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Preschool/daycare teacher 08:08 PM 12-03-2015
I finally signed on a new child to fill one of my openings, and he is the exact age that I had been wanting (I prefer preschool age but was taking younger ones also just to get someone in). Anyway, today was his first day and he did great! He loved it here, didn't want to leave. And I really enjoyed the day with him here : )

But I'm getting red flags from dcm already. During the interview I said something about bringing pillow and blanket for nap time and she said, "Oh. You do nap time?" I replied yes and she said, "I don't know how that will go. At his old daycare he napped there and then couldn't go to sleep at night, but since he hasn't been there and he hasn't been napping he's goes to sleep with no problem". I let her know that he would have a nap time here and that I wasn't set up to be able to let one child stay up while the others slept, and that I believe nap time is really important for the children since we have such a busy morning, they have to be up so early, etc. She signed on knowing this, so I figured she accepting it.

Today she drops him off with his paper work and money and I'm just relieved to see the money in hand and don't think of anything else. Then she brings up the policies. She said, "I was a little concerned with your policies...You said you weren't licensed but your policies sound like the policies from a licensed daycare". I agree, tell her she's right, I'm license exempt, but I still have policies so everything runs smoothly and everyone knows what to expect from the other. Then she mentions my two week's notice policy, back steps and says, "which I have no problem with, but I was concerned that you can dump us with no notice". It's explained in my policies when I can do that, but I told her again and assured her that I would give a two week notice with the exception of those things.

After she's gone I go through the paperwork and realize she doesn't have the signed portion of my policies or the contract. And then I realize she also didn't bring his blanket and pillow OR a change of clothes, which I specifically asked for in my "what to bring the first day" list. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she may forgotten some of the items because I know on the first day there's a lot of stuff to remember to bring. Since she needed care to start immediately I wasn't able to have her bring the forms ahead of time. She also doesn't know when he will "officially" begin since today was just the orientation, but I was okay with that since I don't exactly have people standing in line.

Anyway, I figure when she contacts me again letting me know when he will officially be starting, I'll remind her to bring the signed policy portion, contract, nap items, and change of clothes. But I'm feeling like I'm going to have a rough time again with another parent...

He's been in daycare before, by the way, so I would have expected her to be used to this... She did leave on good terms it sounds like and only left because she lost her job.
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childcaremom 01:38 AM 12-04-2015
Do you go over your daily routine during the interview? I would def. be mentioning naps, esp with older children, and go over your policy on them. Non-negotiable, required, etc.

For dcps that like to complain about bedtime, I really have not found a perfect way to handle that. I have offered some bedtime tips, offered articles/books, etc, explained the need for daytime rest, etc. This can and has been a deal breaker for me. I don't watch children that no longer nap. This is a new policy for me and in place for dcps like this.

I also go over policies during the interview. They should not be a surprise NOW after she has signed and agree to follow them.

I would maybe offer one more sit down, go over any questions and concerns (do NOT budge on your policies, though) and then proceed. Once the sitdown is done, just refer her to your policies when she has any questions.
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Thriftylady 02:55 AM 12-04-2015
I would send an email or text saying something to the effect that "I will be unable to provide care without these items (list them)". If she comes without them, turn her away at the door. Sadly if you don't, she may just not bring them. Call me cynical, but it sounds like her way of getting out of signing to me.
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childcaremom 03:06 AM 12-04-2015
I missed where she hadn't signed....

No care until paperwork is complete.
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Preschool/daycare teacher 08:17 AM 12-04-2015
I don't want to just be distrustful of her, but after that one very difficult dcm I had and the stuff she pulled, I did a huge overhaul of my policies and I'm not willing to bend on them. It's the typical policies that any home childcare provider would have, so this dcm shouldn't be surprised by any of it. I also purposely brought up naps so dcm would be aware, and I told her the hours for it and all during the interview. She didn't seem a bit interested in any of the other parts of the routine. I almost wonder if by her not bringing everything I had told her to bring for him is her way of silently ignoring what she didn't like and doing it anyway. Like the fact she didn't want him to take naps here, so she just doesn't bring his nap items. Or she didn't agree with my policies so she just doesn't sign them and bring it with the contract.
Thank you for your input childcare mom and ThriftyLady. I will be sure to let her know the signed policy and contract is required and that he needs nap items and change of clothes to be able to stay. I'm scared to turn away a parent at the door because I don't want them to get mad and find somewhere else to bring their child or get a bad attitude toward me and then continue with the attitude. Like I said, families aren't exactly standing in line outside my door to get in here (I'm still new to this area so no one knows me yet. Plus I live in an apartment and that's a turn off to a lot of people). But I am also not willing to deal with a dcm who is going to fight me at every turn when she doesn't like the policy and deal with an attitude from them, so I am feeling hesitant toward this family wondering if they're going to be that type. Hopefully I am wrong and she really did just simply forget those items
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childcaremom 08:28 AM 12-04-2015
I've turned away. It was REALLY hard the first time. Like everything

I would head off any issues and email or call and tell her that she forgot xyz and that ALL forms will need to be signed at drop off on his next day. No exceptions.

Dcm has been told and reminded so it's now on her to be prepared. No excuse. "I'm sorry, dcm. Dcb needs these items for care today. You will have to go and get them before he is dropped off. All forms needs to be signed before a child is left in my care. Bye dcb, see you in a bit." Big smile. And close the door.

I know it's difficult when you are feeling the pinch for clients but this is a good time to practice enforcing your policies so that when you have a ton of parents to deal with, it will be much easier.

You don't want clients who won't follow your rules. Trust me on that! Set the tone right now for how the relationship should develop.

As BC would say, take the emotion out of it. Dcb needs x,y,z. If he shows up without it, he needs to go get it. You need paperwork. If dcm shows up without it, she needs to go and get it.

Good luck!
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daycarediva 09:03 AM 12-04-2015
I would send her an email...

Hi Dcm, I sent home new forms for you to sign. Dcb will also need X, Y, Z when he returns or I will be unable to provide care. Thank you


I would turn her away if she doesn't sign it or bring items.
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Ariana 11:05 AM 12-04-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I would send her an email...

Hi Dcm, I sent home new forms for you to sign. Dcb will also need X, Y, Z when he returns or I will be unable to provide care. Thank you


I would turn her away if she doesn't sign it or bring items.
This. Obviously her not signing is a HUGE red flag and she bet on the fact that you wouldn't catch it right away. Why sign some things but not others?

I have a family that was like this in the beginning. They didn't bother to read my contract and sent the kid sick, I turned her away at the door. Continued to show up late so now they are paying more $$ for the extra time. I just enforced and enforced and enforced. They aren't perfect but they are definitely better than they used to be and I'm getting compensated for their errors which is ok by me! It really is about a basic lack of respect for you as a provider. This family respects me much more now that I respect myself more.
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rosieteddy 02:40 PM 12-04-2015
What about having her sign forms at pick-up ?Then remind about missing items.Play it like she just forgot.If she fights you on it you decide what to do.
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daycare 03:05 PM 12-04-2015
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
I missed where she hadn't signed....

No care until paperwork is complete.
this.... i won't let anyone start without having all of my paper work 100% completed, cleared check, money in my account.

I would tell her at pick up, OH I noticed you forgot to sign this, hand her a pen and give her the paper as you stand and watch her sign it.
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Preschool/daycare teacher 07:19 PM 12-09-2015
Well, the red flags were right. I e-mailed dcm and let her know I would have to get the signed policy and contract before dcb could stay, so she texts me tonight (he was supposed to come tomorrow and Friday), and tells me they don't want me after all. She said they were looking over the contract again (which tells me they never did actually read the policy or look over the contract until just now at the last minute since they had to sign it for him to come). She told me "the forms are for a licensed daycare and you're not licensed" and they "just wanted someone to watch him, and it was a bonus that I provided preschool". But they don't like the policies and having to pay even if he's not here and he won't be coming anymore. I felt like saying, "see? This is exactly why I have to have policies in place. Parents drop me last second after I have already canceled plans, not made other plans, prepared the preschool lessons, bought or gathered up the supplies and materials needed, bought more groceries so I'd have enough food and snacks for him, etc. Work was already put into it, and a space saved for him. That's why we have to charge regardless of if the child actually shows up or not. We depend on getting paid just like the parents have to be able to rely on getting paid.
I know I wouldn't have wanted them anyway if they were going to be this way and cause problems all the time, but I hate it too because dcb was a perfect fit and I had really enjoyed having him when his mom was at orientation last week. I was excited to finally have a regularly attending preschool aged child and felt like maybe I was finally going to start getting some children in. It's hard to get preschool aged kids when I don't have any except the drop ins because the parents want them to have other kids to play with.
I am so discouraged. I won't change the fact that I provide a good quality program and try to stay up on the best developmentally appropriate teaching methods for young children or anything else that I offer, but it seems like the only parents out there are the ones who want "just a babysitter" that's super cheap and doesn't have any protection in place for if they decide to leave without paying or anything else they pull, and they don't care about the quality, the provider's experience, training or education, etc. They can sit them in front of the tv all day and just sit on their butt and do nothing for the kid, but they don't care as long as they're super cheap and don't have policies. The other set is the ones who want licensed daycare with several other children enrolled also. I provide as much if not more than the licensed daycares around here, but the parents looking for quality over look me too because my childcare isn't big enough (licensed daycares in my area can have 12 children for class 1 childcare, and 16 children for class 2. They can also combine two home childcares and have up to 32 children as long as there's a fire retardent wall between the daycare sections).
Sorry this was so long. I just needed to vent.
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childcaremom 12:44 AM 12-10-2015
I'm sorry she bailed.

Don't take it personally. There are always going to be people out there who don't appreciate what you do/offer. They are not the ones you want as clients, anyways.

Hopefully you can remake your plans and enjoy your day!
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NillaWafers 07:36 AM 12-10-2015
Don't be discouraged. There's a good family out there who wants excellent care and will be willing to agree to your policies.

I feel like having a handbook is more to keep me accountable than parents sometimes. If I didn't have it I'd be WAY too nice.
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Thriftylady 08:23 AM 12-10-2015
Try not to be to discouraged. I have been facing the same issues. I just interviewed another family last night. The mom has a job interview today so not sure but I think if she gets the job I will get them. It can be hard, but once you get the right families it will help. Taking the wrong ones just seems to make things worse in the long run.
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daycare 08:44 AM 12-10-2015
it's ok that you are too good for them...

you need the ones that are as equally good as you are!

with patience they will come.
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Preschool/daycare teacher 02:27 PM 12-10-2015
Thank you everyone. Sometimes I just feel silly even having policies and forms and all. It is uncommon for someone in my area to be unlicensed and yet have those. But I'm not willing to be a door mat, and I want parents to know from the start that I'm a professional and not just somebody who got laid off or fired and decided to do this until I can find a "real" job. Or as a way to just stay home with my kids (since I don't have any kids yet, which is also discouraging lol). I do this because I love working with children, teaching them, watching them grow, being a part of shaping their lives, spending time with them. But in order to not get burnt out because of the parents, I need policies and forms to cover my own behind.
Even my own sister thinks it's silly for me to be "so formal" about it. She "babysits" too, as she calls it, but she got lucky because she had a friend looking for childcare and her friend doesn't take advantage of her. Plus her friend has four kids and my sister has three, so she's automatically full with just one family and her own. I don't have friends or know anyone around here, so I have to start from scratch. I've always been in childcare. I started out babysitting as a teenager, moved on to childcare and an after school program, then teaching preschool, then teaching at a home daycare/preschool, provided care in my home for one child, then went to another daycare/preschool after she went to school. Then I got married and moved to a new area 45 minutes away and nobody knows me here. So for me if I'm going to do childcare, I'm going to do it right. And with my experience and training, I don't like it when family or friends call what I do "babysitting". I got paid more as a teenager babysitting! But to anyone else around here, you either provide "babysitting" or you provide "childcare" if you are licensed. The IRS doesn't care though. To them I am running a business
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Ariana 03:36 PM 12-10-2015
Bottom line is that she wanted "unlicensed" because she thought it meant she could call the shots, not pay when she is supposed to and otherwise take advantage of you. You really dodged a bullet with this one!! Another awesome kid will come your way, just focus on that
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auntymimi 07:08 AM 12-11-2015
I'm so sorry, and I completely understand your struggle! I either find great kids with shady parents, or great parents with "highly spirited" kids! I am lisenced but I feel like all my calls are fo super cheap babysitter or they want really odd hours, they want toddler worksheets and 'Your Baby Can Read!' Or all three!: I really believe that it will all work out eventually, but it's a struggle getting those first good families in the door. Sometimes I think of my rough ones,getting started, as paying my dues, ya know? I hope you get some great families soon, you sure sound like a great provider!
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Thriftylady 07:34 AM 12-11-2015
Originally Posted by Preschool/daycare teacher:
Thank you everyone. Sometimes I just feel silly even having policies and forms and all. It is uncommon for someone in my area to be unlicensed and yet have those. But I'm not willing to be a door mat, and I want parents to know from the start that I'm a professional and not just somebody who got laid off or fired and decided to do this until I can find a "real" job. Or as a way to just stay home with my kids (since I don't have any kids yet, which is also discouraging lol). I do this because I love working with children, teaching them, watching them grow, being a part of shaping their lives, spending time with them. But in order to not get burnt out because of the parents, I need policies and forms to cover my own behind.
Even my own sister thinks it's silly for me to be "so formal" about it. She "babysits" too, as she calls it, but she got lucky because she had a friend looking for childcare and her friend doesn't take advantage of her. Plus her friend has four kids and my sister has three, so she's automatically full with just one family and her own. I don't have friends or know anyone around here, so I have to start from scratch. I've always been in childcare. I started out babysitting as a teenager, moved on to childcare and an after school program, then teaching preschool, then teaching at a home daycare/preschool, provided care in my home for one child, then went to another daycare/preschool after she went to school. Then I got married and moved to a new area 45 minutes away and nobody knows me here. So for me if I'm going to do childcare, I'm going to do it right. And with my experience and training, I don't like it when family or friends call what I do "babysitting". I got paid more as a teenager babysitting! But to anyone else around here, you either provide "babysitting" or you provide "childcare" if you are licensed. The IRS doesn't care though. To them I am running a business
I am also unlicensed. I have a handbook and contract also. I had a dad pay my enrollment fee last week and then contact me and tell he he wouldn't sign the contract. To me, that just means he wanted to not follow it, so good riddance. Being unlicensed does not make us any less a business. Stay true to yourself in this! It took me a year and a half to get two families, but they have been worth the wait.
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daycare 07:52 AM 12-11-2015
tell your potential clients what you told us here: of course reword it:

I'm a professional and not just somebody who got laid off or fired and decided to do this until I can find a "real" job. Or as a way to just stay home with my kids. I do this because I love working with children, teaching them, watching them grow, being a part of shaping their lives, spending time with them. But in order to not get burnt out because of the parents, I need policies and forms to cover my own behind.

I go over my stuff and I am sure I sound like a crazy woman, so I tell them while all of this is very formal,it's necessary to have a successful program.

I am sure if you find a way to say, yes I am not licensed, but I do run a preschool program and in order for it to run successfully, this is what is necessary to do so. or something like this.
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