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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCKs Complaining About Baby
mamamanda 08:21 AM 05-28-2015
I currently only have one infant in care and he is mine. He is crawling & just starting to cruise so he moves around a lot in whatever room we're in. 3 of my dcks complain about him constantly and its driving me crazy. He touched my foot, he crawled too close to me, he's touching me again. 3 kids were sitting on the rug playing with mega blocks today. The baby crawled over to the rug & picked up 2 blocks, one in each hand, and sat up & tapped them together. He didn't take any the kids were playing with. They were in the pile on the floor. Instantly I heard, "The baby's bothering us. We don't like him to be around us! Make him stop." I don't let him take what toys away from them or knock down their towers. But I don't want to confine him to one corner all day either. How do you teach a baby not to "touch" someone's leg as they crawl by and how do you explain to 3 & 4 year olds that a baby isn't trying to be mean to you. One dcb keeps telling my 3 year old"your baby's not cute," or "your baby's weird." I do let them all say hi to the baby & give a quick hug at the start of the day, but then i tell them not to touch him or get in his face b/c they're so rough. Maybe that's why they don't like him touching them. I really don't know how to handle this & I feel so frustrated.
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cheerfuldom 08:46 AM 05-28-2015
I would not change anything other than to tell the kids "thats what babies do" when they complain. The baby is a part of the group and I wouldnt do anything other than make sure baby is safe and not destroying projects. Other than that, it is up to the big kids to adjust.
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Laurel 09:14 AM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would not change anything other than to tell the kids "thats what babies do" when they complain. The baby is a part of the group and I wouldnt do anything other than make sure baby is safe and not destroying projects. Other than that, it is up to the big kids to adjust.


Also if they say that the baby isn't cute or weird I'd tell them that they are not allowed to say that again. Period. I would say "It isn't nice to say the baby is weird so I don't want you to say it again, do you understand?"

Laurel
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Play Care 09:29 AM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by :
I would not change anything other than to tell the kids "thats what babies do" when they complain. The baby is a part of the group and I wouldnt do anything other than make sure baby is safe and not destroying projects. Other than that, it is up to the big kids to adjust
This!!

And This!!

Originally Posted by :
Also if they say that the baby isn't cute or weird I'd tell them that they are not allowed to say that again. Period. I would say "It isn't nice to say the baby is weird so I don't want you to say it again, do you understand?"

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laundrymom 09:46 AM 05-28-2015
I agree with the other posters.

He's a baby. He's exploring his world. JUST like you used to. He is learning. And you are going to let him.

Hurtful words are unacceptable at Ms Laundrys house. This is your only warning. You will sit by yourself if you use hurtful words again.

And follow through.
If they complain about him exploring his world give them the option of sitting at a table with a book.
If they use hurtful words they sit in a thinking chair. Period. No bartering. No whining out of it. They sit. Every single time.
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CraftyMom 09:54 AM 05-28-2015
Yes to all of the above!

I respond "he wants to play to, give him a few blocks" or something similar.

No one is allowed to name call, so saying he is weird or whatever...I'd give ONE warning, then timeout every time they say it
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laundrymom 09:58 AM 05-28-2015
Look out. RANT coming on::
I think this whole
He's touching me
He's messing with my toys
She's slobbering on my doll!
Get that baby away from me!

Etc
Stems from the flowery, don't hurt anyone's feelings, politically correct, yes yes yes dear, give it to them so you don't bruise their ego society we seem to have.
Not many children learn patience and compassion anymore.

They throw a fit for a toy in the store, it gets in the cart
They are bored and get a device to occupy them
They are bored in the car and get food, a movie or special toys to keep them entertained.
They don't know how to come up with their own ideas. They have no idea how to make up games. Their imaginations are crap. Their attention spans less than a goldfish and their manners non exhistant.

And it's not helping them learn how to be independent people. They rely on technology to get them through life.
When honestly, laying g on a blanket with blocks and books and talking about the clouds is something they could all benefit from. Even the parents!
Ugh. Sorry. Just a minor vent. Sorry. Rant over.
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Annalee 10:03 AM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Look out. RANT coming on::
I think this whole
He's touching me
He's messing with my toys
She's slobbering on my doll!
Get that baby away from me!

Etc
Stems from the flowery, don't hurt anyone's feelings, politically correct, yes yes yes dear, give it to them so you don't bruise their ego society we seem to have.
Not many children learn patience and compassion anymore.

They throw a fit for a toy in the store, it gets in the cart
They are bored and get a device to occupy them
They are bored in the car and get food, a movie or special toys to keep them entertained.
They don't know how to come up with their own ideas. They have no idea how to make up games. Their imaginations are crap. Their attention spans less than a goldfish and their manners non exhistant.

And it's not helping them learn how to be independent people. They rely on technology to get them through life.
When honestly, laying g on a blanket with blocks and books and talking about the clouds is something they could all benefit from. Even the parents!
Ugh. Sorry. Just a minor vent. Sorry. Rant over.

Reply
Blackcat31 11:23 AM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Look out. RANT coming on::
I think this whole
He's touching me
He's messing with my toys
She's slobbering on my doll!
Get that baby away from me!

Etc
Stems from the flowery, don't hurt anyone's feelings, politically correct, yes yes yes dear, give it to them so you don't bruise their ego society we seem to have.
Not many children learn patience and compassion anymore.

They throw a fit for a toy in the store, it gets in the cart
They are bored and get a device to occupy them
They are bored in the car and get food, a movie or special toys to keep them entertained.
They don't know how to come up with their own ideas. They have no idea how to make up games. Their imaginations are crap. Their attention spans less than a goldfish and their manners non exhistant.

And it's not helping them learn how to be independent people. They rely on technology to get them through life.
When honestly, laying g on a blanket with blocks and books and talking about the clouds is something they could all benefit from. Even the parents!
Ugh. Sorry. Just a minor vent. Sorry. Rant over.
Well, tell us how you really feel....


I couldn't agree more!

Here "go play" and "figure it out yourself" are VERY common phrases....

I don't fertilize the "flower children" I have in care......I allow them to deal with things and figure it out on their own.

Sometimes it does invoke some pretty hurt feelings or a few episodes of pouting/whining but I am pretty good at ignoring those exhibits of "I didn't get my way....." and end up with some really awesome kids who actually have compassion for others and manners too!

I agree 200% with everything you said!!
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laundrymom 11:35 AM 05-28-2015
You know me. I'm all about going with the crowd. Lol.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Well, tell us how you really feel....


I couldn't agree more!

Here "go play" and "figure it out yourself" are VERY common phrases....

I don't fertilize the "flower children" I have in care......I allow them to deal with things and figure it out on their own.

Sometimes it does invoke some pretty hurt feelings or a few episodes of pouting/whining but I am pretty good at ignoring those exhibits of "I didn't get my way....." and end up with some really awesome kids who actually have compassion for others and manners too!

I agree 200% with everything you said!!

Reply
Blackcat31 11:55 AM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
You know me. I'm all about going with the crowd. Lol.
....precisely why I you
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mamamanda 01:20 PM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Look out. RANT coming on::
I think this whole
He's touching me
He's messing with my toys
She's slobbering on my doll!
Get that baby away from me!

Etc
Stems from the flowery, don't hurt anyone's feelings, politically correct, yes yes yes dear, give it to them so you don't bruise their ego society we seem to have.
Not many children learn patience and compassion anymore.

They throw a fit for a toy in the store, it gets in the cart
They are bored and get a device to occupy them
They are bored in the car and get food, a movie or special toys to keep them entertained.
They don't know how to come up with their own ideas. They have no idea how to make up games. Their imaginations are crap. Their attention spans less than a goldfish and their manners non exhistant.

And it's not helping them learn how to be independent people. They rely on technology to get them through life.
When honestly, laying g on a blanket with blocks and books and talking about the clouds is something they could all benefit from. Even the parents!
Ugh. Sorry. Just a minor vent. Sorry. Rant over.
I absolutely agree with this, but I will be honest that I struggle with knowing how to deal with it. Not all, but most of the children in my care get a ton of screen time, lots of junk food, & are handed what they want if they throw a big enough fit. I've been reading a lot about reality discipline and working to deliberately use it both for my own kids & the daycare kids & the results are amazing! My Ds chose a toy at WalMart a few weeks ago with some money he had. He carried it up to the conveyor belt & laid it down. The cashier rang it up & asked if she should hand it back. I said no thank you that she could bag it & I'd give it to him in the car so he wouldn't be distracted in the parking lot. She said most kids that come through here would be screaming for it by now. I said, "If he screams he doesn't get the toy."
That lady looked at me like I was crazy with her eyebrows raised. Then she laughed & said, "So that's how it works."
This I exactly why so many of our daycare kids act like they do. I will say if you're not used to responding this way though it takes a deliberate change of mindset b/c its easier to give them what they want in the moment, but so much harder in the long run.
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spud912 02:46 PM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't fertilize the "flower children"
Favorite quote to date!!
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Second Home 03:25 AM 05-29-2015
What I would also do is turn it around . When they say he is bothering us tell them but you are teaching him ________________. Make the older kids feel like they are doing something good and helpful .
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nannyde 05:02 AM 05-29-2015
I don't mix infants with older kids EVER so I got nuttin.
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Sunchimes 05:30 AM 05-29-2015
My baby has started crawling and pulling up, even using the other kids for leverage. I taught them to freeze and call for help if she bothers them. I would swear I learned that from Nannyd, but since she says she doesn't mix ages, it must have been someone else here. Sometimes, they allow it patiently, sometimes they call for help with varying degrees of angst. Mostly, they hand over a few blocks or animals. If they go in her mouth, they will pitch them in the dirty toy basket. Yesterday, the 2 yo boy was feeding a doll. He ended up showing the baby how to give the doll a bottle. It was adorable.
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Blackcat31 05:34 AM 05-29-2015
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
My baby has started crawling and pulling up, even using the other kids for leverage. I taught them to freeze and call for help if she bothers them. I would swear I learned that from Nannyd, but since she says she doesn't mix ages, it must have been someone else here. Sometimes, they allow it patiently, sometimes they call for help with varying degrees of angst. Mostly, they hand over a few blocks or animals. If they go in her mouth, they will pitch them in the dirty toy basket. Yesterday, the 2 yo boy was feeding a doll. He ended up showing the baby how to give the doll a bottle. It was adorable.
You did. Its a technique she calls "surrender to the baby"

You can find it here: https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/?s=s...er+to+the+baby
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Sunchimes 05:41 PM 05-29-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You did. Its a technique she calls "surrender to the baby"

You can find it here: https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/?s=s...er+to+the+baby
I thought so. All I know is that it works miracles. I have a 2 yo stroke survivor with rage issues. Last fall, I took a micro-preemie just a month out of NICU. I started teaching him the first day, long before we were even doing tummy time with her. Nine months later, he can be in the middle of a rage, and when curious baby tries to approach him, he backs away or calms down. He has nudged her with his foot once, and I think he was appalled with himself. . He was largely non-verbal until recently. I think he learned to say my name because of the baby.
He has added "help" to his vocabulary now.
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MyAngels 08:11 PM 05-29-2015
I agree with what everyone else said, but I also have to add that it really makes me sad to think of older children treating babies that way. Right now I have two infants, one toddler and three preschoolers. All of the older children just love the babies .

I have always taught my older kids that they are the "teachers" to the young babies, just as they were "taught" by the older kids in care when they were tiny. Not just this group, but through the years my kids have always been great with the tiny ones.

I sincerely hope I don't run end up enrolling any "flower children" before I'm old enough to retire. I'm not sure how I'd handle that
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nannyde 05:36 AM 05-30-2015
I would not mix a crawler in with my older three and four year olds. I start SLOWLY integrating them when they are fully walking and have the rooms divided up so that the new walker can play with everything on his side. I don't have a multi level aged group room where a baby cruises in and out of the older kids play.

If I mix a baby with a new walker there is an adult within feet of the children and it is for brief times to work with the walker to stay off and away from the baby.

I have a video of integrating a new walker into the one and two year old side of the room and how yo train everyone off the babies.

When I say surrender to the baby non walking infants I mean leave them and their stuff alone. Don't touch or go near.

I've seen too many deals in my career of older kids falling on or tripping over babies when babies are allowed in their play area. Also, when there are infant injuries it is common for the provider to blame it on an older child falling or harming the baby. It puts the provider under great suspicion when this claim is made because it is SO common when a baby gets a broken leg or internal injuries.
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Unregistered 06:21 PM 05-30-2015
I would set up expectations each day before play started.

I'd say the baby will be close to you and touching you today. That's what will happen when you are here.

I'd ignore the older kids negative baby remarks to a point.

I'd notice and comment to kids who were kind to the baby.

If kids said this to a baby who grabbed two blocks and sat up and knocked them together and they complained I'd say, "You can continue to play with everyone including baby or sit at the table doing table toys where baby can't reach...it's your choice. I'd be using my firm voice and look!

If it continued I'd be firmer and firmer and direct them to the table each time without a choice. I'm sure I'd being saying oh no! Absolutely NOT! Go find a toy at the table. Play would be limited if it continued.
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