Hate To Be The "Bad Guy," Buuuut....

blessedmess8 · #1 09-20-2011, 07:06 AM

I believe that kids learn real quick what they can get away with at home vs daycare. So, the 3 year old who whines and cries and yells at their parents is more than welcome to do that on THEIR time. But, here, I refuse to put up with it! So, until that child uses their "big kid" voice with me, I refuse to give in. I just pretend I can't hear them and tell them I can only hear big kid voices. More than happy to help a child put their shoes on (even though they can do it) but not if they yell at me to do it for them. It often turns in to a huge power struggle and I wonder if I should just let it go and give in. But, I know if I do, they'll think they can act that way here.
That said, how young is too young? I have a one year old I still have to feed baby food to and he was screaming at me between every bite. I guess that's just how he communicates at home. (I'm working on baby sign with him.) By the end of the meal he was saying "more" instead of screaming for bites. It made me feel mean to ignore him when he screamed at me, but it worked! Do you think that is too young to start working with on things like that??

MommyMuffin · #2 09-20-2011, 07:40 AM

I have a 12 month old too and he doesn't eat baby food anymore. He also refuses to let me help feed him. Do you give the child finger foods? If you have to spoon feed him or her have you tried putting some finger foods on his plate too ?
As for the screaming for things; with my 1 yo I started saying no and redirecting. I think baby sign for meal time is awesome! Works so well with my toddlers and 1 yos!

blessedmess8 · #3 09-20-2011, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MommyMuffin

I have a 12 month old too and he doesn't eat baby food anymore. He also refuses to let me help feed him. Do you give the child finger foods? If you have to spoon feed him or her have you tried putting some finger foods on his plate too ?
As for the screaming for things; with my 1 yo I started saying no and redirecting. I think baby sign for meal time is awesome! Works so well with my toddlers and 1 yos!

He doesn't spoon feed himself well yet and we had to take him back down to baby food b/c of allergy/digestion issues. He did do finger foods very well before, though! Probably part of his frustration. He went from self feeding for the most part back to being fed half liquid foods. I understand that, but I think he can learn something besides screaming between each bite!!

eventually.

cheerfuldom · #4 09-20-2011, 07:45 AM

no its too young. As soon as they are physically or mentally capable of something, it is reasonable to expect that of them. If he can say the word more and can wait for a bite, then you should expect that of him at each meal. I do very little "extra" for my kids and daycare kids that they are not capable of doing themselves. I do not carry kids that can walk, I do not spoon feed kids that can self feed, I don't do clothes and shoes for kids that can do it themselves. My own 2 and 3 year old are very self sufficient

I tell them its time for a walk and they run and get shoes, sweaters, etc out for themselves, get ready on their own and run and wait by the door! Back to the little guy, I would get up and do something else or pay attention to another kid when he is screaming. He gets nothing till he is calm and uses his words. I have an 11 month old that tries this every day and quickly remembers that I don't work like that. Shes part time and I know she screams at mom and dad for stuff all the time at home.

AnneCordelia · #5 09-20-2011, 08:47 AM

My own son turned one today. Let me tell you, if I let him, he'd run the show here!! When he throws a tantrum (for example if I say, "No touching") he sits his butt down on the floor, looks around to see what's behind him, and then throws himself backwards into an arched back tantrum.

It lasted for a week...I would pick him up from his tantrum and put him in the pack-n-play in the hallway outside the playroom (still visible). As soon as he quieted down I would go in all rainbows and sunshine to get him out.

He did the same thing with yelling for food. I just say the same words over..."No yelling" and "We all wait our turn" ect. If you are 100% consistent then it will work and the babe should get the idea.

I don't think he's too young to understand that. I do think that at age 1 you'll have fewer power struggles over food if you let him feed himself. I have 4 1yos (3 dck and 1 mine) and all feed themselves snack and lunch.