Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Sex Offender Issue
TickleMonster 03:13 PM 06-09-2014
This is such a mess. Ok I'll start by saying that we are a legally unlicensed daycare. We stay under the maximum number of kids so that we do not have to be licensed or registered. That has never been an issue until today. We regularly check the sex offenders website and found that at the end of May a sex offender registered and lives RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET!!!! OMG! And this person has molested children! We immediately called the sheriffs department and told them the whole situation and they said since we are not a licensed daycare, this person is not breaking any sex offender laws. This is horrible. They said just keep an eye out for any issues and be careful. Ummm this is not good and is making me want to move.
grandmom 03:17 PM 06-09-2014
How much trouble would it be for you to become registered?
Unfortunately they are everywhere. Sorry you are dealing with this.
Unfortunately they are everywhere. Sorry you are dealing with this.
playground1 03:17 PM 06-09-2014
Do you see any reason that this person could or would come in contact with your dck?
NightOwl 03:20 PM 06-09-2014
That is NOT good. I'm thinking you may need to notify your parents and they will be VERY unhappy. You will probably lose some over this. Have you considered getting that license? I know it's nice not being under the watchful eye of big brother, but this could seriously harm your business. Even ruin it.
Michael 03:21 PM 06-09-2014
You are aware of this person and that empowers you. I would try to get registered. There are obvious benefits.
playground1 03:24 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
That is NOT good. I'm thinking you may need to notify your parents and they will be VERY unhappy. You will probably lose some over this. Have you considered getting that license? I know it's nice not being under the watchful eye of big brother, but this could seriously harm your business. Even ruin it.
Serious question, why would she be obligated to notify the parents? No one is breaking any laws, right? This person was registered AFTER she started her business, so there's no breach of trust.That is NOT good. I'm thinking you may need to notify your parents and they will be VERY unhappy. You will probably lose some over this. Have you considered getting that license? I know it's nice not being under the watchful eye of big brother, but this could seriously harm your business. Even ruin it.
I guess I don't understand what the big deal is.
CraftyMom 04:03 PM 06-09-2014
What would being licensed have anything to do with it? Did this person just move in?
You can't make him move (not aware of your state's laws though)
We have a registered offender 5 houses down. I know who is what he looks like, my kids know the same. My dck are never out of my sight, he has never bothered us in the 12 years we have been here.
I suggest being informed, being aware and keeping your eyes and ears open.
You can't make him move (not aware of your state's laws though)
We have a registered offender 5 houses down. I know who is what he looks like, my kids know the same. My dck are never out of my sight, he has never bothered us in the 12 years we have been here.
I suggest being informed, being aware and keeping your eyes and ears open.
CraftyMom 04:04 PM 06-09-2014
For what it's worth, you could have 3 more in your neighborhood that ARE NOT registered, that you DON'T KNOW about! Those are the dangerous ones.
NightOwl 04:16 PM 06-09-2014
I would feel obligated to tell my parents, but that's just me. I think it's the ethical thing to do. If my own child was in a home daycare and I found out that my provider knew a sex offender lived right across the street and didn't tell me? I'd be gone. Total loss of trust. If she did tell me, I could make the decision for myself as to whether or not to keep my child there. I feel like that is a decision for the parents to make, not for the provider to make for them. She could also open herself up to a potential lawsuit if, God forbid, he comes in contact with one of the dcks and the parents find out that she knew and didn't inform them.
NightOwl 04:18 PM 06-09-2014
And I'll point out that I'm hyper sensitive to the subject because, I just am. You can assume why.
CraftyMom 04:22 PM 06-09-2014
I agree the parents should be notified since this is RIGHT across the street. I do think it would be stirring up a hornet's nest though
But I think op has the advantage since she is aware of him. If he weren't registered she would have no idea.
But I think op has the advantage since she is aware of him. If he weren't registered she would have no idea.
NightOwl 04:26 PM 06-09-2014
Hell, put a big sign in your front yard, facing his house, that says "I know what you did. STAY AWAY". Lolol. I'm not joking...
Cradle2crayons 04:33 PM 06-09-2014
I'm going to be the odd one out also.....
I wouldn't notify parents... And I wouldn't license just because of the offender.
I would keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not as bothered by he registered ones as I am the ones who are under the radar.
Why notify parents and start an all out war and then you can guarantee you'll never have another client. Your parents trust you to keep their kids safe. Now tat you know of the offender you simply do what you have been doing. You keep the kids safe by doing what you would do before you knew about the offender.
I understand why yu are concerned. But the fact of the matter is.... The fact is that knowing the information doesn't change he quality of care YOU provide. It just arms you with valuable information.
I wouldn't notify parents... And I wouldn't license just because of the offender.
I would keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not as bothered by he registered ones as I am the ones who are under the radar.
Why notify parents and start an all out war and then you can guarantee you'll never have another client. Your parents trust you to keep their kids safe. Now tat you know of the offender you simply do what you have been doing. You keep the kids safe by doing what you would do before you knew about the offender.
I understand why yu are concerned. But the fact of the matter is.... The fact is that knowing the information doesn't change he quality of care YOU provide. It just arms you with valuable information.
Blackcat31 04:37 PM 06-09-2014
The registered sex offenders are the ones authorities are tracking. I wouldn't worry.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
NightOwl 04:42 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
I'm going to be the odd one out also.....
I wouldn't notify parents... And I wouldn't license just because of the offender.
I would keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not as bothered by he registered ones as I am the ones who are under the radar.
Why notify parents and start an all out war and then you can guarantee you'll never have another client. Your parents trust you to keep their kids safe. Now tat you know of the offender you simply do what you have been doing. You keep the kids safe by doing what you would do before you knew about the offender.
I understand why yu are concerned. But the fact of the matter is.... The fact is that knowing the information doesn't change he quality of care YOU provide. It just arms you with valuable information.
True, but what happens when her parents do a sex offender search and see this info? People do it routinely now because it's so much easier to access the information these days. I'm going to be the odd one out also.....
I wouldn't notify parents... And I wouldn't license just because of the offender.
I would keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not as bothered by he registered ones as I am the ones who are under the radar.
Why notify parents and start an all out war and then you can guarantee you'll never have another client. Your parents trust you to keep their kids safe. Now tat you know of the offender you simply do what you have been doing. You keep the kids safe by doing what you would do before you knew about the offender.
I understand why yu are concerned. But the fact of the matter is.... The fact is that knowing the information doesn't change he quality of care YOU provide. It just arms you with valuable information.
Then they're angry she didn't tell them? Then they withdraw their children and tell all their friends and family that she kept this secret? Then she's ruined. This is a hypothetical consequence of not telling, but it is a very realistic hypothetical consequence that I can easily see happening.
Unregistered 04:43 PM 06-09-2014
Where I live, licensed daycares are supposed to be informed if a registered sex offender moves in within a certain distance. They are notified for a lower level of offender than what the entire neighborhood is notified for. And not allowed to tell parents, certainly not allowed to put up a sign. Also not allowed to distribute the info sheet that daycares get about the sex offender or to alter it in any way.
So basically they just get the info for their own knowledge, to keep their kids safe and to be on the watch for that person. Licensed daycares also have to be outside if any of their kids are outside, under school age. So the real risk would only be with the school age kids - that is where a daycare should probably feel the need to change supervision levels.
So basically they just get the info for their own knowledge, to keep their kids safe and to be on the watch for that person. Licensed daycares also have to be outside if any of their kids are outside, under school age. So the real risk would only be with the school age kids - that is where a daycare should probably feel the need to change supervision levels.
Blackcat31 04:43 PM 06-09-2014
Also, an 18 yr old who dates a 16 yr old COULD be found a sex offender.
The 16 yr old would also be considered a minor (not necessarily a child but still a minor).
On paper the 18 yr old would be registered as a sex offender that committed a crime against a minor child.
Sometimes unless we know the whole story, we should assume or judge.
What we can do is protect yourself and make sure you do what you need to do to supervise the children in your care.
If none of them are ever left unsupervised, you really have nothing to worry about.
The guy living down the block from you could be a sex offender that has done far worse and has yet to be caught.
One never knows
The 16 yr old would also be considered a minor (not necessarily a child but still a minor).
On paper the 18 yr old would be registered as a sex offender that committed a crime against a minor child.
Sometimes unless we know the whole story, we should assume or judge.
What we can do is protect yourself and make sure you do what you need to do to supervise the children in your care.
If none of them are ever left unsupervised, you really have nothing to worry about.
The guy living down the block from you could be a sex offender that has done far worse and has yet to be caught.
One never knows
NightOwl 04:43 PM 06-09-2014
I also see this thread getting HOT. lol.
sharlan 04:43 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
The registered sex offenders are the ones authorities are tracking. I wouldn't worry.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
Unless you plan on leaving the children in your care unsupervised, you have nothing to worry about. For all you know, he could have been arrested for having sex with his underaged girlfriend.The registered sex offenders are the ones authorities are tracking. I wouldn't worry.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
If you were molested as a child, then you know that the majority (no I don't know the actual figures) of children are molested by people known to them with open access.
Blackcat31 04:45 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
True, but what happens when her parents do a sex offender search and see this info? People do it routinely now because it's so much easier to access the information these days.
Then they're angry she didn't tell them? Then they withdraw their children and tell all their friends and family that she kept this secret? Then she's ruined. This is a hypothetical consequence of not telling, but it is a very realistic hypothetical consequence that I can easily see happening.
I've seen several offender registration sites that were FULL of errors and inaccurate information. True, but what happens when her parents do a sex offender search and see this info? People do it routinely now because it's so much easier to access the information these days.
Then they're angry she didn't tell them? Then they withdraw their children and tell all their friends and family that she kept this secret? Then she's ruined. This is a hypothetical consequence of not telling, but it is a very realistic hypothetical consequence that I can easily see happening.
Kind of like mapquest...it never really gets you to where you wanted to go.
Close but not always perfect
NightOwl 04:46 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Also, an 18 yr old who dates a 16 yr old COULD be found a sex offender.
The 16 yr old would also be considered a minor (not necessarily a child but still a minor).
On paper the 18 yr old would be registered as a sex offender that committed a crime against a minor child.
Sometimes unless we know the whole story, we should assume or judge.
What we can do is protect yourself and make sure you do what you need to do to supervise the children in your care.
If none of them are ever left unsupervised, you really have nothing to worry about.
The guy living down the block from you could be a sex offender that has done far worse and has yet to be caught.
One never knows
But that's not the case here. She said she checked the site and he's a child molester.Also, an 18 yr old who dates a 16 yr old COULD be found a sex offender.
The 16 yr old would also be considered a minor (not necessarily a child but still a minor).
On paper the 18 yr old would be registered as a sex offender that committed a crime against a minor child.
Sometimes unless we know the whole story, we should assume or judge.
What we can do is protect yourself and make sure you do what you need to do to supervise the children in your care.
If none of them are ever left unsupervised, you really have nothing to worry about.
The guy living down the block from you could be a sex offender that has done far worse and has yet to be caught.
One never knows
Blackcat31 04:49 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
But that's not the case here. She said she checked the site and he's a child molester.
Like I said above, a child molester COULD possibly mean an underage minor. But that's not the case here. She said she checked the site and he's a child molester.
It didn't say 3 yr old.
Here are other threads about this subject https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=sex+offender
NeedaVaca 04:54 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
The registered sex offenders are the ones authorities are tracking. I wouldn't worry.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
I think the OP mentioned not being licensed because some states have laws that a registered sex offender can't live within so many feet of a school or daycare. The registered sex offenders are the ones authorities are tracking. I wouldn't worry.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
OP-I also am in the "wouldn't say anything" camp for all the reasons PP's have mentioned. I would think about this before you make any decisions.
NightOwl 04:58 PM 06-09-2014
I'm not sure about other states, but here, it specifically says if it's a child under the age of 12. So you know if it was truly a child or an under age girlfriend.
TickleMonster 05:00 PM 06-09-2014
First of all Thanks to everyone giving input But let me straighten one thing out. This person is in their 40's with 3 offenses, 1 in the year 2000 against a 10 yr old girl, then again in 2004 after being released with another 10 yr old girl and the last one was in 2009 and that was a 6 yr old girl. What worries us that he is a multiple offender. The dck's are NEVER unsupervised outdoors or in one of us is always there at all times.
NightOwl 05:01 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Where I live, licensed daycares are supposed to be informed if a registered sex offender moves in within a certain distance. They are notified for a lower level of offender than what the entire neighborhood is notified for. And not allowed to tell parents, certainly not allowed to put up a sign. Also not allowed to distribute the info sheet that daycares get about the sex offender or to alter it in any way.
So basically they just get the info for their own knowledge, to keep their kids safe and to be on the watch for that person. Licensed daycares also have to be outside if any of their kids are outside, under school age. So the real risk would only be with the school age kids - that is where a daycare should probably feel the need to change supervision levels.
Omg... Not allowed to notify parents? So they're protecting the sex offender's privacy? This is absolutely crazy. May I ask which state you live in?Where I live, licensed daycares are supposed to be informed if a registered sex offender moves in within a certain distance. They are notified for a lower level of offender than what the entire neighborhood is notified for. And not allowed to tell parents, certainly not allowed to put up a sign. Also not allowed to distribute the info sheet that daycares get about the sex offender or to alter it in any way.
So basically they just get the info for their own knowledge, to keep their kids safe and to be on the watch for that person. Licensed daycares also have to be outside if any of their kids are outside, under school age. So the real risk would only be with the school age kids - that is where a daycare should probably feel the need to change supervision levels.
NightOwl 05:03 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by TickleMonster:
First of all Thanks to everyone giving input But let me straighten one thing out. This person is in their 40's with 3 offenses, 1 in the year 2000 against a 10 yr old girl, then again in 2004 after being released with another 10 yr old girl and the last one was in 2009 and that was a 6 yr old girl. What worries us that he is a multiple offender. The dck's are NEVER unsupervised outdoors or in one of us is always there at all times.
So he's a repeat offender who will likely offend again. Get that license tickle! Make him move!!First of all Thanks to everyone giving input But let me straighten one thing out. This person is in their 40's with 3 offenses, 1 in the year 2000 against a 10 yr old girl, then again in 2004 after being released with another 10 yr old girl and the last one was in 2009 and that was a 6 yr old girl. What worries us that he is a multiple offender. The dck's are NEVER unsupervised outdoors or in one of us is always there at all times.
Blackcat31 05:09 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by TickleMonster:
First of all Thanks to everyone giving input But let me straighten one thing out. This person is in their 40's with 3 offenses, 1 in the year 2000 against a 10 yr old girl, then again in 2004 after being released with another 10 yr old girl and the last one was in 2009 and that was a 6 yr old girl. What worries us that he is a multiple offender. The dck's are NEVER unsupervised outdoors or in one of us is always there at all times.
Were the victims relatives?First of all Thanks to everyone giving input But let me straighten one thing out. This person is in their 40's with 3 offenses, 1 in the year 2000 against a 10 yr old girl, then again in 2004 after being released with another 10 yr old girl and the last one was in 2009 and that was a 6 yr old girl. What worries us that he is a multiple offender. The dck's are NEVER unsupervised outdoors or in one of us is always there at all times.
Unregistered 05:09 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Omg... Not allowed to notify parents? So they're protecting the sex offender's privacy? This is absolutely crazy. May I ask which state you live in?
MinnesotaOmg... Not allowed to notify parents? So they're protecting the sex offender's privacy? This is absolutely crazy. May I ask which state you live in?
Blackcat31 05:12 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Where I live, licensed daycares are supposed to be informed if a registered sex offender moves in within a certain distance. They are notified for a lower level of offender than what the entire neighborhood is notified for. And not allowed to tell parents, certainly not allowed to put up a sign. Also not allowed to distribute the info sheet that daycares get about the sex offender or to alter it in any way.
So basically they just get the info for their own knowledge, to keep their kids safe and to be on the watch for that person. Licensed daycares also have to be outside if any of their kids are outside, under school age. So the real risk would only be with the school age kids - that is where a daycare should probably feel the need to change supervision levels.
Where I live, licensed daycares are supposed to be informed if a registered sex offender moves in within a certain distance. They are notified for a lower level of offender than what the entire neighborhood is notified for. And not allowed to tell parents, certainly not allowed to put up a sign. Also not allowed to distribute the info sheet that daycares get about the sex offender or to alter it in any way.
So basically they just get the info for their own knowledge, to keep their kids safe and to be on the watch for that person. Licensed daycares also have to be outside if any of their kids are outside, under school age. So the real risk would only be with the school age kids - that is where a daycare should probably feel the need to change supervision levels.
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Minnesota
Is that a licensing regulation? If so, could you post the link?Minnesota
I am also in MN
CraftyMom 05:24 PM 06-09-2014
I understand that a registered offender can not be within so many feet of a daycare, etc. But can you really make them move?
TickleMonster 05:26 PM 06-09-2014
All the offenses that occurred we have no idea if they were related
NightOwl 05:26 PM 06-09-2014
Absolutely. It's the law here.
Unregistered 05:28 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
So he's a repeat offender who will likely offend again. Get that license tickle! Make him move!!
Most likely won't make a difference. He would be grandfathered in to the address before she was licensed.. Now the next offender can't move in next door. Licensing may have some requirements such as supervision of school agers coming and going, a privacy fence around your property, ect.. I wouldn't notify parents. I understand your gut instinct to tell them but you may lose business and there is nothing they can do except worry.So he's a repeat offender who will likely offend again. Get that license tickle! Make him move!!
Laurel 05:56 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
The registered sex offenders are the ones authorities are tracking. I wouldn't worry.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
The registered sex offenders are the ones authorities are tracking. I wouldn't worry.
Its the ones who haven't been caught yet that would worry me.
I also would not notify parents....what exactly are they suppose to do?
I will never understand why people freak about REGISTERED offenders. Registered means someone knows where they are and is monitoring them.
This also has NOTHING to do with whether OP is licensed or not.
My state notifies anyone wishing to be on a mailing list the whereabouts of registered offenders.
I also think it's fair to mention that there are different levels of offenders. Some may be likely to re-offend but some did their time, paid their debt to society and just want to move on.
Sensationalizing stuff like this by prematurely notifying parents is what creates drama in this type of thing.
Laurel
CraftyMom 05:58 PM 06-09-2014
Here's my take, as the provider it is our responsibility to supervise children at all times and keep them safe. This means safe from everyone, regardless of whether or not they are registered as an offender. Knowing where a sex offender lives gives us a heads up, but there are many, many that we are unaware of, therefore we must take precautions to keep our kids safe, which we do on a daily basis. If you know that one lives close by then familiarize yourself with his face. Look him in the eye if you see him. Let him know that you know he is there and you are not afraid. Teach your kids about strangers. Do not leave the kids alone for a second outside.
As a parent, it is our responsibility to make sure our own kids are safe. This goes for dcp's as well. It is THEIR job to keep their kids safe., including checking SOR. They should be making themselves aware of sex offenders in their own neighborhood, around their children's schools and also the daycare where they send their children. Should they do this, they would see that one lives across the street and it would be up to them where they go from there.
If they are not actively making themselves aware then it isn't much of a concern. Bringing it to their attention makes it a concern, when in fact the truth is they are safer for the fact that YOU are aware. Also the fact that children will not be outside unsupervised and strangers are not let into your home keeps them safe.
As a parent, it is our responsibility to make sure our own kids are safe. This goes for dcp's as well. It is THEIR job to keep their kids safe., including checking SOR. They should be making themselves aware of sex offenders in their own neighborhood, around their children's schools and also the daycare where they send their children. Should they do this, they would see that one lives across the street and it would be up to them where they go from there.
If they are not actively making themselves aware then it isn't much of a concern. Bringing it to their attention makes it a concern, when in fact the truth is they are safer for the fact that YOU are aware. Also the fact that children will not be outside unsupervised and strangers are not let into your home keeps them safe.
CraftyMom 06:05 PM 06-09-2014
As I mentioned there is an offender on our street. I do not let that stop me from taking walks with my own children past his house. I WANT my kids to know what he looks like. I WANT him to know that we know he lives there. I show my kids his picture on the computer.
My daughter one day, then about 6, asked me "is that the bad man?" I told her "yes it is, take a good look at him." I made sure he heard us.
My daughter one day, then about 6, asked me "is that the bad man?" I told her "yes it is, take a good look at him." I made sure he heard us.
Laurel 06:05 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
True, but what happens when her parents do a sex offender search and see this info? People do it routinely now because it's so much easier to access the information these days.
Then they're angry she didn't tell them? Then they withdraw their children and tell all their friends and family that she kept this secret? Then she's ruined. This is a hypothetical consequence of not telling, but it is a very realistic hypothetical consequence that I can easily see happening.
I personally think there is a bigger risk by telling them. She has more chance of losing children by telling. People will get all riled up when nothing has happened or is likely to with great supervision. The parents won't know that she already knew. How would they? So I don't see why they would blame her. Plus, the people who live on either side of her could ALSO be sex offenders but not registered.True, but what happens when her parents do a sex offender search and see this info? People do it routinely now because it's so much easier to access the information these days.
Then they're angry she didn't tell them? Then they withdraw their children and tell all their friends and family that she kept this secret? Then she's ruined. This is a hypothetical consequence of not telling, but it is a very realistic hypothetical consequence that I can easily see happening.
IF OP is better protected by being registered/licensed then I would get registered. I guess in that instance this guy could be required to move as he is so close to a daycare. I would check into it myself and see exactly how the law read. I wouldn't take just the one cop's word for it.
Laurel
CraftyMom 06:10 PM 06-09-2014
I have to double check, but last I knew in my state if a sex offender already existed in the neighborhood before the daycare was opened they are grandfathered in and can not be forced to move. An offender just moving into the neighborhood is another story, and they would be in violation for knowingly moving in near a daycare
It depends when this person moved in and when they were registered and when the daycare was opened. So getting licensed now, the offender already lived there before the licensed daycare was opened and likely won't be forced to move.
This is my take on my state's law, it may be different in other areas
It depends when this person moved in and when they were registered and when the daycare was opened. So getting licensed now, the offender already lived there before the licensed daycare was opened and likely won't be forced to move.
This is my take on my state's law, it may be different in other areas
Laurel 06:14 PM 06-09-2014
I think I would only be concerned if OP had school aged children that waited for the bus outside her house or walked to her house after school. Now THAT would concern me. But the same could be said about other predators in the neighborhood that you didn't know about. Still the SA situation would bother me.
Laurel
Laurel
CraftyMom 06:16 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I think I would only be concerned if OP had school aged children that waited for the bus outside her house or walked to her house after school. Now THAT would concern me. But the same could be said about other predators in the neighborhood that you didn't know about. Still the SA situation would bother me.
Laurel
Absolutely. That's where knowing what she knows and taking precautions comes in. If you know there is a level 3 offender across the street, you don't send SA kids to wait for a bus unsupervised.I think I would only be concerned if OP had school aged children that waited for the bus outside her house or walked to her house after school. Now THAT would concern me. But the same could be said about other predators in the neighborhood that you didn't know about. Still the SA situation would bother me.
Laurel
TickleMonster 06:22 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I have to double check, but last I knew in my state if a sex offender already existed in the neighborhood before the daycare was opened they are grandfathered in and can not be forced to move. An offender just moving into the neighborhood is another story, and they would be in violation for knowingly moving in near a daycare
It depends when this person moved in and when they were registered and when the daycare was opened. So getting licensed now, the offender already lived there before the licensed daycare was opened and likely won't be forced to move.
This is my take on my state's law, it may be different in other areas
I have to double check, but last I knew in my state if a sex offender already existed in the neighborhood before the daycare was opened they are grandfathered in and can not be forced to move. An offender just moving into the neighborhood is another story, and they would be in violation for knowingly moving in near a daycare
It depends when this person moved in and when they were registered and when the daycare was opened. So getting licensed now, the offender already lived there before the licensed daycare was opened and likely won't be forced to move.
This is my take on my state's law, it may be different in other areas
Mister Sir Husband 06:31 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Also, an 18 yr old who dates a 16 yr old COULD be found a sex offender.
The 16 yr old would also be considered a minor (not necessarily a child but still a minor).
On paper the 18 yr old would be registered as a sex offender that committed a crime against a minor child.
Sometimes unless we know the whole story, we should assume or judge.
What we can do is protect yourself and make sure you do what you need to do to supervise the children in your care.
If none of them are ever left unsupervised, you really have nothing to worry about.
The guy living down the block from you could be a sex offender that has done far worse and has yet to be caught.
One never knows
This is exactly the point I was gonna make.. friend of mine years ago had 16 year old boyfriend, his parents threw a fit and to this day she has to register..Also, an 18 yr old who dates a 16 yr old COULD be found a sex offender.
The 16 yr old would also be considered a minor (not necessarily a child but still a minor).
On paper the 18 yr old would be registered as a sex offender that committed a crime against a minor child.
Sometimes unless we know the whole story, we should assume or judge.
What we can do is protect yourself and make sure you do what you need to do to supervise the children in your care.
If none of them are ever left unsupervised, you really have nothing to worry about.
The guy living down the block from you could be a sex offender that has done far worse and has yet to be caught.
One never knows
Unregistered 06:32 PM 06-09-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Is that a licensing regulation? If so, could you post the link?
I am also in MN
It's nothing to do with licensing laws, as far as I know. Just what I have been told at every neighborhood meeting about a sex offender moving into the neighborhood. And it's on the notification papers that they send to daycares about the lower level offenders. Is that a licensing regulation? If so, could you post the link?
I am also in MN
Maybe it's a city or county law? I don't know. I only know what I have been told at the meetings.
KDC 07:58 PM 06-09-2014
I faced this issue a couple of years ago. I bought new construction (800 new houses, upper middle class neighborhood and the sex offender moved in RIGHT NEXT DOOR, maybe 20 feet away. It was not a 'Romeo & Juliet' situation as the victim was 8, and he was listed as a sexual predator in big red letters. I operated my daycare WITH a license WITH him living there for about 6 years. I told my licensor, nothing. Most of my original clients were my neighbors and then word of mouth. I ALWAYS told them, and surprisingly enough didn't knowingly lose any clients to it (probably deterred a few looking). He was married with kids.
He was super creepy. It was awkward because the whole neighborhood knew, and he wanted to fit in like any other family. A few of the neighbors came out and said "we know, and we don't want to socialize with you -- stay away". This made him super defensive and made everything worse. He started going to the bus stop to get his daughter and striking up inappropriate conversations with the neighbors to get a rise out them. Blowing kisses to parents of the other kids when they wouldn't look him in the eye. Tried to start fights, sit in his chair at the bottom of the driveway drunk, asking for fights (wanted it on his property so he wouldn't get in trouble). Police were called many times.
I called my local police dept. when it first realized he was here and I had a daycare... they said he was grandfathered in and didn't have to move. I called the State Police to ask about the rules for the bus stop. I told her I was a licensed day care, and he was free to walk by my house and greet elementary children off the bus, with all the creepy stuff he made me nervous. She said - Whoa, you're licensed?
Next day, a police officer came to my door and told me they were kicking him out of his house in 10 days. He had a bad record with the local police and was a known sociopath, and he offered me all the information to get a restraining order. I never lost any kids throughout this ordeal. It was so nutty. He even tried to get me to write a letter to the state telling them he was a good neighbor, when I refused he switched gears and told me he went through all the sex offender therapy classes and knows how the sex offenders get away with things... and lastly to "watch my daughter". He moved into a local motel, but could come visit any time he pleased. He soon after got divorced and sold the house. Now a cop moved in and they're a much nicer family.
Basically, I was up front and told them how I was going to protect their children and they all believed in my abilities to keep them safe. It is better to know he's there and what you can do to protect against them. It's nice to play in the yard again.
Still have nightmares...
He was super creepy. It was awkward because the whole neighborhood knew, and he wanted to fit in like any other family. A few of the neighbors came out and said "we know, and we don't want to socialize with you -- stay away". This made him super defensive and made everything worse. He started going to the bus stop to get his daughter and striking up inappropriate conversations with the neighbors to get a rise out them. Blowing kisses to parents of the other kids when they wouldn't look him in the eye. Tried to start fights, sit in his chair at the bottom of the driveway drunk, asking for fights (wanted it on his property so he wouldn't get in trouble). Police were called many times.
I called my local police dept. when it first realized he was here and I had a daycare... they said he was grandfathered in and didn't have to move. I called the State Police to ask about the rules for the bus stop. I told her I was a licensed day care, and he was free to walk by my house and greet elementary children off the bus, with all the creepy stuff he made me nervous. She said - Whoa, you're licensed?
Next day, a police officer came to my door and told me they were kicking him out of his house in 10 days. He had a bad record with the local police and was a known sociopath, and he offered me all the information to get a restraining order. I never lost any kids throughout this ordeal. It was so nutty. He even tried to get me to write a letter to the state telling them he was a good neighbor, when I refused he switched gears and told me he went through all the sex offender therapy classes and knows how the sex offenders get away with things... and lastly to "watch my daughter". He moved into a local motel, but could come visit any time he pleased. He soon after got divorced and sold the house. Now a cop moved in and they're a much nicer family.
Basically, I was up front and told them how I was going to protect their children and they all believed in my abilities to keep them safe. It is better to know he's there and what you can do to protect against them. It's nice to play in the yard again.
Still have nightmares...
CraftyMom 08:55 PM 06-09-2014
He was there for 6 years before they made him move?! Why couldn't that be done from the start?
NightOwl 10:20 PM 06-09-2014
Even though I am way out voted here, I maintain my position for ^^^^^^ this reason. If they are unstable enough to victimize a small child, why would you want to passively "keep an eye on him"? Not for me. I would be beating down doors to get rid of this guy.
childcaremom 02:06 AM 06-10-2014
I understand that there are offenders out there we don't know about... but this is one we do know! And he is a reoffender so (imho) makes it more important to be aware and be in the know. I would absolutely tell the parents.
If I put myself in the shoes of the parents, I would want to know. I would want to know how the provider plans to keep the children safe. Even though I know and understand she will do that, I would want her to reassure me that this man would never have access to my child. Where do the kids play? Front? Back? I would be very uncomfortable with my kids playing in plain view of this man. I would want to know what this man looks like and what offenses he committed.
As a provider, I would be looking into getting licensed. I would be looking at what I could do to tweak my yard and/or house so that this man would not have any view of the children playing. I would have a picture of him ready to show the parents and then I would present my plan.
What if he approached one of the parents during pick up/drop off? I am assuming that this could be enough to get his parole revoked and/or put back in jail? Could you imagine the parents didn't know and this man was approaching them and their child? Yikes! I feel sick thinking about it.
There was a sex offender released back into our area and my kids school sent home a notice, not to scare the parents into not sending children to school, but so that everyone was aware and would take extra precautions. I think if OP handled it this way (awareness/precautions) she would reassure her daycare parents.
If I put myself in the shoes of the parents, I would want to know. I would want to know how the provider plans to keep the children safe. Even though I know and understand she will do that, I would want her to reassure me that this man would never have access to my child. Where do the kids play? Front? Back? I would be very uncomfortable with my kids playing in plain view of this man. I would want to know what this man looks like and what offenses he committed.
As a provider, I would be looking into getting licensed. I would be looking at what I could do to tweak my yard and/or house so that this man would not have any view of the children playing. I would have a picture of him ready to show the parents and then I would present my plan.
What if he approached one of the parents during pick up/drop off? I am assuming that this could be enough to get his parole revoked and/or put back in jail? Could you imagine the parents didn't know and this man was approaching them and their child? Yikes! I feel sick thinking about it.
There was a sex offender released back into our area and my kids school sent home a notice, not to scare the parents into not sending children to school, but so that everyone was aware and would take extra precautions. I think if OP handled it this way (awareness/precautions) she would reassure her daycare parents.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 04:29 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
I'm going to be the odd one out also.....
I wouldn't notify parents... And I wouldn't license just because of the offender.
I would keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not as bothered by he registered ones as I am the ones who are under the radar.
Why notify parents and start an all out war and then you can guarantee you'll never have another client. Your parents trust you to keep their kids safe. Now tat you know of the offender you simply do what you have been doing. You keep the kids safe by doing what you would do before you knew about the offender.
I understand why yu are concerned. But the fact of the matter is.... The fact is that knowing the information doesn't change he quality of care YOU provide. It just arms you with valuable information.
I would not notify either. Honestly, pedophiles usually molest children they are in contact with, they are not abducting kids off the street. So, if you are always with your kids, they are not having conversations with him as a "friend", I would be vigil but not concerned.I'm going to be the odd one out also.....
I wouldn't notify parents... And I wouldn't license just because of the offender.
I would keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not as bothered by he registered ones as I am the ones who are under the radar.
Why notify parents and start an all out war and then you can guarantee you'll never have another client. Your parents trust you to keep their kids safe. Now tat you know of the offender you simply do what you have been doing. You keep the kids safe by doing what you would do before you knew about the offender.
I understand why yu are concerned. But the fact of the matter is.... The fact is that knowing the information doesn't change he quality of care YOU provide. It just arms you with valuable information.
NightOwl 05:15 AM 06-10-2014
They are absolutely abducting kids off the street! It happens every day and always happens to people who think it never could!
Blackcat31 05:27 AM 06-10-2014
Some statistical facts from the Bureau of Justice Statistics...
There is no research to support that adult sex offenders’ proximity to schools or parks leads to recidivism. (a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially: relapse into criminal behavior)
Researchers from the Minnesota Department of Corrections found that not one of 224 recidivistic adult sex offenses would have been prevented by a residential restriction law.
In Florida, researchers found that the distance adult sex offenders lived from schools and daycares was not associated with recidivism; recidivists did not live closer to schools and daycares than nonrecidivists (Zandbergen, Hart, & Levenson, 2010).
The bottom line is that adult sex offenders do not molest children because they live near schools and facilities relating to the care and supervision of children.
Typically they abuse when they are able to establish relationships with children and their families and misuse positions of familiarity, trust, and authority.
According to the Justice Department, 93% of sexually abused children are molested by family members, close friends or acquaintances. Children are most likely to be assaulted by people they know, not strangers lurking in schoolyards.
Thus, residence restrictions do little to prevent the most common situations in which children are likely to be harmed.
Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child's family (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998).
Relatives, friends, baby-sitters, persons in positions of authority over the child, or persons who supervise children are more likely than strangers to commit a sexual assault.
There is no research to support that adult sex offenders’ proximity to schools or parks leads to recidivism. (a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially: relapse into criminal behavior)
Researchers from the Minnesota Department of Corrections found that not one of 224 recidivistic adult sex offenses would have been prevented by a residential restriction law.
In Florida, researchers found that the distance adult sex offenders lived from schools and daycares was not associated with recidivism; recidivists did not live closer to schools and daycares than nonrecidivists (Zandbergen, Hart, & Levenson, 2010).
The bottom line is that adult sex offenders do not molest children because they live near schools and facilities relating to the care and supervision of children.
Typically they abuse when they are able to establish relationships with children and their families and misuse positions of familiarity, trust, and authority.
According to the Justice Department, 93% of sexually abused children are molested by family members, close friends or acquaintances. Children are most likely to be assaulted by people they know, not strangers lurking in schoolyards.
Thus, residence restrictions do little to prevent the most common situations in which children are likely to be harmed.
Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child's family (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998).
Relatives, friends, baby-sitters, persons in positions of authority over the child, or persons who supervise children are more likely than strangers to commit a sexual assault.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 05:48 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Some statistical facts from the Bureau of Justice Statistics...
There is no research to support that adult sex offenders’ proximity to schools or parks leads to recidivism. (a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially: relapse into criminal behavior)
Researchers from the Minnesota Department of Corrections found that not one of 224 recidivistic adult sex offenses would have been prevented by a residential restriction law.
In Florida, researchers found that the distance adult sex offenders lived from schools and daycares was not associated with recidivism; recidivists did not live closer to schools and daycares than nonrecidivists (Zandbergen, Hart, & Levenson, 2010).
The bottom line is that adult sex offenders do not molest children because they live near schools and facilities relating to the care and supervision of children.
Typically they abuse when they are able to establish relationships with children and their families and misuse positions of familiarity, trust, and authority.
According to the Justice Department, 93% of sexually abused children are molested by family members, close friends or acquaintances. Children are most likely to be assaulted by people they know, not strangers lurking in schoolyards.
Thus, residence restrictions do little to prevent the most common situations in which children are likely to be harmed.
Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child's family (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998).
Relatives, friends, baby-sitters, persons in positions of authority over the child, or persons who supervise children are more likely than strangers to commit a sexual assault.
Thanks BC for the statsSome statistical facts from the Bureau of Justice Statistics...
There is no research to support that adult sex offenders’ proximity to schools or parks leads to recidivism. (a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially: relapse into criminal behavior)
Researchers from the Minnesota Department of Corrections found that not one of 224 recidivistic adult sex offenses would have been prevented by a residential restriction law.
In Florida, researchers found that the distance adult sex offenders lived from schools and daycares was not associated with recidivism; recidivists did not live closer to schools and daycares than nonrecidivists (Zandbergen, Hart, & Levenson, 2010).
The bottom line is that adult sex offenders do not molest children because they live near schools and facilities relating to the care and supervision of children.
Typically they abuse when they are able to establish relationships with children and their families and misuse positions of familiarity, trust, and authority.
According to the Justice Department, 93% of sexually abused children are molested by family members, close friends or acquaintances. Children are most likely to be assaulted by people they know, not strangers lurking in schoolyards.
Thus, residence restrictions do little to prevent the most common situations in which children are likely to be harmed.
Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child's family (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998).
Relatives, friends, baby-sitters, persons in positions of authority over the child, or persons who supervise children are more likely than strangers to commit a sexual assault.
Sugar Magnolia 05:48 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
I think the OP mentioned not being licensed because some states have laws that a registered sex offender can't live within so many feet of a school or daycare.
OP-I also am in the "wouldn't say anything" camp for all the reasons PP's have mentioned. I would think about this before you make any decisions.
I think the OP mentioned not being licensed because some states have laws that a registered sex offender can't live within so many feet of a school or daycare.
OP-I also am in the "wouldn't say anything" camp for all the reasons PP's have mentioned. I would think about this before you make any decisions.
This!
playground1 05:52 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
They are absolutely abducting kids off the street! It happens every day and always happens to people who think it never could!
Statistically, a child is more likely to have a heart attack then to be abducted by a stranger. They are certainly more likely to be in a car accident. We need to be aware and cautious and not overreact.They are absolutely abducting kids off the street! It happens every day and always happens to people who think it never could!
Unregistered 06:32 AM 06-10-2014
Not refuting the statistics, but here is part of my story. Beginning when I was a teen I was approached, mauled, grabbed & kidnapped in multiple incidents by unrelated strangers. I was small for my age and was timid and polite, and I now think those are the traits that made me a good victim.
Now I love me some powerful, bossy, (sometimes sassy), loud (sometimes obnoxious) girls because I figure they haven't been trained to be so obedient that they look like victims.
As for me, now I am (slightly) larger, bossier, more powerful and not nearly as afraid to take control of a situation I will NEVER be that girl again.
Now I love me some powerful, bossy, (sometimes sassy), loud (sometimes obnoxious) girls
because I figure they haven't been trained to be so obedient that they look like victims. As for me, now I am (slightly) larger, bossier, more powerful and not nearly as afraid to take control of a situation
I will NEVER be that girl again.
KDC 06:37 AM 06-10-2014
I lived next to the offender and did a daycare for 6 years. I kept an eye and felt I could and would keep the kids safe. He was a hermit for most of those years and stayed in his house (so much so his little petite wife did ALL snow removal, and lawn maintenance just to avoid neighbors)... then he kind of exploded and was in our face in a really scary way.
I was conflicted because on one hand I felt bad he had this scarlet letter painted on him and the way it effected his family. The kids were innocent as was the wife. But we wanted to distance ourselves because the victim was a friend of the Mom's son (his step-son age 8 at time of crime). They weren't close - there wasn't a bond there, just an opportunity. I didn't want my children to feel safe around him, like he was just a Dad of their friends so he could be trusted. This tugged at my heart strings for his children, as they didn't know why my kids didn't want to play with them.
Once he started flipping out and getting aggressive, it was scary. He came out of his house to call me a stupid B*tch after he was kicked out while I was playing duck duck goose with the daycare kids - like screaming mad obscenities. That is NOT acceptable, and police were called. I'm just glad it's behind us, but it always bugs me that he made that choice 10 years ago...and it will follow him for the rest of his life, and not just his but his kids life too.
I was conflicted because on one hand I felt bad he had this scarlet letter painted on him and the way it effected his family. The kids were innocent as was the wife. But we wanted to distance ourselves because the victim was a friend of the Mom's son (his step-son age 8 at time of crime). They weren't close - there wasn't a bond there, just an opportunity. I didn't want my children to feel safe around him, like he was just a Dad of their friends so he could be trusted. This tugged at my heart strings for his children, as they didn't know why my kids didn't want to play with them.
Once he started flipping out and getting aggressive, it was scary. He came out of his house to call me a stupid B*tch after he was kicked out while I was playing duck duck goose with the daycare kids - like screaming mad obscenities. That is NOT acceptable, and police were called. I'm just glad it's behind us, but it always bugs me that he made that choice 10 years ago...and it will follow him for the rest of his life, and not just his but his kids life too.
TickleMonster 07:08 AM 06-10-2014
Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.
TickleMonster 07:10 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Not refuting the statistics, but here is part of my story. Beginning when I was a teen I was approached, mauled, grabbed & kidnapped in multiple incidents by unrelated strangers. I was small for my age and was timid and polite, and I now think those are the traits that made me a good victim.
Now I love me some powerful, bossy, (sometimes sassy), loud (sometimes obnoxious) girls because I figure they haven't been trained to be so obedient that they look like victims.
As for me, now I am (slightly) larger, bossier, more powerful and not nearly as afraid to take control of a situation I will NEVER be that girl again.
Not refuting the statistics, but here is part of my story. Beginning when I was a teen I was approached, mauled, grabbed & kidnapped in multiple incidents by unrelated strangers. I was small for my age and was timid and polite, and I now think those are the traits that made me a good victim.
Now I love me some powerful, bossy, (sometimes sassy), loud (sometimes obnoxious) girls
because I figure they haven't been trained to be so obedient that they look like victims. As for me, now I am (slightly) larger, bossier, more powerful and not nearly as afraid to take control of a situation
I will NEVER be that girl again.So sorry to hear that this happened and glad to know you are in control and taking charge of your life!
Thankyou for sharing with us as I know things like this are difficult to talk about.
TickleMonster 07:12 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by KDC:
I lived next to the offender and did a daycare for 6 years. I kept an eye and felt I could and would keep the kids safe. He was a hermit for most of those years and stayed in his house (so much so his little petite wife did ALL snow removal, and lawn maintenance just to avoid neighbors)... then he kind of exploded and was in our face in a really scary way.
I was conflicted because on one hand I felt bad he had this scarlet letter painted on him and the way it effected his family. The kids were innocent as was the wife. But we wanted to distance ourselves because the victim was a friend of the Mom's son (his step-son age 8 at time of crime). They weren't close - there wasn't a bond there, just an opportunity. I didn't want my children to feel safe around him, like he was just a Dad of their friends so he could be trusted. This tugged at my heart strings for his children, as they didn't know why my kids didn't want to play with them.
Once he started flipping out and getting aggressive, it was scary. He came out of his house to call me a stupid B*tch after he was kicked out while I was playing duck duck goose with the daycare kids - like screaming mad obscenities. That is NOT acceptable, and police were called. I'm just glad it's behind us, but it always bugs me that he made that choice 10 years ago...and it will follow him for the rest of his life, and not just his but his kids life too.
That's just ridiculous. What a nightmare. I'm so glad that is over for you. Thankyou for sharing your story with us.I lived next to the offender and did a daycare for 6 years. I kept an eye and felt I could and would keep the kids safe. He was a hermit for most of those years and stayed in his house (so much so his little petite wife did ALL snow removal, and lawn maintenance just to avoid neighbors)... then he kind of exploded and was in our face in a really scary way.
I was conflicted because on one hand I felt bad he had this scarlet letter painted on him and the way it effected his family. The kids were innocent as was the wife. But we wanted to distance ourselves because the victim was a friend of the Mom's son (his step-son age 8 at time of crime). They weren't close - there wasn't a bond there, just an opportunity. I didn't want my children to feel safe around him, like he was just a Dad of their friends so he could be trusted. This tugged at my heart strings for his children, as they didn't know why my kids didn't want to play with them.
Once he started flipping out and getting aggressive, it was scary. He came out of his house to call me a stupid B*tch after he was kicked out while I was playing duck duck goose with the daycare kids - like screaming mad obscenities. That is NOT acceptable, and police were called. I'm just glad it's behind us, but it always bugs me that he made that choice 10 years ago...and it will follow him for the rest of his life, and not just his but his kids life too.
craftymissbeth 07:12 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by TickleMonster:
Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.
That's how it is here, too. We can't "harass" them or bother them at all. I'm sorry that there isn't anything you can do other than staying alert.Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.
TickleMonster 07:13 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by KDC:
I faced this issue a couple of years ago. I bought new construction (800 new houses, upper middle class neighborhood and the sex offender moved in RIGHT NEXT DOOR, maybe 20 feet away. It was not a 'Romeo & Juliet' situation as the victim was 8, and he was listed as a sexual predator in big red letters. I operated my daycare WITH a license WITH him living there for about 6 years. I told my licensor, nothing. Most of my original clients were my neighbors and then word of mouth. I ALWAYS told them, and surprisingly enough didn't knowingly lose any clients to it (probably deterred a few looking). He was married with kids.
He was super creepy. It was awkward because the whole neighborhood knew, and he wanted to fit in like any other family. A few of the neighbors came out and said "we know, and we don't want to socialize with you -- stay away". This made him super defensive and made everything worse. He started going to the bus stop to get his daughter and striking up inappropriate conversations with the neighbors to get a rise out them. Blowing kisses to parents of the other kids when they wouldn't look him in the eye. Tried to start fights, sit in his chair at the bottom of the driveway drunk, asking for fights (wanted it on his property so he wouldn't get in trouble). Police were called many times.
I called my local police dept. when it first realized he was here and I had a daycare... they said he was grandfathered in and didn't have to move. I called the State Police to ask about the rules for the bus stop. I told her I was a licensed day care, and he was free to walk by my house and greet elementary children off the bus, with all the creepy stuff he made me nervous. She said - Whoa, you're licensed?
Next day, a police officer came to my door and told me they were kicking him out of his house in 10 days. He had a bad record with the local police and was a known sociopath, and he offered me all the information to get a restraining order. I never lost any kids throughout this ordeal. It was so nutty. He even tried to get me to write a letter to the state telling them he was a good neighbor, when I refused he switched gears and told me he went through all the sex offender therapy classes and knows how the sex offenders get away with things... and lastly to "watch my daughter". He moved into a local motel, but could come visit any time he pleased. He soon after got divorced and sold the house. Now a cop moved in and they're a much nicer family.
Basically, I was up front and told them how I was going to protect their children and they all believed in my abilities to keep them safe. It is better to know he's there and what you can do to protect against them. It's nice to play in the yard again.
Still have nightmares...
How awful!! Ugh some people are just really rotten to the core. Glad he is gone and you can get on with your life. Yeah, I would have nightmares too. Actually had one last night about the creep across the street and he hasn't even done anything. (shudders)I faced this issue a couple of years ago. I bought new construction (800 new houses, upper middle class neighborhood and the sex offender moved in RIGHT NEXT DOOR, maybe 20 feet away. It was not a 'Romeo & Juliet' situation as the victim was 8, and he was listed as a sexual predator in big red letters. I operated my daycare WITH a license WITH him living there for about 6 years. I told my licensor, nothing. Most of my original clients were my neighbors and then word of mouth. I ALWAYS told them, and surprisingly enough didn't knowingly lose any clients to it (probably deterred a few looking). He was married with kids.
He was super creepy. It was awkward because the whole neighborhood knew, and he wanted to fit in like any other family. A few of the neighbors came out and said "we know, and we don't want to socialize with you -- stay away". This made him super defensive and made everything worse. He started going to the bus stop to get his daughter and striking up inappropriate conversations with the neighbors to get a rise out them. Blowing kisses to parents of the other kids when they wouldn't look him in the eye. Tried to start fights, sit in his chair at the bottom of the driveway drunk, asking for fights (wanted it on his property so he wouldn't get in trouble). Police were called many times.
I called my local police dept. when it first realized he was here and I had a daycare... they said he was grandfathered in and didn't have to move. I called the State Police to ask about the rules for the bus stop. I told her I was a licensed day care, and he was free to walk by my house and greet elementary children off the bus, with all the creepy stuff he made me nervous. She said - Whoa, you're licensed?
Next day, a police officer came to my door and told me they were kicking him out of his house in 10 days. He had a bad record with the local police and was a known sociopath, and he offered me all the information to get a restraining order. I never lost any kids throughout this ordeal. It was so nutty. He even tried to get me to write a letter to the state telling them he was a good neighbor, when I refused he switched gears and told me he went through all the sex offender therapy classes and knows how the sex offenders get away with things... and lastly to "watch my daughter". He moved into a local motel, but could come visit any time he pleased. He soon after got divorced and sold the house. Now a cop moved in and they're a much nicer family.
Basically, I was up front and told them how I was going to protect their children and they all believed in my abilities to keep them safe. It is better to know he's there and what you can do to protect against them. It's nice to play in the yard again.
Still have nightmares...
TickleMonster 07:15 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
That's how it is here, too. We can't "harass" them or bother them at all. I'm sorry that there isn't anything you can do other than staying alert.
Its ok. I understand that it is not ok for the public to harass them for their crimes. Still makes me uneasy but it is, what it is. Thanks!That's how it is here, too. We can't "harass" them or bother them at all. I'm sorry that there isn't anything you can do other than staying alert.
CraftyMom 08:49 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by TickleMonster:
Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.
So even if you felt you wanted to tell parents you couldn't? Hmmm maybe you could send a notice with the link to the sex offender registry with a simple "Hi dcf's, here is the website for the SOR. I thought it would be a useful tool for parents to have, please pay attention to addresses" If you still felt you needed to inform them.Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.
playground1 10:10 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
So even if you felt you wanted to tell parents you couldn't? Hmmm maybe you could send a notice with the link to the sex offender registry with a simple "Hi dcf's, here is the website for the SOR. I thought it would be a useful tool for parents to have, please pay attention to addresses" If you still felt you needed to inform them.
I think that is a very, very bad idea.So even if you felt you wanted to tell parents you couldn't? Hmmm maybe you could send a notice with the link to the sex offender registry with a simple "Hi dcf's, here is the website for the SOR. I thought it would be a useful tool for parents to have, please pay attention to addresses" If you still felt you needed to inform them.
NightOwl 11:53 AM 06-10-2014
Bad idea or not, when it comes to my children, I'll break any law necessary if it keeps them out of the hands of someone who molested children. My talons come out in a quick hurry when it comes to the innocent being victimized.
Mom o Col 11:56 AM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
For what it's worth, you could have 3 more in your neighborhood that ARE NOT registered, that you DON'T KNOW about! Those are the dangerous ones.
This is true! I read it and it was an eye opener. For what it's worth, you could have 3 more in your neighborhood that ARE NOT registered, that you DON'T KNOW about! Those are the dangerous ones.
playground1 12:03 PM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Bad idea or not, when it comes to my children, I'll break any law necessary if it keeps them out of the hands of someone who molested children. My talons come out in a quick hurry when it comes to the innocent being victimized.
But why take that route when's it's easy enough just to stay away from the guy?Bad idea or not, when it comes to my children, I'll break any law necessary if it keeps them out of the hands of someone who molested children. My talons come out in a quick hurry when it comes to the innocent being victimized.
Naptime yet? 12:11 PM 06-10-2014
From the MD Attorney General's Office:
D. USING THE REGISTRY TO ASSIST IN THE SUPERVISION OF CONVICTED OFFENDERS, AND WHAT NOT TO DO - THE DANGERS OF HARASSMENT AND OSTRACISM
Except for the most dangerous offenders, the vast majority of convicted sex offenders eventually leave prison and return to live in our communities. Given that inescapable fact, it is in the best interest of community safety that they become successful, integrated members of their communities. Those offenders who are able to find and maintain adequate housing, become gainfully employed, and establish connections to others in the community are far less likely to reoffend, and everyone is safer as a result.
Thus, while everyone should take care to protect themselves and their children from vulnerable situations involving known offenders, no one should try to harass, ostracize, shame or brand them. Harassment is against the law, and these kinds of activities also decrease the likelihood that an offender will become an integrated and productive member of the community.
At the same time, as members of your community, you can help make sure an offender does not engage in activities that could lead to his reoffending. People who live and work around an offender are in a better position to know if he is exhibiting troubling behavior than are law enforcement and parole agents who can only check in with offenders periodically. Thus, if you see a child sex offender engaging in any behavior which concerns you, like loitering around playgrounds or befriending neighborhood teens, you should report the activity to the local law enforcement authority listed on the registry. Community supervision is an important component of successful sex offender management.
D. USING THE REGISTRY TO ASSIST IN THE SUPERVISION OF CONVICTED OFFENDERS, AND WHAT NOT TO DO - THE DANGERS OF HARASSMENT AND OSTRACISM
Except for the most dangerous offenders, the vast majority of convicted sex offenders eventually leave prison and return to live in our communities. Given that inescapable fact, it is in the best interest of community safety that they become successful, integrated members of their communities. Those offenders who are able to find and maintain adequate housing, become gainfully employed, and establish connections to others in the community are far less likely to reoffend, and everyone is safer as a result.
Thus, while everyone should take care to protect themselves and their children from vulnerable situations involving known offenders, no one should try to harass, ostracize, shame or brand them. Harassment is against the law, and these kinds of activities also decrease the likelihood that an offender will become an integrated and productive member of the community.
At the same time, as members of your community, you can help make sure an offender does not engage in activities that could lead to his reoffending. People who live and work around an offender are in a better position to know if he is exhibiting troubling behavior than are law enforcement and parole agents who can only check in with offenders periodically. Thus, if you see a child sex offender engaging in any behavior which concerns you, like loitering around playgrounds or befriending neighborhood teens, you should report the activity to the local law enforcement authority listed on the registry. Community supervision is an important component of successful sex offender management.
SillyGrl 12:19 PM 06-10-2014
That would make me very uncomfortable. FWIW, I worked in corrections and I can tell you that while I'm thankful for the SOR, some people end up on that list for ridiculous reasons. Not all, and obviously not the guy living across the street from you, but some.
Texas DFPS sent me a list of registered offenders in my area when I applied.
Maybe it's time to do some kind of "stranger danger" activity or something?
Texas DFPS sent me a list of registered offenders in my area when I applied.
Maybe it's time to do some kind of "stranger danger" activity or something?
playground1 12:24 PM 06-10-2014
Originally Posted by Naptime yet?:
From the MD Attorney General's Office:
D. USING THE REGISTRY TO ASSIST IN THE SUPERVISION OF CONVICTED OFFENDERS, AND WHAT NOT TO DO - THE DANGERS OF HARASSMENT AND OSTRACISM
Except for the most dangerous offenders, the vast majority of convicted sex offenders eventually leave prison and return to live in our communities. Given that inescapable fact, it is in the best interest of community safety that they become successful, integrated members of their communities. Those offenders who are able to find and maintain adequate housing, become gainfully employed, and establish connections to others in the community are far less likely to reoffend, and everyone is safer as a result.
Thus, while everyone should take care to protect themselves and their children from vulnerable situations involving known offenders, no one should try to harass, ostracize, shame or brand them. Harassment is against the law, and these kinds of activities also decrease the likelihood that an offender will become an integrated and productive member of the community.
At the same time, as members of your community, you can help make sure an offender does not engage in activities that could lead to his reoffending. People who live and work around an offender are in a better position to know if he is exhibiting troubling behavior than are law enforcement and parole agents who can only check in with offenders periodically. Thus, if you see a child sex offender engaging in any behavior which concerns you, like loitering around playgrounds or befriending neighborhood teens, you should report the activity to the local law enforcement authority listed on the registry. Community supervision is an important component of successful sex offender management.
From the MD Attorney General's Office:
D. USING THE REGISTRY TO ASSIST IN THE SUPERVISION OF CONVICTED OFFENDERS, AND WHAT NOT TO DO - THE DANGERS OF HARASSMENT AND OSTRACISM
Except for the most dangerous offenders, the vast majority of convicted sex offenders eventually leave prison and return to live in our communities. Given that inescapable fact, it is in the best interest of community safety that they become successful, integrated members of their communities. Those offenders who are able to find and maintain adequate housing, become gainfully employed, and establish connections to others in the community are far less likely to reoffend, and everyone is safer as a result.
Thus, while everyone should take care to protect themselves and their children from vulnerable situations involving known offenders, no one should try to harass, ostracize, shame or brand them. Harassment is against the law, and these kinds of activities also decrease the likelihood that an offender will become an integrated and productive member of the community.
At the same time, as members of your community, you can help make sure an offender does not engage in activities that could lead to his reoffending. People who live and work around an offender are in a better position to know if he is exhibiting troubling behavior than are law enforcement and parole agents who can only check in with offenders periodically. Thus, if you see a child sex offender engaging in any behavior which concerns you, like loitering around playgrounds or befriending neighborhood teens, you should report the activity to the local law enforcement authority listed on the registry. Community supervision is an important component of successful sex offender management.
KidGrind 11:03 AM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
And I'll point out that I'm hyper sensitive to the subject because, I just am. You can assume why.
I will share as a parent I would remove my kids from your care. Not because of your honesty but I would think, “If she is keeping an eye on my kids, why would she tell me this?”And I'll point out that I'm hyper sensitive to the subject because, I just am. You can assume why.
As a parent, I did not & do not like unnecessary drama. Now if your elderly father (strictly example) needed to move in with you and he was a registered sex offender or their were some allegations I WOULD EXPECT for you to inform me.
NightOwl 11:12 AM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I will share as a parent I would remove my kids from your care. Not because of your honesty but I would think, “If she is keeping an eye on my kids, why would she tell me this?”
As a parent, I did not & do not like unnecessary drama. Now if your elderly father (strictly example) needed to move in with you and he was a registered sex offender or their were some allegations I WOULD EXPECT for you to inform me.
Well I will share that I think that's ridiculous. You would remove them because I am so concerned for everyone's safety that I wanted to inform my parents? I can't see the logic in that. No offense intended, you have a right to your opinion and to put your children wherever you want. I just can't understand you removing them because you would assume I wasn't properly caring for them because I told you of a danger in the neighborhood?I will share as a parent I would remove my kids from your care. Not because of your honesty but I would think, “If she is keeping an eye on my kids, why would she tell me this?”
As a parent, I did not & do not like unnecessary drama. Now if your elderly father (strictly example) needed to move in with you and he was a registered sex offender or their were some allegations I WOULD EXPECT for you to inform me.
KidGrind 11:31 AM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Well I will share that I think that's ridiculous. You would remove them because I am so concerned for everyone's safety that I wanted to inform my parents? I can't see the logic in that. No offense intended, you have a right to your opinion and to put your children wherever you want. I just can't understand you removing them because you would assume I wasn't properly caring for them because I told you of a danger in the neighborhood?
I am not offended in the least. You have a right to your opinion.Well I will share that I think that's ridiculous. You would remove them because I am so concerned for everyone's safety that I wanted to inform my parents? I can't see the logic in that. No offense intended, you have a right to your opinion and to put your children wherever you want. I just can't understand you removing them because you would assume I wasn't properly caring for them because I told you of a danger in the neighborhood?
I do NOT like unnecessary drama from anyone who takes care of my children. It’s a red flag for me. If a provider is taking great care of my children, then I do not need to know about a registered sex offender in her neighborhood. Now if my provider is eating chips & watching Maury while my kids are playing outside, then I NEED TO KNOW.
I would remove my kids from your care because I would interpret your Sex Offender Notice Across The Street as dramatic. That’s me and my choice. You can handle your business as you wish. I gave my take on the subject. If it’s a relative moving into your home or visiting, tell me. A neighbor, I am not interested.
NightOwl 11:41 AM 06-11-2014
But the drama is not caused by me, it's caused by the neighbor. Still don't get it. I am not a drama queen by any means, but it seems you think only a drama queen would tell parents?
Annalee 11:47 AM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I am not offended in the least. You have a right to your opinion.
I do NOT like unnecessary drama from anyone who takes care of my children. It’s a red flag for me. If a provider is taking great care of my children, then I do not need to know about a registered sex offender in her neighborhood. Now if my provider is eating chips & watching Maury while my kids are playing outside, then I NEED TO KNOW.
I would remove my kids from your care because I would interpret your Sex Offender Notice Across The Street as dramatic. That’s me and my choice. You can handle your business as you wish. I gave my take on the subject. If it’s a relative moving into your home or visiting, tell me. A neighbor, I am not interested.
I understand what you are saying.I am not offended in the least. You have a right to your opinion.
I do NOT like unnecessary drama from anyone who takes care of my children. It’s a red flag for me. If a provider is taking great care of my children, then I do not need to know about a registered sex offender in her neighborhood. Now if my provider is eating chips & watching Maury while my kids are playing outside, then I NEED TO KNOW.
I would remove my kids from your care because I would interpret your Sex Offender Notice Across The Street as dramatic. That’s me and my choice. You can handle your business as you wish. I gave my take on the subject. If it’s a relative moving into your home or visiting, tell me. A neighbor, I am not interested.
I am old and have bn in daycare a long time so I have lots of stories..
Anyway, years ago, my cousin was diagnosed with hepetitus C. This was long before persons were educated on this disease. Well, I felt the need to tell my parents that he would NOT be in my home daycare during hours (this was before my new room). Well, to my amazement, every parent which I met with separately stopped me before I could get started telling me they knew I took care of their kids and kept them safe or they would not leave them with me. They also told me their families had issue too, therefore letting me know there was NO judgement taking place. So, NOW, I handle things differently. I feel my family is open with the families enrolled but they trust me and DO NOT need any EXTRA INFO. Just sharing in this discussion! 
KidGrind 11:55 AM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
But the drama is not caused by me, it's caused by the neighbor. Still don't get it. I am not a drama queen by any means, but it seems you think only a drama queen would tell parents?
I never wrote anywhere on this thread about a drama queen. I wrote my stance as a parent who has had her children in a daycare provider’s home.But the drama is not caused by me, it's caused by the neighbor. Still don't get it. I am not a drama queen by any means, but it seems you think only a drama queen would tell parents?
I never wrote you were a drama queen. I don’t think a citizen with a dark past moving into a neighborhood is the cause of drama. The drama would be if he continues whatever behavior caused him to be a registered sex offender in the first place. The drama is if the neighbors go on a witch hunt to get him to move.
The fact that I see the situation differently than you is not an indictment on who you are as a person. I do not know you. We just think differently. Your method of operation doesn’t have to make sense to me. How I operate in this life has to make sense to me.
KidGrind 11:57 AM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by Annalee:
I understand what you are saying. I am old and have bn in daycare a long time so I have lots of stories.. Anyway, years ago, my cousin was diagnosed with hepetitus C. This was long before persons were educated on this disease. Well, I felt the need to tell my parents that he would NOT be in my home daycare during hours (this was before my new room). Well, to my amazement, every parent which I met with separately stopped me before I could get started telling me they knew I took care of their kids and kept them safe or they would not leave them with me. They also told me their families had issue too, therefore letting me know there was NO judgement taking place. So, NOW, I handle things differently. I feel my family is open with the families enrolled but they trust me and DO NOT need any EXTRA INFO. Just sharing in this discussion!
BINGO! Thank for sharing!I understand what you are saying.
I am old and have bn in daycare a long time so I have lots of stories.. Anyway, years ago, my cousin was diagnosed with hepetitus C. This was long before persons were educated on this disease. Well, I felt the need to tell my parents that he would NOT be in my home daycare during hours (this was before my new room). Well, to my amazement, every parent which I met with separately stopped me before I could get started telling me they knew I took care of their kids and kept them safe or they would not leave them with me. They also told me their families had issue too, therefore letting me know there was NO judgement taking place. So, NOW, I handle things differently. I feel my family is open with the families enrolled but they trust me and DO NOT need any EXTRA INFO. Just sharing in this discussion!
craftymissbeth 11:59 AM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I never wrote anywhere on this thread about a drama queen. I wrote my stance as a parent who has had her children in a daycare provider’s home.
I never wrote you were a drama queen. I don’t think a citizen with a dark past is caused by a neighbor. The drama would be if he continues whatever behavior caused him to be a registered sex offender in the first place.
The fact that I see the situation differently than you is not an indictment on who you are as a person. I do not know you. We just think differently. Your method of operation doesn’t have to make sense to me. How I operate in this life has to make sense to me.
I totally get what you're saying and I wouldn't tell my parents either, but he HAS reoffended multiple times.I never wrote anywhere on this thread about a drama queen. I wrote my stance as a parent who has had her children in a daycare provider’s home.
I never wrote you were a drama queen. I don’t think a citizen with a dark past is caused by a neighbor. The drama would be if he continues whatever behavior caused him to be a registered sex offender in the first place.
The fact that I see the situation differently than you is not an indictment on who you are as a person. I do not know you. We just think differently. Your method of operation doesn’t have to make sense to me. How I operate in this life has to make sense to me.
NightOwl 12:05 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I never wrote anywhere on this thread about a drama queen. I wrote my stance as a parent who has had her children in a daycare provider’s home.
I never wrote you were a drama queen. I don’t think a citizen with a dark past moving into a neighborhood is the cause of drama. The drama would be if he continues whatever behavior caused him to be a registered sex offender in the first place. The drama is if the neighbors go on a witch hunt to get him to move.
The fact that I see the situation differently than you is not an indictment on who you are as a person. I do not know you. We just think differently. Your method of operation doesn’t have to make sense to me. How I operate in this life has to make sense to me.
Oh crap! No, no, no! I didn't mean to put words in your mouth! I can see how it looked that way. I apologize. I was making a generalization. I should have said it "seemed" that you felt a person telling their parents was a drama queen. I was asking for more clarification and did a poor jobI never wrote anywhere on this thread about a drama queen. I wrote my stance as a parent who has had her children in a daycare provider’s home.
I never wrote you were a drama queen. I don’t think a citizen with a dark past moving into a neighborhood is the cause of drama. The drama would be if he continues whatever behavior caused him to be a registered sex offender in the first place. The drama is if the neighbors go on a witch hunt to get him to move.
The fact that I see the situation differently than you is not an indictment on who you are as a person. I do not know you. We just think differently. Your method of operation doesn’t have to make sense to me. How I operate in this life has to make sense to me.
of it. I didn't intend to accuse you of calling ME a drama queen, I was just stating that I am not one. My bad!
KidGrind 12:16 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Oh crap! No, no, no! I didn't mean to put words in your mouth! I can see how it looked that way. I apologize. I was making a generalization. I should have said it "seemed" that you felt a person telling their parents was a drama queen. I was asking for more clarification and did a poor job
of it. I didn't intend to accuse you of calling ME a drama queen, I was just stating that I am not one. My bad!
No worries, I write my opinion, advice or method of operation and let everything else roll off my back and giggle. It’s not that serious. Thanks for apologizing. Often I type something and it’s not exactly how or what I meant to convey.Oh crap! No, no, no! I didn't mean to put words in your mouth! I can see how it looked that way. I apologize. I was making a generalization. I should have said it "seemed" that you felt a person telling their parents was a drama queen. I was asking for more clarification and did a poor job
of it. I didn't intend to accuse you of calling ME a drama queen, I was just stating that I am not one. My bad!
NightOwl 12:20 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
No worries, I write my opinion, advice or method of operation and let everything else roll off my back and giggle. It’s not that serious. Thanks for apologizing. Often I type something and it’s not exactly how or what I meant to convey.
I do that often and usually end up in trouble. Lol. Again, I apologize. I read it again and was like, yes, I sound like a total bitch. :embarrassed: But that wasn't my intention. I love a good debate, but I try to not get nasty.No worries, I write my opinion, advice or method of operation and let everything else roll off my back and giggle. It’s not that serious. Thanks for apologizing. Often I type something and it’s not exactly how or what I meant to convey.
playground1 12:26 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
No worries, I write my opinion, advice or method of operation and let everything else roll off my back and giggle. It’s not that serious. Thanks for apologizing. Often I type something and it’s not exactly how or what I meant to convey.
No worries, I write my opinion, advice or method of operation and let everything else roll off my back and giggle. It’s not that serious. Thanks for apologizing. Often I type something and it’s not exactly how or what I meant to convey.
KidGrind 12:27 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
I do that often and usually end up in trouble. Lol. Again, I apologize. I read it again and was like, yes, I sound like a total bitch. :embarrassed: But that wasn't my intention. I love a good debate, but I try to not get nasty.
We’re good on my end. I enjoy your voice on this site whether I agree or disagree with your opinion.I do that often and usually end up in trouble. Lol. Again, I apologize. I read it again and was like, yes, I sound like a total bitch. :embarrassed: But that wasn't my intention. I love a good debate, but I try to not get nasty.
KidGrind 12:28 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by queen_of_the_playground:
You make me laugh! STOP IT! I have a weak bladder.
NightOwl 12:31 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
You make me laugh! STOP IT! I have a weak bladder.
Lololololol You make me laugh! STOP IT! I have a weak bladder.
NightOwl 12:32 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by queen_of_the_playground:
I LOVE your memes, queen!
SunshineMama 12:59 PM 06-11-2014
Wow, this is such a hard situation for you to be in, I am so sorry you are facing this!
On one hand, there is a moral obligation to point out to your parents that there is a sex offender living across from you. But, as a parent, if I found out that there was a sex offender across from my childs daycare, I would definitely leave. That would hurt your business, but as a parent, I would not bet my child's innocence on being 100% sure that you are able to keep them away from my kid. I would care more about what could potentially happen, than your making money. But that's just me.
As a daycare provider, you have to work to make a living. You will lose clients if you tell them, and you will have a hard time getting new clients. From here forward, are you going to begin every interview with, "The sex offender across the street?" Its hard enough to get clients as it is, I'd bet it is almost impossible to do it with a registered sex offender. If you dont plan to tell the new potential clients about it, theres no sense in notifying your current families.
Is getting licensed going to make him have to move, or you? If the answer is that simple, then Id get licensed.
If not, I'd honestly probably keep quiet and just be extra extra vigilant and keep those kiddos safe, and in your direct line of sight at all costs. At the end of the day, no one is going to look out for you and your livlihood. They arent going to feel bad for a second about you not being able to pay your bills. And its true that the unregistered ones are the ones that are even worse. Can you look up the kind of crime it was? It's all bad, but an 18yo dating a 16yo isnt as bad as a pedophile.
One of those terrible curve balls that life throws your way. Im sooooo sorry
On one hand, there is a moral obligation to point out to your parents that there is a sex offender living across from you. But, as a parent, if I found out that there was a sex offender across from my childs daycare, I would definitely leave. That would hurt your business, but as a parent, I would not bet my child's innocence on being 100% sure that you are able to keep them away from my kid. I would care more about what could potentially happen, than your making money. But that's just me.
As a daycare provider, you have to work to make a living. You will lose clients if you tell them, and you will have a hard time getting new clients. From here forward, are you going to begin every interview with, "The sex offender across the street?" Its hard enough to get clients as it is, I'd bet it is almost impossible to do it with a registered sex offender. If you dont plan to tell the new potential clients about it, theres no sense in notifying your current families.
Is getting licensed going to make him have to move, or you? If the answer is that simple, then Id get licensed.
If not, I'd honestly probably keep quiet and just be extra extra vigilant and keep those kiddos safe, and in your direct line of sight at all costs. At the end of the day, no one is going to look out for you and your livlihood. They arent going to feel bad for a second about you not being able to pay your bills. And its true that the unregistered ones are the ones that are even worse. Can you look up the kind of crime it was? It's all bad, but an 18yo dating a 16yo isnt as bad as a pedophile.
One of those terrible curve balls that life throws your way. Im sooooo sorry
TickleMonster 01:55 PM 06-11-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Wow, this is such a hard situation for you to be in, I am so sorry you are facing this!
On one hand, there is a moral obligation to point out to your parents that there is a sex offender living across from you. But, as a parent, if I found out that there was a sex offender across from my childs daycare, I would definitely leave. That would hurt your business, but as a parent, I would not bet my child's innocence on being 100% sure that you are able to keep them away from my kid. I would care more about what could potentially happen, than your making money. But that's just me.
As a daycare provider, you have to work to make a living. You will lose clients if you tell them, and you will have a hard time getting new clients. From here forward, are you going to begin every interview with, "The sex offender across the street?" Its hard enough to get clients as it is, I'd bet it is almost impossible to do it with a registered sex offender. If you dont plan to tell the new potential clients about it, theres no sense in notifying your current families.
Is getting licensed going to make him have to move, or you? If the answer is that simple, then Id get licensed.
If not, I'd honestly probably keep quiet and just be extra extra vigilant and keep those kiddos safe, and in your direct line of sight at all costs. At the end of the day, no one is going to look out for you and your livlihood. They arent going to feel bad for a second about you not being able to pay your bills. And its true that the unregistered ones are the ones that are even worse. Can you look up the kind of crime it was? It's all bad, but an 18yo dating a 16yo isnt as bad as a pedophile.
One of those terrible curve balls that life throws your way. Im sooooo sorry
Thankyou. While a million other things have been said on here, this basicly sums it up and I appreciate your well-rounded views.Wow, this is such a hard situation for you to be in, I am so sorry you are facing this!
On one hand, there is a moral obligation to point out to your parents that there is a sex offender living across from you. But, as a parent, if I found out that there was a sex offender across from my childs daycare, I would definitely leave. That would hurt your business, but as a parent, I would not bet my child's innocence on being 100% sure that you are able to keep them away from my kid. I would care more about what could potentially happen, than your making money. But that's just me.
As a daycare provider, you have to work to make a living. You will lose clients if you tell them, and you will have a hard time getting new clients. From here forward, are you going to begin every interview with, "The sex offender across the street?" Its hard enough to get clients as it is, I'd bet it is almost impossible to do it with a registered sex offender. If you dont plan to tell the new potential clients about it, theres no sense in notifying your current families.
Is getting licensed going to make him have to move, or you? If the answer is that simple, then Id get licensed.
If not, I'd honestly probably keep quiet and just be extra extra vigilant and keep those kiddos safe, and in your direct line of sight at all costs. At the end of the day, no one is going to look out for you and your livlihood. They arent going to feel bad for a second about you not being able to pay your bills. And its true that the unregistered ones are the ones that are even worse. Can you look up the kind of crime it was? It's all bad, but an 18yo dating a 16yo isnt as bad as a pedophile.
One of those terrible curve balls that life throws your way. Im sooooo sorry