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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Wow..Advice Please
Unregistered 08:20 AM 03-29-2016
Just read on FB a current family of mine is looking for new daycare - they haven't even talked to
Me about. People are free to
Do what they want but I'm not even sure how to approach this.
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midaycare 08:27 AM 03-29-2016
Carry on as normal and look for a replacement asap. Also, did the dcf mentio. It was for them? Might be for a friend.
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Unregistered 08:32 AM 03-29-2016
For them - great detail about their girl.
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CalCare 08:44 AM 03-29-2016
I see.... It was for them. Okay, so yeah, I wouldn't say anything to them. And look to replace. When you have a replacement, term them. That seems the only way to go!
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Unregistered 08:50 AM 03-29-2016
I don't plan to replace them as I'm Good in enrollment. I feel it's pretty crappy to post on social Media without even talking to me about it. Esp as I didn't know there were problems or anything changing.
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Thriftylady 08:58 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I don't plan to replace them as I'm Good in enrollment. I feel it's pretty crappy to post on social Media without even talking to me about it. Esp as I didn't know there were problems or anything changing.
Well in that case, I would give them notice. If they ask why tell them you saw the post and assumed they were no longer happy with your care, and without trust you can't have a working relationship.
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Unregistered 09:03 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Well in that case, I would give them notice. If they ask why tell them you saw the post and assumed they were no longer happy with your care, and without trust you can't have a working relationship.
Would you term immediately? my contract states 4 weeks and also I am able To Term immediately.
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Thriftylady 09:09 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Would you term immediately? my contract states 4 weeks and also I am able To Term immediately.
Tough call there. I mean if they haven't actually broken any rules that would be tough for me to do. My notice is two weeks, because I have found generally when people give notice regardless of which party gives it, the relationship gets stressed during the notice period. Maybe give the 4 weeks and if something goes wrong you can term immediately? If you go that route I would put on the notice I was reserving that right as per my contract.
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Blackcat31 09:10 AM 03-29-2016
Personally, I'd ask them about it.

They may have hours changing or may be looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side.

Doesn't always mean something is wrong...just that they want to know what's out there.

Who knows but the only way to find out is to ask.

I wouldn't term them just because you think they are terming you. I personally think that's unprofessional and spiteful and not something I would ever consider doing unless I'd traveled other avenues first without any luck.
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Thriftylady 09:16 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally, I'd ask them about it.

They may have hours changing or may be looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side.

Doesn't always mean something is wrong...just that they want to know what's out there.

Who knows but the only way to find out is to ask.

I wouldn't term them just because you think they are terming you. I personally think that's unprofessional and spiteful and not something I would ever consider doing unless I'd traveled other avenues first without any luck.
I guess I see it differently. I think if they feel like they can't come talk to me first, something is broken in our trust. And I just won't do care without having trust. It isn't about who terms first to me, more that if they feel they can't come talk to me about needing a different arrangement, things must have already went south.
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Blackcat31 09:21 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I guess I see it differently. I think if they feel like they can't come talk to me first, something is broken in our trust. And I just won't do care without having trust. It isn't about who terms first to me, more that if they feel they can't come talk to me about needing a different arrangement, things must have already went south.
Different strokes for different folks.
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Unregistered 09:21 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I guess I see it differently. I think if they feel like they can't come talk to me first, something is broken in our trust. And I just won't do care without having trust. It isn't about who terms first to me, more that if they feel they can't come talk to me about needing a different arrangement, things must have already went south.
Right - it completely isn't about me terming them first. I've had this family for years and am in complete shock that they post on social media that they are looking for new care without talking to
Me about any new needs. I've been sooo accommodating to all
Of my families needs over the years.
I feel the trust is broken within seconds of their posts. I've done everything for this family. Honestly.
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Blackcat31 09:25 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Right - it completely isn't about me terming them first. I've had this family for years and am in complete shock that they post on social media that they are looking for new care without talking to
Me about any new needs. I've been sooo accommodating to all
Of my families needs over the years.
I feel the trust is broken within seconds of their posts. I've done everything for this family. Honestly.
It might not have anything to do with you.

Maybe they felt if they brought it up to you, you'd get upset and term them because they tried to talk to you..

Who knows but if you value open communication, then set the stage and open up a dialogue with them about this.
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Ariana 09:32 AM 03-29-2016
This kind of stuff doesn't bother me too much. I never assume the worst, I simply assume they want something different. Different hours or different price or different policies, better location etc. I am a great provider so I don't take this as a slight against me at all.

I know one parent who switched providers who felt terrible about telling me in advance because they actually like me and think I am great and it is nothing personal. They simply wanted a provider that was closer to them and that had extended hours....something I wouldn't do. Not getting up at 6am sorry! I think they were surprised that I took it so well. It is a business afterall and families have to do what is best for them just like I do
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Blackcat31 09:34 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
This kind of stuff doesn't bother me too much. I never assume the worst, I simply assume they want something different. Different hours or different price or different policies, better location etc. I am a great provider so I don't take this as a slight against me at all.

I know one parent who switched providers who felt terrible about telling me in advance because they actually like me and think I am great and it is nothing personal. They simply wanted a provider that was closer to them and that had extended hours....something I wouldn't do. Not getting up at 6am sorry! I think they were surprised that I took it so well. It is a business afterall and families have to do what is best for them just like I do

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Josiegirl 09:40 AM 03-29-2016
I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and wondering what I'd do. I hope I'd bring it up because it might give you answers, it might not, but one way or the other you need to clear the air.
But I certainly don't understand posting searching for new daycare on FB and knowing you're most likely going to read it.
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Unregistered 09:44 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and wondering what I'd do. I hope I'd bring it up because it might give you answers, it might not, but one way or the other you need to clear the air.
But I certainly don't understand posting searching for new daycare on FB and knowing you're most likely going to read it.
Right - what I don't understand is you drop off all happy go lucky as if was any other day but you immediately go home and start posting.
I saw them (multiple) and was like wth??
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laundrymom 09:49 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Right - what I don't understand is you drop off all happy go lucky as if was any other day but you immediately go home and start posting.
I saw them (multiple) and was like wth??
I'd be tempted to reply to their post w local referral number and have their things packed up for pickup.
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thrivingchildcarecom 09:50 AM 03-29-2016
I had this happen to me years ago only then the family was trying to enroll with a friend of mine.

You could try to reach out to them without revealing that you know they are trying to leave. Ask them how they are doing and if they have any questions about your child care.

Or you could do what I did and call and tell them you are letting them go. Either way, maybe start looking to fill the spot.
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Solandia 09:55 AM 03-29-2016
Looking from a parent perspective, I wouldn't give a head's up either. Why ruin the relationship (like you are questioning "whats wrong with me"?) when I might not even find a new daycare or switch for sure? And also risk the provider finding someone new before I leave & then have no provider.

It is a business relationship. Period. Just like a person wouldn't put in notice to an employer before they started looking for a new job.

As a provider, I always like a long notice so that I could find someone to start after the old kid left...but a parent has no way of knowing that you won't replace sooner rather than later. People (many IRL providers that I know) get all bent out of shape when they get a notice to end care. Face it...not everyone out there is professional in their home daycare dealings.
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Rockgirl 10:25 AM 03-29-2016
Is the parent a fb friend of yours, or did you see the post by looking at their fb? That would make a difference to me. If they were a fb friend, I would probably ask about it. If not, I'd just go about my business as usual until they brought it up.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:27 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and wondering what I'd do. I hope I'd bring it up because it might give you answers, it might not, but one way or the other you need to clear the air.
But I certainly don't understand posting searching for new daycare on FB and knowing you're most likely going to read it.
I would simply "like" the Facebook post. I wouldn't go any further than that. They'd likely let you know why they are looking all on their own.

I just had a client interviewing at many different places because they don't like a particular policy I have. They never told me they were doing so but I was informed by the provider they were interviewing and she stated that they were interviewing at a few other places as well. She's my friend. I carried on as usual. After one month of interviews they asked about the possibility of enrolling in additional days. Shocked the socks right off of me. You just never know what might happen. I figure I'm not going to have a perfect relationship with all of my clients these days and I'm accepting of that as long as they follow the policies and aren't rude about it.
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Unregistered 10:32 AM 03-29-2016
One of the reasons I don't add clients as fb friends.

I would ask. Easy and to the point.
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ChelseaB 10:35 AM 03-29-2016
I'm not sure what I would do in this situation, but I do know me, and I know that uncertainty drives me crazy! So I'd probably just ask in a calm fashion -- "hi DCM, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but I noticed your fb post looking for new care. I hope that you aren't dissatisfied with my care, and if so, I'd be happy to speak with you further to reach a reconciliation. However, if it is due to changes Beyond your control, perhaps I can help you out with referrals?" Then you could let everything fall where it may. I try not to take these things personally, although it is hard. It's all part of keeping open communication with your clients, I feel
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Unregistered 10:41 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Is the parent a fb friend of yours, or did you see the post by looking at their fb? That would make a difference to me. If they were a fb friend, I would probably ask about it. If not, I'd just go about my business as usual until they brought it up.

Posted on community pages - not friends
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:41 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Posted on community pages - not friends
I'd likely comment on the surrounding posts so that they're aware that I'm in that group as well then instead of just liking it. I've found people to be pretty forthcoming with information when they're unsure of if I know something or not. Then I don't have to confront them, whether nicely or rudely I don't enjoy it, and they get to be the ones to be honest.
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Laurel 10:43 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally, I'd ask them about it.

They may have hours changing or may be looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side.

Doesn't always mean something is wrong...just that they want to know what's out there.

Who knows but the only way to find out is to ask.

I wouldn't term them just because you think they are terming you. I personally think that's unprofessional and spiteful and not something I would ever consider doing unless I'd traveled other avenues first without any luck.


I once had a parent who came to me and was giving me her notice. I was in shock because this family was great and always complimented me. When I asked her why, she said "Well I am taking a new job and I know you don't like to work past 5:30. I would need to pick him up two days at 6:00." I told her it would be a little extra charge for the late days but I would be willing to do it. So she was relieved and so was I.
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melilley 10:57 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Posted on community pages - not friends
Refer yourself!
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My3cents 11:10 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
This kind of stuff doesn't bother me too much. I never assume the worst, I simply assume they want something different. Different hours or different price or different policies, better location etc. I am a great provider so I don't take this as a slight against me at all.

I know one parent who switched providers who felt terrible about telling me in advance because they actually like me and think I am great and it is nothing personal. They simply wanted a provider that was closer to them and that had extended hours....something I wouldn't do. Not getting up at 6am sorry! I think they were surprised that I took it so well. It is a business afterall and families have to do what is best for them just like I do
I am looking for the like button....
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e.j. 12:03 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Laurel:


I once had a parent who came to me and was giving me her notice. I was in shock because this family was great and always complimented me. When I asked her why, she said "Well I am taking a new job and I know you don't like to work past 5:30. I would need to pick him up two days at 6:00." I told her it would be a little extra charge for the late days but I would be willing to do it. So she was relieved and so was I.
I would ask about it, too. It might be an issue that's easily resolved if you can talk it over with the parent.
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Snowmom 12:28 PM 03-29-2016
Since it bothers you, I would reply to the post: "I have many referrals I'd be happy to share and can jot some down for you at pick up today".
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Thriftylady 03:21 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Laurel:


I once had a parent who came to me and was giving me her notice. I was in shock because this family was great and always complimented me. When I asked her why, she said "Well I am taking a new job and I know you don't like to work past 5:30. I would need to pick him up two days at 6:00." I told her it would be a little extra charge for the late days but I would be willing to do it. So she was relieved and so was I.
I guess something like that didn't cross my mind. But I am a 24 hour provider right not because we need the money, and lets face it with a DD17 (youngest and only one at home) and a truck driver hubby I don't have much of a life lol. But I can see how for some of you someone would think that. I do contracted hours, but can be more flexible if needed and if they want to pay for "premium" time.
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Nurse Jackie 05:14 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Since it bothers you, I would reply to the post: "I have many referrals I'd be happy to share and can jot some down for you at pick up today".
What she said
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Unregistered 05:39 PM 03-29-2016
She friended one of my daycare families and that family said she's bashing me on her page about sick days and other issues.
I was sick last week 1 day other than that I haven't been sick since October and 99% of the time I work sick.

I have no idea what issues she has. We've had a 6 year relationship.
I'm dumbfounded!!!
How am I supposed to open my door to her tomorrow.
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Blackcat31 05:46 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
She friended one of my daycare families and that family said she's bashing me on her page about sick days and other issues.
I was sick last week 1 day other than that I haven't been sick since October and 99% of the time I work sick.

I have no idea what issues she has. We've had a 6 year relationship.
I'm dumbfounded!!!
How am I supposed to open my door to her tomorrow.
Why would she post something negative about you when she knows your other family can read it?

I feel like there is more going on here... not sure what but 6 yr relationship, posts openly and hasnt said a word to you but other family is more than willing to share this info with you....

Why is this other family friends with DCM but willing to tell you about their "friends" posts? How long have you had this second family in care?

I don't know... something isnt adding up.
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Unregistered 05:56 PM 03-29-2016
I am as clueless as you are honestly. She is young and immature I guess.

I've had the other family for a couple
Years - she didn't like them talking smack about me
And thought I should know.
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sleepinghart 05:34 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
She friended one of my daycare families and that family said she's bashing me on her page about sick days and other issues.
I was sick last week 1 day other than that I haven't been sick since October and 99% of the time I work sick.

I have no idea what issues she has. We've had a 6 year relationship.
I'm dumbfounded!!!
How am I supposed to open my door to her tomorrow.
How did it come about that this other family told you this...were they aware that you knew the original family was looking for other care?

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Why would she post something negative about you when she knows your other family can read it?

I feel like there is more going on here... not sure what but 6 yr relationship, posts openly and hasnt said a word to you but other family is more than willing to share this info with you....

Why is this other family friends with DCM but willing to tell you about their "friends" posts? How long have you had this second family in care?

I don't know... something isnt adding up.
(^bolding^ by me)
...Just wanted to say that I totally agree with this.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:42 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Why would she post something negative about you when she knows your other family can read it?

I feel like there is more going on here... not sure what but 6 yr relationship, posts openly and hasnt said a word to you but other family is more than willing to share this info with you....

Why is this other family friends with DCM but willing to tell you about their "friends" posts? How long have you had this second family in care?

I don't know... something isnt adding up.
I've had something similar happen (although, not on Facebook...the Mom was ranting about me at another enrolled child's birthday party). She was deeply upset that I was lessening my working hours causing her to have to find some place else if she wanted to keep her child in care for 10.5 hours a day, 5 days a week. The Mom ended up riling up about 3 other Moms and they all agreed that they would leave as well. None of them left. Only the ranting Mom. The outsider Mom who wouldn't rally with them is the Mom who told me.

Last year I had to enforce a late fee to a neighbor for being a couple of minutes late. They badmouthed me in front of another client as I went to go input that they had paid the late fee into the system. That client told them that I was running a business and of course they'd have a late fee for being late (she was outspoken and we were not friends in the least). Both times I had someone report the instances to me. All of that to say...nothing surprises me anymore and I don't think anything weird is going on beyond a client being miffed. My clients let me know when another is badmouthing me and I'm not surprised to hear that another person's clients would do the same.
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DanceMom 05:46 AM 03-30-2016
Logged back in - think I'm safe.

The other family sent me a text saying I was being bashed on the others FB page. I asked what it said and she sent me screen shots of what was being said.

If there was more going on believe me if let ya know, I have no idea where all of this is coming from - I guess she secretly despises me. I will be confronting her on it.
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DanceMom 05:48 AM 03-30-2016
Although you think something isn't adding up.
Answer me what would you do if you found out a mother was speaking very negative about you to a huge group of people?

Regardless of the reason?

I was sick last week - one day and apparantly it was on her day off and she was pissed spewing many wierd lies about me. Reading them I was in shock, sick to my stomach and very sad as I could not believe it. I get that we all want to vent when things don't go our way but the lies and stuff she was saying was insane!
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Thriftylady 05:49 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
Logged back in - think I'm safe.

The other family sent me a text saying I was being bashed on the others FB page. I asked what it said and she sent me screen shots of what was being said.

If there was more going on believe me if let ya know, I have no idea where all of this is coming from - I guess she secretly despises me. I will be confronting her on it.
I would term for sure if I had proof of the badmouthing. At that point, they are a liability to my business.
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DanceMom 05:56 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I would term for sure if I had proof of the badmouthing. At that point, they are a liability to my business.
Thanks -
This all seems so high school to me ! I'm 42 yrs old she is 26.must be the age difference
How would you term? Provider/parent differences?
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sleepinghart 06:02 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
Logged back in - think I'm safe.

The other family sent me a text saying I was being bashed on the others FB page. I asked what it said and she sent me screen shots of what was being said.

If there was more going on believe me if let ya know, I have no idea where all of this is coming from - I guess she secretly despises me. I will be confronting her on it.
(^bolding^ by me)
I didn't mean that you knew more than you were telling(if that's the way you took it), sorry...If anything, I meant maybe more was going on with them than meets the eye.
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DanceMom 06:05 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by sleepinghart:
(^bolding^ by me)
I didn't mean that you knew more than you were telling(if that's the way you took it), sorry...If anything, I meant maybe more was going on with them than meets the eye.
Thanks for clarifying. I was starting to question myself ! Ha !
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DanceMom 06:07 AM 03-30-2016
Can anyone help write a term letter ?
I've termed before but never for a relationship going south...
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Blackcat31 06:15 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
Can anyone help write a term letter ?
I've termed before but never for a relationship going south...
I didn't mean more going on with you either...I meant the badmouthing mom and the other family.....something seems odd but I have no idea what or why my gut said that...it just seems like a passive aggressive move (bashing on FB) and that there has to be more to it...

NOT anything you would necessarily know about but if she's been with you for 6 yrs and has never acted like this before, "something" IS up for sure..... she (DCM) apparently just hasn't found her backbone to say anything.
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DanceMom 06:21 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I didn't mean more going on with you either...I meant the badmouthing mom and the other family.....something seems odd but I have no idea what or why my gut said that...it just seems like a passive aggressive move (bashing on FB) and that there has to be more to it...

NOT anything you would necessarily know about but if she's been with you for 6 yrs and has never acted like this before, "something" IS up for sure..... she (DCM) apparently just hasn't found her backbone to say anything.
Thanks - I still processing all Of this! she dropped off again all happy chatting etc. I kept quiet mostly and let
Her get on her way!
I feel stabbed in the back. I've always been that provider that treats this more than just a business and more
As second families. Any family that's left it's been so amicable and I've gained a lot of friendships through this daycare. I'm
Just in awe.
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Blackcat31 06:35 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
Thanks - I still processing all Of this! she dropped off again all happy chatting etc. I kept quiet mostly and let
Her get on her way!
I feel stabbed in the back. I've always been that provider that treats this more than just a business and more
As second families. Any family that's left it's been so amicable and I've gained a lot of friendships through this daycare. I'm
Just in awe.
Have you actually seen the posts? Did the family that told you take screen shots...if not, ask them if they will do so.

I can help you write a term letter if you want.
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DanceMom 06:40 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Have you actually seen the posts? Did the family that told you take screen shots...if not, ask them if they will do so.

I can help you write a term letter if you want.
Yes I have the screen shots.
I would appreciate any help !
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Blackcat31 07:14 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
Yes I have the screen shots.
I would appreciate any help !
I PM'ed you what I would say in a term letter.

You can leave as is or edit it and/or let me know if you need help with editing and maybe want to say something different or address something I left out.
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mommyneedsadayoff 07:38 AM 03-30-2016
Sometimes we end up teaching parents more than we do the kids and this may be a case where mom needs to learn the consequences of FB bashing. I know 26 is not super young, but her actions show immaturity and she needs to learn that she should be more careful of what she puts out there.

I would type up a term letter and hand it to her at pick up, along with the dck's stuff. I would tell her exactly why she is being let go. I cannot work with people I don't trust, who are not on my side, so I would refund any money paid and be done today, but you can give two weeks or whatever is best for you. Good luck! Hope it all goes smoothly
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Ariana 07:50 AM 03-30-2016
It sounds to me like this mom lost her temper because you were enforcing policies and is acting really immature. Bashing and badmouthing do not go over well with me so I agree with the terming and I would be clear about why in a professional manner (I am sure BlackCat gave you a great letter).

It is one thing to look for care elsewhere but it is a totally different thing to drag me into the mud in the process.
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Unregistered 02:29 PM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Sometimes we end up teaching parents more than we do the kids and this may be a case where mom needs to learn the consequences of FB bashing. I know 26 is not super young, but her actions show immaturity and she needs to learn that she should be more careful of what she puts out there.

I would type up a term letter and hand it to her at pick up, along with the dck's stuff. I would tell her exactly why she is being let go. I cannot work with people I don't trust, who are not on my side, so I would refund any money paid and be done today, but you can give two weeks or whatever is best for you. Good luck! Hope it all goes smoothly

I would I give her 2 weeks but I would also let her go as soon as she finds slmeone. Don't charge for termination ya know, just get her gone!
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Thriftylady 03:18 PM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I would I give her 2 weeks but I would also let her go as soon as she finds slmeone. Don't charge for termination ya know, just get her gone!
Not me! If you want to bad mouth me and my program, I will be happy to tell you not to let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
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DanceMom 04:07 PM 03-30-2016
Update:

So I confront dcm about her posts looking for care. I told her that I will take her posts as her notice and dcg will be done xx day. She immediately called me bawling hysterical that she doesn't want to leave me, she loves me and she didn't post (over 5 different locations) looking for care to attack or go behind my back. Huh? Well ya did cause you have never came to me with issues. Which I asked her if she had any and her answer was no. She was just looking "to see what's out there"
Bizarre if you have no issues why would you be looking for new care? Because she was bawling and hysterical trying to cover her ass I believe and we got nowhere in the conversation. I did tell her it's best for her to continue her search as I don't think she is being honest with me.

As she's calling me bawling - before and after were
Her bashing me me posts. I was sick last week and she claims I magically am sick on her days off all the time. Which is a lie. I have no idea when she is off. And I'm
Sick like twice a year, sue me I'm human. She attached me being sick on her posts, and said a bunch of crap that wasn't true - obviously to make me sound horrible and her vent sound amazing to her friends.

I have not confronted her on her bashing posts...yet. I'm still processing it I my head - whether to ride it out and let her just leave me soon or terminate her this Friday. I'm just happy right now knowing she will be leaving eventually. I do not need drama from her and this is a first in my career to deal with this kind of stuff!

So that's the story I got...for now.
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Thriftylady 04:10 PM 03-30-2016
I wouldn't confront her any more, except to text and mail return receipt a cease and desist letter for the slander. I would let her know any more would result in me taking legal actions, as it is untrue.
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DanceMom 04:13 PM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I wouldn't confront her any more, except to text and mail return receipt a cease and desist letter for the slander. I would let her know any more would result in me taking legal actions, as it is untrue.
True - not sure what game she's playing here and also know I just need to be done as quick as it started!
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Blackcat31 04:37 PM 03-30-2016
I wouldn't have even bothered with the whole looking for other care issue at all.... Its the slander on FB behind your back to a current family that would get my goat.

I thought that was the direction this thread had gone too.

Looking for other care or checking out what's out there isnt really bad behavior....Many posters mentioned several valid reasons as to why a parent might do that.

But not telling her why you are really upset is poor communication... which is what you are telling her she did wrongly.

I don't understand why you aren't addressing that part (the slander)...
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DanceMom 04:52 PM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I wouldn't have even bothered with the whole looking for other care issue at all.... Its the slander on FB behind your back to a current family that would get my goat.

I thought that was the direction this thread had gone too.

Looking for other care or checking out what's out there isnt really bad behavior....Many posters mentioned several valid reasons as to why a parent might do that.

But not telling her why you are really upset is poor communication... which is what you are telling her she did wrongly.

I don't understand why you aren't addressing that part (the slander)...


I'm working on creating that "backbone" . The big termination backbone. It's been years since I've terminated. It's always SO excruciating for me
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Thriftylady 05:34 PM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
[/b]

I'm working on creating that "backbone" . The big termination backbone. It's been years since I've terminated. It's always SO excruciating for me
Confrontation (and therefore terms) are hard for me also. But I have actually found that the worst part is leading up to it. It usually isn't as bad as it seems it will be and having it over feels so much better.
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Rockgirl 06:34 PM 03-30-2016
Since she knows that you know about the posts looking for care, chances are good that she knows you know about the bashing posts. Those posts would be my issue, and at this point it would be expected to be brought up.
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lovemydaycare0912 06:43 PM 03-30-2016
I know it can be hard to term as I just had to do the same and it was so hard leading up to it. But I felt so good after! I would just address her and say hey listen, x,y, and z. I cannot tolerate this. Last day is such and such. If not, and you just want to deal with it that is on you. I have dealt with a lot but was always upset I didn't term sooner. Especially after all I did for my dcm and she never even thanked me for everything just went complete psycho. Do what is best for you and don't look back.
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DanceMom 08:04 AM 03-31-2016
I did it. Handed her a notice of term and she lost it in my entry way.
I had to ask her to leave a handful Of times - she wanted to keep going on and on. I wasn't going to until pick up on Friday so she could go home and process. Thankfully no one was here yet and she finally left before anyone came.



It's over, Thank god.
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Blackcat31 08:33 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
I did it. Handed her a notice of term and she lost it in my entry way.
I had to ask her to leave a handful Of times - she wanted to keep going on and on. I wasn't going to until pick up on Friday so she could go home and process. Thankfully no one was here yet and she finally left before anyone came.



It's over, Thank god.


Her bad behavior caught up to her.

She can be mad at you all she wants but truth be told it was HER own actions that cost her her daycare services.

She was already looking for other care so she knows what to do...

Oh, and GOOD FOR YOU!!!
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DanceMom 08:41 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


Her bad behavior caught up to her.

She can be mad at you all she wants but truth be told it was HER own actions that cost her her daycare services.

She was already looking for other care so she knows what to do...

Oh, and GOOD FOR YOU!!!
Exactly !
Thanks ! You're help and support is appreciated!
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Rockgirl 08:46 AM 03-31-2016
Good for you! Now she can really see "what's out there".
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Snowmom 09:18 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
I did it. Handed her a notice of term and she lost it in my entry way.
I had to ask her to leave a handful Of times - she wanted to keep going on and on. I wasn't going to until pick up on Friday so she could go home and process. Thankfully no one was here yet and she finally left before anyone came.



It's over, Thank god.

It's never easy, even for the most ******** of us!
I bet you feel better though & congrats for strengthening the backbone!!
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Snowmom 09:20 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:

It's never easy, even for the most ******** of us!
I bet you feel better though & congrats for strengthening the backbone!!
That's funny... I got bleeped. I've never been bleeped before!
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Unregistered 09:28 AM 03-31-2016
I have been doing "this job" for 25+yrs. I'm looking to retire in the next year, so I might handle things a little differently than some.
About a year ago I had a mom come to me with a sob story. Her sitter quit last minute on her-she couldn't miss anymore work-she had no one to help out...the whole gambit of excuses as why her life was harder than anyone else's. I bent over backwards to help her out. The first day she was here her car even broke down and my son gave her a lift to work and then charged her battery for when she picked up. Many times I watched her kids late-or early-to the point I felt taken advantage of. I saw her post of FB she was looking for a replacement sitter because she wanted someone who could offer her (no potty trained) 3 year old more learning I waited till she showed up at my door the next day and gave her termination notice effective immediately. She missed work that day. Lost her job.
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Ariana 09:51 AM 03-31-2016
You did the right thing and it is no longer your problem!

Breath a hige sigh of relief because you put your big girl panties on and did what needed to be done. We have all been there and we have all felt so much better after terming a difficukt and rude client.

Inhave learned more in my short time as a home daycare provider and business owner than I ever did or could out in the workforce. It made me become a better person for sure
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Blackcat31 09:52 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
That's funny... I got bleeped. I've never been bleeped before!
What was the word you used?

You can type it and just add spaces between each letter and it will show...but now Im curious...
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Snowmom 09:56 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
What was the word you used?

You can type it and just add spaces between each letter and it will show...but now Im curious...
h a r d c o r e
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Blackcat31 10:09 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
h a r d c o r e

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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:46 AM 03-31-2016
OP sorry for that mama's drama. Glad it's over for you!

Originally Posted by Snowmom:
h a r d c o r e

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WAHMderful_Life 11:04 AM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
This kind of stuff doesn't bother me too much. I never assume the worst, I simply assume they want something different. Different hours or different price or different policies, better location etc. I am a great provider so I don't take this as a slight against me at all.

I know one parent who switched providers who felt terrible about telling me in advance because they actually like me and think I am great and it is nothing personal. They simply wanted a provider that was closer to them and that had extended hours....something I wouldn't do. Not getting up at 6am sorry! I think they were surprised that I took it so well. It is a business afterall and families have to do what is best for them just like I do
\


Thats exactly what I was thinking, if they haven't complained at all that it probably has to do with location,price or hours.
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Josiegirl 02:06 PM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
h a r d c o r e
I got bleeped recently for that same word. Aren't we a wicked bunch!
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Josiegirl 02:08 PM 03-31-2016
Maybe some day people will finally realize it's not the most brilliant move to complain about your dcprovider on FB!!!
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Thriftylady 02:13 PM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Maybe some day people will finally realize it's not the most brilliant move to complain about your dcprovider on FB!!!
I know right! People put all kinds of stuff on Facebook that makes me face palm. I always think to myself "they do know other people are reading this right?".
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DanceMom 02:28 PM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Maybe some day people will finally realize it's not the most brilliant move to complain about your dcprovider on FB!!!
Yeah really !! Isn't that like commonsense 101?
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Play Care 05:21 PM 03-31-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
h a r d c o r e
See, I was convinced it was b a d a s s!
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Unregistered 10:42 AM 04-01-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Is the parent a fb friend of yours, or did you see the post by looking at their fb? That would make a difference to me. If they were a fb friend, I would probably ask about it. If not, I'd just go about my business as usual until they brought it up.

I Agree with you, is the smarter way to act.
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Ariana 10:48 AM 04-01-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I know right! People put all kinds of stuff on Facebook that makes me face palm. I always think to myself "they do know other people are reading this right?".
. You'd think! I never befriend daycare clients for this very reason and I never complain anywhere other than here which is probably why I complain so much on here
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Alisyn 11:10 AM 04-01-2016
If it were me, I would have to ask about it.....I just couldn't keep wondering about it.....I'd have to get to the bottom of it.
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My3cents 08:11 PM 04-02-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
I did it. Handed her a notice of term and she lost it in my entry way.
I had to ask her to leave a handful Of times - she wanted to keep going on and on. I wasn't going to until pick up on Friday so she could go home and process. Thankfully no one was here yet and she finally left before anyone came.



It's over, Thank god.
After you asked once....all you do is have phone in hand and say.... If you don't leave NOW, I am calling the police. Always answer the door with your phone in hand especially if you are dealing with something like this. Don't ever be afraid to follow through and make that call. Disgruntled clients are not something to play around with.

This parent sounds young and like they are used to getting everything their own way- I could be way off here but that is the view in my head. Ran her mouth to the wrong person this time.....maybe you helped her in the long run and grand scheme of things.....maybe:roll eyes:

As sucky as it seemed......what a relief you must have.

Best- 3cents
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