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  #1  
Old 02-03-2011, 07:59 AM
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Default Dcd Being Passive Aggressive (Kinda Long)

I asked dcd to pick up his child right after work on Tuesday because we were having a very bad snow storm (10" of snow and 40 mph winds). He showed up very early at 11am (because his office closed due to weather) with an attitude. He said, "I rushed here as soon as I left work" he was very hostile.

Yesterday the roads were still not plowed and he never showed up to bring dcg. He finally called at 11:30am and said he was keeping her home with him, but he still seemed to be having an attitude about it.

Today he calls me at at 8:30am (she normally comes at 7:30am) and says "are you open TODAY!!" in a real snotty way. (I never "closed" i just asked him to pick her up before the weather got too bad and the streets became impassable). I said of course I am and he said he would bring dcg in a little while. He shows up at about 9:15am and just sets her down real fast and says "she gave herself a haircut yesterday, I will be back to pick her up after lunch!" and huffs out of the house. She is usually here til 5pm Her bangs are chopped all the way to her scalp.

Is he really mad at me because I was worried about his daughters safety? Our city was declared a "state of emergency" and almost all businesses were closed on Tuesday and some on Wednesday as well because the plows could not get to them. My husbands office was closed due to weather for the first time in the 11 years he has worked there. All of my other daycare families kept their kids home both days. Should I say something to him???
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:04 AM
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I wouldn't, but I'm not a confrontational sort of person. He might just be having a bad string of days or something.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:10 AM
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Live and Learn Live and Learn is offline
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Ignore him.

1. he might be really irritated at mother nature for dumping all of this bad weather on him and it might be affecting deadlines at his work.
2. He might be irritated to have to watch his own child because of the weather.
3. He is probably pretty embarrassed that his child watching skills are so poor that his daughter cut her bangs off. She could have put her eye out! can you imagine his snarky attitude if she had cut her bangs off at your house!!?

Put a smile on your face and go out of your way to be nothing but super sweet to him. I imagine his bad attitude will taper off with the bad weather.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Live and Learn View Post
Ignore him.

1. he might be really irritated at mother nature for dumping all of this bad weather on him and it might be affecting deadlines at his work.
2. He might be irritated to have to watch his own child because of the weather.
3. He is probably pretty embarrassed that his child watching skills are so poor that his daughter cut her bangs off. She could have put her eye out! can you imagine his snarky attitude if she had cut her bangs off at your house!!?

Put a smile on your face and go out of your way to be nothing but super sweet to him. I imagine his bad attitude will taper off with the bad weather.
I agree with this!
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:38 AM
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What would you even say? There is nothing to say because he doesn't care. He is a jerk and that is that. If you don't like it, replace him with a family who isn't jerks.
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:00 AM
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Does he usually pick his daughter up right after work or does he usually make other stops first?
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:02 AM
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I would be nice as pie to him. I'd not say a thing unless this continued next week. If it continues I would stop him, look him in the eye and say" you have been treating me badly since the moment I asked you to pick up asap because of the weather. I wasnt being mean, I was already where I needed to be. I was trying to be curtious to you. By alerting you to the road conditions in my area. Next time I won't alert you. But if your attitude doesn't improve I will be terminating our agreement. It's not fair for me to be punished for caring about you getting Sally picked up safely. Then do the stare.
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:03 AM
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I was just thinking about asking him if there was something wrong. In a really nice way say something like, "Dcd, you seem upset, is everything ok?"

I just feel like I should say something, I do not like that he thinks its OK to be a jerk to me. Plus, if he has a problem with me I wish he would just tell me. I feel like he is blaming me for the weather, the bangs and the whole thing!

I have taken care of his daughter since she was 6 weeks old and she is now 3 and a half and she was a very difficult baby. I deserve respect, not his bad attitude.
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:07 AM
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Does he usually pick his daughter up right after work or does he usually make other stops first?
Dcm usually drops off and picks up. He usually only comes now and then. Lately, he has been dropping off or picking up about once a week.
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by laundrymom View Post
I would be nice as pie to him. I'd not say a thing unless this continued next week. If it continues I would stop him, look him in the eye and say" you have been treating me badly since the moment I asked you to pick up asap because of the weather. I wasnt being mean, I was already where I needed to be. I was trying to be curtious to you. By alerting you to the road conditions in my area. Next time I won't alert you. But if your attitude doesn't improve I will be terminating our agreement. It's not fair for me to be punished for caring about you getting Sally picked up safely. Then do the stare.
I like this approach. Give him an opportunity to grow up on his own, first, but if he doesn't, call him on it - all the while being pleasant and professional, of course .
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Old 02-03-2011, 11:13 AM
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I would not take it personal at all. Maybe he is having issues at work or in his own personal life and is having a hard time coping. I would let it pass and if he still continues to be an A** to you, then ask him....
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