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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potty Training DCB...Help!!!
Tdhmom 11:47 AM 10-02-2013
I have potty trained 2 boys of my own...it is not easy, I know this. However, the dcb I have is impossible! I HAD brand new carpet when I first started (expensive stuff not the cheap get us by) at the same time I accepted just turned 2 yr old twins. The girl...completely potty trained. The boy...very far from it!!

Dcm wanted him trained so I humored her and actually gave it a shot. Pretty sure I was the only one having him go consistently.

Anywho fast forward almost a year and MANY "accidents" on my now not so new carpet :-/ we are STILL having issues. I think he's lazy. When he's playing (which is all the time) he will just go pee in his pants. I see the potty in his pants and ask him if he needs to go (for the hundredth time that morning) and he still says no.

Unless I am physically taking him to the potty every hour he just goes where he's at. He is 3 now.

We had a good month (last month) where he would tell me about 75% of the time and the other times I would take him cause we would be going for a walk or walking kids to and from school and there was no where for him to go.

This week...he has had 3-4 accidents everyday. Undies soaked. There's a difference between a little bit and then catching himself and finishing in the potty and just soaking his underwear and me catching him and making him finish in the potty.

WHAT DO I DO?! I want to put his little bottem back in diapers is what I want to do! But I know dcm would be upset and feel like when're taking a step back.

Thanks in advance for any advice you may have!!
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Cradle2crayons 11:57 AM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by Tdhmom:
I have potty trained 2 boys of my own...it is not easy, I know this. However, the dcb I have is impossible! I HAD brand new carpet when I first started (expensive stuff not the cheap get us by) at the same time I accepted just turned 2 yr old twins. The girl...completely potty trained. The boy...very far from it!!

Dcm wanted him trained so I humored her and actually gave it a shot. Pretty sure I was the only one having him go consistently.

Anywho fast forward almost a year and MANY "accidents" on my now not so new carpet :-/ we are STILL having issues. I think he's lazy. When he's playing (which is all the time) he will just go pee in his pants. I see the potty in his pants and ask him if he needs to go (for the hundredth time that morning) and he still says no.

Unless I am physically taking him to the potty every hour he just goes where he's at. He is 3 now.

We had a good month (last month) where he would tell me about 75% of the time and the other times I would take him cause we would be going for a walk or walking kids to and from school and there was no where for him to go.

This week...he has had 3-4 accidents everyday. Undies soaked. There's a difference between a little bit and then catching himself and finishing in the potty and just soaking his underwear and me catching him and making him finish in the potty.

WHAT DO I DO?! I want to put his little bottem back in diapers is what I want to do! But I know dcm would be upset and feel like when're taking a step back.

Thanks in advance for any advice you may have!!
What do y do?? Print up a potty training POLICY... And next thing you do... FOLLOW IT.

My policy states that before a child can come out of diapers they have to be started at home, they have to verbalize they have to go (not be reminded and taken every 30 minutes they have to actually SAY they have to potty)... They have to be able to remove and replace clothes and get onto the toilet.... And ey have to go without an accident for TWO WEEKS in diapers at daycare before they are put in underwear.. If they have an accident, they go back into diapers u til ey are dry again for two weeks.

Potty training a child before they are ready just makes e whole process last forever.

And taking a child to the potty every hour isn't potty training.

I have my policy and on ere is why I do it this way (because success rates are higher, independence is fostered, sanitary conditions are maintained, etc) and if parents don't like it, ey don't sign up for care.
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butterfly 12:07 PM 10-02-2013
to you for putting up for this for so long!!

Question: does he sit to pee or stand? For my own boys, we struggled for a long time getting them fully trained until they learned that they could stand to pee - then it was fun!

I'm not real excited about little boys standing to pee, but I'd rather have to clean the bathroom more frequently than have to clean my carpet more frequently.


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Josiegirl 12:19 PM 10-02-2013
I agree with Cradles2Crayons. They have to have some good success at home before I even attempt it here. Then it's pull-ups until no accidents for a week or 2, then I'll try the underwear. I hate it when all my furniture and carpets get soaked with urine. Or their clothes are filled with poop.
I have found you can teach them, battle with them, become frustrated with them, preach till you're blue in the face and work at it for a year when they turn 2-2 1/2 or so. OR you can wait for all the signs as stated above as they near 3-3 1/2, and be trained in a couple weeks. Although I had 1 dcb who used to make me so angry. He was well into 4 before he stopped having consistent accidents but I refused to let him wear underwear here until he was mostly successful, with him it was laziness also. He's in 1st grade now. I assume he's completely trained.

I do remember when I was training my own ds to stand up and pee I used to put cheerios into the toilet so he could aim for them. Don't know if that'd be helpful, just thought I'd mention it. Haha
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KIDZRMYBIZ 12:27 PM 10-02-2013
I have struggled through potty relapses like this, too. Parents freak out when you tell them diapers or pull-ups are in order until it's resolved! So, I purchased a $4 plastic tablecloth that the offender must be on at ALL TIMES. Believe me, dragging it around and being confined to it greatly hinders their play, and they decide on their own that they WILL pay attention to their body after all, and they WILL go on the toilet instead of their pants, so that they may roam freely once again. I decide when they are relieved of the "mat of shame," when I think they've got it under control again.
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butterfly 12:30 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
I have struggled through potty relapses like this, too. Parents freak out when you tell them diapers or pull-ups are in order until it's resolved! So, I purchased a $4 plastic tablecloth that the offender must be on at ALL TIMES. Believe me, dragging it around and being confined to it greatly hinders their play, and they decide on their own that they WILL pay attention to their body after all, and they WILL go on the toilet instead of their pants, so that they may roam freely once again. I decide when they are relieved of the "mat of shame," when I think they've got it under control again.
I like this idea, but it's against regulations here. This would be considered shaming a child. If there is a way you could include others it may be ok, but then it looses it's effectiveness.
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KIDZRMYBIZ 12:58 PM 10-02-2013
We do not CALL it the "mat of shame!" I'm no meanie! The mat is just to protect the carpet, with an added bonus of inconvenience for the child. They still play normally with their friends, and is in no way a violation of NE licensing.

It is our job to teach a child that a certain behavior is not socially acceptable, and yes, sometimes embarrassment is the correct resulting emotion. Heaven help this planet if another generation of children with "high self-esteem" abound. John Rosemond is right on the money about that.
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Blackcat31 01:10 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I like this idea, but it's against regulations here. This would be considered shaming a child. If there is a way you could include others it may be ok, but then it looses it's effectiveness.
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
We do not CALL it the "mat of shame!" I'm no meanie! The mat is just to protect the carpet, with an added bonus of inconvenience for the child. They still play normally with their friends, and is in no way a violation of NE licensing.

It is our job to teach a child that a certain behavior is not socially acceptable, and yes, sometimes embarrassment is the correct resulting emotion. Heaven help this planet if another generation of children with "high self-esteem" abound. John Rosemond is right on the money about that.
I agree with Butterfly on this one. I would be written up so fast for doing that....it would definitely be considered shaming and/or humiliation.

*********************************************************

fwiw~ I raised my own kids via John Rosemond's Parent Power .....it was my bible. (I own several copies)

However, his philosophies and approaches conflict with EVERY.SINGLE DAP approach out there now days.
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butterfly 01:13 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
We do not CALL it the "mat of shame!" I'm no meanie! The mat is just to protect the carpet, with an added bonus of inconvenience for the child. They still play normally with their friends, and is in no way a violation of NE licensing.

It is our job to teach a child that a certain behavior is not socially acceptable, and yes, sometimes embarrassment is the correct resulting emotion. Heaven help this planet if another generation of children with "high self-esteem" abound. John Rosemond is right on the money about that.
I understand you are not trying to shame the child. But this is how licensing is going to view it here. I do agree with you, but it's not something I can do in my daycare.
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blandino 01:15 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

fwiw~ I raised my own kids via John Rosemond's Parent Power .....it was my bible. (I own several copies)

However, his philosophies and approaches conflict with EVERY.SINGLE DAP approach out there now days.
Then I would have to say I think his philosophies are probably great
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Blackcat31 01:20 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
Then I would have to say I think his philosophies are probably great
aw, thanks!

He really is fantastic... he has a website if you are interested at all in reading about his approaches/theories.

http://rosemond.com/

He writes a Q & A column in the newpaper each week...they are listed on his website too...FANTASTIC reads...
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cheerfuldom 01:21 PM 10-02-2013
I have never heard of the mat of shame.....eeek. sounds like way too much work to me.

I would have kept him in pullups this whole last year. No undies till they are two weeks accident free at my house. If accidents start up again, back to pullups. All this "progress" and then regression just proves that he was never ready to train in the first place at 2 years old. Now he doesnt even care about being soiled so it's going to be even harder to get him to trained.
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Tdhmom 01:41 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I have never heard of the mat of shame.....eeek. sounds like way too much work to me.

I would have kept him in pullups this whole last year. No undies till they are two weeks accident free at my house. If accidents start up again, back to pullups. All this "progress" and then regression just proves that he was never ready to train in the first place at 2 years old. Now he doesnt even care about being soiled so it's going to be even harder to get him to trained.
I had told dcm this many times. How he isn't ready and week after week he shows up in underwear. I ask for pull ups for nap and she'll bring 3...that lasts 3 days. I do not reuse them cuz he usually potties a little in each.

I'm just going to have her bring a pack of them tomorrow. It isn't worth the fight anymore. And I'm the one paying for it
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Cradle2crayons 02:05 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by Tdhmom:
I had told dcm this many times. How he isn't ready and week after week he shows up in underwear. I ask for pull ups for nap and she'll bring 3...that lasts 3 days. I do not reuse them cuz he usually potties a little in each.

I'm just going to have her bring a pack of them tomorrow. It isn't worth the fight anymore. And I'm the one paying for it
I don't ASK parents. After the first ask, ey get a letter warning if they don't bring what I ASK em to, I will REFUSE CARE. End of story.
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TheGoodLife 03:11 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
I don't ASK parents. After the first ask, ey get a letter warning if they don't bring what I ASK em to, I will REFUSE CARE. End of story.
exactly! Do not buy them, DCPs need to bring enough and if they run out- no care w/o proper supplies. If its not already in your handbook I'd update immediately and stick to it! No way should you have to deal with that!
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Unregistered 03:34 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
I don't ASK parents. After the first ask, ey get a letter warning if they don't bring what I ASK em to, I will REFUSE CARE. End of story.
Hes not poty trained so he needs to be in diapers...
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Cradle2crayons 03:44 PM 10-02-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Hes not poty trained so he needs to be in diapers...
I believe I stated that wayyyyyyyy up there in one of my first posts. I don't use pull ups at all. They are glorified diapers.

I was commenting on the fact e poster said shed asked mom several times to bring stuff....
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