I'm New and Need Help!

[DaycareDanielle]

Hi All!

Sorry this is so long!

I am an in-home provider in Wisconsin. I started doing daycare because after a year of taking my daughter to daycare, I just couldn't bear to part with her anymore. Been doing daycare for 1.5 years.

I found this site when I was looking for daycare forums to vent, ask advice and have like-minded women to mingle with!

I do have a specific problem I am wanting some advice on. I have a DCB who turned 1 last week. He has been coming to daycare since about September 2011. Anytime I set him down he cries. If I am in the kitchen making lunch, he is clawing at my leg, screaming, crying, turning blue. He has even passed out a few times at home with his mom & dad from crying.

I am feeling so frustrated because it is just not fair to my other daycare kids. If we are wanting to do a project, we have to deal with screaming. It is just completely unfair! I am pretty honest with parents about their child's behavior and have been with this DCB's mom and dad. Thursday was particularly trying and I asked her what she does at home when he is crying like this consistently.. Her reply, "We hold him."

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!

My despair was obviously all over my face. So she followed it up by saying that she tries to distract him with toys or cartoons but as soon as he realizes that she isn't holding him, he cries and she picks him up.

In addition to the crying, He will only fall asleep if he is being rocked, and the second I lay him down he wakes up and is screaming again. So during naptime when I should be cleaning up from the earlier activities and lunch, I am holding him, or he is screaming and as a result waking up the other children.

What do I do? I would really prefer for them to find a new daycare provider but we live in a small town and I really don't want her to bad-mouth my name.

HELP!!!!

[Blackcat31]

Welcome to the forum!

In regards to your issue, you need to level with the parents and simply tell them you are unable to meet their child's needs. He needs one adult to provide care for him and if the parents aren't going to help him learn to self soothe and play unassisted by you, then you really can't do much for him either.

You are right it is unfair to him, you and all the other kids to have to deal with his crying. You cannot realistically hold him all day while caring for other children.

They really can't bad mouth you for looking out for their child's best interests and being honest about what he needs.

Good luck.... I do suggest doing a bit of reading on this forum and see how others handle terming families, difficult or high needs children. I am sure you will be able to find a wealth of information and some very good advice.

[beachgrl]

I totally second what advice Black cat gave you..if you frame it around what is best for their child and the fact that you cannot hold him all day in group care so maybe he needs a more one on one situation until he is doing more playing and entertaining himself for some period of time without becoming upset.

good luck, be honest with them and just let them know you are doing it for the best interest of their child as well as others in your care. They may need a nanny type situation if the child needs holding all the time awake and asleep.

[Michael]

Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum! I've upgraded your status. You can post freely now.