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TwinKristi 10:53 AM 12-12-2013
So what are your policies for young children using manners? I have a DCB who's 22mos and VERY verbal. Can speak in sentences and communicates his needs well but absolutely refuses to say please unless you say "say please" and he'll repeat it but for example if you ask him to say "more crackers please" he will say "more crackers" or even "I want more crackers" but not the please. His mom claims he says it at home but needs to e prompted but I'm gathering it's he same there. His sister rarely says please or thank you either unless prompted. I would obviously not withhold food from a child but it's so frustrating when 2 of the 3 with less language skills say it but he won't. Am I just being old fashioned? Btw- I tried searching for this in tags and found more having to do with etiquette rather than just please/thank you.
daycarediva 11:00 AM 12-12-2013
I have found that modeling and time work best with these types of children. It isn't something he probably hears said often, so he doesn't see the purpose. So I would just say it for him "Thank you for the milk, Miss. M. Oh, you're welcome J."
I also phrase things as a statement/observation, and not a command and the kids seem to be more cooperative if it's their idea.
eg. You didn't say please. I didn't hear a thank you.
or
"There are too many toys out!" "I hear yelling." "I see running feet."
I also phrase things as a statement/observation, and not a command and the kids seem to be more cooperative if it's their idea.
eg. You didn't say please. I didn't hear a thank you.
or
"There are too many toys out!" "I hear yelling." "I see running feet."
melilley 11:04 AM 12-12-2013
I have two, two year olds and one almost always says please and thank you, but sometimes I do have to remind him. The other 2 year old needs to be prompted every time to say it. I also have a 3 year old who always says please and thank you.
I think it has a lot to do with what they are required to say at home. I know my one 2 year old who almost always says please and thank you, has parents who make him say it every time he wants/gets something so he's used to saying it.
As for my other 2 year old, I don't think his parents make him say it so I have to remind him when he is here.
My 3 yo's parents have her say please and thank you so she always does.
If they don't have to say it at home, how would they know that they should say it..kwim? They prob aren't making him say it at home, that's my bet.
I think it has a lot to do with what they are required to say at home. I know my one 2 year old who almost always says please and thank you, has parents who make him say it every time he wants/gets something so he's used to saying it.
As for my other 2 year old, I don't think his parents make him say it so I have to remind him when he is here.
My 3 yo's parents have her say please and thank you so she always does.
If they don't have to say it at home, how would they know that they should say it..kwim? They prob aren't making him say it at home, that's my bet.
preschoolteacher 11:20 AM 12-12-2013
I like please and thank you, too.
I do what a PP said. If someone says, "More!" I'll say, "More milk, please." And then when I hand it to them I say, "Thank you, ____ (my name)." And then I say "You're welcome!"
It totally feels like I am talking to myself, but it works. My group is all under 2.5 and they are all learning to say please and thank you. The ones who aren't talking are doing it in baby sign.
I do what a PP said. If someone says, "More!" I'll say, "More milk, please." And then when I hand it to them I say, "Thank you, ____ (my name)." And then I say "You're welcome!"
It totally feels like I am talking to myself, but it works. My group is all under 2.5 and they are all learning to say please and thank you. The ones who aren't talking are doing it in baby sign.
caregiver 11:43 AM 12-12-2013
I also like Please & Thank You! So many kids are not being taught manners from their parents today. I have a 4 yr old DCB who is always saying " I want " and I will say to him, what do we say when we want something and then he will finally say Please and Thank You.
I had a 3 yr old DCB who could talk really well, but when he wanted something he would do the sign language for Please instead of saying it. I kept trying to get him to say the word "please", but he refused and kept doing sign language for it. His verbal communication was really good and I know he could say it,but just would not do so. Told his Mom about it and she said"Oh, if he wants to do the sign for it, let him", but I said he is old enough and should be saying the word now, not doing the sign. But she disagreed and would not make him actually say the word. That really irked me as he was old enough to say the word at 3 yrs of age. He was already talking in sentences, so why should he not say Please, just laziness on the Mom's part or just giving in.
I had a 3 yr old DCB who could talk really well, but when he wanted something he would do the sign language for Please instead of saying it. I kept trying to get him to say the word "please", but he refused and kept doing sign language for it. His verbal communication was really good and I know he could say it,but just would not do so. Told his Mom about it and she said"Oh, if he wants to do the sign for it, let him", but I said he is old enough and should be saying the word now, not doing the sign. But she disagreed and would not make him actually say the word. That really irked me as he was old enough to say the word at 3 yrs of age. He was already talking in sentences, so why should he not say Please, just laziness on the Mom's part or just giving in.
TwinKristi 11:45 AM 12-12-2013
Well that's the funny part, mom always claims the kids say it at home. 
but I think it's when prompted and not very often because they're "busy" after work. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't expecting too much. I also say it like I'm talking to myself and the other 2 say it just fine this one just won't do it. I only have him through next week but I don't want his preschool to think I don't enforce manners or something. They have referred people to me in the past so I'd like to keep it that way. But if the sister doesn't use it here unless prompted she probably doesn't at school either since she's there 4 days a week! The other boy I used to watch who goes there as well didn't have very good manners either so maybe they won't even notice he refuses to say it. LOL
but I think it's when prompted and not very often because they're "busy" after work. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't expecting too much. I also say it like I'm talking to myself and the other 2 say it just fine this one just won't do it. I only have him through next week but I don't want his preschool to think I don't enforce manners or something. They have referred people to me in the past so I'd like to keep it that way. But if the sister doesn't use it here unless prompted she probably doesn't at school either since she's there 4 days a week! The other boy I used to watch who goes there as well didn't have very good manners either so maybe they won't even notice he refuses to say it. LOL
Blackcat31 11:50 AM 12-12-2013
I start out teaching the really young kids the sign language sings for please and thank you.
Once they master the signs, they are required to say/sign please and thank you.
Works fantastic when they learn as an infant and then can't always communicate those words as they age into toddlerhood.
I would just continue modeling proper manners. If he forgets, just say what you want him to say and have him repeat it.
After while, he'll just do it on his own.
Once they master the signs, they are required to say/sign please and thank you.
Works fantastic when they learn as an infant and then can't always communicate those words as they age into toddlerhood.
I would just continue modeling proper manners. If he forgets, just say what you want him to say and have him repeat it.
After while, he'll just do it on his own.
AcornMama 12:46 PM 12-12-2013
We work on please and thank you around here. And we're in the South, so we do "yes ma'am" as well. 
The problem I'm having is I have two dcg's that almost always mumble answers to questions. I have to constantly stop and model clear answers for them: "Yes, I'd like a snack" or "No, I don't want to color." Sometimes I throw the please or thank you into my modeled response. Sometimes I'm just happy for a clear yes or no. It's weird, but answering a direct question is the only time I hear this. And these girls are older threes.
And then I have dcb (4), who's just the cutest thing, who says "ut" like someone might say "um." So all day long his sentences and questions are separated by "ut."
Guess this is off of the please and thank you topic.
The problem I'm having is I have two dcg's that almost always mumble answers to questions. I have to constantly stop and model clear answers for them: "Yes, I'd like a snack" or "No, I don't want to color." Sometimes I throw the please or thank you into my modeled response. Sometimes I'm just happy for a clear yes or no. It's weird, but answering a direct question is the only time I hear this. And these girls are older threes.
And then I have dcb (4), who's just the cutest thing, who says "ut" like someone might say "um." So all day long his sentences and questions are separated by "ut."
Guess this is off of the please and thank you topic.
Cradle2crayons 01:13 PM 12-12-2013
Originally Posted by AcornMama:
We work on please and thank you around here. And we're in the South, so we do "yes ma'am" as well.
The problem I'm having is I have two dcg's that almost always mumble answers to questions. I have to constantly stop and model clear answers for them: "Yes, I'd like a snack" or "No, I don't want to color." Sometimes I throw the please or thank you into my modeled response. Sometimes I'm just happy for a clear yes or no. It's weird, but answering a direct question is the only time I hear this. And these girls are older threes.
And then I have dcb (4), who's just the cutest thing, who says "ut" like someone might say "um." So all day long his sentences and questions are separated by "ut."
Guess this is off of the please and thank you topic.
All of my own and the daycare kids are REQUIRED to say please, thank you, excuse me (when applicable), and yes/no ma'am and sir. Most of them don't come here saying it but they learn quickly. They also hear all adults use it all day every day here. I model it by even saying it to the children. If my son says "mama?" I say "sir?"We work on please and thank you around here. And we're in the South, so we do "yes ma'am" as well.
The problem I'm having is I have two dcg's that almost always mumble answers to questions. I have to constantly stop and model clear answers for them: "Yes, I'd like a snack" or "No, I don't want to color." Sometimes I throw the please or thank you into my modeled response. Sometimes I'm just happy for a clear yes or no. It's weird, but answering a direct question is the only time I hear this. And these girls are older threes.
And then I have dcb (4), who's just the cutest thing, who says "ut" like someone might say "um." So all day long his sentences and questions are separated by "ut."
Guess this is off of the please and thank you topic.
itlw8 01:24 PM 12-12-2013
22 months even if he is more verbal that really has nothing to do with saying please especially unprompted. It will come. They learn by hearing it and not so much say please may I have a cracker but instead hearing others using the word.
If you want something from him may I have the truck please... please may I--- Ask Parents to do the same thing. The more a child hears adults use the word ( and most do not) the more likely it will be part of his vocabulary. At this age it is not even manners it is a word to be added to his vocabulary.
If you want something from him may I have the truck please... please may I--- Ask Parents to do the same thing. The more a child hears adults use the word ( and most do not) the more likely it will be part of his vocabulary. At this age it is not even manners it is a word to be added to his vocabulary.