-toned he's laying on the floor, any surface... currently the kitchen floor, making no sound... most times he's in a trace and repeatedly flicks the tag on his blanket. I have tried for 3 days now to redirect him and he often ignores everything...including 2 DCGs.... if he acknowledges me he will whine again.

He is literally disinterested in everything... toys...the dog & the puppy... even the 2 cats. Mom states he watches TV often. He still has a nuk and bottle (I dont offer it here). He rarely eats.... sits and cries.. he IS one heck of a good napper so I can't see him as being tired.

It's frustrating as I have 5 boys of my own and they were always into stuff at this age. Mom mentioned a consult with a local program that apparently mentioned possible Autism... I initially was doubtful in my own mind, as they were quick to throw that term about one of mine for simply not speaking many words until he was 2; however, now I am really starting to question this. Am I being irrational?

With him it makes it next to impossible to do anything as a group. He is like a lump on the floor that will occasionally make noise. I am not willing to put up with this on a constant basis as I don't have the resources to do so. As it stands he has literally been laying on the floor in the same position for 2 hrs despite constant attempts to redirect and engage.
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Old 05-23-2013, 01:55 PM
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Does he walk? Does he make eye contact?
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:02 PM
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He can walk. He rarely will make eye contact. Most times he will completely ignore when I try to engage him directly one on one he ignores and will even turn his body away or push his head into his blanket onto the floor where he lays. He doesn't acknowledge his name or anything.
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:06 PM
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Did he get tested? If not, strongly encourage the mom to do this. Something is amiss.

He's not being disrespectful if something is really wrong. So be patient with him.
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted by lflick View Post
He can walk. He rarely will make eye contact. Most times he will completely ignore when I try to engage him directly one on one he ignores and will even turn his body away or push his head into his blanket onto the floor where he lays. He doesn't acknowledge his name or anything.
This is kind of a strange request, but is there any way you could video him for five minutes or so... And blur out his face or show him from the back so as to not identify him... And pm it to me??

Or email it to me
ibebackie@aol.com


I'm curious about something
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:07 PM
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We did a project that involved tracing hands and he wanted nothing to do with that either. I attempted to place his hand on the paper and he did it with my help and as soon as the pencil touched his hand, instead of giggling from the tickle like most do, he freaked out and pulled his hand away. There was no way he was going to let me do that!

I know it's not my place to interject any type of opinion (I have an extensive Pediatric medical background) but I just feel this is NOT "normal" behavior. I understand all kids develop at their own pace; however, I just feel like he is on his own track.. completely separate from other kids.

I know have known this mom for a while and that's why she brought up the eval in casual conversation. She was not happy they mentioned it as a possibility so I really don't want to poke a bear but I just feel his behavior is not appropriate. I can't believe he isn't even interested in a toy.. not a one!
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:13 PM
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Did he get tested? If not, strongly encourage the mom to do this. Something is amiss.

He's not being disrespectful if something is really wrong. So be patient with him.
I completely realized he was not being disrespectful after the first day as it is completely unlike anything I have EVER seen. The first day we had a struggle constantly about hitting the TV with both hands... over and over and over.. I redirected him.. he would go back... not pay any attention to anything else... he hasn't done that the past two days but the other behaviors are clearly consistent.
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:15 PM
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It's like he is completely oblivious to everything around him... I try to get his attention indirectly just by calling his name and he will cover his face with said blanket... it's not like he isn't hearing me.
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:15 PM
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We did a project that involved tracing hands and he wanted nothing to do with that either. I attempted to place his hand on the paper and he did it with my help and as soon as the pencil touched his hand, instead of giggling from the tickle like most do, he freaked out and pulled his hand away. There was no way he was going to let me do that!

I know it's not my place to interject any type of opinion (I have an extensive Pediatric medical background) but I just feel this is NOT "normal" behavior. I understand all kids develop at their own pace; however, I just feel like he is on his own track.. completely separate from other kids.

I know have known this mom for a while and that's why she brought up the eval in casual conversation. She was not happy they mentioned it as a possibility so I really don't want to poke a bear but I just feel his behavior is not appropriate. I can't believe he isn't even interested in a toy.. not a one!
will he play with a car that has spinning wheels?
that is usually a good indicator....
if he won't even do that then I would suspect he has a severe sensory problem or autism
let us know how he does
for little boy
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:15 PM
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No, you're definitely right, something is badly amiss. Urge mom to seek an evaluation through your state's Early Intervention or birth to three program or whatever variant you have. NO parent likes to hear that their precious bundle might not be perfect, but unfortunately, sometimes that's the way it is. I would find a good developmental checklist and fill it out, talk to mom and say, "I'm so sorry Mary, but we need to talk. I am concerned about Josh; he's not where he should be developmentally. The sooner he gets intervention the more helpful it is. Please, please call this number and schedule and evaluation so we can help Josh get the help he needs! let me know how it goes, okay?"

or something...
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:18 PM
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The B-3 program are the ones that did the eval. He will not play with anything except his blanket. The first day I got him to look at the toys... he didn't play with anything just dumped them out and walked away. My concerns are genuine and he really is a sweet boy... he is seemingly so disconnected and it hurts my heart. I am afraid that I will be ill equipped to continue care for him. I did tell mom that after the treatment plan has been made, for whatever they conclude, I would like a copy of it so I can help to the best of my ability and I also extended the opportunity for the therapist to come during the day while he is here.
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:32 PM
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Is there any chance he's fixated on the blanket and it's paralyzing him from going beyond that for interaction?

I would not allow the blanket and sit back and watch the storm. I have had a few kids who were so blanket addicted at home that they wouldn't be able to function in my environment. I never allow blankets, paci's, or comfort items so it's a whole new world here.

I've had them convert to normal kids here and revert to binky sucking blankey addicted the minute they walk out the door till they come back. I tell you no lies.
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Old 05-23-2013, 02:56 PM
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He sounds very much like a boy I know who has autism. I hope his family will be open to having him evaluated, with therapy I have seen the little guy I know make great strides.
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Old 05-23-2013, 04:55 PM
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Is there any chance he's fixated on the blanket and it's paralyzing him from going beyond that for interaction?

I would not allow the blanket and sit back and watch the storm. I have had a few kids who were so blanket addicted at home that they wouldn't be able to function in my environment. I never allow blankets, paci's, or comfort items so it's a whole new world here.

I've had them convert to normal kids here and revert to binky sucking blankey addicted the minute they walk out the door till they come back. I tell you no lies.
I've had the same experience with blankets and stuffed animals. I allow them only at nap time (same with paci's for children over 1). Sometimes, in the beginning, I've gotten them out for a "quick hug", but generally, we just put them in our bed for nap time.

It sounds like OP is seeing some things that are beyond the blankie-addicted thing, though, don't you think?
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Old 05-23-2013, 05:36 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Is there any chance he's fixated on the blanket and it's paralyzing him from going beyond that for interaction?

I would not allow the blanket and sit back and watch the storm. I have had a few kids who were so blanket addicted at home that they wouldn't be able to function in my environment. I never allow blankets, paci's, or comfort items so it's a whole new world here.

I've had them convert to normal kids here and revert to binky sucking blankey addicted the minute they walk out the door till they come back. I tell you no lies.
I was going to suggest this too. I have a girl who if I allow it, that blanket is her universe. She even yells at the cat if he touches it. I remove it and voila shes busy with other toys.
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Old 05-23-2013, 05:58 PM
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I've had the same experience with blankets and stuffed animals. I allow them only at nap time (same with paci's for children over 1). Sometimes, in the beginning, I've gotten them out for a "quick hug", but generally, we just put them in our bed for nap time.

It sounds like OP is seeing some things that are beyond the blankie-addicted thing, though, don't you think?
I think op has good radar BUT I have seen kids who were very very addicted to blankets, binkies, tags, stuffies, etc who had a home life that revolved around the soothing and stimulation of those items plus constant screens and sucky cups/bottles.

Once these are unavailable the child became a completely different child. It's almost like the comfort items paralyzed their ability to receive the world around them. The removal or destruction of those items caused a HUGE family problem that went on for days and weeks.

Even when they went day after day without them here the family relied on them SO much that they became the centerpiece of parenting and the child's TIME with the parents. Their world and happiness was staked into the sucking, stroking, holding, etc. Add screens and or motion (jolly jumpers, swings) the parents literally were able to completely outsource their minute to minute parenting.

When here the child was released from the option to choose sucking, guarding, touching, etc. the child HAD to cope with what was surrounding him/her without the barrier there to block out the real world.

Before jumping into disease I would be willing to weather the storm (and it will be a storm of BIBLICAL proportions) and put TIME into showing this toddler real world unplugged. It may not work but it's worth a try.
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:01 PM
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I have a part time DCB that sounds just like this. He is also right around 18 months. When he first started here at 16 months he was not even attempting to walk. He walks now, but like a toddling 12 month old, and is very unsteady.
He also lays on the floor for long periods of time. He is not verbal. He doesn't eat. He doesn't have a blanket or lovie though.

He is also an awesome napper, but he will nap the whole day if I let him. (literally, I can put him down at 10 and he will sleep until 3:30, he leaves at 4).

I have been struggling with how to bring this up to the parents, but it sounds like we are dealing with a similar situation. I don't see DCM, his Nanny drops him off, so that makes it a little harder to get DCM informed on things.

Let me know what you end up doing, I would love any advice on this, as I decided yesterday that it is time to have a talk with Mom.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:08 PM
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I had a dck around 16 months that was the same way. At first I thought he was very shy. He would stand there staring at you sucking his thumb. At first I thought he was shy and perhaps coddled a little.

Turns out, he was a victim of neglect. I felt SO bad because it was upon a visit to my SON's dr to p/u his Rx for an MRI and a doctor's observation to see something was off. long story short, she advised me to call CPS and said she would be doing so as well.
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Old 05-24-2013, 10:08 AM
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WOW! Good thing your sons provider recommended that, kind of takes the guilt off of your shoulders! I know these parents personally and I can personally attest to a great deal of love and affection given all the time. I think the issues are partially related to over coddling and not treating him appropriate for his age. I do also believe the blanket contributes. I will be removing these from the environment except for naptime next week and depending on how he does I plan to remove it completely. I didn't want to cause a major storm immediately and figured we would ease into it.

I did request a copy of his evaluation and treatment plan from mom once she gets it. I explained to her the things I was seeing and that this information would assist me in incorporating their recommendations into our day when possible.

I can see this family being a long term family, which would be great, but before I am ready to do this I feel I need to have resources available as well.

Thank you all so much for your input, I greatly appreciate everything. I love this site and am so thankful to have found it!
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Old 05-24-2013, 10:19 AM
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I agree with removing the blanket completly during awake time, but may I ask why you would remove it from naptime as well?
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Old 05-24-2013, 10:24 AM
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I agree with removing the blanket completly during awake time, but may I ask why you would remove it from naptime as well?
Jmho
Because he can do without it. He's a human baby. He doesn't need a blanket to let nature take its course and sleep when his body is tired. If he knows he will have it ANY time he will fixate on it ALL the time. He's a great napper now because he's confined with his blanket and nothing in the real world can come in between him and his fix.
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Old 05-24-2013, 10:29 AM
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He sounds very much like a boy I know who has autism. I hope his family will be open to having him evaluated, with therapy I have seen the little guy I know make great strides.
I just thought the same thing, sounds like a boy that I know that is autistic also.
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