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Parents and Guardians Forum>Ever Take Another Child's Parents to Small Claims Court?
Unregistered 08:56 PM 04-20-2010
Just curious. I'm not at that point, but if there is one more bite I will.
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QualiTcare 12:11 AM 04-21-2010
i'm no lawyer, but i don't think you'd come out well by taking this to court.

instead, you should take it up with the provider.

biting IS normal, and you don't mention the extent of the biting, but i realize it can be extreme.

my son at one point was bitten 2-3 times every day by the same child. the director of the daycare asked me for time so they could monitor the child who was biting/find her triggers, etc. which i did.

unfortunately, the biting didn't stop. when the worker was changing a diaper or just had her back turned, my son would get bitten.

it was hard because he was such a sweet natured little boy (not being biased) but that was his nature. it got to where he would cry his eyes out when i dropped him off because he knew he was going to be bitten!

i finally told the director (my husband and i went together to her office) that she was going to lose a child - whether it be my son or the biter. i just didn't think it was fair that my son had to leave vs. the biter. afterall, 2-3 times per day EVERY day is excessive.

she moved the biter up to the next age group - as she was getting ready to be 2 years old soon anyway. this not only got her away from my son, but she was intimidated by being the "little fish" in the 2 year old room, and she stopped biting all together.

i don't know if your care provider would be able to move your child or the biter, but if it comes to an ultimatum - "it's my child or the biter" the provider will usually choose you to stay vs. the biter.

give us an update!
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kpa0627 08:23 AM 04-21-2010
I am an in home provider and am having a little issue with a child biting too. The second I go to change a diaper or put the pizza in the oven or go to the bathroom myself is when he goes in for a bite. So please don't assume that the provider isn't watching the children if biting does occur because it happens very quickly when our backs our turned usually. It's a normal stage for young children as they do not have the communication skills and biting gets a response that they want. I wouldn't take it to small claims court but instead be open and talk to your child care provider about it. Ask her what she's doing to try to stop it. Do some research and help her come up with ideas to help. You can always ask to go in and observe yourself. Usually when a plan is set in place to try to really crack down on a biting issue it takes about a month before the child is completely over it. But that means the parents of that child and provider have to be helping and working together. And if you are really at your wits end you can always just tell the provider that you're going to pull your child if she doesn't get rid of the biter. That would be a last resort I would think though. Hope this helps.
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Childminder 09:04 AM 04-21-2010
Go for it! I would LOVE to hear what the judge would do.
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QualiTcare 11:59 AM 04-21-2010
my daughter bit other children on 2 different occassions when she was a toddler. this was after she had been bitten herself/learned to bite!

when i would pick her up from daycare on a typical day - i would always be happy to see her of course, and she would always run up to me - i'd grab her, kiss her, carry her to the car and talk to her etc.

EXCEPT on the two occassions i walked in to find an incident report. i wouldn't pick her up and hold her - i wouldn't look at her - i would say, "no. i'm upset that you're BITING!" i would make her walk to the car. i pretty much gave her the silent treatment so she knew i was NOT happy. she never bit again after the second time i did it, so i think it worked.

when i started working at the daycare, i saw so many parents walk in to find an incident report and they would either say nothing at all and go ahead with their usual hugs and kisses - OR they would pick up the child and say in a baby voice, "are you BITING? why are you doing that, etc." yeah, cus 1 year olds get that. lol.
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Michael 05:15 PM 04-21-2010
It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

We have a whole thread related to biting in the daycare environment: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6
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QualiTcare 10:35 PM 04-21-2010
Originally Posted by michael:
It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

We have a whole thread related to biting in the daycare environment: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6
michael,

that is so true - and i don't think anyone would say otherwise.

however, there is a point when biting is a real problem and no "developmentally appropriate" jargon is going to matter to the victim's parents. i think each individual situation is different. if your child is bitten once or twice a month - or even once a week - i'd say, "well, it's normal - it happens." but there are those extreme cases where a child targets a specific child and bites them every chance they get.

after my daycare provider moved the "biter" to another room to solve the problem of my son being bitten - there was a time where i was working in the room that the "biter" was in - the 2 year old room. she and my son had been separated for 2 months when my daycare provider/boss brought my son out (carrying him in her arms) from the 1 year old class because she wanted to tell me about something he did. the child who used to bite him 2-3 times a day and hadn't seen him in 2 months - immediately dropped what she was doing - ran over to the gate/wall divider and tried to grab his dangling leg (that was dangling from my boss's hip) so that she could bite him! she hadn't bitten ANYONE else in the 2 months since she had been "moved up," but couldn't wait to sink her teeth into my son at the first chance she got. it was at that moment that my boss/daycare provider realized this was not the typical biting scenario. the look on her face was pure shock and disbelief - and i thought, "if only she had seen this BEFORE i gave her the ultimatum to do something or i was leaving." she even told me that she had never seen anything like that and just couldn't believe it.
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Unregistered 06:07 PM 04-22-2010
Originally Posted by michael:
It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

We have a whole thread related to biting in the daycare environment: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6
I keep hearing how this is so developmentally normal, but I don't give a rat's behind. My child was hurt by the same child and his parents said "so?" What I consider to be "normal" biting for a toddler would be fighting over a toy and biting the other person. This bitter came up to my child and bit him on the back. There was no frustration with my son either time and this happened twice in 3 days. He broke skin on the second bite which is when I let loose on the director.

The other children't safety is more important than letting the bitter have his developemental moments. No way I would let my son be in that classroom being bitten several times a week while they work it out with the other child. I don't understand why a parent would subject their child to that!

The other child was almost 2, so he was moved up because they were afraid I was going to pull out my son. I have no idea who that child is doing in the next room, but I do know there are several bitters in that room. Honestly, I am wondering about how this center deals with biting and if it is effective.
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hawkfan428 04:12 PM 04-23-2010
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I keep hearing how this is so developmentally normal, but I don't give a rat's behind. My child was hurt by the same child and his parents said "so?" What I consider to be "normal" biting for a toddler would be fighting over a toy and biting the other person. This bitter came up to my child and bit him on the back. There was no frustration with my son either time and this happened twice in 3 days. He broke skin on the second bite which is when I let loose on the director.

The other children't safety is more important than letting the bitter have his developemental moments. No way I would let my son be in that classroom being bitten several times a week while they work it out with the other child. I don't understand why a parent would subject their child to that!

The other child was almost 2, so he was moved up because they were afraid I was going to pull out my son. I have no idea who that child is doing in the next room, but I do know there are several bitters in that room. Honestly, I am wondering about how this center deals with biting and if it is effective.
I agree with my Michael said. Really, all I have to say to you is...try working in a toddler room for a week. It happens. It always has, it always will. I'm not saying I don't feel bad for your child, but what's the point of trying to take them to court? What if the situation were turned around? What if your son was the one biting for no reason? It just happens.
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Tags:biting, small claims
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