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Anne 04:22 PM 12-30-2012
Hello,
I am a new provider only 1 month into it. Have 2 families both fulltime with the one wanting to go p/t end of summer. Here is where my problem is. I have a child who is school age but has issues with anxiety since opening the daycare end of nov his anxiety has gotten worse, he has lost weight and Dr and school both think daycare is the problem. I have been a stay at home mom for 17 yrs and then decided to do open daycare. Since the one family wants to go p/t anyway end of summer I have decided to only offer mon-thur care beginning July 1, 2013. I am also changing my hours from 6:30 am-5:30 pm to new hours effective now 7:30 am-4:30 pm in hopes the reduction in hours along with dropping a day of care this summer will help this issue.
My problem is I feel terrible doing this even though I plan on telling the families this week. Should I follow up with a new contract and formal letter stating changes? The one family starts this week and they know I am changing my hours but not that I am only doing p/t care beginning July 1. Is this enough notice of changing my days open? 6 months notice. Thanks I thought I posted this before so if it shows up 2 times I apologize
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Blackcat31 05:13 PM 12-30-2012


Welcome to the forum!

Your status has been upgraded so you can post without moderation
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Anne 05:41 PM 12-30-2012
Thank you, I am hoping to get some well needed advice
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Blackcat31 05:43 PM 12-30-2012
Originally Posted by Anne:
Thank you, I am hoping to get some well needed advice
It's a littler slower around here on the weekends and even slower over the holidays but hang around....you'll get lots of help and advice.

The gals here (and guys) are super helpful and very friendly!
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Michael 07:07 PM 12-30-2012
I'm here, Welcome!
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rbmom 07:50 PM 12-30-2012
Welcome! You will love this forum! I do not post very often but love reading all the suggestions!
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LaLa1923 08:21 PM 12-30-2012
I think it will depend on the demand. But considering you just opened, you may have trouble filling spots. It may be enough notice for the family, but they may also go elsewhere...... (Hugs) I'm sorry you're going through that!
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Former Teacher 08:35 PM 12-30-2012
Originally Posted by rbmom:
Welcome! You will love this forum! I do not post very often but love reading all the suggestions!
I agree! I usually don't sign in other than to delete all the spam or to ask silly questions

Trust me though...I am here ALL the time!

You will love it!

Welcome Abroad!
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CozyHome 09:35 PM 12-30-2012
Are you sure the child doesn't have a medical issue? I'm not clear if it's your son or a daycare child, but it kind of sounds like it's your son. Could it be a food allergy? Since he's school aged, are there problems at school with a bully or something else you should investigate? Celiac Disease causes weight loss and health problems but there could be many other issues too so get this little guy to the doctor for a proper diagnosis. It sounds like you think it's psychologic though.
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Unregistered 07:11 AM 12-31-2012
Thanks for the responses and the welcome to the forum. I should have clarified. It is our son and he has an already diganosed anxiety disorder along with "profound" ADHD. I have as well as his school suspected Aspbergers but that is another pot of coffee, we live in a small town and really even had a hard time getting him 2.5 hours away for adhd diagnosis and anxiety. Then husbands insurance changed and we can no longer go to that facility unless we pay out of pocket, needless to say it has been a work in progress getting him evaluated properly. So this child thrives on schedule and routine. I really thought we had come far enough that maybe I could make this work without effecting him. I started the daycare process because I had a friend who needed care and around here you cant even watch just one child without being licensed/reg so I thought well I will take on just 1 or 2 more. Started the process in sept just to get licensed [which was expensive]. He began to have "issues" as early as end of oct. the closer it came to him knowing we were abt ready to open the more his anxiety increased. I even had the schbool call and tell me he was having problems and even crying. We would talk to him abt it, thinking once the baby started he would be ok. He wasnt now we go to a Dr appt and he has lost weight and the Dr notices how anxious he seems this visit and asks me, "what is different in your home or school" The only thing that is different is I have started this daycare. My husband wants me to give it up tell them come July 1 we will close rather then try to cut back to p/t care and then not have that work. Anyone ever been in this situation? After sleeping on it I am leaning towards what my husband thinks is right and we are not desperate for the money. It just started out doing a friend a favor and trying to follow the law while doing it but I have to do what is best for my family and this doesnt seem to be a good fit for us at this stage. I feel like a heal doing this so early in the game but I didnt think our son would have such a hard time adjusting. I want to be fair to these families too. In your opinion is this enough of a timeframe for them to make other arrangements? I really dont think there is a huge demand for childcare here as it is a very depressed area ecomony wise. Thanks for letting me rant
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Anne 08:13 AM 12-31-2012
sorry the above was me, forgot to login
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CozyHome 05:09 PM 12-31-2012
If you decide to quit the daycare business it would be fair to the families to give them at least a month notice so that they can find another great caregiver. My contract states a minimum of 2 weeks notice for termination or if a family is leaving my daycare so a month or more would be generous of you.
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providerandmomof4 05:51 PM 12-31-2012
I would give a two week notice. Truthfully if you give a six month notice, your families will start looking around, and if they find a dc they like, you will probably lose them a lot sooner than that, and then with your limited hours....you may have a hard time finding dck's. If I were you, I would do what I felt was right for my family...if that meant 1 week notice, then that's what I'd do. People will find other care, you're not locked into a long term contract....this is your business and if it's not working for you, then you have a right to close. I understand that you feel bad because you just opened but believe me....people will understand and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it. Only you know your son and if he will eventually transition to you having a daycare.

One thing I'm not really clear on: Is your son there during dc hours, or at school? How is the dc affecting his anxiety if he is at school? Maybe school is the source of his anxiety? Maybe something has changed there?
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Anne 06:52 AM 01-01-2013
Hi Thank you for your responses
I plan on giving plenty of notice more then just 2 weeks. As a matter of fact I was able to let the one family know yesterday. I know that may bite me in the butt but at least they know way ahead of time.
Yes, he is at school during day. The daycare family arrives abt 2 hours before he leaves for school and is here abt 1 hour after. From what I am hearing from school is he worries abt diff things associated with daycare even while he is at school...like how he will get to bus stop things like that and is very distracted by it. I have the bus stop worked out but he still worries abt it. Just one example of how he sits and worries and has anxiety. Me being home is all he has ever known. He has always been like this and not done well with change at all. I have had some sort of intervention [infants and toddlers etc] since he was 2 because has always had many different problems. I think what I am going to do is let the other family know this week and if they stay on fine if they dont that is ok too and I understand
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kimsdaycare 07:46 AM 01-01-2013
I agree with the others that you don't have to give that much notice, but it is very kind of you to do so. Since your options are close or make changes and you are leaning toward closing entirely without income concerns you have nothing to lose by making whatever changes you feel you need to in the chance that it may work. There are lots of providers that have shorter weeks/ days and they somehow manage to thrive with those kinds of schedules. Some wish they had done it sooner! Your son may just need additional time to adjust and may relax a bit once he has learned to trust that this won't affect him as much as he believes it will. Children with anxiety do not do well with change, but change inevitably happens, no matter how much we try to shelter them from it. Just keep pushing the positives and let him know his needs are your priority and that you would like to give both of you an opportunity for something new and different without any pressure. You can stop any time and in the meantime he has a chance to be a helper and make some new little friends. The additional money gained could give him a chance at some extra allowance and fun stuff that maybe the budget didn't allow for before.

I wish you the best, you are a good mom to be considering his needs so early in this after all you've gone through to start your new daycare.
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Meeko 08:25 AM 01-01-2013
I don't mean to appear unkind and I understand that your situation is hard.

However....change is something your son is going to have to deal with in his life...no matter how hard it is. Could you look at this as a learning experiment for all of you?

I don't mean to get personal, but what if you have to move? What if you have another child? Life changes come to us all whether asked for or not. Changes in employment, births, deaths etc.

I fully appreciate how hard it must be to run your daycare and take the best care you can of your son.

Have you talked to his doctors about the situation...other than an immediate fix? A temporary fix would be to close your daycare. But later on something is going to happen that you cannot change. Maybe something much bigger and more disruptive to his life.

Just a few thoughts. Again, I hope I do not offend you. I just wanted to maybe look at it from another angle.
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MarinaVanessa 08:43 AM 01-01-2013
I think at think at this point you are so worried about your son and his anxiety if one or both of your DC families found childcare elsewhere soon or within the next couple of months and left your DC then to you it wouldn't such a bad thing because things at home would get a little bit back to normal for your son. I am I correct in my assumptions?

I'm also assuming that you don't really need the money since you aren't really worried about having them both go so soon before the summer so I think if this is how you feel then telling them now was a good choice for you.
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Anne 08:47 AM 01-01-2013
Thanks again and no it is not unkind and I have felt and did feel that way even back when I started this process and his anxiety ramped up, I figured he would adjust but he has lost weight now along with all the anxiety so I feel like for his well being I have to make this change. I also want to get him another eval which means a 2.5 hr drive and going abt 3-4 months for follow up or at least that is the way they did it last time this on top of his other appts and having 2 other children I am afraid I would also lose clients just because I would have to close alot to make all this happen. We have no grandparents [all have passed] He has been through alot in the past yr having lost his favorite uncle [my brother ] to suicide. The local dr wants to try meds that scare the daylights out of me because suicide is a side effect in smaller children so my answer was NO he will get eval again somewhere that deals with children only. He is already on his adhd med and that is enough as far as I am concerned I would rather spend the gas and time to take him to pyschologist etc then try another med. I really think as he grows and matures he will do better, I have already seen a huge improvement just from 2 yrs ago and so has his school but every now and again we have a "backslide" and have to regroup. I can even apply at our local school system and be a substitue aid I already went through the fbi fingerprinting etc to do daycare so all is not lost as far as that goes and maybe the local licensing will let me keep an "inactive" license [meaning no children but I comply with my credit hrs needed every yr etc ] until I can figure this out. Thanks again for all the advice and insight
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MarinaVanessa 09:22 AM 01-01-2013
What medication do they want your child to try? My DD has ADHD and impulse control issues and I didn't want her on Ritalin because I didn't want her to "zombie out" so they suggested Strattera. The thing is that all of the ADD and ADHD medication have a disclaimer for possible suicidal thoughts but we had tried everything from changing her diet, therapy, workshops, exercises, routine, consistency etc. so finally we decided to give Starttera a shot. I has possibly been the best decision that my DH and I have made as parents ... she still has her rambunctious energy and her cleverness but she has been able to focus at school control her impulses. Her grades are up and she has less trouble now ... she's the same child just more focused. We work closely with her DR of course and she has a therapist as well and we are still watchful for possible side effects but so far so good. The good thing about this drug is that we can start/stop it at any time with no negative effect to her and it's not addictive. We give it to her on school days and don't give it to her on weekends or school breaks (I'd never expect her teachers to have to deal with her behavior, as parent's we are better equipped at being patient and dealing with her behavior without the medication).

I'm just saying this because you just never know what is out there, who knows ... maybe there is something that will work for him which will help him but you are his mom and only you know what's best for him and your family. I really hope things get better for you guys soon .
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Anne 09:53 AM 01-01-2013
Thank you. right now he is on vyvanse as high was they can go for his age/weight. it works well for him. He cant swallow pills yet as he has texture/sensory things going on too. Vyvanse I can open capsule and mix with something to drink for him. They had suggested prozac or zoloft for him, they both scare me too much. You are right if they leave early that would be in our families best interest but I also want to give them plenty of time to look for the right daycare for them. My husband is a RN so he makes a good living, I was lookin forward to having the extra cash to do fun things with the kids.
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Sprouts 10:10 AM 01-01-2013
Hi welcome! Just curious, maybe u said before ...how old is your son?

I'm sorry you are going through this, but I am also glad to hear that you don't have to rely on child care income to get by....

Does your son have friends that he plays with, is he okay with other children in his class or age range?

If you did want to continue child care maybe u cAn advertise as just part time, like 2 or 3 days a week for short hours?
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Anne 10:42 AM 01-01-2013
he is 8. He does better with girls in his class. use to have no interest what so ever in kids his age. he has gotten ALOT better with that in just this past yr. I have always had an IEP for him at school. he has narrow interests like space, the Presidents of the US, figuring out Math problems etc. he has NEVER played with toys and I mean never. He loves to get on the computer and look up diff presidents etc and he enjoys reading. he also enjoys designing houses on SIMS of all things lol
to be honest in the state I live in I am not sure the amount of money I would make from very limited p/t d/c would be worth it due to all the state regs, classes etc. In 2 yrs I have to turn around and do this all over again to maintain license......everyone over 18 fingerprinting at 55/person, all five of us physicals again, firemarshal pd again 75.00 not to mention I have to get 18 credit hours before nov again. the classes the lic lady showed me was 150.00 cpr/first aid I think was around 100.00 I know there is more but I just cant think of it now. I will have to look into alittle more and maybe I could when I get our son evaluated and try to get our family back to "normal" do like a tues, wed, thurs. I am also looking into sub in school system to see which is a better fit for us
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Anne 12:12 PM 01-01-2013
update
I have let both families know. I feel better already that they are aware of what is going on
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Blackcat31 04:18 PM 01-01-2013
Originally Posted by Anne:
update
I have let both families know. I feel better already that they are aware of what is going on
Notifying families of change IS the hard part so atleast you have that out of the way now.
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Sprouts 07:55 PM 01-01-2013
Just do what is best for your family, everything else will follow. I wish you the best
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Crazy In Mo 08:27 PM 01-01-2013
Kiddos to you for putting your baby first I think just focusing on him is what's important right now! Hope everything works out and he gets "back to normal"
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Anne 06:11 AM 01-02-2013
Thank you
I feel I did what was best for my family [child] but I also took their side into my decision to give them plenty of time to take their time to find a good fit for them. If they leave that is fine, I can then begin to concentrate on my child. Thanks again to all for the advice and support
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