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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Give Up?
Heart12 02:47 PM 09-27-2016
Last week I scheduled an interview & the family did a no call/no show. Later that night I received a text from the Mom apologizing, saying that she & her Husband run an HVAC company & had an emergency call & she lost track of time. I was kind of annoyed because I had held off dinner for my family waiting for them to show, so I didnt answer the message. She sent me another message apologizing again, asking if we could please reschedule. I agreed & she said she was off work Tuesday (today) so she could come anytime. We set a time & then my daycare kids left super early today so I asked her if she would like to come earlier than we planned. She said she couldnt because she is at work & would be here at 5:30. Once again, I have held of dinner & I havent heard anything from the family. UGH! I dont want to ignore her message if she sends me one, so what would be a professional way to say, youve stood me up twice & Im afraid this will be an issue with you picking up on time??
Controlled Chaos 03:01 PM 09-27-2016
If she contacts you again I would explain the spot is no longer available, and if she apologizes a bunch and tries to get another interview I would tell her you don't work with people who are disrespectful enough to no show, and waste you time.
daycare 03:15 PM 09-27-2016
I don't know if I would lie. I did that once and it really bite me in the behind.
Long story, so i won't explain in detail. But I said it is no longer available and then the family found my ad online a week later. Called me back and said oh great you have another opening. I didn't know what to say, I lied again and said no, it's an old ad. in the end, I was almost going to be sued over it. The family yelled discrimination. nothing ended up coming of it. But please be careful.
I would just tell the family, I have moved on to other families, I wish you the best of luck in your search for care. Basically what PP said, but worded differently.
Long story, so i won't explain in detail. But I said it is no longer available and then the family found my ad online a week later. Called me back and said oh great you have another opening. I didn't know what to say, I lied again and said no, it's an old ad. in the end, I was almost going to be sued over it. The family yelled discrimination. nothing ended up coming of it. But please be careful.
I would just tell the family, I have moved on to other families, I wish you the best of luck in your search for care. Basically what PP said, but worded differently.
daycare 03:20 PM 09-27-2016
also wanted to add...
look at it like this. If they are doing this now, imagine what they will do once enrolled.
I also tell people when I make their appointment to meet with me..
" I work very long days and extend my days to meet with you during my personal family time. I am not paid for this time and therefore am asking that if you are not able to make the appointment for any reason that you kindly let me know in advance as soon as possible. Thank you so much for your understanding, it is greatly appreciated."
DCP
look at it like this. If they are doing this now, imagine what they will do once enrolled.
I also tell people when I make their appointment to meet with me..
" I work very long days and extend my days to meet with you during my personal family time. I am not paid for this time and therefore am asking that if you are not able to make the appointment for any reason that you kindly let me know in advance as soon as possible. Thank you so much for your understanding, it is greatly appreciated."
DCP
EntropyControlSpecialist 03:22 PM 09-27-2016
For this very reason I say, "Barring extenuating circumstances, missed or late arrivals will not be rescheduled. Please provide no less than ____ hours notice if you need to cancel or reschedule." It's about respect.
I have found that a high percentage of the no call no shows do it a second time. If they DO show the second time around they wind up being bad clients. I just don't do it any longer. They don't even try to reschedule since they are told this but if they did I would just repeat it back to them again.
I have found that a high percentage of the no call no shows do it a second time. If they DO show the second time around they wind up being bad clients. I just don't do it any longer. They don't even try to reschedule since they are told this but if they did I would just repeat it back to them again.
Heart12 03:27 PM 09-27-2016
WOW! 
Thanks so much for the advice!!
Thanks so much for the advice!!
Leigh 03:55 PM 09-27-2016
If they contact you again, just tell the truth:
I have a policy of not rescheduling no show appointments. I made an exception for you, and you stood me up again. I've been significantly inconvenienced both times that you have missed our appointments, and I'm not willing to let it happen again. Here's where you can find a listing of other daycares to try___________.
I have a policy of not rescheduling no show appointments. I made an exception for you, and you stood me up again. I've been significantly inconvenienced both times that you have missed our appointments, and I'm not willing to let it happen again. Here's where you can find a listing of other daycares to try___________.
Mike 04:10 PM 09-27-2016
Great advice above. Unless you're desperate for a spot filled, just tell her, sorry, I only give 1 second chance.
The part where she says she's off today, then suddenly she's at work, tells me she puts herself first and says whatever she needs to say to do that.
The part where she says she's off today, then suddenly she's at work, tells me she puts herself first and says whatever she needs to say to do that.
Heart12 07:02 AM 09-28-2016
I am kind of desperate to fill the spot, but I do feel like this is a red flag. Like if you cant even message me to tell me youre not coming, are you going to be hard to track down in an emergency or are you going to constantly pick up late? She finally texted me last night at 8:30 (3 hours after our scheduled interview) & said that her husband had gotten hurt at work. IDK guys, I felt like her story (the way she described it) was a made up story & I was so annoyed I didnt bother responding. If she messages me today I am definitely going to tell her about my no-show policy. Thanks for the advice!!
Mike 07:21 AM 09-28-2016
Hmmm, putting pieces together, it looks like it is possible she had reasons for not showing.
They run a husband/wife business. They aren't with you yet, and business is a priority to them, so...
First no show, they get an emergency call. They have to deal with that, then let you know what happened.
Second no show, she wasn't supposed to be at work, but husband gets injured, so she has to go in and take over. Again, have to deal with business first, then get back to you.
From there side, they probably don't realise you are changing your schedule to meet them. They may think they are just going to meet you at a set time while you go about your regular stuff, so an emergency (to them) comes up and of course they have to deal with that first.
There is a small chance that they could be good clients and fill a spot for you with a nice kid, but also a chance that they may have an emergency around pickup time and suddenly end up being an hour late for pickup.
If I was desperate for a spot filled, I might give them 1 more chance, BUT only if they showed me records of the emergency call and proof of the injury, and I would make it clear to them that I change my schedule for these meetings and their no show and no call interrupts that. I would also make sure they have a backup plan for pickup in case they have an emergency, and they know that in the event of a late pickup, there is a high hourly rate.
If I wasn't desperate for a spot filled, I would say bye bye.
Just in case looking at it from their side makes a difference to you.
Many parents don't realise daycare is a serious business, not just babysitting.
They run a husband/wife business. They aren't with you yet, and business is a priority to them, so...
First no show, they get an emergency call. They have to deal with that, then let you know what happened.
Second no show, she wasn't supposed to be at work, but husband gets injured, so she has to go in and take over. Again, have to deal with business first, then get back to you.
From there side, they probably don't realise you are changing your schedule to meet them. They may think they are just going to meet you at a set time while you go about your regular stuff, so an emergency (to them) comes up and of course they have to deal with that first.
There is a small chance that they could be good clients and fill a spot for you with a nice kid, but also a chance that they may have an emergency around pickup time and suddenly end up being an hour late for pickup.
If I was desperate for a spot filled, I might give them 1 more chance, BUT only if they showed me records of the emergency call and proof of the injury, and I would make it clear to them that I change my schedule for these meetings and their no show and no call interrupts that. I would also make sure they have a backup plan for pickup in case they have an emergency, and they know that in the event of a late pickup, there is a high hourly rate.
If I wasn't desperate for a spot filled, I would say bye bye.
Just in case looking at it from their side makes a difference to you.
Many parents don't realise daycare is a serious business, not just babysitting.
Controlled Chaos 07:34 AM 09-28-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
I don't know if I would lie. I did that once and it really bite me in the behind.
Long story, so i won't explain in detail. But I said it is no longer available and then the family found my ad online a week later. Called me back and said oh great you have another opening. I didn't know what to say, I lied again and said no, it's an old ad. in the end, I was almost going to be sued over it. The family yelled discrimination. nothing ended up coming of it. But please be careful.
I would just tell the family, I have moved on to other families, I wish you the best of luck in your search for care. Basically what PP said, but worded differently.
If it sounded like it - I didn't mean OP should lie. Just that the spot is no longer available for the particular family I don't know if I would lie. I did that once and it really bite me in the behind.
Long story, so i won't explain in detail. But I said it is no longer available and then the family found my ad online a week later. Called me back and said oh great you have another opening. I didn't know what to say, I lied again and said no, it's an old ad. in the end, I was almost going to be sued over it. The family yelled discrimination. nothing ended up coming of it. But please be careful.
I would just tell the family, I have moved on to other families, I wish you the best of luck in your search for care. Basically what PP said, but worded differently.
I probably could have worded it better.
Heart12 08:14 AM 09-28-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
Hmmm, putting pieces together, it looks like it is possible she had reasons for not showing.
They run a husband/wife business. They aren't with you yet, and business is a priority to them, so...
First no show, they get an emergency call. They have to deal with that, then let you know what happened.
Second no show, she wasn't supposed to be at work, but husband gets injured, so she has to go in and take over. Again, have to deal with business first, then get back to you.
From there side, they probably don't realise you are changing your schedule to meet them. They may think they are just going to meet you at a set time while you go about your regular stuff, so an emergency (to them) comes up and of course they have to deal with that first.
There is a small chance that they could be good clients and fill a spot for you with a nice kid, but also a chance that they may have an emergency around pickup time and suddenly end up being an hour late for pickup.
If I was desperate for a spot filled, I might give them 1 more chance, BUT only if they showed me records of the emergency call and proof of the injury, and I would make it clear to them that I change my schedule for these meetings and their no show and no call interrupts that. I would also make sure they have a backup plan for pickup in case they have an emergency, and they know that in the event of a late pickup, there is a high hourly rate.
If I wasn't desperate for a spot filled, I would say bye bye.
Just in case looking at it from their side makes a difference to you.
Many parents don't realise daycare is a serious business, not just babysitting.
Thank you for your advice! Youve given me a lot to think about. Hmmm, putting pieces together, it looks like it is possible she had reasons for not showing.
They run a husband/wife business. They aren't with you yet, and business is a priority to them, so...
First no show, they get an emergency call. They have to deal with that, then let you know what happened.
Second no show, she wasn't supposed to be at work, but husband gets injured, so she has to go in and take over. Again, have to deal with business first, then get back to you.
From there side, they probably don't realise you are changing your schedule to meet them. They may think they are just going to meet you at a set time while you go about your regular stuff, so an emergency (to them) comes up and of course they have to deal with that first.
There is a small chance that they could be good clients and fill a spot for you with a nice kid, but also a chance that they may have an emergency around pickup time and suddenly end up being an hour late for pickup.
If I was desperate for a spot filled, I might give them 1 more chance, BUT only if they showed me records of the emergency call and proof of the injury, and I would make it clear to them that I change my schedule for these meetings and their no show and no call interrupts that. I would also make sure they have a backup plan for pickup in case they have an emergency, and they know that in the event of a late pickup, there is a high hourly rate.
If I wasn't desperate for a spot filled, I would say bye bye.
Just in case looking at it from their side makes a difference to you.
Many parents don't realise daycare is a serious business, not just babysitting.
I had talked to Mom yesterday around 11am & asked if she would like to come earlier then our scheduled 5:30pm. She told me then that she couldnt because she was already at work. Her message about her husband being in the hospital did sound fabricated, but I guess I shouldnt make that call without really knowing. Ugh! I guess Ill just wait for now to see if she messages me about still wanting care. I understand that life happens-if I do talk to her again Im going to make it very clear that my time is valuable
Heart12 08:15 AM 09-28-2016
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
If it sounded like it - I didn't mean OP should lie. Just that the spot is no longer available for the particular family I probably could have worded it better.
If it sounded like it - I didn't mean OP should lie. Just that the spot is no longer available for the particular family
I probably could have worded it better.I didnt take it as you were saying I should lie
Thanks so much for your advice!
mommiebookworm 08:56 AM 09-28-2016
My advice, is put your family first! I wouldn't hold off on dinner for a client. My kids really only need 10 minutes to eat, so i would go about my normal routine. Then, when the potential family shows up, I would do the interview.
daycare 09:07 AM 09-28-2016
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
If it sounded like it - I didn't mean OP should lie. Just that the spot is no longer available for the particular family I probably could have worded it better.
I know what you meant...If it sounded like it - I didn't mean OP should lie. Just that the spot is no longer available for the particular family
I probably could have worded it better.
Fiddlesticks 09:09 AM 09-28-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
Just in case looking at it from their side makes a difference to you.
Many parents don't realise daycare is a serious business, not just babysitting.
This is why I wouldn't give them another chance. If they are one of the people who think daycare is not a real/serious business, I wouldn't want them to be my clients.Just in case looking at it from their side makes a difference to you.
Many parents don't realise daycare is a serious business, not just babysitting.
daycare 09:15 AM 09-28-2016
Originally Posted by Fiddlesticks:
This is why I wouldn't give them another chance. If they are one of the people who think daycare is not a real/serious business, I wouldn't want them to be my clients.
I did grab that too. I wouldn't be able to place a family that didn't take me serious, but if you don't meet with them, they won't know how you run your business.This is why I wouldn't give them another chance. If they are one of the people who think daycare is not a real/serious business, I wouldn't want them to be my clients.
However, if they are first time parents, I can see how they may think that it's just a babysitting service and not a real program/business.
I find that a lot of my first time parents are blown away by my expectations when we meet. Meaning, they are surprised they they have to follow hours, days, rules, etc. It's not a drop off and pick up when you feel like it, pay me when you feel like it kind of deal.
Ariana 10:35 AM 09-28-2016
In my opinion it really has no bearing on me why they didn't show up. Even if the queen of Englad dropped by for tea it is not my concern. I run a business and if you cannot make an appointment you can at least have the couertesy of calling or texting. No call, no text, no show? No spot! We ALL have lives but some people just think theirs is much more important. Trust me this is a major red flag.
I was trying to sell brand new boots a few weeks ago and got stood up 2x by a potential buyer. In the end I felt she might have had a mental illness because her excuses were clearly fake. She would say "oops just leaving my house now, will be 10 minutes late". And then 3 hours later when she didn't show up I texted her asking her if everything was ok she said she had to make dinner
When I told her I was not available at another time she had the audacity to start telling me off and say I was being rude?! 
I was trying to sell brand new boots a few weeks ago and got stood up 2x by a potential buyer. In the end I felt she might have had a mental illness because her excuses were clearly fake. She would say "oops just leaving my house now, will be 10 minutes late". And then 3 hours later when she didn't show up I texted her asking her if everything was ok she said she had to make dinner
When I told her I was not available at another time she had the audacity to start telling me off and say I was being rude?!
daycare 10:38 AM 09-28-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
In my opinion it really has no bearing on me why they didn't show up. Even if the queen of Englad dropped by for tea it is not my concern. I run a business and if you cannot make an appointment you can at least have the couertesy of calling or texting. No call, no text, no show? No spot! We ALL have lives but some people just think theirs is much more important. Trust me this is a major red flag.
I was trying to sell brand new boots a few weeks ago and got stood up 2x by a potential buyer. In the end I felt she might have had a mental illness because her excuses were clearly fake. She would say "oops just leaving my house now, will be 10 minutes late". And then 3 hours later when she didn't show up I texted her asking her if everything was ok she said she had to make dinner When I told her I was not available at another time she had the audacity to start telling me off and say I was being rude?!
agree 100% with this.In my opinion it really has no bearing on me why they didn't show up. Even if the queen of Englad dropped by for tea it is not my concern. I run a business and if you cannot make an appointment you can at least have the couertesy of calling or texting. No call, no text, no show? No spot! We ALL have lives but some people just think theirs is much more important. Trust me this is a major red flag.
I was trying to sell brand new boots a few weeks ago and got stood up 2x by a potential buyer. In the end I felt she might have had a mental illness because her excuses were clearly fake. She would say "oops just leaving my house now, will be 10 minutes late". And then 3 hours later when she didn't show up I texted her asking her if everything was ok she said she had to make dinner
When I told her I was not available at another time she had the audacity to start telling me off and say I was being rude?! with today's technology, there is no reason why someone can't text, email or call you to inform you that they will be late, can't come or etc. I might have felt different if this was 20 plus years ago and our computer/phones were not in our pockets with us every where we went. Meaning we have full contact with the world.....
Unless they don't have a cell phone and in that case, that would be a whole different story.
Snowmom 11:37 AM 09-28-2016
Stood up twice?
She just told you exactly how valued you are...
You are not worth a phone call or text until it's convenient for her.
It doesn't matter what the excuse is. You now know you'd be last on her priority list.
Pass.
She just told you exactly how valued you are...
You are not worth a phone call or text until it's convenient for her.
It doesn't matter what the excuse is. You now know you'd be last on her priority list.
Pass.
knoxmomof2 07:53 PM 09-29-2016
I like Nannyde's idea : schedule the interview, then require them to call by noon the day of the interview to confirm. If no call, the interview is considered canceled. As someone who recently dealt with 2 no call/ no shows (1, I have a 2nd chance to and it didn't pan out) I need a better way to do things. I'm going to be doing this!