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Crazy8 12:54 PM 03-03-2014
how do you handle when divorced parents pay separately? Do you even allow that?

I had both parents paying me without issue for the last few months, dad paid for his days, mom for hers. But apparently there are issues between them because mom has more days per month than dad and now he paid me for an extra day this month and she is due to pay me the rest but I feel like I need to tell her he paid 1 extra day (one of her days) and I just don't want to be involved in their fighting and I don't want to have to ask/remind/tell/guess who is paying for what. Can I tell them only ONE parent can pay and then they can work it out between themselves?? I did have a contract just with dad first, then mom signed up a few months later so that is why we had separate contracts/payments in the first place. Honestly I am thinking of just terming them over it all. They come a half hour before any of my other kids and I don't take school agers to begin with, only took them because I've had them in my daycare for so many years. And get this… it is $5/week that they are fighting over. I just don't get it but I guess divorce does that to people.

So would love to know what policies people have for payments from divorced families???
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blandino 12:59 PM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
how do you handle when divorced parents pay separately? Do you even allow that?

I had both parents paying me without issue for the last few months, dad paid for his days, mom for hers. But apparently there are issues between them because mom has more days per month than dad and now he paid me for an extra day this month and she is due to pay me the rest but I feel like I need to tell her he paid 1 extra day (one of her days) and I just don't want to be involved in their fighting and I don't want to have to ask/remind/tell/guess who is paying for what. Can I tell them only ONE parent can pay and then they can work it out between themselves?? I did have a contract just with dad first, then mom signed up a few months later so that is why we had separate contracts/payments in the first place. Honestly I am thinking of just terming them over it all. They come a half hour before any of my other kids and I don't take school agers to begin with, only took them because I've had them in my daycare for so many years. And get this… it is $5/week that they are fighting over. I just don't get it but I guess divorce does that to people.

So would love to know what policies people have for payments from divorced families???
We stopped allowing it. Granted, this DCM found a way to bicker about anything. But there arose issues of, percentages owed (they didn't have the customary 50/50), and then she was using daycare when she wasn't at work. So should the DCD have to pay 1/2 of that ? We didn't want to be responsible for that.

Also, with another family. DCD's check arrived on time, DCM's didn't. Obviously DCM was charged a late fee, but do you let the child stay ? It was a headache... So now I tell parents that they need to figure it out amongst themselves, and give me one check. That way any failure to pay, is an issue between the two parents and doesn't involve us.

Most of the divorced DCP we have had just take turns paying each week/ bi weekly.
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Blackcat31 12:59 PM 03-03-2014
ALL divorced families have to figure out amongst themselves who will be paying me.

I accept payment from ONE parent only.
I DO give double sets of letters, memos and other info though.

They can work out the details between them and leave me out of it.

TOO much work on my part and too much to keep track of if I do it separately so they are divorced, they can figure it out.

They will have to for the next however many years their kid(s) are little so daycare won't be the first time they have to co-parent in regards to something like this.
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Crazy8 01:09 PM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by blandino:
.

Most of the divorced DCP we have had just take turns paying each week/ bi weekly.
I am afraid that would be an issue too since some weeks include a holiday, etc. I charge SA's monthly - they pay at the beginning of the month for the number of school days that month. They don't pay for school holidays/breaks but do pay for snow days, sick days, etc. so doing this way normally works very well.

Had dad not contracted with me months before mom did I would have done the one payment thing from the beginning but might be time to go that route!
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renodeb 01:09 PM 03-03-2014
I have only had a divorced family one time in 8 year and it was awful because they divorced right in the middle of them being clients of mine. They always bickered about whose days were whose. They paid separately because I didnt know what else to do! The payment agreement of my contract states that both parents are jointly responsible for all cc fees. Once I even had a married couple pay separately. That was weird esp b/c sometime grandma would help pay and then I would have to wait for the chk to come in the mail.
Why don't you just tell Dad that he over paid and not her?
Deb
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sharlan 01:19 PM 03-03-2014
My current divorced parents fight about everything. Almost all exchanges are done at my house. Parent A drops off in the morning and parent B picks up at night.

My contract is with Dad. I don't care whatever agreements they make between themselves. Dad is responsible for all payments whether they agree for Mom to make a payment (which she usually doesn't, but doesn't tell Dad until I remind him about payment).

I would tell the parents to work it out among themselves and only one parent pay you.
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Cat Herder 01:20 PM 03-03-2014
I only contract with one client BUT while reading through MMK autopay info this morning it said to set up each parent with their own account and bill separately.

I'd guess that is what will be "the norm" soon?
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Crazy8 01:24 PM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by renodeb:
I have only had a divorced family one time in 8 year and it was awful because they divorced right in the middle of them being clients of mine. They always bickered about whose days were whose. They paid separately because I didnt know what else to do! The payment agreement of my contract states that both parents are jointly responsible for all cc fees. Once I even had a married couple pay separately. That was weird esp b/c sometime grandma would help pay and then I would have to wait for the chk to come in the mail.
Why don't you just tell Dad that he over paid and not her?
Deb
That's exactly what is going on here - in 13 years this is my first divorcing family and they were one of my first families back then when their first child was a baby and with 4 kids they've been clients of mine more years then they weren't - its the only reason I even take them for before school.

Dad knows he paid the extra day, he just eluded to the fact that this is an issue between them and that's why he is paying the extra day.
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rebekki78 11:47 AM 03-05-2014
I stopped allowing it. I had a really bad experience where one parent paid and one didn't, and when I was trying to do my accounting at the end of the year I was ready to pull may hair out!!!!!!!!!!! I simply asked them to have one parent pay, and the other parent can give their half to the paying parent.

Well, it ended up being a weird circumstance, with split custody every other day, and it is still so confusing sometimes. It is difficult when two parents with two different schedules want to drop off and pick up said child. One parent would not communicate if they were late, or if drop off/pick up times changed. I had to not allow the child over here on the non paying parents days, and they share very other day custody. It is tough to deal with sometimes, and I can tell that the child is affected by it. She gets so confused.
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