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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Toddler with Not Enough Clothes? Sorry, A Little Long...
jenny31052 01:42 PM 02-07-2012
I don't know how to approach this...
I have a good family, with a 15 months old girl that comes an average of 10 hours a day.
When we finalized the contract, I underlined that the child needs to come with a full change of clothes every day, just in case, and especially young babies, that spill, drool, and make a mess while eating.
I have the impression that this girl has no enough clothes at home. She never comes with a change of clothes. She still wearing 12 months stuff, that is obviously too small. She wears the same outfits more than one time a week. And they are the same clothes she was wearing 4 months ago, when she started.
Last week she had the same yellow fleece pants on for 3 days straight at drop off. While talking to Mom, she said that she couldn't wait for the weekend to laundry. I honestly think that this girl only has 3 or 4 pair of pants in her closet.
I am friend with the Mom on FB, and I have noticed that the girl wears the same things even when not here.
When it was 30 degrees in the morning, she was being dropped off with just a long sleeve white onesies. She didn't own a pair of shoes until a month ago. I asked to please bring a jacket, and shoes for outings to the park. For 2 days they failed to provide them, then finally, she came with a new fleece jacket, and new shoes (so I assumed they had to go and buy them).
One day she came in her PJ...
The parents both have good jobs, they drive nice cars, they like to buy the latest gadgets, and if they can afford my rates, then they should be able to afford clothes for their daughter.
Now, the questions I am asking myself are: either she has a few outfits for daycare (but, geez, if I ran out of daycare/play clothes mid-week, I don't mind sending my son to daycare with the nice ones for a few days, instead of letting him wear the same dirty pants for 3 days..).
Or, they don't care about making sure she has enough clothes, that fits, or they don't have the money...
One evening me and Mom were chatting about me having another baby, and I told her that I would love to a girl, so I can buy lots of cute little pink clothes... she looked at me with an half disgusted face, and she said: "ugh, it gets old! Don't worry!"
Now, I need the girl to come with a change of clothes. She is also very, very messy, and sometimes I need to change her more than one time a day.
I only have one pair of pants, and one t-shirt at my house, for her, that I wash at least 2-3 times a week, so she has at least one clean thing to wear.
I reminded the parents multiple, multiple times to bring a change of clothes, but once I have realized that she must not have much, I stopped asking, because I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, if truly, they can't afford the (but I do have my doubts...)
What would you do?
I have a good family, with a 15 months old girl that comes an average of 10 hours a day.
When we finalized the contract, I underlined that the child needs to come with a full change of clothes every day, just in case, and especially young babies, that spill, drool, and make a mess while eating.
I have the impression that this girl has no enough clothes at home. She never comes with a change of clothes. She still wearing 12 months stuff, that is obviously too small. She wears the same outfits more than one time a week. And they are the same clothes she was wearing 4 months ago, when she started.
Last week she had the same yellow fleece pants on for 3 days straight at drop off. While talking to Mom, she said that she couldn't wait for the weekend to laundry. I honestly think that this girl only has 3 or 4 pair of pants in her closet.
I am friend with the Mom on FB, and I have noticed that the girl wears the same things even when not here.
When it was 30 degrees in the morning, she was being dropped off with just a long sleeve white onesies. She didn't own a pair of shoes until a month ago. I asked to please bring a jacket, and shoes for outings to the park. For 2 days they failed to provide them, then finally, she came with a new fleece jacket, and new shoes (so I assumed they had to go and buy them).
One day she came in her PJ...
The parents both have good jobs, they drive nice cars, they like to buy the latest gadgets, and if they can afford my rates, then they should be able to afford clothes for their daughter.
Now, the questions I am asking myself are: either she has a few outfits for daycare (but, geez, if I ran out of daycare/play clothes mid-week, I don't mind sending my son to daycare with the nice ones for a few days, instead of letting him wear the same dirty pants for 3 days..).
Or, they don't care about making sure she has enough clothes, that fits, or they don't have the money...
One evening me and Mom were chatting about me having another baby, and I told her that I would love to a girl, so I can buy lots of cute little pink clothes... she looked at me with an half disgusted face, and she said: "ugh, it gets old! Don't worry!"
Now, I need the girl to come with a change of clothes. She is also very, very messy, and sometimes I need to change her more than one time a day.
I only have one pair of pants, and one t-shirt at my house, for her, that I wash at least 2-3 times a week, so she has at least one clean thing to wear.
I reminded the parents multiple, multiple times to bring a change of clothes, but once I have realized that she must not have much, I stopped asking, because I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, if truly, they can't afford the (but I do have my doubts...)
What would you do?
daycare 01:50 PM 02-07-2012
I require all children to have two full changes of clothing in their cubby boxes at all times. Parents are required to keep their childs supplies filled.
I have sent home a DCD who was told the day before your child needs wipes and diapers and another change of clothes. He did not have them the next day, so I sent them packing back to the house to get the stuff. Boy was he mad at me, but I didnt care, he was told and he knew the rules.
The dcm called me from work wanting to know why I did that and I told her how am I supposed to take care of your daughter if I don't have the supplies to do it. It is your responsibility to provide me with the required supplies, as well as to check your childs cubby box each friday and replenish it for the following week.
It never happened with this family ever again, but it did with another one and I did the same thing.
I would suggest adding this to policy or similar to your PHB....
best of luck to you and hope that this helped some
I have sent home a DCD who was told the day before your child needs wipes and diapers and another change of clothes. He did not have them the next day, so I sent them packing back to the house to get the stuff. Boy was he mad at me, but I didnt care, he was told and he knew the rules.
The dcm called me from work wanting to know why I did that and I told her how am I supposed to take care of your daughter if I don't have the supplies to do it. It is your responsibility to provide me with the required supplies, as well as to check your childs cubby box each friday and replenish it for the following week.
It never happened with this family ever again, but it did with another one and I did the same thing.
I would suggest adding this to policy or similar to your PHB....
best of luck to you and hope that this helped some
greenhouse 01:52 PM 02-07-2012
Next time she gets messy and there are no back up clothes-pick up the phone and tell dcm she needs to either bring a change of clothes or pick dcg up.
You will have extras from then on.
OR you could buy some thrift store outfits and keep them on hand, but do you really want to do that?
You will have extras from then on.
OR you could buy some thrift store outfits and keep them on hand, but do you really want to do that?
renodeb 02:01 PM 02-07-2012
Maybe she doesnt have many clothes. Maybe go to the thrift shop and buy a few things so she has something to change into. I keep spare clothes that Ive bought at second hand shops or other parents have left for changes out of self defense. Just make sure you label it as such so that they wont want to keep it!
Debbie
Debbie
Cat Herder 02:08 PM 02-07-2012
If they have nice clothes, cars, home and tech gadgets...but ONLY choose to not buy clothes for little one; WHY would you not want to make them feel uncomfortable? Society should make them feel uncomfortable for that.
Not being able to afford them is one thing (I'd just get her some, tell her family passed them down and they just happen to fit DCG), but to choose not to is not something I'd tolerate.
I'd send them home to get the change of clothing REQUIRED for daycare attendance. No different than if they forgot to bring diapers or formula.
Society should make them feel uncomfortable for that.Not being able to afford them is one thing (I'd just get her some, tell her family passed them down and they just happen to fit DCG), but to choose not to is not something I'd tolerate.
I'd send them home to get the change of clothing REQUIRED for daycare attendance. No different than if they forgot to bring diapers or formula.
cheerfuldom 04:30 PM 02-07-2012
No pay (and no clothes), no stay. Send one last reminder letting these parents know that children will not be admitted without the appropriate supplies. They will be sent home immediately with their child and cannot return until supplies are provided, end of story.
this is ridiculous considering you know for sure that these parents can afford it. It sounds like they have no desire to provide anything new for their child and unfortunately, they have to be forced to. shame on them.
this is ridiculous considering you know for sure that these parents can afford it. It sounds like they have no desire to provide anything new for their child and unfortunately, they have to be forced to. shame on them.
kayla 05:11 PM 02-07-2012
i have a kid at my daycare thats the same. 3 days in a row he wore the smae shirt that doesnt fit when i asked him on the third day why he was wearing it again he told me because he likes it. these parents also sent there 4 1/2 year old most of winter with a 24 mos jacket that barely covered his elbows, he finally is wearing one of his older brothers hand me downs because the other broke, mind u this jacket doesnt fit either... i seen there two older kids and they are in new jackets... i dont understand some ppl also he comes smelling like cigarettes so my opinion if u can buy cigarettes you can buy and wash your childs clothing
saved4always 06:05 PM 02-07-2012
I was going to say that maybe they do not have the money to buy their little girl clothing and don't have anyone who can give them hand-me-downs, but then you said they have nice cars and the latest electronics. It could be the parents are just that selfish that they don't see the point in buying clothes she will grow out of. If that is the case, I personally cannot understand that...I had 2 boys and then had a girl. I was certainly not tired of buying her clothing when she was only 15 mos old. She is 10 now and I still LOVE buying her girl clothes (she is the little shopper I always dreamed of...lol!). 
I guess I would just get some clothing at a resale shop or garage sale (although not many of those around here at this time of year) for the little girl so you can have peace of mind that it is there when you need it. I feel bad for her.
It could be the parents are just that selfish that they don't see the point in buying clothes she will grow out of. If that is the case, I personally cannot understand that...I had 2 boys and then had a girl. I was certainly not tired of buying her clothing when she was only 15 mos old. She is 10 now and I still LOVE buying her girl clothes (she is the little shopper I always dreamed of...lol!). I guess I would just get some clothing at a resale shop or garage sale (although not many of those around here at this time of year) for the little girl so you can have peace of mind that it is there when you need it. I feel bad for her.
nannyde 06:44 PM 02-07-2012
jenny31052 08:28 PM 02-07-2012
Thanks for the tips
I also feel bad for the little girl...
The interesting thing is that I have another girl of the same age in care, with a total opposite situation: she must have an outfit for each day of the month! I have never seen this girl wearing the same things twice! lol
She is so cute, and you can tell that Mom is enjoying having a little girl to dress up! I would probably do the same!
But, yeah.. ugh... I will have to make a decision... this family is actually pretty nice, they always pay on time, and they sure love their daughter.. which makes even harder to understand...
I also feel bad for the little girl...
The interesting thing is that I have another girl of the same age in care, with a total opposite situation: she must have an outfit for each day of the month! I have never seen this girl wearing the same things twice! lol
She is so cute, and you can tell that Mom is enjoying having a little girl to dress up! I would probably do the same!
But, yeah.. ugh... I will have to make a decision... this family is actually pretty nice, they always pay on time, and they sure love their daughter.. which makes even harder to understand...
Lilbutterflie 04:45 AM 02-08-2012
I have had experience with this; I would be willing to say that this family is a hoarding family. The inside of their house is probably like a disaster area; and clothes are thrown in piles never to be seen or washed again. I'm serious. It would explain why they seem to have money and nice cars; but their child has barely anything to wear.
Solandia 05:48 AM 02-08-2012
I have sweats, tshirts, turtlenecks,thick tights, zip pj's & hoodies, (and snowpants, boots, hats/mittens) of pretty much every other size.
I have some parents who have been really good about providing appriopriate backup clothes. I have had some parent who truly only have a week's worth of clothes for their child--so having an extra set of decent clothes realllly stretches the closet thin at home.
I am NOT going to have a power struggle over keeping too tight jeans or too short jacket at daycare b/c they refuse to buy sweatpants/pull on pants or only have one jacket that they 'forget' (or don't want ruined at daycare). Which I understand, I am not going to hover to make prevent every grass stain or mud patch on their clothes.
I have my extra clothes, because I am PICKY about the backup clothes, b/c if the child comes here in tight jeans & potty training, I can guarantee that mom is not going to bring sweats because they are too ugly to buy and waste money on. It is totally not worth the time and effort, for me, to make a picky clothes policy and then enforce, and everyone be irritated...all over a bunch of clothes I stockpiled worth about $5.
I have some parents who have been really good about providing appriopriate backup clothes. I have had some parent who truly only have a week's worth of clothes for their child--so having an extra set of decent clothes realllly stretches the closet thin at home.
I am NOT going to have a power struggle over keeping too tight jeans or too short jacket at daycare b/c they refuse to buy sweatpants/pull on pants or only have one jacket that they 'forget' (or don't want ruined at daycare). Which I understand, I am not going to hover to make prevent every grass stain or mud patch on their clothes.
I have my extra clothes, because I am PICKY about the backup clothes, b/c if the child comes here in tight jeans & potty training, I can guarantee that mom is not going to bring sweats because they are too ugly to buy and waste money on. It is totally not worth the time and effort, for me, to make a picky clothes policy and then enforce, and everyone be irritated...all over a bunch of clothes I stockpiled worth about $5.
BigMama 09:54 AM 02-08-2012
I obviously don't know the situation but maybe Mom and Dad look nice because they have to look nice for work? Maybe they are trying to get by by dressing her in hand-me-downs?
I once had a family that never brought spare clothes for their one year old daughter. They also didn't supply her with a winter coat until Feb. (we need these starting in Oct. up here). When mom finally brought in the coat she commented that she got it at the thrift store for less than $3. I thought that was strange at the time because mom always looked nice, drove a nice car, etc. It turns out this family was practically bankrupt and was just trying to get by. You just never know what is going on in people's personal lives. I am sure somewhere there are parents that just can't be bothered with supplying their child with proper items for child care/school, but I think for the most part parents do the best they can.
If the little girl is clean and otherwise groomed appropriately, I would do what other posters have said and buy a few things to keep around. If you are worried that they will forget to bring the clothes back maybe you could change her into a spare outfit when she arrives and put her own clothes back on before pick-up?
I once had a family that never brought spare clothes for their one year old daughter. They also didn't supply her with a winter coat until Feb. (we need these starting in Oct. up here). When mom finally brought in the coat she commented that she got it at the thrift store for less than $3. I thought that was strange at the time because mom always looked nice, drove a nice car, etc. It turns out this family was practically bankrupt and was just trying to get by. You just never know what is going on in people's personal lives. I am sure somewhere there are parents that just can't be bothered with supplying their child with proper items for child care/school, but I think for the most part parents do the best they can.
If the little girl is clean and otherwise groomed appropriately, I would do what other posters have said and buy a few things to keep around. If you are worried that they will forget to bring the clothes back maybe you could change her into a spare outfit when she arrives and put her own clothes back on before pick-up?
mrsp'slilpeeps 02:28 PM 02-08-2012
Or maybe she does have lots of clothes, they just choose to send her in those ones so her "Fancy" and nice outfits dont get ruined.
Just a thought!
Just a thought!