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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>5yr Old DCB Is Too Rough With My 3m Daughter!
Christina72684 08:11 PM 06-22-2011
I just opened last week, and have several PT kids, but one FT 5yr old DCB. He's a typical boy, just like his parents warned us. He plays A LOT, doesn't nap, sometimes lies, and often doesn't listen. I'm okay with most of that, but I'm not okay with how rough he is with my 3 month old baby girl. He constantly wants to get in her face, kissing her all over, tickling her pretty hard, patting her way too hard, tries to pick her up, wants to get in her swing with her, etc. My mom (who works with me) and I constantly ask/tell him to stop and explain that she's fragile and you need to be easy with her, but he just won't listen and stop.

Any advice?
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Auntie 08:16 PM 06-22-2011
Have you told him, that hurts her when you tickle her.

Tell him we don't kiss our friends at daycare kisses are for our mom's and dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents. (family)

Tell him only you are the one to pick up chidren. Children do not pick up children.

One person to the swing.

keep your hands to yourself.
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sharlan 08:16 PM 06-22-2011
I would do whatever it took to keep your baby away from this little boy. NEVER, EVER leave her alone in the same room with him for 30 secs.
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kidkair 08:17 PM 06-22-2011
Enforce a no touching rule. It's tough since you've just started and haven't been able to raise these kids in your care. Check out Nannyde's blog on here as she's got an article about surrendering to baby and not touching or playing with babies who can't move. Put him in time out every time he gets close to the baby and he'll figure it out. Be patient as he's learning about you just as you are learning about him.
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Auntie 08:23 PM 06-22-2011
Oh I thought I read 3 yr old omg a 3 month old wow yeah definately tell him he can NOT touch the baby period.
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laundrymom 08:36 PM 06-22-2011
NO TOUCH MY BABY!!!! Loudly. Period. Each time, every touch. I don't share my babies that young.
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Michael 11:17 PM 06-22-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
NO TOUCH MY BABY!!!! Loudly. Period. Each time, every touch. I don't share my babies that young.

Nannyde had a great article on this called Surrender to the Baby: https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/surr...o-the-baby.htm
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Pammie 04:19 AM 06-23-2011
Around here I have a "no touching babies" rule if the baby is out of my arms. When I'm holding an infant the other children are welcome to shower the baby with affection - but I'm able to super closely monitor all of the touches

My advice is just make it a rule that NO ONE touches the babies unless you're holding them.
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CheekyChick 04:33 AM 06-23-2011
I would simply tell him... Until the baby is a bit older, no touching, tickling, kissing, or touching. PERIOD.
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Meyou 05:26 AM 06-23-2011
We have a don't touch the baby rule as well. Enforced until the babies are walking for the most part. I only take 2 babies at a time and they start later for me due to the long canadian mat leave.

Another thing to consider is that you're dealing with some adjustment behavior too. DCB isn't used to you or your rules and will need lots of reminders before the point is driven home that he has new rules to follow. Not touching the baby is just one of them. Be consistant and he'll figure it out in a few weeks.

Good luck and congrats on your new daycare.
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daysofelijah 05:45 AM 06-23-2011
Eek! No touching babies! Daycare kids may not touch immobile babies. Dcks never, ever, ever pick up a baby. I could lose my license if I was letting kids pick up babies. If I am holding the baby they may possibly be allowed to touch their feet, but that is it! Do not let dcks touch the babies! Scary!
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jen 07:03 AM 06-23-2011
NO touching the babies!
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Cat Herder 07:29 AM 06-23-2011
I set up my playroom so that no child could get to the infants even if they wanted to.

Simplified my life.

It is worth thinking about.
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sahm2three 07:38 AM 06-23-2011
Originally Posted by Christina72684:
I just opened last week, and have several PT kids, but one FT 5yr old DCB. He's a typical boy, just like his parents warned us. He plays A LOT, doesn't nap, sometimes lies, and often doesn't listen. I'm okay with most of that, but I'm not okay with how rough he is with my 3 month old baby girl. He constantly wants to get in her face, kissing her all over, tickling her pretty hard, patting her way too hard, tries to pick her up, wants to get in her swing with her, etc. My mom (who works with me) and I constantly ask/tell him to stop and explain that she's fragile and you need to be easy with her, but he just won't listen and stop.

Any advice?
I sectioned off an area of my living room and most of it is for the 3 and unders and the rest is for infants. I am able to lie them on the floor without having to worry about the toddlers trampling them, they are able to sit in their bouncers or whatever without being pawed at. Maybe you could section off a small area that the older kids aren't allowed to go in to? Otherwise, I would say just lay down the ground rules. Good luck!
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Christina72684 07:59 PM 06-24-2011
Thanks for all the advice! I think one problem he has is that he's the only child I'm watching some days. Other days there are 2 girls there, age 9 and 11, and I let them feed my baby as long as they sit on the couch. I think he might get jealous and since he sees them do it he thinks he should be able to touch her too. I just keep telling him that when he gets older he can, but every now and then he asks, "Am I old enough to touch the baby yet?"
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Unregistered 09:06 PM 06-24-2011
This is a great time to really talk to him about how delicate the baby is, and how to be a good dad when he is grown up. 9 and 11 yos no touch baby either "It was great the first week while we were getting to know each other", you tell them, "and thanks for your help, but its important for me to feed the baby and you guys can visit while I do or go play. "

Babies are exciting and he does want to play, so get some big baby dolls for the crew and let him mimic you with his. Also - invest in an Ergo and do not let the Baby out of your arms or eyesight for a split second.

Keep your numbers low and manageable and take baby off with your mom to a quiet room part of the time. Never leave baby unattended - Your mom takes a break with the baby too.
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Abigail 09:21 PM 06-24-2011
I would never let the kids start helping with the baby at such a young age. When you start, it just gets worse. We have a 5 and 6 month old and soon a 6 week old. I personally don't let ANY child--sibling or not--get closer than an arms length. I explain to the child that only the teachers (my co-workers and I) are allowed to handle the babies. All kids need to stay an arms length away and I explain that it's because babies can't say "Hey, give me some space please" because they're too little so I do it for them until they're old enough....close to 12 months really.
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Hunni Bee 02:41 AM 06-25-2011
Originally Posted by Christina72684:
Other days there are 2 girls there, age 9 and 11, and I let them feed my baby as long as they sit on the couch.
Yeah, that's risky. They may be gentle and responsible, but your daughter is too young to let other children feed/care for her. She could choke and the children may not even notice. (I'm sure you're close by, but still...) Plus I don't know what the regs are in your area, but we could get into big trouble here for allowing children to care for other children...but it is your own daughter, so I'm not sure.

I would do a no-touching (or a feet-only) rule for the baby with everybody. The 5yo really doesn't get that he's too young and rough to play/touch the baby, all he sees is he's the only one who can't. So it's going to continue to the be sore spot with him, especially since there aren't any other kids there his age yet (I'm assuming).
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Tags:age appropriate - physical activity, infants - safe environment, rough play, supervision - active vs. passive
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