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cara041083 11:46 AM 03-25-2014
In your guy's past experience, do babies ever grow out of the crying phase, or get better? I have a baby that I posted about a while back that all she does is cry. She is 4 months old, I have tried everything possible to help her. She did have a reflex issue but that has been delt with. The only time she isn't crying is when she is asleep, or when your in her face playing with her. I know alot of providers would term, but I can't financially afford to do that because I also watch her sister and I would loose both. I really want to try and make this work.
FCCarmyprovider 11:57 AM 03-25-2014
Do you have my ex-dcg? Same age too. Ah I had that little angel for 12 hrs straight and she would cry the whole time. I had her from april-august and it never got better. She first started with no crying, but soon she stopped taking the bottle and cried at everything. If you looked at her or put her on the ground it was waterworks and her cry was like listening to a chalk board being scratched. 
I termed after I thought I was going crazy. Best day of my daycare career.
now im just so much more relaxed.
I termed after I thought I was going crazy. Best day of my daycare career.
now im just so much more relaxed.
Heidi 11:58 AM 03-25-2014
YES!
My 9 mo old WAS that kiddo. He is a fun, super-cool dude now 75 % of the time. The rest of the time, I roll my eyes at him. He's still a little grouchy about stuff not going his way, but eh..
Honestly, if he was fed, rested, and changed, I would put him on the floor and keep encouraging independence. Generally, I tried to not pick him up if he was crying. So, I'd talk to him first, then once he stopped, even for a second, THEN I'd pick him up. I'd always try to do the least intervention I could, too. But, the truth is what really helped him was being able to get around a bit. Once he was mobile, he really improved. 6- 6 1/2 months was the magic number. I did NOT get help from mom, either. I adore her (she's my friend, which is why I didn't term), but she often worked against me on this stuff.
There are still times where he pulls this "I want you to hold me just because I feel like it" game. Usually it's when I am already doing other things...making lunch, playing with or changing someone else, etc. I've taken to putting him away from me, back to me, and throwing a pile of toys on his lap. Usually, if he can't SEE me, he stops whining and plays. As I set him down, I say "your whining hurts my ears, let's find you something else to do". I'm also really big on routines. Consistent meal and nap times (yes, even at 4 months I was working on that), singing songs as cues for activity changes, etc.
My 9 mo old WAS that kiddo. He is a fun, super-cool dude now 75 % of the time. The rest of the time, I roll my eyes at him. He's still a little grouchy about stuff not going his way, but eh..
Honestly, if he was fed, rested, and changed, I would put him on the floor and keep encouraging independence. Generally, I tried to not pick him up if he was crying. So, I'd talk to him first, then once he stopped, even for a second, THEN I'd pick him up. I'd always try to do the least intervention I could, too. But, the truth is what really helped him was being able to get around a bit. Once he was mobile, he really improved. 6- 6 1/2 months was the magic number. I did NOT get help from mom, either. I adore her (she's my friend, which is why I didn't term), but she often worked against me on this stuff.
There are still times where he pulls this "I want you to hold me just because I feel like it" game. Usually it's when I am already doing other things...making lunch, playing with or changing someone else, etc. I've taken to putting him away from me, back to me, and throwing a pile of toys on his lap. Usually, if he can't SEE me, he stops whining and plays. As I set him down, I say "your whining hurts my ears, let's find you something else to do". I'm also really big on routines. Consistent meal and nap times (yes, even at 4 months I was working on that), singing songs as cues for activity changes, etc.
cara041083 12:05 PM 03-25-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
YES!
My 9 mo old WAS that kiddo. He is a fun, super-cool dude now 75 % of the time. The rest of the time, I roll my eyes at him. He's still a little grouchy about stuff not going his way, but eh..
Honestly, if he was fed, rested, and changed, I would put him on the floor and keep encouraging independence. Generally, I tried to not pick him up if he was crying. So, I'd talk to him first, then once he stopped, even for a second, THEN I'd pick him up. I'd always try to do the least intervention I could, too. But, the truth is what really helped him was being able to get around a bit. Once he was mobile, he really improved. 6- 6 1/2 months was the magic number. I did NOT get help from mom, either. I adore her (she's my friend, which is why I didn't term), but she often worked against me on this stuff.
There are still times where he pulls this "I want you to hold me just because I feel like it" game. Usually it's when I am already doing other things...making lunch, playing with or changing someone else, etc. I've taken to putting him away from me, back to me, and throwing a pile of toys on his lap. Usually, if he can't SEE me, he stops whining and plays. As I set him down, I say "your whining hurts my ears, let's find you something else to do". I'm also really big on routines. Consistent meal and nap times (yes, even at 4 months I was working on that), singing songs as cues for activity changes, etc.
Thank you! I feel like I could have wrote the part about the mom myself. I feel like shes board. She is 4 months and rolling over. I feel like she just wants to go but can't. Im glad to hear that it did get better. I am doing everything you said you did. I just don't want to give up. Its not the crying that bothers me, its the not being able to fix it.YES!
My 9 mo old WAS that kiddo. He is a fun, super-cool dude now 75 % of the time. The rest of the time, I roll my eyes at him. He's still a little grouchy about stuff not going his way, but eh..
Honestly, if he was fed, rested, and changed, I would put him on the floor and keep encouraging independence. Generally, I tried to not pick him up if he was crying. So, I'd talk to him first, then once he stopped, even for a second, THEN I'd pick him up. I'd always try to do the least intervention I could, too. But, the truth is what really helped him was being able to get around a bit. Once he was mobile, he really improved. 6- 6 1/2 months was the magic number. I did NOT get help from mom, either. I adore her (she's my friend, which is why I didn't term), but she often worked against me on this stuff.
There are still times where he pulls this "I want you to hold me just because I feel like it" game. Usually it's when I am already doing other things...making lunch, playing with or changing someone else, etc. I've taken to putting him away from me, back to me, and throwing a pile of toys on his lap. Usually, if he can't SEE me, he stops whining and plays. As I set him down, I say "your whining hurts my ears, let's find you something else to do". I'm also really big on routines. Consistent meal and nap times (yes, even at 4 months I was working on that), singing songs as cues for activity changes, etc.
Heidi 12:16 PM 03-25-2014
Originally Posted by cara041083:
Thank you! I feel like I could have wrote the part about the mom myself. I feel like shes board. She is 4 months and rolling over. I feel like she just wants to go but can't. Im glad to hear that it did get better. I am doing everything you said you did. I just don't want to give up. Its not the crying that bothers me, its the not being able to fix it.
Have you tried an excersaucer type thing? My little man really liked to be upright. I'm not a huge fan of contraptions, but it did help him. If she's a bit little, you can brace her with some blankets. I did that for short periods of time' mixed it in with the floor time.Thank you! I feel like I could have wrote the part about the mom myself. I feel like shes board. She is 4 months and rolling over. I feel like she just wants to go but can't. Im glad to hear that it did get better. I am doing everything you said you did. I just don't want to give up. Its not the crying that bothers me, its the not being able to fix it.
racemom 03:43 PM 03-25-2014
Some of the infants I have had are like this and then one day it stops and they become happy! It usually is frustration at being unable to move or really play and once they can it changes. If there is nothing wrong with them it's ok if they cry and if you can't take it anymore it's ok to put them in a safe place and walk away!
melilley 05:45 PM 03-25-2014
I have a dcb who started here at 6 mo. and cried everyday all day unless he was sleeping or eating or unless you were in his face. He did this until he was around a year old! It was not fun! I had the term letter ready and everything, but just couldn't do it. Now, he is so much better. Of course he cries, but not much more than other children his age.
jenn 06:47 PM 03-25-2014
I have had several like this. I know that many don't agree with keeping them and would term, but like you, financially that is just not always an option. It can be hard in my area to find kids.
My experience has been that once they are able to move around well on their own, they are happier. Plus, once they are moving around, they tire themselves out and sleep better.
My experience has been that once they are able to move around well on their own, they are happier. Plus, once they are moving around, they tire themselves out and sleep better.
cara041083 05:43 AM 03-26-2014
Thanks guys. It is very frustrating. I have asked the mom what do they do at home that maybe I can try here and of course she always says "oh she doesn't cry at home like that" I really need to stick it out. It is hard to find kids here also and It took me a full year to finally get full. I have tried the saucer and she is good for about 10 min and then its back to screaming.
cheerfuldom 06:09 AM 03-26-2014
well dont forget that just because the crying doesn't bother you, that doesnt mean it doesnt bother the other kids. How is she napping? I would have a 4 month old on at least three 90 minute naps a day so my first thought is always sleep deprivation. After that, if you are able to safely do so, I would set up a play area in another room so that when she really gets worked up, you can set her in there and let the other kids have a break from the screaming!
cara041083 06:14 AM 03-26-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
well dont forget that just because the crying doesn't bother you, that doesnt mean it doesnt bother the other kids. How is she napping? I would have a 4 month old on at least three 90 minute naps a day so my first thought is always sleep deprivation. After that, if you are able to safely do so, I would set up a play area in another room so that when she really gets worked up, you can set her in there and let the other kids have a break from the screaming!
She naps normal. The other kids I have during the day is her sister (who's used to it) my kids (11 weeks and age 1.5) and then the other day care girl that just turned 1. The other kids I have are school age and get home after she is already gone. So for the most part her crying doesn't even phase them. If it did then I would term. My kids happiness and the care of the other's is my main concern. If it was an issue for the others I would term.well dont forget that just because the crying doesn't bother you, that doesnt mean it doesnt bother the other kids. How is she napping? I would have a 4 month old on at least three 90 minute naps a day so my first thought is always sleep deprivation. After that, if you are able to safely do so, I would set up a play area in another room so that when she really gets worked up, you can set her in there and let the other kids have a break from the screaming!