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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>CIO 7-Mos.-Old
EntropyControlSpecialist 09:24 AM 04-16-2014
Please, for the love of God, tell me what you know about teaching an almost 8-month-old to SLEEP. My child is attachment parented. We weaned her off sleeping ON a parent, because it was irritating, at night but if she isn't in the bed where she can roll over to touch you and make sure you are there then she only sleeps 30-60 min. Naptime is even worse! To get her to sleep now is plain straight ridiculous and includes arched back screaming while being rocked until she falls asleep OR simply falling asleep eating because she was so crazy. If you put her down she wakes in 10 minutes!!!
I am going to pull my hair out. This is insanity. I wanted her to feel like her needs were met and she wasn't abandoned in a crib but now I feel trapped by horrendous sleeping habits. I had so many people telling me the negatives of CIO and I know there are many advocates here. Please tell me what you know...tell me I won't damage her ability to REALLY trust by doing it...
I am going to pull my hair out. This is insanity. I wanted her to feel like her needs were met and she wasn't abandoned in a crib but now I feel trapped by horrendous sleeping habits. I had so many people telling me the negatives of CIO and I know there are many advocates here. Please tell me what you know...tell me I won't damage her ability to REALLY trust by doing it...
Cradle2crayons 09:32 AM 04-16-2014
Parents of my newer 22 month old are needing the same help. They want the girl out of the bed... But they don't want to do harm either. She was a heart baby and after she got well the parents couldn't get her out of te bed.
We had the same issue with my now 11 year old. We did CIO with her. The first week is hardest. But we found cold turkey and sticking to our guns were what we had to do. She isn't damaged if that makes you feel better?
We had the same issue with my now 11 year old. We did CIO with her. The first week is hardest. But we found cold turkey and sticking to our guns were what we had to do. She isn't damaged if that makes you feel better?
gracepatiencelove 09:34 AM 04-16-2014
I don't know. I do know that I am in a similar situation and I am very anti CIO but I cannot ignore everyone else to constantly please my 7mo dcg. I feel bad when she cries but idk what else to do. She is dry, fed, not sick, moderate temp...
I'm roughing this out til schools out so...
Following
I'm roughing this out til schools out so...
Following
EntropyControlSpecialist 09:42 AM 04-16-2014
She is totally fine around the kids. It is the sleeping BATTLE that is killing me! I think I will start it tomorrow so that we have the 3 day weekend on our side. What do I do?! How do I do it?!? She is really stubborn.
Mine didn't have any issues at birth...she was just my first live baby out of 4 so I enjoyed the snuggling. Still do but the sleep battle is getting to be horrible and I could really benefit from a child that will nap on her own!!!
If she was over 1 I wouldn't even be worried since she was out of infancy. Ugh.
Mine didn't have any issues at birth...she was just my first live baby out of 4 so I enjoyed the snuggling. Still do but the sleep battle is getting to be horrible and I could really benefit from a child that will nap on her own!!!
If she was over 1 I wouldn't even be worried since she was out of infancy. Ugh.
spinnymarie 09:47 AM 04-16-2014
If you REALLY want to get her out of your bed immediately, I'd look into the Ferber method, as it seems easier on parents 
My own two-year old comes into our bed around midnight every night - but I've found that the closer the get to three years old, the less they wake all the way up from sleep and the easier it is for them to self soothe and go back to sleep on their own.
I do it out of pure laziness - I am not prepared to go in to her room 17 times a night, nor am I prepared to let her cry.
My older two simply stopped coming in when they go to be about 3
My own two-year old comes into our bed around midnight every night - but I've found that the closer the get to three years old, the less they wake all the way up from sleep and the easier it is for them to self soothe and go back to sleep on their own.
I do it out of pure laziness - I am not prepared to go in to her room 17 times a night, nor am I prepared to let her cry.
My older two simply stopped coming in when they go to be about 3
EntropyControlSpecialist 09:49 AM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by spinnymarie:
If you REALLY want to get her out of your bed immediately, I'd look into the Ferber method, as it seems easier on parents
My own two-year old comes into our bed around midnight every night - but I've found that the closer the get to three years old, the less they wake all the way up from sleep and the easier it is for them to self soothe and go back to sleep on their own.
I do it out of pure laziness - I am not prepared to go in to her room 17 times a night, nor am I prepared to let her cry.
My older two simply stopped coming in when they go to be about 3
Nighttime sleep doesn't bug me. I guess it is just the process and the fact that she won't nap unless she is being held or worn in an ergo or wrap. Ahhh.If you REALLY want to get her out of your bed immediately, I'd look into the Ferber method, as it seems easier on parents
My own two-year old comes into our bed around midnight every night - but I've found that the closer the get to three years old, the less they wake all the way up from sleep and the easier it is for them to self soothe and go back to sleep on their own.
I do it out of pure laziness - I am not prepared to go in to her room 17 times a night, nor am I prepared to let her cry.
My older two simply stopped coming in when they go to be about 3
cheerfuldom 09:57 AM 04-16-2014
I think the key to sleep training is learning to distinguish the cries of your child. Is your child truly suffering or is it an angry "give me what I want right NOW" type of cry? You will have to learn to say no to the spoiled crying and know when to intervene and when to be hands off. It takes time but the biggest factor in success is consistency. Stick to your nap routine, stick to your nap time frame. Put your child to sleep the same place the same way the same time every single day. Dont get emotionally involved in the screaming meaning keep your cool. Dont go in until you can be calm and consistent. If you are not ready to do that, then just let your child do whatever they want because inconsistency is really confusing to a child and just makes it worse. I believe that is what makes a child feel abandoned....when they are dumped somewhere at random and are confused about what is happening. If it is a part of your routine and you are doing this because your child NEEDS to sleep and are considering her needs versus her wants.....that is not abandoning, that is parenting. Just because a child is crying, does not make it CIO, in my opinion. One place to start would be here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/12...-eileen-henry/
and here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09...babies-crying/
and you also have to consider if wearing for naps and co sleeping is really working for you anymore. Just because she is passing out by night time does not mean that the whole picture of co sleeping is right for your family at this time.
and here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09...babies-crying/
and you also have to consider if wearing for naps and co sleeping is really working for you anymore. Just because she is passing out by night time does not mean that the whole picture of co sleeping is right for your family at this time.
debbiedoeszip 09:58 AM 04-16-2014
Will she nap next to you, as in on a couch with you sitting on same couch? Maybe with you patting or rubbing her back as she falls asleep.
My DS, at that age, would sometimes fall asleep on the living room carpet (only him and I at home at the time) if I got busy and missed his *I need a nap* cues. I'd just cover him up and let him sleep where he lay.
My DS, at that age, would sometimes fall asleep on the living room carpet (only him and I at home at the time) if I got busy and missed his *I need a nap* cues. I'd just cover him up and let him sleep where he lay.
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:12 AM 04-16-2014
She is queen of angry crying. She is stubborn so beingh patted to sleep is laughable! She would be enraged. 
NO, much of this does NOT work for us any longer.
NO, much of this does NOT work for us any longer.
mountainside13 10:34 AM 04-16-2014
A little out there but try a pack n play and make your bed level to the pack n play. Either by taking out the frame or just laying the mattress on the floor. Then have the pnp right next to your side of the bed. She will be very close to you, see you and feel comfort. Then every few nights move the pnp a little farther away. I had to do this with my youngest. Good luck! It's hard! He didn't sleep through the night until around 20 months 
Hollydawn 11:25 AM 04-16-2014
Your little one and my Leo could be friends.
He is nine months and only sleeps when held or in bed with me. He also nurses a billion times per night.
He is my third. I parented my first two much the same but they were not like this guy. When I attempt to lay him down while he's asleep, he wakes up and screams like it's his job.
Fortunately, for him I am soft and will just ride it out until it passes or until he's older. I did a modified CIO with my middle son but not until he was almost two.
If you're comfortable with it, CIO will be your best bet.
Good luck!
He is nine months and only sleeps when held or in bed with me. He also nurses a billion times per night.
He is my third. I parented my first two much the same but they were not like this guy. When I attempt to lay him down while he's asleep, he wakes up and screams like it's his job.
Fortunately, for him I am soft and will just ride it out until it passes or until he's older. I did a modified CIO with my middle son but not until he was almost two.
If you're comfortable with it, CIO will be your best bet.
Good luck!
NightOwl 11:41 AM 04-16-2014
Ok I'll be the devil's advocate on this one. I'm agreeing with the CIO, but not so much on the he/she WON'T sleep unless....
Yes, they will. It's us, the adults, who give in and then say my baby won't sleep unless... They may CIO, they may do it for hours, but in many cases, this is simply a war of the wills. Who's willing to hold out longer? You or your baby? It's almost always the baby because us moms are A1 suckers and can't stand to think our baby is unhappy. If they CIO long enough, they WILL go to sleep. It's biologically impossible not to. And before anyone takes offense, know that my 5.5 year old still sleeps right between my husband and I every single night, even though I know how I could end it. But I don't, because I'm also a sucker. Lol.
Yes, they will. It's us, the adults, who give in and then say my baby won't sleep unless... They may CIO, they may do it for hours, but in many cases, this is simply a war of the wills. Who's willing to hold out longer? You or your baby? It's almost always the baby because us moms are A1 suckers and can't stand to think our baby is unhappy. If they CIO long enough, they WILL go to sleep. It's biologically impossible not to. And before anyone takes offense, know that my 5.5 year old still sleeps right between my husband and I every single night, even though I know how I could end it. But I don't, because I'm also a sucker. Lol.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:45 AM 04-16-2014
I will bring out the travel pack n play again but over ight she just doesn't get much sleep in it. I have tried. Is it possible to have her sleep in a crib or pack n play during the day and co-sleep at night or bad idea?
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:46 AM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Ok I'll be the devil's advocate on this one. I'm agreeing with the CIO, but not so much on the he/she WON'T sleep unless....
Yes, they will. It's us, the adults, who give in and then say my baby won't sleep unless... They may CIO, they may do it for hours, but in many cases, this is simply a war of the wills. Who's willing to hold out longer? You or your baby? It's almost always the baby because us moms are A1 suckers and can't stand to think our baby is unhappy. If they CIO long enough, they WILL go to sleep. It's biologically impossible not to. And before anyone takes offense, know that my 5.5 year old still sleeps right between my husband and I every single night, even though I know how I could end it. But I don't, because I'm also a sucker. Lol.
She just wakes so often it is miserable at night!Ok I'll be the devil's advocate on this one. I'm agreeing with the CIO, but not so much on the he/she WON'T sleep unless....
Yes, they will. It's us, the adults, who give in and then say my baby won't sleep unless... They may CIO, they may do it for hours, but in many cases, this is simply a war of the wills. Who's willing to hold out longer? You or your baby? It's almost always the baby because us moms are A1 suckers and can't stand to think our baby is unhappy. If they CIO long enough, they WILL go to sleep. It's biologically impossible not to. And before anyone takes offense, know that my 5.5 year old still sleeps right between my husband and I every single night, even though I know how I could end it. But I don't, because I'm also a sucker. Lol.
debbiedoeszip 11:49 AM 04-16-2014
I did CIO with my DS when he was about 4 months old. It took about a week, with each night becoming easier/quicker than the one before.
My technique was to have a nightime routine of bath, bottle, and cuddles before actual bedtime. At bedtime, I'd take him up, give him a hug and kiss, lie him down and cover him up, say good night and leave the room. Then I'd wait for him to start crying. After 5 minutes of crying (which is an eternity, btw), I'd go back in, make no eye contact, use no words, and simply lie him back down, cover him up, and leave again. Lather, rinse, repeat after every 5 minutes of crying (sometimes he'd be quiet for 10 minutes before crying again, but I always waited until he'd been crying for a full 5 minutes to go back in and resettle him). If he was quiet for 10 minutes, then cried for 3 minutes, then stopped, then started crying again, I'd still wait for 5 minutes of sustained crying before going back in. If it was coming up on five minutes but he sounded like he was almost cried out (the crying was winding way down), I'd consider not going in right away and maybe wait an extra minute before going back in.
Like I said, it took about a week until crying at bedtime became about 20 seconds of half-hearted fussing followed by quiet and sleep. We still had a very close bond and he seemed to trust me every bit as much as any other child trusted their parent (especially the primary caregiver). It wasn't the easiest bit of parenting I've done, but it's by far not the hardest, and DS seemed unharmed by it.
Now these teen years, OTOH. Not sure if DS and I will both live through them LOL.
My technique was to have a nightime routine of bath, bottle, and cuddles before actual bedtime. At bedtime, I'd take him up, give him a hug and kiss, lie him down and cover him up, say good night and leave the room. Then I'd wait for him to start crying. After 5 minutes of crying (which is an eternity, btw), I'd go back in, make no eye contact, use no words, and simply lie him back down, cover him up, and leave again. Lather, rinse, repeat after every 5 minutes of crying (sometimes he'd be quiet for 10 minutes before crying again, but I always waited until he'd been crying for a full 5 minutes to go back in and resettle him). If he was quiet for 10 minutes, then cried for 3 minutes, then stopped, then started crying again, I'd still wait for 5 minutes of sustained crying before going back in. If it was coming up on five minutes but he sounded like he was almost cried out (the crying was winding way down), I'd consider not going in right away and maybe wait an extra minute before going back in.
Like I said, it took about a week until crying at bedtime became about 20 seconds of half-hearted fussing followed by quiet and sleep. We still had a very close bond and he seemed to trust me every bit as much as any other child trusted their parent (especially the primary caregiver). It wasn't the easiest bit of parenting I've done, but it's by far not the hardest, and DS seemed unharmed by it.
Now these teen years, OTOH. Not sure if DS and I will both live through them LOL.
Jack Sprat 11:55 AM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I think the key to sleep training is learning to distinguish the cries of your child. Is your child truly suffering or is it an angry "give me what I want right NOW" type of cry? You will have to learn to say no to the spoiled crying and know when to intervene and when to be hands off. It takes time but the biggest factor in success is consistency. Stick to your nap routine, stick to your nap time frame. Put your child to sleep the same place the same way the same time every single day. Dont get emotionally involved in the screaming meaning keep your cool. Dont go in until you can be calm and consistent. If you are not ready to do that, then just let your child do whatever they want because inconsistency is really confusing to a child and just makes it worse. I believe that is what makes a child feel abandoned....when they are dumped somewhere at random and are confused about what is happening. If it is a part of your routine and you are doing this because your child NEEDS to sleep and are considering her needs versus her wants.....that is not abandoning, that is parenting. Just because a child is crying, does not make it CIO, in my opinion. One place to start would be here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/12...-eileen-henry/
and here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09...babies-crying/
and you also have to consider if wearing for naps and co sleeping is really working for you anymore. Just because she is passing out by night time does not mean that the whole picture of co sleeping is right for your family at this time.
I think the key to sleep training is learning to distinguish the cries of your child. Is your child truly suffering or is it an angry "give me what I want right NOW" type of cry? You will have to learn to say no to the spoiled crying and know when to intervene and when to be hands off. It takes time but the biggest factor in success is consistency. Stick to your nap routine, stick to your nap time frame. Put your child to sleep the same place the same way the same time every single day. Dont get emotionally involved in the screaming meaning keep your cool. Dont go in until you can be calm and consistent. If you are not ready to do that, then just let your child do whatever they want because inconsistency is really confusing to a child and just makes it worse. I believe that is what makes a child feel abandoned....when they are dumped somewhere at random and are confused about what is happening. If it is a part of your routine and you are doing this because your child NEEDS to sleep and are considering her needs versus her wants.....that is not abandoning, that is parenting. Just because a child is crying, does not make it CIO, in my opinion. One place to start would be here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/12...-eileen-henry/
and here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09...babies-crying/
and you also have to consider if wearing for naps and co sleeping is really working for you anymore. Just because she is passing out by night time does not mean that the whole picture of co sleeping is right for your family at this time.
I don't like CIO either. However! I do like nap time. I have a dcg who is 13 months and sleeps with her parents, naps on mommy on the couch. They are expecting a baby at the end of May. This baby will attend daycare with big sis starting in July. I use CIO with dcg now. I HATE it! But, let me say this. The first week she cried for 20 minutes before sleeping for 30, the second week she cried 15 minutes and then slept for 45 minutes, the third week she cried 15 minutes and slept two hours. She isn't here everyday and this makes it rough. Everything I do gets undone when she is gone. But, she is getting there. Today, she cried for 5 minutes and slept 20. She pooped so I went in said nothing changed her and laid her back down. She cried well, really screamed and is now talking to her baby doll. I hope this is all sorted out before the baby comes. I am also hoping the family brings her or its going to suck when the newborn and her both are here. lol!
Unregistered 11:58 AM 04-16-2014
I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!
LeslieG 11:59 AM 04-16-2014
I have a 6 month old dcg that would only fall asleep if I rocked her in my arms. I would go in and rock her back to sleep every time she woke up. Once I started doing that, it just got worse. I would go in and rock her and then I would try to put a sleeping baby back in her crib but of course she would wake up (if not the second I put her back in her crib, then in 10-15 minutes). I couldn't do it anymore.. I was going crazy and I NEEDED my break at nap time!!
I tried cio, but that didn't work with her.
So I just started this method about a week ago, so I don't know if it will work long term or not. When she wakes up crying I go in there and pick her up. I do not rock or sway her.. I just hold her. I don't talk and hardly make any eye contact at all. I hold her for only 2-3 minutes max because I don't want her to fall asleep in my arms. I just want her to see that I'm there and calm her down. (If, while I'm holding her she arches her back or continues screaming, then I just set her down in her crib and walk away.) After 2-3 minutes of holding her, I put her back in her crib. Surprisingly, she will usually fall right back asleep on her own.
There have been days were I had to go in there 3 times in a row, and I decided after 3 times, I would just let her cio a little bit. She'll usually cry for about 10-15 minutes and then she's out.
I don't know.. I'm still trying this method out, but I just thought I'd share!! Hope it gets better
I tried cio, but that didn't work with her.
So I just started this method about a week ago, so I don't know if it will work long term or not. When she wakes up crying I go in there and pick her up. I do not rock or sway her.. I just hold her. I don't talk and hardly make any eye contact at all. I hold her for only 2-3 minutes max because I don't want her to fall asleep in my arms. I just want her to see that I'm there and calm her down. (If, while I'm holding her she arches her back or continues screaming, then I just set her down in her crib and walk away.) After 2-3 minutes of holding her, I put her back in her crib. Surprisingly, she will usually fall right back asleep on her own.
There have been days were I had to go in there 3 times in a row, and I decided after 3 times, I would just let her cio a little bit. She'll usually cry for about 10-15 minutes and then she's out.
I don't know.. I'm still trying this method out, but I just thought I'd share!! Hope it gets better
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:10 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by debbiedoeszip:
I did CIO with my DS when he was about 4 months old. It took about a week, with each night becoming easier/quicker than the one before.
My technique was to have a nightime routine of bath, bottle, and cuddles before actual bedtime. At bedtime, I'd take him up, give him a hug and kiss, lie him down and cover him up, say good night and leave the room. Then I'd wait for him to start crying. After 5 minutes of crying (which is an eternity, btw), I'd go back in, make no eye contact, use no words, and simply lie him back down, cover him up, and leave again. Lather, rinse, repeat after every 5 minutes of crying (sometimes he'd be quiet for 10 minutes before crying again, but I always waited until he'd been crying for a full 5 minutes to go back in and resettle him). If he was quiet for 10 minutes, then cried for 3 minutes, then stopped, then started crying again, I'd still wait for 5 minutes of sustained crying before going back in. If it was coming up on five minutes but he sounded like he was almost cried out (the crying was winding way down), I'd consider not going in right away and maybe wait an extra minute before going back in.
Like I said, it took about a week until crying at bedtime became about 20 seconds of half-hearted fussing followed by quiet and sleep. We still had a very close bond and he seemed to trust me every bit as much as any other child trusted their parent (especially the primary caregiver). It wasn't the easiest bit of parenting I've done, but it's by far not the hardest, and DS seemed unharmed by it.
Now these teen years, OTOH. Not sure if DS and I will both live through them LOL.
I have an almost 18yo (adopted if it is confusing that the baby is my first baby) and I have let him have many a tantrum without any worry at all I did CIO with my DS when he was about 4 months old. It took about a week, with each night becoming easier/quicker than the one before.
My technique was to have a nightime routine of bath, bottle, and cuddles before actual bedtime. At bedtime, I'd take him up, give him a hug and kiss, lie him down and cover him up, say good night and leave the room. Then I'd wait for him to start crying. After 5 minutes of crying (which is an eternity, btw), I'd go back in, make no eye contact, use no words, and simply lie him back down, cover him up, and leave again. Lather, rinse, repeat after every 5 minutes of crying (sometimes he'd be quiet for 10 minutes before crying again, but I always waited until he'd been crying for a full 5 minutes to go back in and resettle him). If he was quiet for 10 minutes, then cried for 3 minutes, then stopped, then started crying again, I'd still wait for 5 minutes of sustained crying before going back in. If it was coming up on five minutes but he sounded like he was almost cried out (the crying was winding way down), I'd consider not going in right away and maybe wait an extra minute before going back in.
Like I said, it took about a week until crying at bedtime became about 20 seconds of half-hearted fussing followed by quiet and sleep. We still had a very close bond and he seemed to trust me every bit as much as any other child trusted their parent (especially the primary caregiver). It wasn't the easiest bit of parenting I've done, but it's by far not the hardest, and DS seemed unharmed by it.
Now these teen years, OTOH. Not sure if DS and I will both live through them LOL.
. Teen years suck. No nice way to put that!
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:12 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by LeslieG:
I have a 6 month old dcg that would only fall asleep if I rocked her in my arms. I would go in and rock her back to sleep every time she woke up. Once I started doing that, it just got worse. I would go in and rock her and then I would try to put a sleeping baby back in her crib but of course she would wake up (if not the second I put her back in her crib, then in 10-15 minutes). I couldn't do it anymore.. I was going crazy and I NEEDED my break at nap time!!
I tried cio, but that didn't work with her.
So I just started this method about a week ago, so I don't know if it will work long term or not. When she wakes up crying I go in there and pick her up. I do not rock or sway her.. I just hold her. I don't talk and hardly make any eye contact at all. I hold her for only 2-3 minutes max because I don't want her to fall asleep in my arms. I just want her to see that I'm there and calm her down. (If, while I'm holding her she arches her back or continues screaming, then I just set her down in her crib and walk away.) After 2-3 minutes of holding her, I put her back in her crib. Surprisingly, she will usually fall right back asleep on her own.
There have been days were I had to go in there 3 times in a row, and I decided after 3 times, I would just let her cio a little bit. She'll usually cry for about 10-15 minutes and then she's out.
I don't know.. I'm still trying this method out, but I just thought I'd share!! Hope it gets better
I will keep this in mind, too!!! I am starting something tom night so all stories are super helpful!I have a 6 month old dcg that would only fall asleep if I rocked her in my arms. I would go in and rock her back to sleep every time she woke up. Once I started doing that, it just got worse. I would go in and rock her and then I would try to put a sleeping baby back in her crib but of course she would wake up (if not the second I put her back in her crib, then in 10-15 minutes). I couldn't do it anymore.. I was going crazy and I NEEDED my break at nap time!!
I tried cio, but that didn't work with her.
So I just started this method about a week ago, so I don't know if it will work long term or not. When she wakes up crying I go in there and pick her up. I do not rock or sway her.. I just hold her. I don't talk and hardly make any eye contact at all. I hold her for only 2-3 minutes max because I don't want her to fall asleep in my arms. I just want her to see that I'm there and calm her down. (If, while I'm holding her she arches her back or continues screaming, then I just set her down in her crib and walk away.) After 2-3 minutes of holding her, I put her back in her crib. Surprisingly, she will usually fall right back asleep on her own.
There have been days were I had to go in there 3 times in a row, and I decided after 3 times, I would just let her cio a little bit. She'll usually cry for about 10-15 minutes and then she's out.
I don't know.. I'm still trying this method out, but I just thought I'd share!! Hope it gets better
Jack Sprat 12:16 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!
I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!
Funny thing is the parents are totally on board with the way I am doing it. DCD wants to do it at home. DCM not so much. I know how she feels it is hard. But, it will be much harder when baby gets here and no one is sleeping well. I update her a lot with our progress hoping she will jump on board at home.
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:18 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!
I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!
Well, this is my kid so I can control everything except her crazy self. Truly, so strong willed.
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:19 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by Jack Sprat:
Funny thing is the parents are totally on board with the way I am doing it. DCD wants to do it at home. DCM not so much. I know how she feels it is hard. But, it will be much harder when baby gets here and no one is sleeping well. I update her a lot with our progress hoping she will jump on board at home.
If a daycare was doing this I would have no issue doing it at home, too. I would feel WORSE for confusing my poor child causing them to have freak outs at naptime every daycare day!! Funny thing is the parents are totally on board with the way I am doing it. DCD wants to do it at home. DCM not so much. I know how she feels it is hard. But, it will be much harder when baby gets here and no one is sleeping well. I update her a lot with our progress hoping she will jump on board at home.
debbiedoeszip 12:20 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I have an almost 18yo (adopted if it is confusing that the baby is my first baby) and I have let him have many a tantrum without any worry at all. Teen years suck. No nice way to put that!
DS will be 17 in a week. I'm pretty happy to be almost "done". Yes, they do suck LOL.I have an almost 18yo (adopted if it is confusing that the baby is my first baby) and I have let him have many a tantrum without any worry at all
. Teen years suck. No nice way to put that!
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:21 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by debbiedoeszip:
DS will be 17 in a week. I'm pretty happy to be almost "done". Yes, they do suck LOL.
Mine will be 18 in 2, how funny!! Yes ALMOST DONE!!!!!!!!! Praise Jesus! I am pulling my hair out with both crazies.DS will be 17 in a week. I'm pretty happy to be almost "done". Yes, they do suck LOL.
debbiedoeszip 12:24 PM 04-16-2014
<<<<I am pulling my hair out with both crazies.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
No doubt! I would be too.
No doubt! I would be too.
Jack Sprat 12:39 PM 04-16-2014
Our DD just turned 12. We are pulling our hair out now and will be bald by the time she is 18! lol
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:52 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by Jack Sprat:
Our DD just turned 12. We are pulling our hair out now and will be bald by the time she is 18! lol
I joke quite seriously about it.Our DD just turned 12. We are pulling our hair out now and will be bald by the time she is 18! lol
"WORST experience of my life!"
"Would you do it again?"
"Totally"
...insanity....
Jack Sprat 12:57 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I joke quite seriously about it.
"WORST experience of my life!"
"Would you do it again?"
"Totally" ...insanity....
I joke quite seriously about it.
"WORST experience of my life!"
"Would you do it again?"
"Totally"
...insanity....
Cradle2crayons 01:14 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
She is queen of angry crying. She is stubborn so beingh patted to sleep is laughable! She would be enraged. NO, much of this does NOT work for us any longer.
Others may disagree... But my honest opinion.... Cold turkey... But you have to be seriously wanting to follow through. The first few weeks are hard. But well worth it in the end. She is queen of angry crying. She is stubborn so beingh patted to sleep is laughable! She would be enraged.
NO, much of this does NOT work for us any longer.IMHO, I highly discourage he laying down with them thing... It backfires more than it works,
it's hard. Just keep repeating... She's warm, dry, fed and she's just pitching a fit... Rinse and repeat...
Heidi 01:17 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
She is totally fine around the kids. It is the sleeping BATTLE that is killing me! I think I will start it tomorrow so that we have the 3 day weekend on our side. What do I do?! How do I do it?!? She is really stubborn.
Mine didn't have any issues at birth...she was just my first live baby out of 4 so I enjoyed the snuggling. Still do but the sleep battle is getting to be horrible and I could really benefit from a child that will nap on her own!!!
If she was over 1 I wouldn't even be worried since she was out of infancy. Ugh.
aaw man...She is totally fine around the kids. It is the sleeping BATTLE that is killing me! I think I will start it tomorrow so that we have the 3 day weekend on our side. What do I do?! How do I do it?!? She is really stubborn.
Mine didn't have any issues at birth...she was just my first live baby out of 4 so I enjoyed the snuggling. Still do but the sleep battle is getting to be horrible and I could really benefit from a child that will nap on her own!!!
If she was over 1 I wouldn't even be worried since she was out of infancy. Ugh.
Ok...I'm going to give you the tough love now, darling:
1: "If she were over 1, I wouldn't be worried" is huuha. You know, it's going to be harder after she can stand up, right? You KNOW!
2. We could have told you so, but we won't say that, because we love you. teehee
3. If she's crying, she's breathing. Remember that!
4. Buy a camera with a phone app, and mount it in her room. i saw them at Menards for $50 or so. Turn off the sound, because I'm sure she doesn't need amplification. Then, before you can't stop yourself and have to go in there, watch her on the app. (you could link it to your phone or pc). Then, you can see she's just pissed, but fine, right?
5. Get er' done now! It'll be 3 days of terror, and it'll be over. Give her lots of extra lovin' during the waking part of the day if you feel so guilty.
It'll be ok. If you need to call me and get a virtual hand-holding via phone, I will be glad to PM you my phone number.
You can do this, and so can she!
Ok...have to add. I PROMISE you, you will not permanently harm your little girl. She will not remember this. She will not give a eulogy for you one day where she says "yeah...my mom was a cold B**** because she made me sleep alone".
spinnymarie 01:18 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Nighttime sleep doesn't bug me. I guess it is just the process and the fact that she won't nap unless she is being held or worn in an ergo or wrap. Ahhh.
Ahhh, that would be harder. I always fed to sleep until I weaned around 14 months. But I also wasn't doing DC. Nighttime sleep doesn't bug me. I guess it is just the process and the fact that she won't nap unless she is being held or worn in an ergo or wrap. Ahhh.
Hopefully someone has some ideas!
EntropyControlSpecialist 01:23 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
aaw man...
Ok...I'm going to give you the tough love now, darling:
1: "If she were over 1, I wouldn't be worried" is huuha. You know, it's going to be harder after she can stand up, right? You KNOW!
2. We could have told you so, but we won't say that, because we love you. teehee
3. If she's crying, she's breathing. Remember that!
4. Buy a camera with a phone app, and mount it in her room. i saw them at Menards for $50 or so. Turn off the sound, because I'm sure she doesn't need amplification. Then, before you can't stop yourself and have to go in there, watch her on the app. (you could link it to your phone or pc). Then, you can see she's just pissed, but fine, right?
5. Get er' done now! It'll be 3 days of terror, and it'll be over. Give her lots of extra lovin' during the waking part of the day if you feel so guilty.
It'll be ok. If you need to call me and get a virtual hand-holding via phone, I will be glad to PM you my phone number.
You can do this, and so can she!
Ok...have to add. I PROMISE you, you will not permanently harm your little girl. She will not remember this. She will not give a eulogy for you one day where she says "yeah...my mom was a cold B**** because she made me sleep alone".
Bahahahah. So funny! I DO have a baby cam with a video feature. So that is a good thing. I use it for the daycare now! aaw man...
Ok...I'm going to give you the tough love now, darling:
1: "If she were over 1, I wouldn't be worried" is huuha. You know, it's going to be harder after she can stand up, right? You KNOW!
2. We could have told you so, but we won't say that, because we love you. teehee
3. If she's crying, she's breathing. Remember that!
4. Buy a camera with a phone app, and mount it in her room. i saw them at Menards for $50 or so. Turn off the sound, because I'm sure she doesn't need amplification. Then, before you can't stop yourself and have to go in there, watch her on the app. (you could link it to your phone or pc). Then, you can see she's just pissed, but fine, right?
5. Get er' done now! It'll be 3 days of terror, and it'll be over. Give her lots of extra lovin' during the waking part of the day if you feel so guilty.
It'll be ok. If you need to call me and get a virtual hand-holding via phone, I will be glad to PM you my phone number.
You can do this, and so can she!
Ok...have to add. I PROMISE you, you will not permanently harm your little girl. She will not remember this. She will not give a eulogy for you one day where she says "yeah...my mom was a cold B**** because she made me sleep alone".
I am excited to get this over with! Tomorrow night it begins. Dun dun dunnn. I LIKE the idea of 3 days of torture. Weeks!!??!??? That sounds exhausting.
Mom2TLE 01:46 PM 04-16-2014
Not what you want to hear but I have her twin!!! My own DD she would not nap to save her life, screamed bloody murder when left alone in a play pen to the point of gaging and throwing up. She finally started napping about 4 months ago, She just turned 2 in December. I gave up and would hold her for 45 min a short nap was better than none. I needed my sanity.
I gave up and would hold her for 45 min a short nap was better than none. I needed my sanity.
Heidi 01:59 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Bahahahah. So funny! I DO have a baby cam with a video feature. So that is a good thing. I use it for the daycare now!
I am excited to get this over with! Tomorrow night it begins. Dun dun dunnn. I LIKE the idea of 3 days of torture. Weeks!!??!??? That sounds exhausting.
It won't be weeks. Surest way to prolong it, though, is to cave. That'll teach her to just try harder. Bahahahah. So funny! I DO have a baby cam with a video feature. So that is a good thing. I use it for the daycare now!
I am excited to get this over with! Tomorrow night it begins. Dun dun dunnn. I LIKE the idea of 3 days of torture. Weeks!!??!??? That sounds exhausting.
Hang in there!
EntropyControlSpecialist 02:01 PM 04-16-2014
I totally get it! I am hoping the girl learns to sleep alone.
NightOwl 08:47 PM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
She just wakes so often it is miserable at night!
I totally understand, but I promise it gets better! Is she waking to feed? She's only 7mo, so are you positive she's not hungry?She just wakes so often it is miserable at night!
Cradle2crayons 12:45 AM 04-17-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
I totally understand, but I promise it gets better! Is she waking to feed? She's only 7mo, so are you positive she's not hungry?
If she wakes and she isn't hungry, then check her diaper. If she's not wet, put her back to bed. If she's hungry, feed and change her and put her back to bed.I totally understand, but I promise it gets better! Is she waking to feed? She's only 7mo, so are you positive she's not hungry?
You can do this
EntropyControlSpecialist 06:17 AM 04-17-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
I totally understand, but I promise it gets better! Is she waking to feed? She's only 7mo, so are you positive she's not hungry?
Oh at night, she is hungry ablut every 3-4 hrs. It isn't the nightwaking that is the issue...its the fact that she is becoming increasingly difficult at naptime!I totally understand, but I promise it gets better! Is she waking to feed? She's only 7mo, so are you positive she's not hungry?
The waking often at night happens when she isn't right next to her parents. Otherwise, its normal nightwaking.
SilverSabre25 06:27 AM 04-17-2014
I can relate. My oldest was sleep hell as a baby. She didn't really sleep through the night until she was over three! She was also one who went from a little mad to hysterical within seconds if I tried any kind of CIO. I honestly don't remember much about her napping....it was 7 years ago and I was exhausted,
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:53 PM 04-17-2014
Started for evening nap. She was fine the first couple of minutes, cried, I went in and patted her back and said "night night!" and walked away, and she fell asleep about a minute after. 4ish minutes of crying I will take!!!!! Here's to hoping it continues. 
--Edited: Briefly woke and cried for a bit and went back to sleep.
--Edited: Briefly woke and cried for a bit and went back to sleep.
Unregistered 12:15 AM 04-18-2014
Originally Posted by Hollydawn:
Your little one and my Leo could be friends.
He is nine months and only sleeps when held or in bed with me. He also nurses a billion times per night.
He is my third. I parented my first two much the same but they were not like this guy. When I attempt to lay him down while he's asleep, he wakes up and screams like it's his job.
Fortunately, for him I am soft and will just ride it out until it passes or until he's older. I did a modified CIO with my middle son but not until he was almost two.
If you're comfortable with it, CIO will be your best bet.
Good luck!
Sorry to high jackYour little one and my Leo could be friends.
He is nine months and only sleeps when held or in bed with me. He also nurses a billion times per night.
He is my third. I parented my first two much the same but they were not like this guy. When I attempt to lay him down while he's asleep, he wakes up and screams like it's his job.
Fortunately, for him I am soft and will just ride it out until it passes or until he's older. I did a modified CIO with my middle son but not until he was almost two.
If you're comfortable with it, CIO will be your best bet.
Good luck!
Be careful with night time nursing. My youngest did this and ended up with tooth decay just like kids who have a bottle to sleep with .. Her tooth decay wasn't as bad as " bottle" mouth,, but it damaged her front teeth. I refused silver fillings and demanded white. It all worked okay.
Just a word of caution.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:20 AM 04-18-2014
Not too bad of a night! Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be!
Lots of dramatic crying that shushing and time soothed.
Lots of dramatic crying that shushing and time soothed.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:21 AM 04-18-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Sorry to high jack
Be careful with night time nursing. My youngest did this and ended up with tooth decay just like kids who have a bottle to sleep with .. Her tooth decay wasn't as bad as " bottle" mouth,, but it damaged her front teeth. I refused silver fillings and demanded white. It all worked okay.
Just a word of caution.
Can't wiping the teeth with a cloth fix that before going back to sleep?Sorry to high jack
Be careful with night time nursing. My youngest did this and ended up with tooth decay just like kids who have a bottle to sleep with .. Her tooth decay wasn't as bad as " bottle" mouth,, but it damaged her front teeth. I refused silver fillings and demanded white. It all worked okay.
Just a word of caution.
Mom of 4 04:20 PM 04-18-2014
CIO- THE BEST invention ever!
I don't mean CIO for hours on end like people assume (wrongfully).
CIO teaches the child independence, and can start around 6-8 months. It teaches the child you CAN be trusted.
How it is SUPPOSED to work:
1. Meet all the child's needs (fed? Held? Boogies wiped? changed?)
2. Put child down on a consistent schedule when possible
3. If the child starts to cry right away, do not pick up the child
4. leave wait 5 minutes
5. if child is still crying, check and reassure but NO picking up the baby
6. leave and wait 5 minutes
7. check and reassure, leave and repeat til child is asleep.
Eventually the checking and reassuring lessens (not every few minutes) but at first you do have to do that.
After a week or so, the baby should have no problem sleeping.
I don't mean CIO for hours on end like people assume (wrongfully).
CIO teaches the child independence, and can start around 6-8 months. It teaches the child you CAN be trusted.
How it is SUPPOSED to work:
1. Meet all the child's needs (fed? Held? Boogies wiped? changed?)
2. Put child down on a consistent schedule when possible
3. If the child starts to cry right away, do not pick up the child
4. leave wait 5 minutes
5. if child is still crying, check and reassure but NO picking up the baby
6. leave and wait 5 minutes
7. check and reassure, leave and repeat til child is asleep.
Eventually the checking and reassuring lessens (not every few minutes) but at first you do have to do that.
After a week or so, the baby should have no problem sleeping.
Heidi 05:29 PM 04-18-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Not too bad of a night! Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be!
Lots of dramatic crying that shushing and time soothed.
I'm sorry, but I'm a little confused.Not too bad of a night! Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be!
Lots of dramatic crying that shushing and time soothed.
Are you just trying to get her to sleep on her own during the day, with minimal rocking, etc, but want to keep co-sleeping at night?
If that's the case, I think you would actually be making the whole thing way harder on little muffin. If she learns to go to sleep on her own in the day, she can also resettle at night. It's unlikely that she NEEDS night time nutrition (unless she's 100% breastfed yet, which is cool, but changes the dynamics).
If you really, really, believe she's hungry at night, then keep the nursing as simple as possible. No talking, dim lights, no singing, no rocking, etc. Just a drink, then back to bed. Otherwise, treat it like you do naps. Routine, tuck her in, say good night, and leave. If she wakes at night, give her a few minutes to resettle on her own before going in. If she's sleeping in your room, get her out of there. If she can hear you breathing, she's not going to be cool with you ignoring her. lol
It's hard enough when we have a dck doing one thing at home (at night) than at daycare. Now, you're adding that she is in the same place both times, and I'm afraid she can't yet tell the difference between night and day sleep. What she can learn, though, is that HER bed is a warm, cozy, special place that mommy puts her in and she gets to go night-night. Yeah!
Did I misunderstand?
EntropyControlSpecialist 08:55 PM 04-18-2014
She is in crib (well, pack n play) naps and bedtime. Otherwise , I think she would be super confused! She gets shushed but not picked up. Back pats after 5 min and then she is fine.
She is breastfed but gets bottles at night. So, she drank it in crib, it got removed, and back to sleep she went.
Loud sound machine so I don't think she hears me breathing? Maybe!
She is breastfed but gets bottles at night. So, she drank it in crib, it got removed, and back to sleep she went.
Loud sound machine so I don't think she hears me breathing? Maybe!
MarinaVanessa 04:29 AM 04-19-2014
Originally Posted by Mom of 4:
CIO- THE BEST invention ever!
I don't mean CIO for hours on end like people assume (wrongfully).
CIO teaches the child independence, and can start around 6-8 months. It teaches the child you CAN be trusted.
How it is SUPPOSED to work:
1. Meet all the child's needs (fed? Held? Boogies wiped? changed?)
2. Put child down on a consistent schedule when possible
3. If the child starts to cry right away, do not pick up the child
4. leave wait 5 minutes
5. if child is still crying, check and reassure but NO picking up the baby
6. leave and wait 5 minutes
7. check and reassure, leave and repeat til child is asleep.
Eventually the checking and reassuring lessens (not every few minutes) but at first you do have to do that.
After a week or so, the baby should have no problem sleeping.
This isn't CIO btw. CIO literally is to leave a child to cry itself to sleep. What the above parent is suggesting sounds more like "Babywise", Ferber etc. I'm really late in the game here but I've been so busy I haven't been able to check in on the forum much lately but since this is something I really feel strongly about I just have to chime in.CIO- THE BEST invention ever!
I don't mean CIO for hours on end like people assume (wrongfully).
CIO teaches the child independence, and can start around 6-8 months. It teaches the child you CAN be trusted.
How it is SUPPOSED to work:
1. Meet all the child's needs (fed? Held? Boogies wiped? changed?)
2. Put child down on a consistent schedule when possible
3. If the child starts to cry right away, do not pick up the child
4. leave wait 5 minutes
5. if child is still crying, check and reassure but NO picking up the baby
6. leave and wait 5 minutes
7. check and reassure, leave and repeat til child is asleep.
Eventually the checking and reassuring lessens (not every few minutes) but at first you do have to do that.
After a week or so, the baby should have no problem sleeping.
CIO is to leave a child to cry in the hope that the child will learn to stop crying ... even if if takes over an hour. I don't agree with this method and I wouldn't do this with my children and would never do it with my daycare children, especially when a child is under a year old. I would however do what the parent is suggesting above.
Put the baby down for nap, reassure the baby with gentle touches and a soothing voice then walk away. Baby cries so I would let baby cry for 5 minutes or so then I'd go in reassure baby with gentle touches and soothing voice again until baby was calm without picking baby up then walk out again. Baby cries again but this time let baby cry for 6 minutes. Rinse and repeat by adding 1 minute to my waiting time before going in again but never going past 15 minutes. After 15 minutes of crying if I wasn't able to sooth baby with patting or gentle tones then I would pick baby up, that's my personal choice. I wouldn't let a child under 1 cry for more than 15 minutes.
When a baby is under 1 they are forming all new brain connections and should be forming positive relationships and learning trust. This is accomplished through responsive care giving. CIO means that If the child's needs aren't being met when the baby cries then the baby will learn that it is useless to cry and alert their caregiver of their needs because it is hopeless to expect to have their needs met so they eventually just give up and won't cry anymore. Infant and young children that are left to cry for long periods if time show that over time and as older children are more needy, withdrawn, introverted, aggressive, have trouble making friends and are overall more likely to be untrusting. CIO can actually make this issue worse.
I'm talking about actual, real to the definition CIO as in "I'm going to leave this child in the crib for all of nap time and overnight and let the child cry without any interference and once nap or morning comes then and only then will I go in and respond to baby". That is CIO.
Babies and young children that don't have the language to tell you their needs cry as a means to tell us that they need something. It's one of the only ways of communication they have. Not just to tell us they are wet, dirty, hurting, or hungry but also that they're bored, tired or just need some interaction.
I have an 8mo that cosleeps with us and also still needs night feedings. My DH and I have recently been talking about transferring him to his own crib and will be using the Ferber method (which is not the same as CIO) just like my previous 2 children. One difference however is that I personally, and this is just MPO and completely think that everyone should do what is best for them and do what they feel is best for their child, think that any child under the age of 1yr-18mo ish (depending on the child) will usually have a different natural sleep pattern than the other older children and so when they are under 1yr I go by their patterns and they will eat/sleep on demand. I think it's a little unrealistic of me to expect infants to nap during my normal nap time when typically when I've followed their normal sleep patterns they will usually take 2 naps instead of 1 which is usually split by one before and one after my scheduled nap time. My own 8mo actually takes 3 naps a day - 1 hr around 9am (he's an early riser and wakes up at 7am), 1 hr around 12:30pm and another 1 hr around 4pm then will tire out for bedtime around 8pm. He wakes up 1-2 times during the night to eat then goes back to sleep. Again though, everyone should do what is best for their child even if that means to use true CIO even if I personally don't agree with it.
Mom of 4 07:33 AM 04-19-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
This isn't CIO btw. CIO literally is to leave a child to cry itself to sleep. What the above parent is suggesting sounds more like "Babywise", Ferber etc. I'm really late in the game here but I've been so busy I haven't been able to check in on the forum much lately but since this is something I really feel strongly about I just have to chime in.
CIO is to leave a child to cry in the hope that the child will learn to stop crying ... even if if takes over an hour. I don't agree with this method and I wouldn't do this with my children and would never do it with my daycare children, especially when a child is under a year old. I would however do what the parent is suggesting above.
Put the baby down for nap, reassure the baby with gentle touches and a soothing voice then walk away. Baby cries so I would let baby cry for 5 minutes or so then I'd go in reassure baby with gentle touches and soothing voice again until baby was calm without picking baby up then walk out again. Baby cries again but this time let baby cry for 6 minutes. Rinse and repeat by adding 1 minute to my waiting time before going in again but never going past 15 minutes. After 15 minutes of crying if I wasn't able to sooth baby with patting or gentle tones then I would pick baby up, that's my personal choice. I wouldn't let a child under 1 cry for more than 15 minutes.
When a baby is under 1 they are forming all new brain connections and should be forming positive relationships and learning trust. This is accomplished through responsive care giving. CIO means that If the child's needs aren't being met when the baby cries then the baby will learn that it is useless to cry and alert their caregiver of their needs because it is hopeless to expect to have their needs met so they eventually just give up and won't cry anymore. Infant and young children that are left to cry for long periods if time show that over time and as older children are more needy, withdrawn, introverted, aggressive, have trouble making friends and are overall more likely to be untrusting. CIO can actually make this issue worse.
I'm talking about actual, real to the definition CIO as in "I'm going to leave this child in the crib for all of nap time and overnight and let the child cry without any interference and once nap or morning comes then and only then will I go in and respond to baby". That is CIO.
Babies and young children that don't have the language to tell you their needs cry as a means to tell us that they need something. It's one of the only ways of communication they have. Not just to tell us they are wet, dirty, hurting, or hungry but also that they're bored, tired or just need some interaction.
I have an 8mo that cosleeps with us and also still needs night feedings. My DH and I have recently been talking about transferring him to his own crib and will be using the Ferber method (which is not the same as CIO) just like my previous 2 children. One difference however is that I personally, and this is just MPO and completely think that everyone should do what is best for them and do what they feel is best for their child, think that any child under the age of 1yr-18mo ish (depending on the child) will usually have a different natural sleep pattern than the other older children and so when they are under 1yr I go by their patterns and they will eat/sleep on demand. I think it's a little unrealistic of me to expect infants to nap during my normal nap time when typically when I've followed their normal sleep patterns they will usually take 2 naps instead of 1 which is usually split by one before and one after my scheduled nap time. My own 8mo actually takes 3 naps a day - 1 hr around 9am (he's an early riser and wakes up at 7am), 1 hr around 12:30pm and another 1 hr around 4pm then will tire out for bedtime around 8pm. He wakes up 1-2 times during the night to eat then goes back to sleep. Again though, everyone should do what is best for their child even if that means to use true CIO even if I personally don't agree with it.
What you described isn't SUPPOSED to be CIO. That's why I said "this is how it SHOULD work", because people took it to extremes and that's borderline abuse. :/ Unfortunately, that's just how some parents are. Lazy and unresponsive. CIO isn't meant to be completely unresponsive training, even if some people are doing it that way. This isn't CIO btw. CIO literally is to leave a child to cry itself to sleep. What the above parent is suggesting sounds more like "Babywise", Ferber etc. I'm really late in the game here but I've been so busy I haven't been able to check in on the forum much lately but since this is something I really feel strongly about I just have to chime in.
CIO is to leave a child to cry in the hope that the child will learn to stop crying ... even if if takes over an hour. I don't agree with this method and I wouldn't do this with my children and would never do it with my daycare children, especially when a child is under a year old. I would however do what the parent is suggesting above.
Put the baby down for nap, reassure the baby with gentle touches and a soothing voice then walk away. Baby cries so I would let baby cry for 5 minutes or so then I'd go in reassure baby with gentle touches and soothing voice again until baby was calm without picking baby up then walk out again. Baby cries again but this time let baby cry for 6 minutes. Rinse and repeat by adding 1 minute to my waiting time before going in again but never going past 15 minutes. After 15 minutes of crying if I wasn't able to sooth baby with patting or gentle tones then I would pick baby up, that's my personal choice. I wouldn't let a child under 1 cry for more than 15 minutes.
When a baby is under 1 they are forming all new brain connections and should be forming positive relationships and learning trust. This is accomplished through responsive care giving. CIO means that If the child's needs aren't being met when the baby cries then the baby will learn that it is useless to cry and alert their caregiver of their needs because it is hopeless to expect to have their needs met so they eventually just give up and won't cry anymore. Infant and young children that are left to cry for long periods if time show that over time and as older children are more needy, withdrawn, introverted, aggressive, have trouble making friends and are overall more likely to be untrusting. CIO can actually make this issue worse.
I'm talking about actual, real to the definition CIO as in "I'm going to leave this child in the crib for all of nap time and overnight and let the child cry without any interference and once nap or morning comes then and only then will I go in and respond to baby". That is CIO.
Babies and young children that don't have the language to tell you their needs cry as a means to tell us that they need something. It's one of the only ways of communication they have. Not just to tell us they are wet, dirty, hurting, or hungry but also that they're bored, tired or just need some interaction.
I have an 8mo that cosleeps with us and also still needs night feedings. My DH and I have recently been talking about transferring him to his own crib and will be using the Ferber method (which is not the same as CIO) just like my previous 2 children. One difference however is that I personally, and this is just MPO and completely think that everyone should do what is best for them and do what they feel is best for their child, think that any child under the age of 1yr-18mo ish (depending on the child) will usually have a different natural sleep pattern than the other older children and so when they are under 1yr I go by their patterns and they will eat/sleep on demand. I think it's a little unrealistic of me to expect infants to nap during my normal nap time when typically when I've followed their normal sleep patterns they will usually take 2 naps instead of 1 which is usually split by one before and one after my scheduled nap time. My own 8mo actually takes 3 naps a day - 1 hr around 9am (he's an early riser and wakes up at 7am), 1 hr around 12:30pm and another 1 hr around 4pm then will tire out for bedtime around 8pm. He wakes up 1-2 times during the night to eat then goes back to sleep. Again though, everyone should do what is best for their child even if that means to use true CIO even if I personally don't agree with it.
I don't think any regular CIO parent would really want to leave their kid to cry for an hour.
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:47 AM 04-19-2014
Yeah, I let her cry 5 minutes period. She falls asleep now with some shushing and pats. It is glorious!!!!
TwinKristi 01:05 PM 04-19-2014
I was a single mom with my twins and lived with my parents, so my mom basically just said "this is what I did..." and I did I thought was right or normal, even if I HATED it. I hated having the twins CIO but it wasn't hours of crying or anything. We started when they were like 3mos old putting them in their crib at night after changing, feeding, etc. and they cried for maybe 20-30 min the first night and fell asleep and the next 2 nights were less and less until finally they learned to just go to sleep within a few mins. But when they started teething rapidly between 6-8mos it was much harder with night waking and I would get up all night long. Finally their Ped said they don't need night time bottles anymore and let them CIO. At 8+ mos it will be harder than at 3mos but after a week they got it and STTN after for good. With my 3rd baby he STTN the first night home! Kid you not, I had a freak out moment when I woke up at 6am! He started waking at 4am and taking a bottle and sleeping till 7-8 after a bit but that was manageable! My 4th couldn't tolerate CIO even in increments. He was NOT a good sleeper and even to this day at 10 is up before everyone else. 
My 5th co-slept with us until he was 6... <hide> We tried from the get go to sleep in the bassinet but he wouldn't sleep for more than 45mins. We got to about 3hrs swaddling with a Miracle Blanket but when he outgrew that he was in bed with us. We got him a new bed for his 6th birthday and had baby #6 about 2wks later! 
Now he's in bed with us, but has his own bed we try to use. He just needs a snuggle to go down and then we can move him. Sometimes I wish I would have just tried CIO more consistently with him but we tried a few times and it was just awful and dh & I just couldn't stomach it. Every child has different needs and some won't tolerate CIO!
Kid you not, I had a freak out moment when I woke up at 6am! He started waking at 4am and taking a bottle and sleeping till 7-8 after a bit but that was manageable! My 4th couldn't tolerate CIO even in increments. He was NOT a good sleeper and even to this day at 10 is up before everyone else. My 5th co-slept with us until he was 6... <hide> We tried from the get go to sleep in the bassinet but he wouldn't sleep for more than 45mins. We got to about 3hrs swaddling with a Miracle Blanket but when he outgrew that he was in bed with us. We got him a new bed for his 6th birthday and had baby #6 about 2wks later! Now he's in bed with us, but has his own bed we try to use. He just needs a snuggle to go down and then we can move him. Sometimes I wish I would have just tried CIO more consistently with him but we tried a few times and it was just awful and dh & I just couldn't stomach it. Every child has different needs and some won't tolerate CIO!
Heidi 03:16 PM 04-19-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
This isn't CIO btw. CIO literally is to leave a child to cry itself to sleep. What the above parent is suggesting sounds more like "Babywise", Ferber etc. I'm really late in the game here but I've been so busy I haven't been able to check in on the forum much lately but since this is something I really feel strongly about I just have to chime in.
CIO is to leave a child to cry in the hope that the child will learn to stop crying ... even if if takes over an hour. I don't agree with this method and I wouldn't do this with my children and would never do it with my daycare children, especially when a child is under a year old. I would however do what the parent is suggesting above.
Put the baby down for nap, reassure the baby with gentle touches and a soothing voice then walk away. Baby cries so I would let baby cry for 5 minutes or so then I'd go in reassure baby with gentle touches and soothing voice again until baby was calm without picking baby up then walk out again. Baby cries again but this time let baby cry for 6 minutes. Rinse and repeat by adding 1 minute to my waiting time before going in again but never going past 15 minutes. After 15 minutes of crying if I wasn't able to sooth baby with patting or gentle tones then I would pick baby up, that's my personal choice. I wouldn't let a child under 1 cry for more than 15 minutes.
When a baby is under 1 they are forming all new brain connections and should be forming positive relationships and learning trust. This is accomplished through responsive care giving. CIO means that If the child's needs aren't being met when the baby cries then the baby will learn that it is useless to cry and alert their caregiver of their needs because it is hopeless to expect to have their needs met so they eventually just give up and won't cry anymore. Infant and young children that are left to cry for long periods if time show that over time and as older children are more needy, withdrawn, introverted, aggressive, have trouble making friends and are overall more likely to be untrusting. CIO can actually make this issue worse.
I'm talking about actual, real to the definition CIO as in "I'm going to leave this child in the crib for all of nap time and overnight and let the child cry without any interference and once nap or morning comes then and only then will I go in and respond to baby". That is CIO.
Babies and young children that don't have the language to tell you their needs cry as a means to tell us that they need something. It's one of the only ways of communication they have. Not just to tell us they are wet, dirty, hurting, or hungry but also that they're bored, tired or just need some interaction.
I have an 8mo that cosleeps with us and also still needs night feedings. My DH and I have recently been talking about transferring him to his own crib and will be using the Ferber method (which is not the same as CIO) just like my previous 2 children. One difference however is that I personally, and this is just MPO and completely think that everyone should do what is best for them and do what they feel is best for their child, think that any child under the age of 1yr-18mo ish (depending on the child) will usually have a different natural sleep pattern than the other older children and so when they are under 1yr I go by their patterns and they will eat/sleep on demand. I think it's a little unrealistic of me to expect infants to nap during my normal nap time when typically when I've followed their normal sleep patterns they will usually take 2 naps instead of 1 which is usually split by one before and one after my scheduled nap time. My own 8mo actually takes 3 naps a day - 1 hr around 9am (he's an early riser and wakes up at 7am), 1 hr around 12:30pm and another 1 hr around 4pm then will tire out for bedtime around 8pm. He wakes up 1-2 times during the night to eat then goes back to sleep. Again though, everyone should do what is best for their child even if that means to use true CIO even if I personally don't agree with it.
This isn't CIO btw. CIO literally is to leave a child to cry itself to sleep. What the above parent is suggesting sounds more like "Babywise", Ferber etc. I'm really late in the game here but I've been so busy I haven't been able to check in on the forum much lately but since this is something I really feel strongly about I just have to chime in.
CIO is to leave a child to cry in the hope that the child will learn to stop crying ... even if if takes over an hour. I don't agree with this method and I wouldn't do this with my children and would never do it with my daycare children, especially when a child is under a year old. I would however do what the parent is suggesting above.
Put the baby down for nap, reassure the baby with gentle touches and a soothing voice then walk away. Baby cries so I would let baby cry for 5 minutes or so then I'd go in reassure baby with gentle touches and soothing voice again until baby was calm without picking baby up then walk out again. Baby cries again but this time let baby cry for 6 minutes. Rinse and repeat by adding 1 minute to my waiting time before going in again but never going past 15 minutes. After 15 minutes of crying if I wasn't able to sooth baby with patting or gentle tones then I would pick baby up, that's my personal choice. I wouldn't let a child under 1 cry for more than 15 minutes.
When a baby is under 1 they are forming all new brain connections and should be forming positive relationships and learning trust. This is accomplished through responsive care giving. CIO means that If the child's needs aren't being met when the baby cries then the baby will learn that it is useless to cry and alert their caregiver of their needs because it is hopeless to expect to have their needs met so they eventually just give up and won't cry anymore. Infant and young children that are left to cry for long periods if time show that over time and as older children are more needy, withdrawn, introverted, aggressive, have trouble making friends and are overall more likely to be untrusting. CIO can actually make this issue worse.
I'm talking about actual, real to the definition CIO as in "I'm going to leave this child in the crib for all of nap time and overnight and let the child cry without any interference and once nap or morning comes then and only then will I go in and respond to baby". That is CIO.
Babies and young children that don't have the language to tell you their needs cry as a means to tell us that they need something. It's one of the only ways of communication they have. Not just to tell us they are wet, dirty, hurting, or hungry but also that they're bored, tired or just need some interaction.
I have an 8mo that cosleeps with us and also still needs night feedings. My DH and I have recently been talking about transferring him to his own crib and will be using the Ferber method (which is not the same as CIO) just like my previous 2 children. One difference however is that I personally, and this is just MPO and completely think that everyone should do what is best for them and do what they feel is best for their child, think that any child under the age of 1yr-18mo ish (depending on the child) will usually have a different natural sleep pattern than the other older children and so when they are under 1yr I go by their patterns and they will eat/sleep on demand. I think it's a little unrealistic of me to expect infants to nap during my normal nap time when typically when I've followed their normal sleep patterns they will usually take 2 naps instead of 1 which is usually split by one before and one after my scheduled nap time. My own 8mo actually takes 3 naps a day - 1 hr around 9am (he's an early riser and wakes up at 7am), 1 hr around 12:30pm and another 1 hr around 4pm then will tire out for bedtime around 8pm. He wakes up 1-2 times during the night to eat then goes back to sleep. Again though, everyone should do what is best for their child even if that means to use true CIO even if I personally don't agree with it.
Thank you, and yes, exactly!
The only difference with me is that once they are 5-6 months or so, I do a morning nap (up to 1 hour, then I wake if they do not), and then treat afternoon just like night sleep. So, if they wake up after 45 minutes, I go in, resettle, and encourage a longer nap, stretching it to 2 1/2-3 hours. It's worked with all my dck's and my own, but I'm not saying everyone has to do it. Partly, I do that out of necessity, because I have a small house. One kid up usually means several.