I really thinking I need to term this family. I put SA-DCB (5) in time out for swearing again and he looked at me with a very mad face and said "I do not want to be in time out" - I also got "I do not like it here" "I do not want a DCP"

Anyways, I gave him 2 choices. Either sit down or we were going inside so he could stand in the corner. He stared at me with that angry face, did not move. So I called everyone to the porch and into the house. Told him to go wash his hands first before he headed to the corner, he stood in the bathroom, so I helped him wash his hands and walked him to the corner.
Oh I told him that he will not disrespect me in my home.

That was Monday. Today, while eating his snack, we were talking I caught him rolling his eyes. I found it to be odd. Then it was time for him to head out side when, I told him to get his jacket. He "did not want to wear" "mom did not pack it" when I said, then no outside he says "wait let me look" as he rolled his eyes. Time out again for lying and rolling your eyes.

I have a feeling that the "eye roll" is him doing as he was told by his parents, even though he does not agree with me.

Now he is the oldest of 3. Them finding care for all three with out going to the center and paying double, is nearly impossible currently for where we live. (I know not my problem.) However, I only really want to term him but I can see DCM being upset and not sure how to go about terming. DO I term all or just DCB. DCG is DD playmate but she will adapt. The yDCB is weaning AM nap and I do not want to start over there. I need financial to fill only one of the 3 spots before term just in case I term all or DCM pulls the other 2 after term.

What to do? just him or all 3. How would you do it?
What was your first term like?

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your headline had my eyes popping out I couldn't read the rest....lol

so funny


I will go back and read now

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I don't want to sound mean, but some of this sounds harsh.'
The swearing, I get, but don't put him in the corner.

I would tell him those words are no ok and they are not nice. let him sit out and think of better words to use. when you come back to him you an tell him that the swear words are hurtful and make you feel very sad. Then tell him what he can do when he feels frustrated like he wants to swear. Give him words he can use. It sounds like he really wants some attention and just may have a hard time letting down his walls and trusting an adult.

I have never had a kid swear before, but i have had a child that sounded like this that walked around angry at life. He is a doll now and one of my favs.

as for the jacket, I would not fight a kid on that. is it really worth it to fight a child to wear a jacket? he may not really be cold. I would tell him well you don't have to wear it, but if you get cold it's in your box.

If the parents came and were upset he didn't have a jacket on just say to them what they always say to us. Sorry I couldn't get him to put it on, good luck.

If you really can't deal with this child, then expect for the family to term al 3 kids. I am sure it would be very hard to have to pick up kids at different locations, but some families do it.

just my two cents

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He went to the corner because he wouldn't sit down. This is not the first time he swore. When I put him in time out in the opening, he spends his time dancing every time I turn my back or making faces to get the other kids to laugh. He will run around the table when he thinks I am not looking. This boy is full of disrepect for me and his parents. For him to not get some time out in 2 hours for bullying, swearing or down right disrespecting me or dh, means he either got picked up earlier or I am exhausted and praying that I don't lose my mind.
Yes he hates the corner because it means he can not goof off with an audience. Plus he was given a choice, sit down or corner.

He was also given a choice coat or stay inside.

Oh I do not find you to be harsh, I under stand that you don't know the whole story or even had to deal with this child.

Oh once asked him to come see me and started screaming at me because he did not want to. The kicker, I was going to thank him for his good behavior.

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As difficult as it is for you to hear, you are going about the guidance of young children in the wrong way. I can tell you don't want to hear anything but your way by the response you gave to the previous post. Contrary to what you said, the previous poster does know the sort of situation you're talking about. She also knows your response is incorrect and will get you no where. Putting children in corners for making the wrong choices is not the way you get respect. Furthermore, you are giving the child the wrong choices to choose from and setting you both up for failure. You really do need to learn guidance techniques from a reputable source (NAEYC or a college accredited course or a course promoted by your county or something- not an online thing that looks good to you- anyone can write an online thing). Is putting kids in the corner even legal according to lisencing standards?!
Maybe if you do term over this, hopefully the boy will land in the hands of a provider who can take care of him- all of him- not just making him wear a jacket. But teaching him he is important, his thoughts and feelings count for something. And that he can care about others and do kind things and make small compromises without losing face and that it's okay to make mistakes.
Either way, term or not, I hope you at least consider thinking about changing your approach. I'm sure this whole message will receive plenty of eye rolls (!) from you, but I feel angry for the dcb.

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Oh my god putting a child in the corner is not crime .can I ask what she did that was so bad she gave choicess she did not force or anything like that and she gave a consequences for his actions. Sounds good to me.really u say dont make him wear the jacket , this may sound harsh but really she is the provider she is the boss and has the right to make him wear that jacket she is looking out for whats best for the children she is doing her job.now if it was cold and the parents seen him without a jacket then she would be in trouble and have to hear from the parents.

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A couple of my pre-coffee rambling thoughts:

You know that old saying, "The kids that need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways." This dcb sounds like he fits the bill.

How long has he been there? Is he your oldest one there? Is he the one who needs a nap after school? How did that resolve with the parents and dcb?

He sounds overtired and stressed out from the school day. Releasing his anxieties (in inappropriate ways) when he gets to your place. If this is your napping guy, I am going to say that his behaviour is related to being tired. So mom and dad need to get their act together and get him to sleep at a decent time so that he can be his best self. First year of school? It is a HUGE adjustment for some children. Maybe bedtime needs to be moved WAY up for a small period of time.

My initial thought is to reverse things around with him: find the positive, ignore the negative. Just for a week. He is trying to push your buttons and seeking negative attention. Drop that with him. Show him that it doesn't work.

If you have had the family a while and are willing to work with him, I would place the child on probation. And tell mom that due to his behaviours, it is him only that is on probation, not the other children. I would lay out what he has been doing and also the fact that he is not responding to your disciplining techniques. I would be putting much of this back on the parents to fix. Hopefully one of the other providers has some great ideas for this. But I would absolutely expect the parents to back you on your expectations and chat with dcb. If he is doing these same behaviours at home, they need to be on the same page as you. He is old enough and knows better. I would possibly be callling for pick up if there are 3 or more incidents per day. Possibly immediate pick up for swearing. (that gets my goat)

I wouldn't feel badly about terming, either. You know if the parents will work with you or not. You know if you are willing to invest more time and energy into this child and getting these behaviours under control.

Either way, I would be advertising, just in case. Whether parents leave the other children there or not, I would be advertising for 3 spaces and see what happens.

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I would tell mom that SA dcboy has outgrown your toddler/preschool program. Tell her you are not equipped for school aged care and DC boy is "so advanced" he seems bored and unhappy despite your best efforts and you want better for him. Provide her with the numbers for school aged programs only.

I have a SA boy who would behave in similar fashion so I make sure that it's a lot of provider led activity is set locations (no free play) because he just doesn't make good decisions. I told his mom after this past summer with him that he is too old to be here on a daily basis when school is out. She understood.

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I think this is a really good approach if you really want to stop watching him. I had a SA boy like that once (luckily only on school holidays) and I also had his baby brother and didn't want to lose brother. So I told mom that it wasn't working out to have both school age and babies as I wasn't able to give the school ager what he needed such as enough outdoor time as I had to tend to babies inside and couldn't do both at once. Also he was bored without someone his own age to play with and needed to be with older kids, etc. I think deep down she knew though because he was a handful at home too.

I also think a nap after school wouldn't hurt but not a long one. I remember when my daughter got off the kindergarten bus years ago she was a bundle of nastiness because she was tired. Way back in the day when I went to kindergarten it was only a half day. Some kindergartners just need that nap still.

Laurel

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I would also talk to mom about how you believe DCB has outgrown your program and that you simply aren't a good fit to accommodate his needs anymore. I also have a group varying in ages, and the SA are my worst group simply because they don't get to do as much as they are interested in because I also have young babies who are either napping or like now, it's too cold for me to take some of my littles out as much as we would like.

I had a boy nearly identical to the one you're describing -- he was 7 when he left, but he was also disrespectful and a handful. No amount of redirection nor positive/negative reinforcement would work. He simply needed more, and I was relieved when mom switched them to a program at our local YMCA where they have many many activities where he could be active and happy! Is there a Y in your area that you may be able to suggest to mom so as to keep the little brother? Often, busses drop off there and it's very reasonably priced!

When you know that neither you nor the child is happy with him there, it makes for a stressful situation. And it's not really anyone's fault. I do not disagree with how you disciplined, as every program is different and parents choose based on similar beliefs. I often had to do much of the same with my 7 yo. No amount of positive reinforcement helped. He actually got worse because he thought that what he was doing was working, and he'd act out more and worse to get even more attention. So yes, I think it was unfair for you to be lashed out at on here, especially when you're looking for help with the situation! Good luck!

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I think the outgrown conversation is a good one. The jacket I wouldn't push it. If he is cold he can put it on. I see it kind of like food issues, I won't fight with a child to eat something they can it it or be hungry, I see the jacket the same way. Pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff. If you are worried about the parents being upset over the jacket (or something similar) just tell them when they come "Johnny wouldn't wear a jacket today so he was a little cold, but I couldn't keep all the kids inside all day as it is against regulation" because in many states you have to provide some outside time.

As far as the corner, I was put in one as a kid, it was the old time "time out". However I know in Kansas we were not allowed to. They considered it demeaning, which is considered abusive basically. If you are putting children in the corner and run into a parent upset by it, you can expect a visit from licensing. I don't know about Ohio, but I just don't do it, I don't need any issues!

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Absolutely correct. It's not a crime, and I am not going to weigh in on the debate. Whether it's wrong or right isn't the issue. The question should be: is the child care provider getting the result she wants with the strategies she is currently using? From her posts, it sounds like the answer is no.

You can't keep employing the same strategy and expect a different result. The child isn't going to change. The parents aren't going to change. The provider can; however, change her own behavior.

Forcing the jacket and the corner haven't worked. Why not let him go without a jacket? If he gets cold, he will put on a jacket. He's probably just saying no because he wants to engage in a power struggle. If he thinks the provider doesn't care either way, he may just give up and put on the jacket because he is the only one who suffers if he chooses not to.

Regarding the swear words, I would talk to him once and then completely ignore him. I would have everyone else ignore him too. As is, "sorry, we can't talk to dcb when he uses words like that" and go on about your day. It's no fun to use swear words if nobody cares. Hope that makes sense.

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Geez, some pretty strong responses from people who are apparent experts at how everyone should do childcare. I agree that the best way to talk to dcm would be to say that he has outgrown your program and is becoming bored, which has led to a lot of defiant behavior. You gave him choices and he chose time out. Wearing a coat is not an option here either. You wear it or you don't go outside. At 40 degrees this am, letting him decide not to wear his coat would simply mean we all bundle up, go outside, two minutes later when he is cold, I have to bring everyone else back inside so he can get his coat on...um, nope. He won't get a choice at school either. At our school, kids who don't have weather appropriate clothing have to stay inside and read. When I was young, we got to spend recess writing "I will not forget to bring my boots to school." about 30 times. It is a liability to take a child outside when you know they are not in proper clothes for the weather. As nannyde says, parents cannot give you permission to do the wrong thing and neither can a 5 year old. Dcb is being stubborn and rude. That may be from boredom, being tired, or being stressed by school, but it seems obvious that he is not fitting in your program and his behavior will start rubbing off on the other kids, so I would tell mom he has outgrown your program, but be prepared to lose all 3 just in case she finds somewhere for all of them to go.

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Yup I termed a SA boy who was so rude and disrespectful, it was awful. He started rubbing off on the others and that was it. That kid could have used some corner time at home in addition to here But instead mom never said no, never corrected behavior, let dcb choose everything from bedtimes to dinner (even if she had already cooked, if he said he wanted something else they'd have to run right out to the store so she could make it) the list goes on. He was a big reason I stopped doing SA care. Too many kids act like this now.

Oh and jackets aren't a choice here either. If it's 35 degrees out, you wear a coat. Most say "oh they'll put it on when they get cold"... And sure some will, but some will play happily without it for whatever reason and that poses way too much of a risk. For providers and the child.

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If you think I was talking about redirection and positive/negative reinforcement in my post regarding proper training, I'm not. Those aren't even what is taught in a current, reputable class on guidance. Literally, take a class. Stop trying old techniques from before people knew how children and human psychology develops. I have a serious question for those of you who like 'the corner' and demand a higher level of respect from children than from adults: can you honestly say where did you get the idea of doing 'the corner'? If it came from your parent or a teacher, where do you think THEY got the idea? And so on and so forth. How far back do you think it goes and why did those first adults use it? Do you really feel that those traditions and ideas, and ideals, are those really aligned with your beliefs? Have you ever heard of the old 'go and pick a switch'? I have. It was meant for me to go pick a light long whip of a branch from a tree for my parent to hit me with. It was (and maybe still is) a common form of getting respect and punishng kids. Where do you think my parents learned it, and theirs?.. It makes no sense to carry on with things just because that's what a precious generation did. It's hard because its imprinted in your family life from birth, but we must reflect on and change what isn't right. If we don't, what really is the point of it all?

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Oh for sure if it is that cold you wouldn't go out without a coat, in my post I didn't mean to imply that. I am only posting from the range of what my weather is right now in the upper 50s and 60's. Here it is common for people to go without coats and jackets in that weather, but some people are chilly. I would never say do something abusive and 35-40 would be on that line if not crossing it. But I also know that in many states licensing says you have to take the children outside. In that case when you are a single provider, you can't leave one inside to read or write. So I guess I don't know what you do if it is cold in that situation other than call the parent for pick up.

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I had to do both those things growing up. I don't do them now, but I turned out okay living with them. In our generation of growing up, going to the corner was really the same as a time out. It just isn't accepted today. I don't understand why I just know we can't really do it anymore. I don't see how that is more demeaning than a time out chair. I mean all the other kids still know you are in time out, so I don't get it. Yes, different generations do things differently but I am not sure one is better or worse. I almost think that kids wouldn't be so unruly if so many parents didn't believe in just letting kids do whatever they want though.

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Similar to guiding children, we also need to spend more time actually guiding caregivers in appropriate responses and actions verses simply admonishing them for everything you feel they are doing wrong.

I did not see one single supportive suggestion or a single alternate option given to this provider. Is that helpful in any way?

Instead, I hear/read "You are bad. You are doing it wrong. Shame on you."

Which is kind of exactly what you are saying she incorrectly said/did to DCB.

You may feel angry for DCB but I feel angry for the provider.

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Yeah those temps make it tricky! I almost prefer either hot or cold, no middle ground lol. For 50s-60s I generally say kids have to wear a coat outside but if they get warm while playing they can take it off. I figure that way they get used to putting it on every time, and will have it out there if they need it.

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I've taken far more classes then I care to remember lol. In addition to 15+ years of professional experience and a degree in Early Childhood. I suspect many on here have similar records. I have to ask though, are kids today more respectful to adults and each other? More polite? More considerate? I have a very hard time answering yes to that. I personally value the advice from older generations, and am thankful for the discipline my parents gave me. My husband would say the same about his childhood and he's older then me. I would rather trust the methods used that worked then a "new" idea that doesn't seem to be doing much for kids or providers.

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Because, BC, I said to take a class and where to find a class. If I told her specifics like I have done before, they all have a meltdown! I feel like giving up, but at the same time, I want them to know that what they are doing is wrong. These are adults and not children and they aren't in my care, under my control, and stuck with no escape. They can say, hm, maybe I'll look I to it. That's the best I can hope for. If they don't, they don't. I'm not going to spell it all out again and again just to be complained at. And the responses that have nothing to do with what I'm talking about. They're like oh no I won't redirect or reinforce or a time out chair which is another thing no one would teach if these providers would just take ONE single class in child development. It just becomes beyond frustrating because it seems they just don't care about doing a good job at something important. We're not stocking shelves here, we're shaping lives. Look at guidance on the website for NAEYC. I said that, I'm saying it again.

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I too, have a degree and years of experience in Early Childhood and feel that sometimes kids need to learn things the hard way verses the gentle, guided approaches that most ECE educators suggest if those approaches are not working and the parents are not at all on board with curbing those negative behaviors that not only affect the provider but the other kids in attendance as well.

The NAEYC does not always take in to consideration the individual aspects of the situation not to mention that a majority of the methods they recommend are applied to early childhood classrooms that are set up to be developmentally appropriate for the specific age group they serve. The methods don't always apply to family childcare and care being given in a single family home.

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But you are forgetting that not all the providers here are early childhood educators. Many of them are simply stay at home mom's trying to make an income. Many of them are providing good quality care and not necessarily concerned with educational aspects....which isn't required for FAMILY child care.

The OP isn't a preschool. She's family daycare. We cant' expect every single provider to know the proper methods or know the right or wrong in their actions. We simply can't. NOT when the face of child care is so diverse.

It's not appropriate.

If the OP serves preschool and under children then the child she is venting about should really not be there but because she is FAMILY care she needs to have some support and guidance in HOW to effectively operate so that she IS doing things in the best interest of ALL parties involved....not just according to the NAEYC.

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Personally, your delivery would make me not value your advice if I were the OP. I'm much more apt to accept ideas from someone who presents them in a constructive manner, vs condescending. Just me, though.

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To this point, I find mixing age groups the hardest part of being a home daycare provider. Isn't this the exact reason many won't take SA kids? I myself either want all SA or all preschool if I get to choose. It is so hard to mix them and I think is is much of the issue the OP is having. It is hard for one person to cater to both groups. I am not sure any amount of classes and trainings can make that aspect easier.

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Yes! That is my point exactly!

NOTHING in all my years of college, nothing written in the NAEYC code of ethics, philosophy statements or DAP approaches to guidance, nothing in any of my college textbooks or in any of my years of experience working in Head Start or in family childcare really addresses appropriate guidance, discipline and/or methods of caring for and teaching in a mixed age group, alone and with no support from the family itself.

That is something even veteran providers with years of experience struggle with and no two situations are ever the same.

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I put children in the corner also, they hate it. The warning should be enough for them to fall in line... or go to the corner. You could try taking away big kid privileges. Have him take a nap when he acts like this? He may need the extra sleep??
Disrespectfulness is a major pet peeve of mine. You will be punished. Unacceptable in daycare, school and the real world.
Swearing... just wait until you have another dck swear at home and tell his parents where he heard it...

I agree with saying he has out grown your program. Is he in kg? Check into some after school programs to talk about when you have the talk with dcp.

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Child development has been studied for almost a 100 years and you are basically saying that we cannot use the generations before us as a means to care for children in today's world. Wouldn't the same be said about YOUR ways in another 10-30 years? You say the old ways are wrong, so give it another decade and we will see how your ways ave worked out. So far, the whole gentle, "lets not upset little Jimmy" approach has done nothing for improving behavior in our children. Which is why I don't do it. I expect respect and I give it to my children, but they are children and need to learn exactly how that two way street operates and it is my job to teach them.

Most of us in the 30+ age group were taught how to raise kids by our parents ad grandparents. Many young parents today do not have that background and rely on courses like you describe to learn how to care for their special little child. If anything, I have seen a decline in child behavior in my 17 years of experience. It is perfectly fine to validate a child's feelings and use words, rather than punishment to teach better behavior. The op used words by giving dcb a choice in his situation. He was given every chance to make a good choice and he didn't. He chose to use bad behavior and deal with the consequence. School, college, and the real world will probably not give him those choices and they really don't care how he feels about it. You can either prepare him for that world, or keep preparing for a world that does not exist. And then wait to see if he succeeds. Many kids who are being raised under the notion that they are special, find out very quickly that they are not. And that is an okay lesson to learn early. My kids are part of our family. They are not the center of it.

You can feel however you want and do things however you want, but don't say everyone else who came before you is wrong. That is down right rude and disrespectful to many other providers. It is the exact opposite of what you say should be done with children, so if you are gonna preach it, then live it!

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Am I to understand from this that children are more well behaved now with these changed expectations and regulations? That these "new and improved" methods are superior and work better? With what I have witnessed both professionally and personally, I am HORRIFIED by how children act today. And the adults that they turn into are often even more frightening. There is a BIG difference between discipline and abuse. I was personally spanked, belted, whipped, stuck in the corner, etc. but I was also shown love for the actions I did right. As a result, I am a respectful and strong, independent woman.

I am not condoning spanking or hitting (obviously this is never something I would even consider doing to someone else's child). I do, however, believe in consequences for misbehaving. And I very clearly outline my expectations in my policies. If parents agree with me, they sign on with me. If they don't, they're free to walk. No one didn't sign on because they disagreed with my disciplinary actions.

As someone else stated, rather than demeaning people, you could have offered advice and input. Is pointing at someone, telling them, "you're wrong!" the most effective way to help someone? When they're already asking for help? Because that's how I read your posts.

But I suppose I am nothing but an undereducated, clueless individual and need to take more classes because of my differing views.

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Me too!!

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This is where I like to come for help, not to be given the third degree

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amen!!!

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NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct and Statement of Commitment(s)

Section III:
Ethical responsibilities to colleagues

In a caring, cooperative workplace, human dignity is respected, professional satisfaction is promoted, and positive relationships are developed and sustained. Based upon our core values, our primary responsibility to colleagues is to establish and maintain settings and relationships that support productive work and meet professional needs. The same ideals that apply to children also apply as we interact with adults in the workplace.

A-Responsibilities to co-workers
Ideals
I-3A.1-To establish and maintain relationships of respect, trust, confidentiality, collaboration, and cooperation with co-workers.

I-3A.2-To share resources with co-workers, collaborating to ensure that the best possible early childhood care and education program is provided.

I-3A.3-To support co-workers in meeting their professional needs and in their professional development.

I-3A.4-To accord co-workers due recognition of professional achievement.


Principles
P-3A.1-We shall recognize the contributions of colleagues to our program and not participate in practices that diminish their reputations or impair their effectiveness in working with children and families.

P-3A.2-When we have concerns about the professional behavior of a co-worker, we shall first let that person know of our concern in a way that shows respect for personal dignity and for the diversity to be found among staff members, and then attempt to resolve the matter collegially and in a confidential manner.

P-3A.3-We shall exercise care in expressing views regarding the personal attributes or professional conduct of co-workers. Statements should be based on firsthand knowledge, not hearsay, and relevant to the interests of children and programs.

P-3A.4-We shall not participate in practices that discriminate against a co-worker because of sex, race, national origin, religious beliefs or other affiliations, age, marital status/family structure, disability, or sexual orientation.

http://www.naeyc.org/

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My first term was for a similar situation. I've found that sometimes the older kids act resentful because they feel like they are at a "baby" place. I told his mom that he seemed to have outgrown the program. When someone doesn't want to be here and shows it through negativity, it's draining on the entire group. I'd be surprised if he wasn't also complaining at home, too, so they may already be thinking of alternatives, too.

Does his school have after-school care where he could be with his peers and classmates? It's usually more affordable, too. I'd just have a talk with dcp and tell them some of the behaviors that I've observed and that he would probably be happier in an after-school program. (My dcb acted exactly the same at his new place, but I felt like a huge weight had been lifted!)

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I had a child very much like this in my care. I tired redirection, him being my special friend and never leaving my side, meetings with mom, time out, we talked about our feelings and how we treat people and why. You name I am pretty sure we covered it. It was stressful and awful. Icing on the cake was when he called DD a $%#&* and then turned around and called me one. I called dcm who was on her way back from a funeral apologized for the timing of the call etc. I explained to her what he said and told her I would no longer be able to provide care effective immediately. She didn't say much, besides okay. She didn't pick up that day a relative did.

I would term only him. If she chooses to pull all three that is her choice. You can't do anything about that. I have had a dck tell me they didn't like it here before. I just looked at them and said it made me sad to hear that I am sorry they feel that way. Then went on about my business. You have to do what is right for you and your program.

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I guess I started this and said don't use the corner and didn't explain well. I guess I should have said stop using the corner because its not working, not because it is wrong or that she is wrong for doing it, but because it is the wrong method for the child. If he was responding to it, it would have worked.

As someone else said "The kids that need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways." I offered ways to maybe try and connect with him.

what she was doing so far she said has not worked, so I gave some ideas. I offered suggestions that have worked well for me in the past and shared in hopes that maybe it will work for that child and provider too.

As for the jacket, where I live, I would have this option all year around. Rigt now it's 88 outside. I guess I didn't realize where the provider lived and I have no experience with cold weather that could pose harm on a child. The coldest it has ever been here is maybe 38-40.

I feel like others are picking things apart, but what do I know......

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Just for clarification, my responses have been to the unregistered poster who said what she did is wrong and sort of went off on her. I agree, if the methods are not working, then it is time to reevaluate. In this case, I wold think it is best to end care for dcb as he is not fitting well with the group and has outgrown the program.

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Wow.
Let me start by clarifying some things that I feel are being misunderstood.

A. His choice was to put on the coat to go out and play or stay inside to play.
(what he did was lie about having a coat, then roll his eyes, then went and got his coat. He made his choice to wear the coat. I did not force him to do it. Not sure how that was setting him up to fail. Not to mention, he was cold walking up the driveway after he got off the bus)

B. His choice was to sit down for time out (and stop yelling at me) or go to the corner.
(He choose the corner)

C. He is in 1st grade not K.

D. I also notice that I wrote "stand" in the corner. He "sits" facing the corner.



Now to answer any questions

1. He has been here since June. He is the oldest one. He is the same one that is tried after school. DCM has not been talkative since I charged her late fees. She is always in a hurry mode. They been getting DCB from school on Fridays.
I am currently advertising and interviewing.

2. I have been keeping his time here a consistent. We walk up the driveway and talk. He washes and has snack, giving him one on one with me and some downtime. He wash again and gets ready to go out. When we come in he washes. Then it is to the table to color til DCM or DCD arrives. (DCM / DCD have recently been coming at unpredictable times.)

3. Having him nap is not always feasible. This is some times the other kids only outside time. I can not have him napping inside while I am out. My DH is home and he sits with the kids outside as I get DCB off the bus and his snack. Then my DH may have to go do something else.

4. The schools have the Y care in the building. I hinted to that when school started. She does not want to pay for it, not sure the cost. I honestly think that would be a great option for him though. Kids his own age / other first graders.

5. Yes we are required out side time. but he had plenty of outside time in school. (thus the choice to stay inside)


Thank you

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I have definitely been thinking about awkward sex all morning due to the subject

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Agreed 1000%!!!!!

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I would just let mom know it isn't working and again suggest the school program. If paying for it is an issue, have her check into it more because many of those programs are based on income. Now that doesn't solve the issue of being able to pay and not wanting to of course.

As far as the corner, I would just call and check with licensing to be sure it isn't an issue. I see what you are saying, but that won't keep you out of a bind with them. I am not saying it is right or wrong as much licensing may see it as wrong. As I said on my post above I see them as basically the same thing but not everyone does.

I am jaded when it comes to these things and people acting/behaving badly towards me. I have had my fill of it and just don't accept it from anyone anymore. I told my own son the other day he had disrespected me for the last time and if he couldn't treat me with respect not to contact me until he can. And I meant it. I love him with all I have, but he can't treat me with disrespect. That being said, I wouldn't take it from a child either.

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