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kitkat 08:16 AM 09-20-2016
Dcg, 3yrs 4mths, just started yesterday. Dcg is potty training. When we use the bathroom, we always sing ABCs as we wash hands. Since yesterday was her first day, I sang with her. Today I told her to sing as she washed and she refused-she did sing yesterday. I offered to have her do a different song and she refused. She told me to do it. She is very head strong and a bit wild, so I need to stay firm. Anyone have any tips on how to get her on board?
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Leigh 08:36 AM 09-20-2016
Originally Posted by kitkat:
Dcg, 3yrs 4mths, just started yesterday. Dcg is potty training. When we use the bathroom, we always sing ABCs as we wash hands. Since yesterday was her first day, I sang with her. Today I told her to sing as she washed and she refused-she did sing yesterday. I offered to have her do a different song and she refused. She told me to do it. She is very head strong and a bit wild, so I need to stay firm. Anyone have any tips on how to get her on board?
Use a timer instead? That way, YOU have control over the timer and the situation. Set the timer and tell her to wash until it's done.
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daycare 08:42 AM 09-20-2016
being so new maybe she is just shy. I would just do it for her until she feels comfortable enough to sing along with you.

I like the timer idea too...
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kitkat 08:50 AM 09-20-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Use a timer instead? That way, YOU have control over the timer and the situation. Set the timer and tell her to wash until it's done.
Timer should work. I think it's definitely a control thing.

Originally Posted by daycare:
being so new maybe she is just shy. I would just do it for her until she feels comfortable enough to sing along with you.

I like the timer idea too...
Being shy was my first thought also, but she is anything but
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Blackcat31 09:04 AM 09-20-2016
I'd set a timer then.

Otherwise for ANY behavior a child resists or insists upon doing/having based on control issues are things the other kids are rewarded for.

For example if you required all the kids to sing while washing and she refused, I'd reward those that complied and not say one word to her.

Sooner or later (later for those stubborn ones ) they usually get on board.
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Leigh 09:25 AM 09-20-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd set a timer then.

Otherwise for ANY behavior a child resists or insists upon doing/having based on control issues are things the other kids are rewarded for.

For example if you required all the kids to sing while washing and she refused, I'd reward those that complied and not say one word to her.

Sooner or later (later for those stubborn ones ) they usually get on board.
You'd given this advice for other things in the past, and it does work! My kids had been out of the habit of listening when I told them it was time to pick up. ONE child picked up the toys one day recently. Only one. I let him do it all, and while he was working, I made him a big treat bag to take home with stickers, fruit snacks, and other things he loved. As soon as he was done, he got fruit snacks for a reward and I handed him to bag to take home I told him how PROUD of him I was that he followed directions, and apologized to him that he had to do it himself. I had the other kids apologize to him, as well. Then, they ALL wanted the treats, but I told them they were for kids who picked up that day. Lots of moping that afternoon for a while, but toys have been picked up since then.
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Blackcat31 09:35 AM 09-20-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
You'd given this advice for other things in the past, and it does work! My kids had been out of the habit of listening when I told them it was time to pick up. ONE child picked up the toys one day recently. Only one. I let him do it all, and while he was working, I made him a big treat bag to take home with stickers, fruit snacks, and other things he loved. As soon as he was done, he got fruit snacks for a reward and I handed him to bag to take home I told him how PROUD of him I was that he followed directions, and apologized to him that he had to do it himself. I had the other kids apologize to him, as well. Then, they ALL wanted the treats, but I told them they were for kids who picked up that day. Lots of moping that afternoon for a while, but toys have been picked up since then.
All the others "always" notice and will suddenly be willing to pick up or do X. I let them.

Then I will inevitably hear, "Ok, Miss BC, we picked up... do we get a treat now?" and I always say "Oh, no treats are given when it's clean up time and you just do it because it's the right thing to do, NOT because you think I am giving you a treat." Or I will say something like "Oh, treats are surprises only" Or "If you ask, the answer is no"


They all learn fairly quickly that treats are never planned, never consistent and only when I decide they are needed.

Keeps them all on their toes.

I am sure my "golden kids" love when someone else is not complying. They always get the benefits/rewards of someone else's unwanted behaviors.
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thrivingchildcarecom 09:41 AM 09-20-2016
I think you should just sing it for her now while she is adjusting. I think she will get on board eventually.
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kitkat 10:14 AM 09-20-2016
Little stinker happily sang the next two times! This one is going to be a handful...
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